Fruitcake #2

The final product...now the steps to a very yummy White Fruitcake

Some of the ingredients

The secret ingredient 2 oz lemon extract

Fruitcake

Yeah, um, I thought I would have fruitcake pictures and interesting stuff with this entry but as I have yet to move off my comfy chair to begin the process of baking my famous fruitcake, words will be all you get this morning. Tomorrow, or even later I will have some pics and more info on my day of baking. I have taken the day off and plan on firing up the two ovens I have and "git-er-done".

I haven't worked out all week and that is making me a little crazy. You know after over 10 years of making a habit, of getting up at 5 every morning and hitting the Jazzercise floor, I can say that can break a habit in a matter of days. I think that the time of year plays a huge role in how I'm feeling about this though. I HATE the winter. I HATE the cold. I HATE the look of the trees and the sky. I sit her in my chair pecking away at these keys and occasionally look out my window at the sticks in the gray sky and it saddens me. The only thing that keeps me going is that on the 22 or 23 of this month is the Winter Solstice and that means the days will begin to start getting longer and spring will be just around the corner. But that also means that we still have to contend with January and February. Oh my goodness I hate the drabness of the winter days and the gray that surrounds us now.

OOPS....the phone is ringing...should I answer it...it might be The Hubby and he has a way of messing up my day................I was right! It was "HIM" and yes indeed my day has been cut short. It is good, in a way but DAMMIT! Our architect is going to be here at the house with interior plans for our master bathroom remodel/add-on at 2 pm. That means I have to get cracking on the fruitcake and then have a shower and get dolled up as we have a function at our bank at 5 tonight. Well, I gotta roll....Toodles...

What, can you say that again, I can't hear you!

What, can you say that again, I can't hear you. Huh...just a minute while I try to get my clogged ear open. Since I had that darned head cold a couple of weeks ago my ears are an absolute mess. I am trying not to have to go to the doctor but I may have to give in. First the left ear was sloshy but healed, now the right ear is very sloshy, swollen and very stopped up. It actually is better today but it is driving me crazy. On top of that I had another spot under my arm but it is healing quickly. B has a dear friend that is, I believe a nurse practitioner and she said the staff infection I have will always be with me. I will have flair ups that can happen when my immunities are low. Great I really wanted to hear that but I think deep inside I knew that. What a real downer. Well, I will just have to keep myself healthy and continue the weight loss and exercise.



Today is the beginning of a very busy time for us. Yesterday I finished paying bills for the year at the office and personally and then came home to more in the mail. Well, I'll finish, again, today. This is also the last week for payroll so The Hubby and I have to discuss bonuses for the guys. We have a lot to do at the office to wrap up the year. We also closed on the new property and that has been lots of phone calls to utilities, insurance, just people. We've started moving in the overflow from our other shop but the guy we bought it from hasn't moved out yet. And to add to this, the other guy is going to rent the building we bought last year from us. So he is moving out and in and we are moving out and in. It's getting a little to crazy for me so I only want The Hubby to fill me in on stuff when it is absolutely necessary that I need to know. All this stuff at Christmas has me shaking my head. It's no wonder I've been sick.



My most important thing this week is my next appointment with the therapist. It's funny that this week I've been too busy and sick to be too depressed, which is a good thing. Now, see with that said I don't feel that the therapist is necessary but sure as I have some time on my hands I'm get down again so with that said I'll continue. It can only be a good thing for me. Just one session has given me some food for thought.



I was planning on doing some baking this week but just have not had the time. I need to make my fruitcake but that would mean having to visit the grocery store for some butter and eggs and I just don't know if I want to go there again. Yikes the people. The intensity of people banging shopping carts around for the Christmas holidays is intensified by the icy weather. It is like the sky is falling.

Last night and tonight we are fairly low key but the rest of the week is a whir. Tomorrow night is a holiday party at our bank. Thursday night is a holiday party at a friends house. Friday night is the Peter Mayer concert and dinner with friends. (Peter Mayer also tours with Jimmy Buffet.) Then Saturday is the day of B's graduation party here at the house. We have a caterer and about 50 guests showing up. Today my cleaning lady will be here to spruce up the house so that will be taken care of. Oh and then Sunday A comes home!!!!! I can't wait to see her. It has been since August since she was here.

I know this entry is a disjointed. Maybe the next one my mind will be a little more, well, a little more.

Christmas Carols

Type in any Christmas song and see what the little puppets do. Also, type in any non-Christmas song (I typed in Happy Birthday) and you'll get a kick out of the response.

http://www.sundog.net/carolofthechins/flash/card.swf

Peter Mayer

www.petermayer.com


Kirk of the Hills
Tulsa, OK

Stars and Promises 2008

Friday, December 19, 2008
7:00 pm
Kirk of the Hills
4102 E. 6ast Street
Tulsa, OK 74136
918-494-7088

tickets: $10.00 / $5.00 college students
$40 max for family

Another go around

This week has been busy, busy, busy and next week will be even more so but, you know I kind of like staying busy, like this busy. Next Saturday will the big graduation party for B. Getting her masters is a big deal and I'm so glad we can celebrate the event. She's pretty excited because her jewelry business has picked up and has gotten some interest by an online magazine. If they do a piece on her I will link it. A is also coming home for the holidays on Sunday so I pretty excited about seeing her too, although with the impending weather fronts I'm real afraid she will get delayed.

Today is my first session with the therapist and I'm getting rather excited about it. I hope this isn't just a waste of time. Sometimes I think I'm just blowing it all out of proportion and that I'm doing just fine, like today, then there are days when I'm really down in the dumps. We'll just see today.

Okay now back to the title of this entry. I have yet AGAIN had another go around with the damned staff infection. I'm not sure and I have not been to the doctor but it has all the ear markings of previous occurrences. Although this one is very tiny and already healing. It was on the side of my round belly and the other was on my chin. As I said though I have been very vigilant with them and they are thank goodness healing well and quickly so maybe I'm back to myself. I hope. I'm really tired of being scared of this stuff. It makes my stomach stay in knots.

