This and That Monday

Good morning all.  Lots to chat about.  First is the sketch for the day.  I did it at 6:30 this morning because I was awake at 4 AM!!!  Honestly I dozed off about 10:30 last night and didn't wake up till 4 so I guess that's good, not even to pee!  My first thought as my eyes opened was, yes it is still dark outside but my there is an awful lot of light streaming through that damn sheet!  We have a fairly thin sheet over the newly installed window until we get something else to cover it.  I took him to task yesterday about why he says that the shutters are too expensive over what we've already spent on everything we've done plus more to come. I fessed up he really does not like shutters, but I said I DO and that is really what I want.  I've thought about it and thought about it, and I've looked at drapes but I really want shutters.  If I go ahead and let him win and have to look at the drapes for the rest of my life I will be sad and unhappy about the decision.  He has had his way on so much other stuff, the windows, the garage, which I had no say so about.  These shutters are what I need to make a decision on.  

And to be clear, most of the time this man of mine is absolutely oblivious to most of his surroundings.  He would not have made a good cop because he is not observant.  I mean I walked out of the house this morning and I can tell you that as I walked past him he didn't even notice what I was even wearing. If I went missing and they asked him to describe what I was wearing he would be at a loss.  I sat next to him for a couple of hours a few days ago and sketched and he never, NEVER saw me do it later when I showed it to him, asking when I did it.  GOOD GRIEF CHARLIE BROWN!  Yet he obsesses over how the forks and spoons in the silverware drawer are laying, spending an inordinate amount of time making them perfect.  He notices if I move his chair in the slightest.  He notices if we run low on toilet paper, paper towels, mustard not even LOOKING IN THE PANTRY.  I have to get up and look for him because if I give him directions: "third shelf down on the long shelves in the basket," he still can't see it.  After nearly 49 years sometimes it just makes me a bit crazy, but I love him and endure it all, even the snoring and kicking feet and legs every single night when he comes to bed before I can fall asleep. 

Another thing, different subject.  In November I wrote about an incident that happened with my friend, my best friend.  It is still taking a toll on me and I am still angry.  Angry at her, angry at the situation, just angry and not feeling being a friend anymore.  She stood me up and not for the first time.  There have been lots and lots of other stuff that has set my teeth on edge but basically, I'm done.  At least done in the bestie department, but still a friend.  We just do not run in the same circles anymore, we haven't even spoken, SPOKEN to each other in nearly two years and we live miles from each other, but I digress.  Saturday was her birthday and I wanted to just say Happy Birthday to her and wasn't sure how to do it so I just posted on FB HB, knowing that she would respond.  All along she has sent me weird texts, maybe comment on a FB post but that's all after nearly a year.  I have been waiting for at least a phone call to apologize but it never happened.  So I posted HB and she responded with  " Thank you, dear one. Lunch next week? I will pick you up at your preferred location. I promise to grovel. I miss you."  Well, that kind of sent me into a bit of a quandary in my head.  I didn't know how to respond.  I do not want to see her.  I'm still angry and not sure I want to make her cry and see it and that is what would happen if I did.  So I reached out to my girls for assistance and they were great help.  So yesterday I wrote her a note.  A note you ask.  Well, for one thing she never EVER reads her email and text messages can go for days without a reply and frankly, I think that would be tacky to do a sort of "Dear John" letter via tex.  So I sat down an wrote to her explaining I needed a break, I needed to heal, that my expectations of her in this friendship are just not something she is capable of, nor does she know that I have them, which is unfair to her.  We have just grown too far apart and that is quite sad but it is what it is and I am not really sad about it.  We had a great friendship while it lasted but sometimes they can run their course and sometimes find their way back, much like my bestie from high school.  We've reconnected and it's like we were never apart, but it took time, time I need again from this other friend.  I certainly hope she understands. 

