Just Another Day

It is Tuesday and again it is just like every other Tuesday or every day for that matter. I get up. I work out. I shower and I do the stuff that is on my calendar. While at work out this morning I was talking to Wade about my rut and being always on the edge of depression. Then he asked about the weekend and I relayed the details of the fish fry. I also told him about Bev & Kel coming up Saturday and how that was really difficult for me. I know we took the trip to New York with them but this was different. It was a familiar place that Gail had been with Kel many times. Also, while the guys were fishing Bev and I started just talking. We had very nice conversations for two solid days but at one point she inserted in the middle of one of the talks that when she and Kel were getting married in the future, then she continued her chat without stopping. I was stuck at that point and really didn't hear anything else she was adding. Married! Well, I knew that was probably going to happen because Kel is still young (my age) and has a lifetime left, but to actually hear it out in the open just took by surprise. I was telling Wade, PT guy, about this today and then I kind of choked up when I said that I still missed Gail, and I so do. I miss that friend and have not found anything to replace her in my life. God, I am lonely and I'm in a rut and I just don't care. I told him I'm pretty apathetic about everything lately, I just don't care about anything and I think that is dangerous and puts me on the edge. I am aware of this and am trying but there are days that it does get the best of me. Today is one of them.

I am sitting here posting this waiting to leave to take my car to have the faceplate for the radio replaced. After that is done I'll go back to the office and deal with a pile of stuff on my desk. Luckily B is there today so I don't feel guilty away. We put a contract on some investment property last week and they accepted it yesterday so that is stuff I have to do. We hired another guy to be a material handler and so that is stuff I need to deal with. We also had to buy another work van and when The Hubby was filling out the paperwork they informed him that there had been activity on his social security number. Since we don't finance much that was a shock but the activity has happened since 1998 and we have bought many vehicles since then. I was shocked we had not been informed by other dealerships before. So when I get back I have to check the credit reports and then deal with that legally. It was a woman out of Texas. Very concerning. Then I get an email from our attorney that is working on our estate planning who wants to meet, with us with the financial planner so I have to coordinate four different calendars to make that happen. Just crap to do and I DON'T WANT TO DO ANY OF IT!!!!!