Well, it is 5:30 a.m. and I'm trying to do this entry in the time I have today as it maybe the only time I have. I'm off to Jazzercise and to begin Friday. Toodles all and I'll report back how the session went.

Signed, Sealed and Delivered

Lots and lots of happenings in our lives this week and it is only Wednesday.

First, we finally signed on the dotted line for the commercial property. I don't feel just real good about the deal because even though we have the keys and a signed deal the "previous" owner is still on the property but should be out by the end of the week. And, to top off the whole thing The Hubby has possibly offered one of our other properties for him to rent from us. I kind of don't have a good feeling about this guy and I have stated my concerns but not sure if it will be heeded.

Last night we went out to dinner with two couples we are friends with at the lake. They came to our house first for drinks. We then went to Lucky's for a wonderful dinner and wonderful chatter and laughter. It was a very nice evening and it really pushed me to get the house in better order, especially my very messy room.

Today was our company party. The Hubby always wants to wait until the very last minute to send out the invites via email or fax and some phone calls. So today is Wednesday and he said to sent them out on Monday. Well, that strategy did not play well this time. We had so much less people than before and lots of food leftover. He was pretty sad that it turned out that way. He said that this may be the last year and that is just fine with me although I told him that we need to at least have a party for our employees. Oh well, at least we are done with it for another year and can deal with it next year.

So we had the party, closing and then I had to rush off to bowling. When I was through and coming in the house The Hubby was leaving for his group dance lesson. Oh and I am not his partner anymore,at least for awhile. He has found another willing guinea pig to take my place, our daughter B. Yippee!!! She goes with him to the private lesson too. Double Yippee!!!

Three nights in a row of not cooking dinner. Monday he went for Jamils, last night was dinner at Lucky's and tonight was leftover beans and cornbread. I heated up my dinner and got a Diet Pepsi out of the little refrigerator in the garage and as I was heading to the kitchen sink and twisting the top off the bottle it exploded fizzy Diet Pepsi in my face, on my arms, all over the floor and cabinet doors. Well, the thing was nearly frozen. Yup, I knew what had happened. The Hubby had cooked all that brisket and ribs for the company party and our refrigerators were full but needed to cool down the meat pretty quick. He had turned the little fridge to maximum so all, and I mean ALL my Diet Pepsi's were frozen. Yeah he was in trouble as I was washing sticky stuff off of my cheek. Yuck.

Tomorrow night is another Christmas open house party at our financial advisers office and then on Friday we are off to see Cirque Du Soliel with B&B. Then Saturday is a Christmas luncheon at the lake and Sunday I'm supposed to have 7 dozen cookies for a cookie exchange. Can you guess which one I have already begged off on, the cookie exchange. Next week is even busier with Tuesday - Friday booked solid. I still have one more present to get and I almost forgot that my niece's birthday is the 17th....oh my goodness this month is going to be an absolute blur.

And for those who have following my saddness, I have made an appointment with a therapist for Friday. Maybe he can give me some perspective on my sadness. Thanks everyone.

Goonies

Yesterday my "friend" called and wanted to know if I was free for the evening. I was and she told me to be ready at 7 for a surprise. She arrived a few minutes after and then we spent a bit of time looking at the plans for our bathroom add-on and remodel then chatted with The Hubby about his hanging of his leg lamp party lights with his Daisy Red Rider BB gun and faux broken glasses. Then the conversation swiveled around to a couple of her children, of course.

All of a sudden she said, "We gotta go." So hopping in her car, I was taken to a destination unknown. (The whole drive there was a conversation on her third child.) A few minutes later we arrived at the movie theater. Ah...a movie. We got in line and she asked which movie I thought we were going to see. I looked at the marque and guessed Goonies. She smiled widely. The Goonies movie is one of my all time favorite movies and I have never seen it on the big screen so I was surprised it was on. The theater is running classic movies.

After the movie we had a nice 10 minute drive home talking about just stuff. When we pulled in the drive, I thought she would come in to visit or just sit in the car and talk, but she pretty much told me I needed to hop out so she could pick up her youngest at the airport. So the evening spent with my friend, which I have not had an extended conversation with since August, consisted of total conversation time of about 20 minutes, most of which was about her children.

Sorry had to get that off my chest. Although the thought about going to the movie was awesome. Am I being a petty nasty little friend. I feel like I am.
___________________________________

Today we were supposed to close on the new property. We were supposed to close last Monday. Both days we have not closed on the property and I don't know if it will even happen. I think we are getting the run around and now the words "my attorney" have been tossed in the ring. The guy we have a contract with is in the middle of a divorce and the property is mortgaged, well, apparently the soon to be ex-father-in-law bought the mortgage and is dangling it over the poor guys head and is saying that the pay-off is more than was stated. EGADS....we are caught in the middle of a stupid divorce of which the in-laws are involved. The Hubby is really sad. He has been so excited about possibly moving the business there and expanding.

____________________________________



Now to a very sad phone call. This morning at the office I heard my cell phone ring in the front office and B answered it. I heard her say, "Papa, what's wrong." It was my Daddy, her Papa. I rounded the doorway and saw tears welling up in B's eyes. I was terrified. It was bad but not as bad as I thought. She handed me the phone and whispered that it was Peaches, his cat. Daddy's little devil cat Peaches.

I took the phone and Daddy was crying. He just had to have her put to sleep and it was crushing him. I knew she had not been well but had no idea it was quite that bad. He was sobbing and said it was like losing Momma all over again. You see Peaches was Momma's cat, but Peaches and Daddy had bonded since Momma died and it was sort of like losing Momma again for him. Poor guy. On top of that my Daddy has never, I repeat NEVER had to make the decision of euthanizing an animal, a pet. Momma had always made that decision. Hell, in fact I had to physically take his suffering, dying dog out of his arms to have put down because he just could not do it. I feel so bad for him because now he is truly alone in that house. That cat was his company, his friend. I'm sure he is crying tonight. This has also been a blow to me. When Daddy said it was like losing Momma all over again I was immediately taken to a real low. As I have written before I'm still dealing with the loss of my Momma and my best friend Gail, along with the death of our dog in the midst of it all, nearly 3 years later. I've been trying to make a decision to see a counselor, a therapist as I'm still sad. So this morning just took me back down again.