STOP IT

 I thought I made myself clear, STOP IT with friends who are leaving this world.  Found out that a dear friend, Kellie Slade left us after a lengthy and brave battle with breast cancer.  DAMMIT!!!  I don't know if I can take this.  Kellie was an absolute hoot.  Her husband Jim has known The Hubby since they were toddlers.  Their mothers were best friends.  Kellie was a whirlwind of fun and laughter and she will be greatly missed.  I'm just heartsick over this loss.  Her birthday was the same as my sister.  She passed 3 days after her birthday.

Quick note:  I went to the ear, nose and throat doctor today and after he asked questions, looked around my mouth and scoped my nose down my throat declared it was allergies and acid reflux.  WTF!!!  How do you explain an excruciatingly painful sore throat for nearly two months!  CRAP...CRAP...CRAP!  He did prescribe a steroid, allergy nose spray and acid reflux medicine.  This is simply crazy.  I am glad he prescribed the steroid as I think that will help but allergies and reflux!  It's true then that I maybe stressing so much over everything I'm making it worse.  The brain is still such an uncharted thing.

Party-Time

Tis the season to stay really, really busy.  Today is our huge party and I'm so excited that of course I couldn't sleep in.  My mind starts going off about 4:30 a.m., just about the time Clayton starts waking up for his 5 am feeding.  Once the mind starts whirring I'm done for and just have to get up.  Especially today as the day for our Christmas Extravaganza has come.  I sent out 92 invitations and as of yesterday am still receiving RSVP's, but that is okay.  I've booked for for 150 with the caterer.  The Hubby and I went to the liquor store and purchase a sizeable amount of beverages, nearly $500 worth but we think we might need more.  I have wait staff hired to help.  Finally, yesterday the wonderful brother-in-law came over with boxes of decor to add to my stuff.  He hung wreaths, swags and set sweet little white baby reindeer (pictures later) around to enhance the feel of Christmas.  The Hubby has gone overboard, when he said he wouldn't, and hung lights on the front of the house and around the backyard on the new landscaping.  It's so pretty.  I think the weather is going to hold out one day for us and stay fairly nice, nice enough that we can leave the doors open and have a nice fire in the fire pit, plus we have the heater outside.  I think we will have slightly over a hundred people in attendance but as it is a drop in kind of thing I don't think it will be all at once but we can handle it.

My knee is so much better and my plan for the evening is to wear this killer cocktail dress I purchased.  I'm so hoping I can wear my pumps, my favorite shoes for most of the evening.  I certainly don't want to be forced to my tennis shoes for comfort.  The one thing I won't be doing this time around is drinking a lot of wine.  Oh my gosh, six years ago, the last time we had this kind of shindig, I was still reeling from the loss of my mother and my best friend Gail and I imbibed a bit too much, a LOT too much.  I spent the night on the bathroom floor sick, SICK I say.  It was just too much after all the loss and I took to the wine to have a release.  2006 was a very hard year for me and 2012, I have healed and moved on and to top it off have reconnected with my high school bestie friend, Sharon.  2011-2012 have been the best for me.  We've completed the house totally.  I found Sharon again.  We had our first grandbaby, granddaughter Rio come into our lives.  And, my art is taking a different direction and given me a new sense of ME!  I'm ready for 2013 and what it holds!

Dear Momma,

Yesterday I posted about not really having anything to say but it was a lie.  I was just trying to forget that yesterday was a day I did not want to remember.  Yesterday was the anniversary of the day my mother took her last breath.  2006 was the hardest year I have ever gone through as I chronicled here:

SEPTEMBER '05: Bought new house

DECEMBER 06: Start packing

Pack #2 kiddo to move to Phoenix

Start remodel of new house

Ready our house to sell

JANUARY: 3 Move #2 to Phoenix

16 Meet with funeral home to pre-plan for Momma

27 Our house for sale (lot of open houses)

23 Our 30th Anniversary

FEBRUARY: 6 Mom bad spell

12 Sold House (2 ½ weeks)

MARCH: 4 - 8 #1 kiddo and I to Phoenix to see #2 kiddo

4 GAIL passed at Barry’s 50th B’day party

8 Gail’s funeral

10 Moving Day

11 Another 50th B’day party to attend

13 Close on house

21 Mom another bad spell

APRIL: Mom- couple of bad spells, called in Hospice

MAY: 6 Momma and Daddy’s 51st Wedding Anniversary

#2 home for a weekend visit

Mom - lots of bad spells, falling down 3 times

JUNE: 1 Moved Mom into nursing home

2 Leave for St. Louis to celebrate my 50th Birthday

Numerous phone calls from nursing home and hospice

12 Momma fell in the nursing home and broke her hip - up all night on phone

14 Mom’s hip replacement surgery

17 Over Beloved puppy dog of 12 years passed away

18 Father’s Day for my sad Daddy

22 Mom moved to LTAC (Long Term Acute Care facility

29 Officially checked Momma out of 1st nursing home ....for now

JULY: 6 Hospital called about putting in a feeding tube

7 Wait for call from Bro that he and Daddy went to hospital and had meeting with Mr. Xing to see why Mom did not want feeding tube. Tried eating stimulant and she ate just fine Doc was confused by our not wanting to do it but Mom didn’t want it.

11 (Tuesday 4:30 pm) Hospital called me to say they wanted Momma moved to Skilled Care nursing home possibly by Thursday (July 13)?????!!!

12 Started the phone calls to put in motion the move.

13 Started doing the paperwork to put in motion the move to Nursing Home and had it ready for the move on Friday...the hospital decided to wait till Monday???

WORK - Insurance auditor "dropped" in unannounced.

15 Would have been Gail’s 50th Birthday - Had her hubby for dinner 
17 Moved Momma to Nursing Home - Skilled Care
18 Daddy had a screaming fit at a poor pregnant rehab nurse
26 Momma took her last breath


It is now 2012, six years later and with a lot of tears, journaling here and in my hand written journal, a bit of therapy and I have come out on the other side of the depression that 2006 left for me.  Turning 50 didn't help at all with the sadness but the loss of so many in my life was almost more than I could bear.  Today, six years later I can still cry at the mention of her, Gail, and our sweet puppy, but now I know that the tears are temporary and life goes on.  You can't stop it, you just have to get through the sadness and move on.  I can see that so much good has happened, and some bad.  Daddy's horrible experience with the hip replacement wasn't very much fun but the good outweighs.  Our wonderful journey in fixing up our house; reconnecting with my bestie from high school; B's wedding and now awaiting B&B's new arrival of our first grandchild, a little girl; my journey to find who I want to be, an artist...see life barrels forward whether you want it to or not.  You can't stop it and you have to let the wounds heal so you can continue the good life.  Remember but don't forget.  I miss them all.

Enough Is Enough

Yesterday I had a message on Facebook from a girl I went to high school with informing me that one of our former classmates, Mark, had passed away from colon cancer.  It was a shock and I was saddened to hear the news.  It had been over 40 years since we had set eyes on each other.  When I started doing the class reunions several years ago I connected again with him over the reunion process and with Facebook.  Then, in less than a couple of hours Sis called to tell me that one of my classmates lost her brother, Doug.  Doug was the brother of a girl in my class and was in my brothers class.  I knew him and his sister since the age of 5, and in fact they used to live next door to us for a bit.  So sad, so very, very sad.  They were very young, Mark, 55 (my age) and Doug, 53.  That is scary too.  I'm a bit that age!

Today, The Hubby and will also attend a funeral of a very sweet friend that lost her terrific battle with multiple challenges of cancer.  Nancy was such a fabulous lady and will be missed by everyone whose life she touched.  A forever smile on her face and her gentle laughter filling the air, the world has lost a treasure. 