The List

The list for the weekend consisted of:

1. Putting up Christmas
2. Cleaning out the bird cages
3. Putting my clothes away from two laundry days ago and do more laundry
4. Wrap presents

That doesn't seem like a lot but as in the previous post it took me all day yesterday to put up Christmas, but it is done. This morning I got the bird cages cleaned out and this afternoon I have wrapped all the presents, at least all that I have. I have one more to buy and a few more to arrive in the mail. The clothes stuff will have to wait, as it always does because I am out of steam. Besides my friend C just called and told me she is picking me up at 7 for my Christmas present and I want to read some blogs and take a little nap. I feel I have accomplished quite a bit this weekend. The Hubby has been busy outside with the lights on the house and smoking briskets and ribs for our company party on Wednesday. Don't worry, he likes to cook ahead so it is easy to slice then he reheats. Works really well.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

Christmas is out of the attic and strewn all over the room ready to adorn the tree. As I was taking the multitude of ornaments out of the multitude of boxes I was amazed at the broken ones this year as I was sure I was pretty careful packing them away last year. In fact I had so much tissue paper I could barely stuff it back into the boxes. I think I know what happened though. When The Hubby was getting it all out of the attic I could hear him tossing the boxes around the attic and I warned him that the ornaments could break....

I'm pretty pleased with getting it all up today buy my aching feet and back!

The Evolution of the faces of "Jill"

Innocent me. Look at that face!


Our engagement picture (before kiddos changed my body forever.)

After kiddos...now grown and my first year of Jazzercise.

This was taken in the fall of 2005. I had actually lost about 40 pounds here but clearly it was not enough.

Summer of 2006. My chins and the roundness of this picture made me HATE to have my pictures taken.

I believe this is spring 2007

Last December 2007 just after the ice storm.

This was taken last week...so November 2008. See how my chins are slowly melting away and the cheeks are slimming. Finally, the Jazzercise, personal trainer, Slim Fast, low fat eating and just plain HARD WORK are paying off!

Get the tissues

http://www.break.com/index/dog-saves-best-friends-life.html

Bowling Alley Food

Yesterday we were back to bowling league after the Thanksgiving holidays and I must say I kicked butt. My average is 136. Yesterday, the first game I bowled a 127, 161 and 165. I did awesome. I have too because my two teammates are more awesome. They are two guys, brothers, identical twin brothers that have averages OVER 200 and they usually meet that average. (I hang my head low.) I have to be the best I can be. I am capable of lobbing that purple ball down those greasy alleys, and sometimes it just doesn't work, but yesterday I did pretty good. We bowled another team of three women, two of which are mother and daughter. They really look alike too, not look actually but in body shape. I have had my weight issues, still do and always will but I DO NOT eat bowling alley food anymore. The ladies went to the grill and ordered burgers, chicken tenders and fries for their dinner. The grill was backed up and they started getting angry that their food was going to be late and we were almost through with bowling. They went down and complained and soon after the food arrived. They took bites of the food and complained it was cold. First they complain it was late, then they complain it was cold but what can you expect from bowling alley food anyway. You can expect to add a few pounds onto your very large thighs and little cholestrol to your blood, that is what you can expect! I guess I am reverse prejudice. I am by no means a thin person but I have changed my eating habits tremedously over the years, and I do relapse, that is a given, but really.

Uhh...

You know when I sit down to write I seem to be totally blank, but when I get in my car and listen to music while driving down the road my mind is a whir of ideas and thoughts about stuff to write. I can listen to a subject on talk radio and I am very creative. Put me in front of this stupid screen and I sit here with my fingers poised on the keys and...nothing, absolutely NOTHING! Maybe I need my chair to move like a car and have images fly by the window to get my mind to think it is driving. I don't get it, my inspirational spot to write is behind the wheel. Maybe I should carry a little recorder and talk the writing, I don't know but it is frustrating.

Oh well, on to my day. I slept in this morning...let me qualify that...I tried to sleep in this morning, but...The Hubby turned off the fan (I have been flashing all night long), he left the bathroom light on when he went into the kitchen to fix his oatmeal, the TV clicked on with the sounds of the History Channel then the DVD of his dance steps sounded through the wall by my head. I gave it up as I was rolling around in a sweat pool and just got up. As I was reading my paper and sipping my delicious coffee he queried the question, "Just how many days are you working out." I knew it was coming when I got the evil-eye yesterday. Well, I replied that I was doing Jazzercise on Monday and Friday's then the personal trainer on Tuesday and Thursday's. "So" he says, "you work out four days a week." "Yes I that is the plan. I will add Wednesday's back when I finally get well." He's afraid I'm going to stop all together and get fat again, I know where this is going but after over 10 years of working out I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT going to stop working out. I just need to give my body a break to rest and heal. He doesn't get it. He is different and I am different and that is just how it is. Frustrating.

Speaking of coffee...yes I did mention it in the previous paragraph...This is my favorite coffee. We drink a thing called coffee concentrate that I make and it is absolutely delicious. My sister-in-law got us the set up for Christmas probably 10 years ago and The Hubby thought it was the stupidest thing he had ever seen, but we threw out the coffee maker and this is how I make coffee now. (DANG IT...I just can't figure out how to insert a link but here is the website for the Toddy Coffee system: toddycafe.com) You use a pound of coffee or close and add cold water. Let sit for 12 hours then pull the plug. You keep the carafe in the refrigerator and the mixture for the coffee is 1 part coffee to 3 parts water. This coffee is low acid and the smoothest taste. The Hubby fills his cup then adds hot water from our hot water dispenser then he microwaves...yeah he has abestos of the mouth. I only use the dispenser. Coffee maker coffee will never taste the same to you after you drink this kind for awhile. Coffee maker coffee is just nasty. You can also do tea with this system. You just have to remember to not let it get low or you may be without coffee one morning as it does take 12 hours but lasts in your refrigerator for up to 14 days...it doesn't last that long here because we love it and drink it too fast. Checkout the website for more info about the Coffee Toddy.