Old Friends

Yesterday I had lunch with my dear friend C for her birthday.  It was so nice to visit and be with my friend.  We then came to the house so she could see the progress of the construction.  Chat, chat, chat, my day was really nice but it wasn't over.  As I have mentioned before my old high school best bud contacted me and over many long emails we made plans to meet.  It had been 37 years or so since we have seen each other and in high school we were "thick as thieves."  We just took different paths, even though she lives close we just never contacted each other, till now.  Last night we met for dinner.  I was anxious all day long, just couldn't wait for 5 o'clock to roll around.  Finally, I walked into Abuelo's at about 4:45 to sit and wait.  I sat and watched the door in anticipation and then right on the nose of 5 p.m., in the door S walked.  I stood up and approached her as she took her sunglasses off, then we kind of ran into each other arms hugging each other tightly and crying.  Why in the world did we wait so long to mend this falling out.  Oh my goodness, we stepped back wiping tears and then embraced again and sobbed, tears of happiness and sadness that we were fools.  Wiping the mascara and tears we were seated in a booth, ordered drinks and smiled as we looked at each other, a few more tears falling.  Memories and stories were shared again with laughter and some sadness.  I was very sad to know that all those years ago and she has and had to deal with some horrible health issues and family woes, I was not there to be her friend.  Makes me mad that we parted that way but we both agree it was probably what we needed, our paths that were meant for each of us to walk.  Although I don't think we could pinpoint what facilitated the breakup we agreed there were a few things that attributed to it.  We are not blaming or angry about it, we are just glad we are talking now.  A few hours later, 5 to be exact we finally decided that it was time to let them try and close the restaurant.  I did not get to my car until 10:30 last night.  We talked for 5 solid hours.  Amazing.  We can't wait until we see each other again, very, very soon. 

Yawn!

It is 3:10 AM and I'm awake.  I don't often have insomnia problems but I do tonight and the causes I can pinpoint. 

• An email from my old high school best friend with updates of her life and family (sad) and an apology, "Even though we drifted apart after high school (something I will always regret), you can’t imagine what it meant to me to have you as a friend. I will always be there for you if you ever need me."  This truly made me cry and set me off emotionally today.  She wasn't a person that my family liked at all, neither did The Hubby, which he reminded me, but she was my best friend for 6 years and impacted my life.  I was glad for the contact but mad for the insensitivity from him.
• On top of all the construction stuff, Daddy stuff, work stuff, I was informed by The Hubby we bought a little house for either flipping or rental property.  Great, another project.  Can't say I'm too unhappy because I love those kinds of projects but, just great timing.
• The talk of selling some more property has me in a clinch a bit.  I'm not sure I want to.  It can change part of our lives a bit. 
• The Hubby's STUPID cell phone he has left on has rebooted itself 3 times, once every hour, just about the time I have drifted off to sleep.
• The huge thunderstorms that have literally blown through in the past hour making me run to my usual place to wait, the toilet.  Sometimes they scare me. 

So here I am at 3:10 AM, Wednesday morning posting to my blog.  Oh, and Wade, if you are reading this, I'm not going to be there this morning.  Hopefully I will get to sleep sometime. 

Yawn!

Nothing

What is wrong with me.  I just don't understand what the problem is here.  I get absolutely NOTHING out of my brain to put down here lately.  I pull up the screen and stare blankly.  There is so much going on in my life right now that you would think I could write about something but NOTHING!   So I'm just going to add a few pictures while I think of something to share here. 

Pretty clouds.  I'm so glad spring is finally here.  I love looking all around and seeing the trees so lush and green.  Truly makes me happy. 

Our huge tree in the back yard.  The next big project, when we recoup from the room addition, is to tear out this old patio and create an outdoor living space and outdoor kitchen.

News on the painting.  This is the 5x5 and it was sold!  Yeah, it will now reside in someones house.  I am happy.  Now I have to think of next years project, maybe cherry tomatoes.