(The Gevalia coffee is not included, it is just the coffee I use but any kind will work.)

Yuck

It is almost 7am and I'm wasting time....well, not wasting time as I love this...reading and posting blogs. I opted to not go workout this morning and I know The Hubby was giving me the eyeball for it. He is a fanatic when it comes to workout and doesn't understand when I don't want to go. Since I've dropped the old routine of 5 days a week I have decided that my body needs some rest. I have been hard at it for so long that I just need to recoup. Since the horrible infections that have been plaguing me and this darned head cold I know I need to just take it easy for a bit to get my immunities back into check. I have not been sick, sick for awhile and I don't want to go back there. This morning I faked a headache for the reason of not going to workout. It works in lots of applications!

Last night I told The Hubby that I was not going to run the dishwasher because this morning I was going to put his breakfast dishes in it, then run it so no dirty dishes in the sink when the girl comes to clean and doesn't have to mess with them. Well, imagine my surprise when I realized the guy ran it last night, after I put a few more dirty dishes in on top of the clean. EGADS! He had the right idea and I won't discourage him so it was run again for grins.

Today we were supposed to close on another property but that has been pushed back as the survey has not been done and the title opinion that is supposed to be done by a lawyer doesn't make sense at all, so we need some clarification. I think technically we are out of contract because the closing date is today but we'll see. It is a cool building, actually two buildings that we tried to buy four years ago. We may eventually move our entire operations there as the metal building is much larger that what we have now, and we are bursting at the seams at this point. We had to buy another work van a couple of weeks ago and will probably have another one in the next six months. I know the economy is kaput at this point but for us it has the been the best year ever and the industry we are in could be horrible next year, but so far it looks great so far.

My mind today is full of lists and I need to set a few dates on my calendar so I can get the darn things out of my head and onto paper. It is just a jumble up there and since it is the end of the year I'm also plagued with work lists, end of the year lists, Christmas lists, gift lists, food lists......EGADS!!!!!

Snow

We were at the cabin this morning and all of a sudden huge flakes started falling and swirling around. Just beautiful.

It is too bad we really couldn't enjoy it as The Hubby and I have been a little green around the gills. Mine is the bottom half while his tummy is very queasy. Don't know what has set us off but YUCK! Yesterday I had to attend a bridal shower that stated as being between 2-4 pm. At 3:45 the gift table was still untouched. I told The Hubby I would be home so we could take off for the cabin at 3:30, well apparently I lied.

I spent part of the afternoon doing a little shopping as I was feeling a little better from the head cold I was fighting. I avoided the malls but instead hit small boutique like stores and was amazed at what I was able to find. I was pretty excited to get a lot of my shopping done. I'm pretty stoked to get so much done. Now I have to get my tree and ornaments out of the attic, make fruitcake, do some Christmas cards and just plain bake lots and lots of goodies. I told Harri and Sin last night that I was going to plan a night where we three couples meet at our house for a drink then hit a nice restaurant for a holiday dinner. They were all for it so I need to get a date planned ASAP. I'm actually feeling like Christmas now. I've been uploading Christmas music in my IPOD and I'm in the mood to make my multitude of lists I love to do. Lots of stuff to do, lots and lots and lots and lots....wow...I'm beginning to get a little woozy from my mind going into overload. Oh well, off to list now...enjoy the video.

Perfection vs Me

This is my number 442 post. Do you think I can post 58 more times to make it to 500 by the end of the year, probably, but probably not. That is a lot of writing and reading to do by December 31 and I just don't know if I have it in me. That would also mean writing more than one a day. I think I've talked myself out of doing it but I do know that by January something I will post my 500th entry.

I had all kinds of plans yesterday and today. I was going to finally put away the mounds of laundry, my laundry that I have done but not put away in the past few weeks. I hate laundry. I hate folding, hanging and matching socks. I like living out of baskets and piles but it just doesn't work very well most of the time and The Hubby really frowns at it. His closet is perfect. He does his own laundry and ironing and he is the whole perception of perfection. I am not, never will be and don't want to be. I cannot live like that. We have separate closets and I like it like that.

The Hubby's

Jill's Mess

We are in the middle of working with our architect on plans to expand the master bath and closet area. When we did the gutting of our house and total remodel the bath area was not touched and has not been touched since the 70's. YUCK! We are going to add on to the house and punch out into the backyard with a deck, hot tub and a workout area in the bathroom add-on. I want my own closet but The Hubby says he doesn't see a problem with a huge closet for us both. Do you see a problem. I do. He said that if I kept it clean then no problem. I am not going to live with his constant nagging that I have dropped a pair of socks on the floor. I am who I am and I am a mess, deal with it. I need a door so I can close it. What will probably happen though is that I will be able to keep it clean as we are designing it to fit MY needs that have not been met before. Now he wants a washer and dryer combo with an ironing board in the middle of it so he doesn't have to carry his laundry to the huge laundry room we already have. Whatever. I will keep all posted on this ongoing battle. Are we having fun yet!

Black Friday Thankfulness

I am not going to do the usual Black Friday Maddness hitting the malls and stores for the good deals this year. Actually, I haven't done that in a few years instead choosing to go to the cabin. This year we are still in town and plan on staying here mainly because we are still grand dog sitting.
MONDO LUIS SHEPLEY

I'm also sick with a stupid head cold and it is confined in my HEAD! I really don't feel bad but just sleepy. Last night Mondo got me up twice and The Hubby once to go outside, so sleep is something I will catch up on today along with my mountains of my laundry that have accumulated. The Hubby does his own so it is MY laundry. Tomorrow I have to go to a bridal shower too that I really don't want to go too, but I MUST.

Okay, now back to the thankfulness of the day:

1. I am thankful for my life in general
2. I am thankful for The Hubby: he does his own laundry, his own ironing, cleans up after dinner, makes me laugh, loves me
3. I am thankful for my two beautiful girls that give me joy to no end
4. I am thankful for my Daddy, Bro and Sis (even though she can royally piss me off)
5. I am thankful for my friends
6. I am thankful for my in-law family; I couldn't have paid for a better Mom-in-Law or Bro's in law
7. I am thankful that the path in life I have chosen to walk down was the right one for me, that it has given me such an abundance of love
8. I am thankful for the beauty of a spring morning (which I can't to see again)
9. I am thankful for the influences in my life that supported me in everything I have accomplished in my little life
10. I am thankful!
    

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to all on this bright and glorious morning. Yeah, that sounds upbeat but I far from it today. Yesterday I started having this little tickle in the back of my throat and realized that I had the beginnings of a sore throat or cold or something. I really didn't feel bad and still don't but this morning, after trying to pickle the tickle in cosmo's, I awoke to crap in my head and nose. Egads! I was going to try and bake some pies this morning but now it is not going to happen. First I don't want to expose anything I might make to germs that might infect my father or the others for that matter. Second, I just don't want to! We are to head off to my Sis's house for turkey dinner about 1 today. This is the first time in many, many years I have not chopped celery and onion and baked cornbread. This is the first time in many, many years I have not plopped the huge turkey in my clean sink for a good wash of clean water and herbs to fill the house with the aroma of roasting turkey. I should be happy that I don't have the hassle but I really don't although the cold thing is helping that I would really like to go back to bed and I can! The only baking I plan on doing today is Mrs. Smith's pies. Yup, I am to frozen pies and I am not too proud to admit it but it is saving my head today.

Around 11 today we are also going to granddog sit with little...uh...big Mondo. B&B are going to Okemah to be with his family today and overnight. This means I may not get much sleep tonight as I hear every little movement he makes at night in his bed at the end of our bed. He's a good dog but I really don't like the responsibility of having him here, especially when we have to leave for a bit. I want to put him in the garage while we leave but The Hubby says to leave him in the backyard and I would but if by some odd chance he gets out I would be devastated and feel horrible. We live 31st & Lewis and he would be at huge risk of possibly being hit. Oh my God I would just not be able to live with myself. I was the same with our little doggy. I will win this battle I assure you.

The Hubby and I went out yesterday and bought our Christmas presents for each other, together. We went to Drysdales and I got a pair of cowboy boots and and a cowboy hat and he got two hats. I will have pictures later when I feel like taking pictures which I don't right now...as...a..a..a...a....CHOO! Bless me...sorry. Oh well, I think I'll turn the TV on and take a little nap...Happy Thanksgiving to one and all this morning.

Disturbing Dreams

I was up before the dang alarm went off this morning. Actually I was jolted awake by my dreams, yelling and crying, so much in fact that my stomach hurt. I had some very disturbing dreams last night. I dream all the time lately and very vividly. The dreams last night made me wake with my jaw clenched and angry. I don't remember much but one of them I was living in a nice trailer home in the middle of nowhere, by myself. I was talking to "someone" about my tornado shelter that was in the middle of the trailer, a concrete shell. The trailer was overgrown with lots of vines that curled in and around it, sort of like the tree house in the Robinson Crusoe show. I was also holding a book to read that I had finished and was looking for another book to read. (Well, I have just finished the first installment of the Twilight series and need another book to read, easy to figure out.)

Next I was going fishing with The Hubby and our architect/friend JB in a very clear green-blue pond that was extremely deep. I had the feeling it was around the new construction area by Bass Pro in Broken Arrow by the expressway, where there used to be a horse farm. I looked in the water and there were some very odd fish and huge fish swimming around, with gigantic teeth. JB threw his line in first and caught one that flew out of the water trashing and I yelled at him to hang on. He was laughing when it flew off his hook back into the cool green depths. Oh, and the little piece of land we were standing on was just a strip of dirt with green moss about 3 feet wide, I didn't look behind us. I was afraid to. The creatures were scary, almost prehistoric with giant gnashing teeth and contorted slimy bodies. Creepy. I know where I got this from, at least the creatures. I was playing a game on ClubPOGO called PICTUREKA before I went to bed last night. It is sort of like Find Waldo, where you find objects and there were a lot of creepy creatures like in my dream, although the dream fish were more realistic than the drawn ones in the game.

The last dream was what woke me up with the crying and anger. I was driving my little red Miata down a highway, fast and there was a truck a little ways behind in the left lane as I was in the right. It was a section between Tulsa and Inola on 412 going up to the big turn to Catoosa and the casino area. I slowed because there was a huge, almost horsesize golden retriever dog running across the road and I didn't want to hit it. I slowed but the white truck in the other lane seemed to speed up and flash by me right towards the golden dog. I turned my head and didn't look but knew what was going to happen. I looked up to drive past a bloody shape of a flat dead dog and the white truck barrelling ahead to a sort of gate, or toll gate. I slowed my car at almost a standstill at the gate and the man was getting out laughing and talking to a bunch of people, like it was a party place and his car had turned into a golf cart. He was wearing yellow golf clothes too. I reached out my hand and smacked him on the back and asked why he couldn't stop, didn't he see the dog. The Hubby was standing there next to him laughing and talking to other people also. I was crying and yelling at him but he just shrugged his shoulders.

That was when I woke up feeling horrible. I had been crying in my dream and yelling and my jaw was killing me as it was clinched in anger. My back hurt and my stomach was in a knot. Well, I guess you are supposed to dream, that means you are in REM sleep but dammit not with those kinds of dreams. I have been dreaming a lot lately but these were the most disturbing ones I've had in a long time.