Sweet A.  I just adore this picture even though it is a few years old.  She drove from California all by herself last Sunday and we had a wonderful visit.  She then climbed back into her cute little white car and drove herself back.  I was relieved to get the phone call that she was back to her "other" home.  Unfortunately she has had some bumps in her life lately and hopefully she won't be mad if I share them.  She and her guy of 4 years have split, a friendly split, somewhat.  Now she has to find new digs and get the career into full swing.  On her way back home she got some terrible news, while on the road.  One of her dear friends in high school Sean was killed in ta head on collision in Arkansas this past weekend and she was just devastated.  So very sad and he was such a fun loving great guy.  Sad things but you know these are some of the bumps and horrible ruts in the road of life.  I am so proud of her striking out like she is and I have all the confidence in her that she will succeed. 

You've Got A Friend

I'm sure you have read here many, many times my rants about a friend.  A friend like Gail, like my Momma or like Lucy and Ethel.  I have been searching for that kind of friendship since 2006 when Gail and Mom passed away and guess what, I think I've found it, unexpectedly.  It is not exactly Lucy and Ethel but it is fun and I am happy.  In my art class that I started 2 years ago (I think), during one of the conversations that goes on all the time, I met a lady sitting next to me, Sheila.  Sheila is a phenomenal artist and absolutely runs rings around me art wise and life wise.  Sheila and I found out that we live across the street from pne another.  What!  How awesomely exciting!  Sheila is 72 years old and I just love her to death.  I joined an art organization that she belongs to, Alpha Rho Tau (ART) and we go to meetings together.  She calls me and asks about my father or sister or family or about anything we have talked about in class.  She is doing Weight Watchers too, so when she knows I weigh in she calls to check on my progress.  Who would have thought.  She and her hubby had us over for dinner one night so I need to have them over too.  She is a wonderful friend and I get a friend and mother figure all rolled into one.  Granted I can't talk to her about sex and stuff but she is a great ear and thinks about me a lot.  I am happy. 

Best Friend

This writing prompt comes directly from the National Blog Posting Month website:  Who was your best friend when you were 10.  Did you still know them at the age of 20. 

My best friend was Jean Ann.  Here we are in her driveway.  I'm on her left side, the shorty.  I know I've written about her before but she pops into my mind often.  We lived next door to each other and were just about inseparable at the age of 10.  She only spent the night at my house probably once or twice but I spent the night at her house probably 5 nights out of the week in the summer.

She had the coolest house with tons and tons of room.  There was a huge basement that was totally redone, like a bar with pool table and everything.  At that time her grandmother stayed with her and her brother (they were twins) while their parents worked.  They called her Nanny and so did every kid that came over.  The house is huge, huge, huge (Daddy still lives next door) and had a wonderful enclosed screen front porch that we played on most of the time, especially during rainy days.  We were so very close and then in the 6th grade, age 11, I broke my leg, severely.  It was October and I was out of school until January with the leg.  (Back then they didn't put in rods or pins, it just healed.  It was a bad, bad break.)  In a child's timetable that kind of distance does funny things and our relationship was forever changed.  She found new friends at school and by the time I came back to school, with a wheelchair and crutches she had moved on.  Even though Jean Ann lived next door we were not as close anymore.  We were friends but her circle of friends changed and she became very "popular".  When we moved on to junior high all the 7th graders were divided into sections.  She was in section 7-3 and I, 7-5.  I was alone and found a new friend that became my new best friend until we graduated from high school.  That is another story.  Jean Ann's new circle of friends were of the popular crowd and by the time we were in 9th grade she was football queen and I was the wall flower.  She acknowledged me but the relationship as best friends definitely was ended.  The popular path for Jean Ann was not kind and by the time we hit 10th grade she became pregnant.  It broke my heart but our friendship came around again.  Her parents rented her a tiny house to move into at the age of 15, by herself and I often stayed the night with her as we watched her belly grow.  I remember her bedroom wall had a life size poster of Mark Spitz with his 7 Olympic medals and his speedo bathing suit.  She was trying to be a grown up person but she was a child having a child and the lesson here was not lost on me.  I'm not sure why she moved out but I think the family needed a break.  She and baby BC moved home but tragedy was not far away.  Shortly after moving home she and her father were close again and he was very proud of that grandson.  He was a truck driver and was killed in a horrible accident involving fog down south.  Jean Ann was distraught and I think that was then end of her sanity.  The baby's father soon after got custody of the baby.  I don't know what transpired to make that happen but it did.  She left to move to Texas and got mixed up into bad drugs that eventually cooked her brain.  Someone with so much hope and promise, a very, very bright girl, done in.  I've heard some bits and pieces of her life and about the age of 23 she called me from Texas, married to a wonderful guy, she said, and they were trying to have a baby.  I think she did have another boy and a few more children after that but what I know of what happened to her is a bit of rumor.  She passed away a few years ago in a nursing home from a heart attack.  I miss that fun girl of 10. 