I don't want too

I really don't want too but here it is a ,Monday post. This weekend I was just in a terrible funk, on the brink of tears most of it. We went to the cabin for a few parties and when people would ask me how I was doing I couldn't lie. I launched into, "not good." I would then explain that I was sad about Thanksgiving this year and then my voice would crack and I would have to walk away or start sobbing. I know exactly what is wrong with me on top of a lot of other stuff, but this weekend it is Thanksgiving. This is the first time in many, many years that I have not been the Queen Bee of Thanksgiving and have both sides of the family over for dinner. This is the first time in probably 20+ years that I have not bought a turkey! Our girls are not going to be her and I'm spending turkey day at my sisters. Yes, the sister that I've been pissed at over the cat fiasco, but she is my sister and so there it is. I was also very ticked off at The Hubby as he went off on B at the office and me and I just got in his face about that but he just didn't see it. So this weekend was a real downer and I'm still in the dumps.

I've had absolutely nothing to do here at the office ALL day long and have been watching TV and playing ClubPOGO and answering the phone. We had an insurance guy come by to do a little middle of the year evaluation of our shop this morning which I hate. We also had to put the entire office full of furniture back together as the cleaning crew had to strip the floors and wax them this weekend. In fact, I don't know what they did to my computer but it took 30 minutes to get the screen to even work. I was not happy.

This afternoon we meet with our attorney and financial advisor to make sure we are planning right, YUCK!

EGADS...I'm bored today!!!!!!!

A Celebration of Food, Music and Culture

I don't know if I have mentioned this before but B teaches at the junior college part time. She teaches in the ESL (English as a Second Language) department. Today she took me to a celebration with the students and teachers. Everyone brought food from there culture to share. Oh my goodness the smells that wafted throughout the room was awesome. There were students from: Syria, United Arab Emirates, Vietnam, Venezuela, Mexico, Columbia, Turkey, Dominican Republic, Koren, India, China, Russia and Kazakhstan, just to name a few. The food ranged from tamales, samosas cooked like eggrolls or deep fried, salads, kabobs with homemade yogurt, rice pudding, Asian gelatin's, taco soup, just awesome food. After we pudged our stomachs the students cranked up the music. They danced salsa, rap, and for some strange reason there was a common song they all loved that talked about "move her body like a cyclone." B warned me that they might grab you and want you to dance, but thank goodness I was left alone. It was great fun watching the students and teachers dance and laugh and have the best time. A great luncheon, truly. I know the pictures are fuzzy but is the best I have from a memorable occasion. The first picture is me trying to find paper to write so I could remember so I could blog about it later. All I could find was an envelop that contained a bill to jot down notes. The second picture is of the gelatin's which were very beautiful. The rest of the pictures are the dancing and the older lady was a hoot. I think she works at TCC. She had a great time shaking her booty.

Well Crap!

Well Crap! I got all dressed up this morning because I'm going to a DVIS luncheon, invited by a friend and neighbor. I am a jeans person so putting a nice pair of slacks on is a big deal for me. It is a fairly new pair of black slacks that I bought for our trip to New York so they have only been worn about 3 times. Anyway, I put them on with a beautiful pink cashmere turtleneck sweater, dolled up my hair and makeup and am ready to go. I have to go home at 11 where Rose will pick me up at 11:15. Now, I just went to the restroom and when I was pulling back up my pants I noticed that the seat seam has popped. They are not too tight, at all but the stitching has come unraveled. CRAP! I have to go home early and hopefully I can find a needle and thread and mend them as I don't have another pair of pants that I know of that are not too big. I have lost a bunch of weight and I have not replaced very many of my "good" clothes for occasions like this. Good Grief. Luckily I have a pair of black underwear and The Hubby says it is not very noticeable. CRAP!

Just Another Day

It is Tuesday and again it is just like every other Tuesday or every day for that matter. I get up. I work out. I shower and I do the stuff that is on my calendar. While at work out this morning I was talking to Wade about my rut and being always on the edge of depression. Then he asked about the weekend and I relayed the details of the fish fry. I also told him about Bev & Kel coming up Saturday and how that was really difficult for me. I know we took the trip to New York with them but this was different. It was a familiar place that Gail had been with Kel many times. Also, while the guys were fishing Bev and I started just talking. We had very nice conversations for two solid days but at one point she inserted in the middle of one of the talks that when she and Kel were getting married in the future, then she continued her chat without stopping. I was stuck at that point and really didn't hear anything else she was adding. Married! Well, I knew that was probably going to happen because Kel is still young (my age) and has a lifetime left, but to actually hear it out in the open just took by surprise. I was telling Wade, PT guy, about this today and then I kind of choked up when I said that I still missed Gail, and I so do. I miss that friend and have not found anything to replace her in my life. God, I am lonely and I'm in a rut and I just don't care. I told him I'm pretty apathetic about everything lately, I just don't care about anything and I think that is dangerous and puts me on the edge. I am aware of this and am trying but there are days that it does get the best of me. Today is one of them.

I am sitting here posting this waiting to leave to take my car to have the faceplate for the radio replaced. After that is done I'll go back to the office and deal with a pile of stuff on my desk. Luckily B is there today so I don't feel guilty away. We put a contract on some investment property last week and they accepted it yesterday so that is stuff I have to do. We hired another guy to be a material handler and so that is stuff I need to deal with. We also had to buy another work van and when The Hubby was filling out the paperwork they informed him that there had been activity on his social security number. Since we don't finance much that was a shock but the activity has happened since 1998 and we have bought many vehicles since then. I was shocked we had not been informed by other dealerships before. So when I get back I have to check the credit reports and then deal with that legally. It was a woman out of Texas. Very concerning. Then I get an email from our attorney that is working on our estate planning who wants to meet, with us with the financial planner so I have to coordinate four different calendars to make that happen. Just crap to do and I DON'T WANT TO DO ANY OF IT!!!!!

Bundle of Joy

I forgot to mention last night that B and I went to see her best friend on Thursday. We picked up lunch and went to her house to see her new little bundle of joy. Rach had little E on Oct 12. I don't know what you might call me but she is my "pseudo" grandchild. Rach was like a third daughter to us as she was at our house always. She went camping with us on our yearly trek to Cove Lake. So I sort of have a little granddaughter. When I first held her she smiled just as big as could be. Yep, I'll kiss and spoil this little bundle of joy.

Fish Fry and more

This entry sadly has no pictures to document the wonderful fish fry we had at the cabin, actually at the wigwam this weekend. We had about 70 turnout for the event and I can tell you I am not looking forward to eating fish for awhile. It was a rousing success as we put out the email invite and told everyone we would supply the fish and condiments, ketchup, tartar sauce and lemons, and everyone else was to bring potluck dishes. We let them decide and it turned out fantastic. There was coleslaw (several kinds), potato salad, cheese grits, salad, hominy salad, pies, cake, cornbread, jalapeno cornbread, just everything you can imagine. I was just stuffed.

This week has kept The Hubby and I busy with financial stuff. We met on Monday with the accountant and Tuesday we met with our financial advisor. These meetings were necessary to make a decision on putting an offer on some investment property. Our business is bursting at the seams and we need more space but the property we are looking at has the potential of leasing out for extra income. So on Wednesday, after the intense meetings we made an offer on the property. We met the realtor, signed the offer and wrote a escrow check for $5000. He left with the paperwork and our check to take it to the owner. I left about 30 minutes after him. I backed out of the parking lot and as I was preparing to shift into drive I saw a small piece of paper in the drive where I had just pulled out. I hesitated and then my gut told me to pick that piece of paper up. I pulled up, opened my door right over the paper and looked down to see $5000, our check was laying on the ground. It had apparently fallen out of the file folder the realtor was carrying. The Hubby walked out of the shop just then to put something into his truck and I motioned him over to my car flagging the check in my hand. He just shook his head, took the check and went inside to call the realtor. I closed my door and went on my way to bowling letting The Hubby handle the situation. So we have made and offer and he countered then we countered back and are waiting to hear.

This next week I have tons on my plate and no desire to accomplish any of it. I need to call one of my classmates that has put together a website for our class to guide me through it (I am the class contact); I need to pay a ton of bills at the office and they will be done tomorrow; I need to pick up the house and do my laundry; I need to call the insurance company to deal with some life insurance stuff YUCK!. All of these things will be done this week as they are necessary and fairly easy, I just don't want to do them. I have a lot of stuff to do at home too that may not get done anytime soon. I still have a closet to clean out but that is a major deal as it is filled with pictures, boxes and boxes of unorganized pictures that I want to organize. The closet is also filled with lots of my craft projects that I just don't do anymore but just can't let go of. Very sad. Actually, The Hubby suggested, after I mentioned, that I look into one of those closet organizers businesses. I don't need the closet for clothes as it is in "my room". I need it to be ORGANIZED which I'm having a hard time doing, especially with the boxes to the ceiling. It is overwhelming. I'm a little overwhelmed at the office too and B is trying to get me to get things together there. I was talking to my friend Bev today and admitted to her that I am just apathetic about everything lately. I don't want to do anything, absolutely nothing. I don't want to read, craft, work, nothing. She said that is sort of the beginnings of depression. I'm actually already there. As I have written before I have been so depressed for at least 2 years after the death of Momma, Gail and our little doggy all within a few months. I seem to rally and then I fall again and that is where I find myself again. I think there are a lot of things going on. I think I have the loss going on, the loss of my mother and one of my best friends and then I'm dealing with the flakiness of another dear friend to top it off. And to make matters worse I'm menopausal! That just makes my mind a jumble of feelings. Oh man I'm going to quit now as I'm making myself more depressed just writing about it. I think I might need to visit a therapist a bit, everyone else in my family has why not me.

What a week

This has been the busiest week for me and really I haven't done that much. It seems that I have run, run, run. Monday we met with our accountant that included lunch. Tuesday we met with the financial advisor which also included lunch. Wednesday was the usual dance lesson and then bowling for me. After bowling pretty good, 131, 150, and 166 we met my brother and his wife for a relaxing dinner. Last night I accepted an invitation to meet at Barnes and Noble with a friend to listen to author Jeff Martin give book reviews for new releases. He has a new book out, "The Customer Is Always Wrong: The Retail Chronicles" that I got signed. Today I slept in today but really need to hit the road as we are going to the cabin and preparing for a huge fish fry tomorrow night. So far we have close to 60 people RSVPed for the event so we have a lot to do tomorrow. Also, our friends Bev and Kell will be up for the night too. I forgot I have to go to the store and eggs, bacon, juice, usual good lake breakfast stuff. Man, I have a lot to do...Sorry this entry is kind of disjointed but my mind is that way today.

I am going to pay.

Yes, I will pay tomorrow and maybe tonight. I will pay with pain. Today I went to a closer Jazzercise center and took a class this morning and then 15 minutes later drove to the personal trainer and took an hour of abuse. I will surely pay tomorrow. I will moan and groan every time I have to stand or sit, especially when I have to go to the little ladies room. It is all worth it though and I feel WONDERFUL, at least today, right this moment I do. It feels good to really be back at the old grind of whittling down this nasty fat that has accumulted upon this skeletal being. What was nice was that one of the ladies that went to the other center was there to visit with today. Maybe more of the other ladies will follow me.

What a Monday!

What a Monday this has turned out to be. I actually was able to sleep in an hour but that was because I was exhausted because I woke up at 2 in the morning and couldn't get back to sleep till about 4 this morning. My mind was playing games with me and racing. Finally here I am in the office and my computer Internet connection is down. I called our IT guy that is working out in the field and he couldn't help me on the phone then I called our nephew who is a computer geek and he gave me some tips but still not helping. He had steps to take and the first one was to replace the CAT5 cable from the wall jack to the tower. Without my computer I was not able to email quotes or get my cameras up for the front door or CHECK MY EMAIL! We then had a meeting with our accountant that took several hours well into the lunch hour. He treated us to lunch at The Wild Fork! We pulled up back at the office and our shop guy was there and I mentioned to The Hubby that MA go to the supply house for a new cable. The Hubby was very insistent that he tear into my tower!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I was insistent that he get a new cable since the one we were using had been here and in use for at least 10 years, you think it just might be bad! He told the shop guy to go and get one to basically shut me up but then realized they might have another one in the back office longer. The new cable plugged in, I rebooted and VIOLA I have INTERNET! I didn't say I told you so but neither did I get a "yes you were right." Humph!

Thanksgiving fiasco all over again!

Here we go again with what to do for Thanksgiving. I have posted the past couple of years about the problems with the other sis-in-law and her games and this year is no exception to the rule. I put the email call out yesterday as I usually do for turkey day at our house as usual for the past umpteen years but my email is pretty silent this weekend. I did get a call from the niece and nephew (the nephew is The Hubby's bros son), anyway she said the SIL informed her that they would be doing T-day at their home at the lake for Her children and that they would be welcome if they didn't have any other plans. Hey wait a minute, now aren't your husbands kids, your step-children a part of your family that should automatically be included in the plans for the turkey feast. She is so excluding any part of the family, our family and trying to make a whole new family for herself. It has been very evident for awhile that she is stirring up some trouble. Recently she made my MIL cry and I will not have that. I don't think the BIL-her hubby knows her shenanigans and I would love for him to find out. She has now started going after the MIL saying to the same previously mentioned niece that the MIL doesn't believe in God and talking bad about her to the niece, again behind the husbands back, when he leaves a room. How sneaky is that to go after your husbands mother, 81 year old mother to the grown grandchildren. I may have to get into the middle little miss smarty pants and cause a stir.

Pretty pics

Just some pretty pics I found on an old roll of film I finally finished using up the other day. Yes I said roll. I still have my handy standby film camera that I absolutly love. Enjoy.A last look at spring

A fan in the window of the cabin

A must on my face everyday

Our creek

Phone calls in the middle of the night

Again we were hit with phone calls in the middle of the night. About midnight the phone rang and I jumped out of bed scrambling to find the cordless phone. Of course, The Hubby grumbled about the interruption to his slumber but I am the one who usually has to deal with the phone in the middle of the night. It was the youngest, A and she was not feeling well. She has been having this pain in her side and lower back off and on for a few days and I told her it sounded like her kidneys. She has always had kidney infections, same as my mother, my grandmother and myself. She apparently she had been at choir rehearsal and someone told her it might be appendicitis so she thought that was it and she was scared. Let me say that she is in California and the time of this phone call was about 10 pm her time. I told her that I could not help her in Oklahoma and if she felt she needed to go to the emergency room she needed to have her guy Gruno take her. I guess she is okay because I have not heard another word from her today although she has talked to her sister and father. I finished being a momma from a distance and crawled back into bed to try to dose off again. The phone again rang at 1 am. There was a hysterical girl on the other end and I could hardly make out what was going on, especially for a half awake person. The sobbing slowed down and I finally heard it was A's friend Ash that lives in California too. (They went to high school together here.) She wanted to know if I knew where her mother was. What! Why would I know where her mother was, I barely know her. I calmed her down and then listened to her "problem". She is living in CA with her Godfather because her parents won't pay for her living there anymore and she got kicked out of her apartment for not paying her bills. The Godfather, she said, had made a play for her. He wanted her to break up with her boyfriend and marry him, he was in love with her. This man is a good 40 years older than her. I really don't know how much of the story is true because this young lady is quite the actress and I think she is reaching out for attention, from her parents for the monetary support that they have taken away. I was there for her and hopefully I helped her but what a night.

A New Future

When the TV kicked on this morning showing the results of the election I was not surprised. I was absolutely undecided when I picked up my ballot, right up to the end. Old habits are very hard to break, but I am so very pleased to see the outcome. I feel that it is our new future and it is so exciting to see it in the younger generation, my girls especially. I can remember being 18 and voting the first time for Nixon, yeah I know, I know but that was a MILLION years ago. It is the same feeling of new, a new future, a new world. How wonderful to start this day with a new hope and that is what Obama is for all of us. I look forward to the new future.

A Pain in the Neck

The stupid alarm is still going off at 5 am and there is no stopping it. I guess I will have to just resign myself to the fact that The Hubby will never let me sleep in again Monday thru Friday. So here I am up again with not too much to do. I have a personal trainer session this morning at 7:15 so it is sit and wait to leave. I got my workout clothes on, took my antibiotic, had a nice cup of coffee and read my paper. Time to brush my teeth but as I was leaning over the sink to spit I turned my head just a little off and OUCHY, there it goes. The pain in my neck - OUCH! Usually in the early spring and fall my neck seems to not handle the change of weather and so it is the usual crick in my neck. I can't turn my head to the left and lifting my arm to scratch my nose is a chore. Thankfully I can still type, ouch, maybe. I called Wade and cancelled as I know today would have been upper body workout and that is truly out. Yesterday I walked/jogged so at least I have some exercise. Tomorrow I am supposed to bowl but that may be out if the neck is still kinked up. I need to shower and wash my hair but that may be excruciatingly painful. I have to vote and drive to south Tulsa to the dealership to have my oil changed, fuel filter, etc. Ouch, turning my head to drive may be difficult. OUCH, the stupid pain in my neck.

A New Day

This morning I woke up and just laid in bed, let me back up a minute. I didn't just wake up, The Hubby, very loudly said my name and brought me out of my slumber. I did not have to get up this morning and so I reset all the clocks so that I could at least have an extra 15 minutes before they would go off to get him up. But, no, The Hubby panicked by the TV not going off and so of course he had to wake me. RATS! So, I really was jarred awake this AM. I thought maybe I would dose back off but alas, again The Hubby has ruined my best laid plans. He is not the quietest person in the mornings or night time either for that matter. He plods around in his size 12 tennis shoes, turning lights on, moaning and stretching and then the TV in the living room comes on vibrating the wall as he is watching the History channel. I laid in bed and debated on whether I should get up and walk/jog around the block or get ready and go to work. I opted for the walk/jog and now I must get in the shower as I STINK!