Weight Watchers

I've waited till this evening to post because I wanted to inform about my first Weight Watchers meeting in a very, very long time.  The first time I did the WW gig it was canned tuna and liver, that would be the late 70's.  I've done it after that, after the first girly was born in 1979 and was again successful.  I've really not done a specific diet since then, only my own thing but I've been able to loose about 50 pounds on my own.  It is now time to get serious because I'm older and have really no obstacles, no reasons why not.  I had signed up online so thought I would just go to the meetings too, not so.  I arrived and the lady said absolutely not, that I could not even come into the meeting, WHAT!  Okay, I only signed up for a 3 month plan online so I would cancel that and sign up there.  I was NOT going to walk away from there, that would be an excuse.  No problem, sign me up!  While waiting in line a lady walked in that we used to go to church with.  Her husband soon followed and I got to visit with them a bit about our kiddos.  I sat through the meeting of clapping and oohs and ahhhs and stars given out and readied myself for the challenge.  After the meeting I looked up from my chair to see our friend B standing there.  She and her new hubby K were married a year ago, remember K was The Hubby's best friend and lost his wife, my dear friend Gail nearly 5 years ago.  I was glad to see a friend there and know I won't be alone.  Well all, here is the beginning of a new journey and I'm draggin' you all with me.  Enjoy the ride, it will surely be a roller coaster!  The weigh in was ICKY!  Christmas was not kind, or two weeks of not working out.  I'm back though. 

Time Flies

Time flies when you are living life doesn't it.  It seems that as I get older time goes faster and faster.  I'm finally at an age and financial stability that I can enjoy my life and all that entails yet the time to have fun with it is escaping me.  You work and work to achieve and if you're not careful you won't be able to enjoy it.  Several years ago The Hubby and I used to get together for dinner and a good game of spades with our friends Gail & Kelly.  We enjoyed the company at least once a month if not more.  We talked about everything in the world, our kids, work, our homes, parents, you know the usual life in general.  Often the subject of retirement would come up and they talked a lot about selling their house and moving to California or even Florida.  Gail love both sunshine states and couldn't wait for Kelly to retire.  They planned as much as we do but sadly Gail died very suddenly in 2006, never to enjoy that time with Kelly, their Golden Years.  She wasn't sick, just keeled over in mid-sentence and was gone.  That is what scares me sometimes.  The Hubby and I talk all the time about retirement and we are just tired.  We've worked for 31 years of our 35 year marriage hard for what we have and we are looking longingly forward to the fun years.  Time flies doesn't it.

Who Do You Miss

The prompt on NaBloPoMo a few days ago was asking "who do you miss right now."  I don't follow the prompts often but since I'm trying to write every day I thought this one rang my bell.  The question that popped out at me today is this one.  Yesterday I was driving home from the office enjoying my new CD from Mumford and Sons and the fall colors when I started missing my momma and Gail.  Just out of the blue I started to get sad and just not sure why.  I have a feeling, like last year, it is the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.  It was my mother's favorite holiday.  She used to love to gear up with the turkey and dressing and pies and just food.  After four years of writing here I seem to be falling into a fall rut with this issue but I just can't help myself.  I feel lonely.  I am lonely for my momma and my friend Gail.  It's a fact and I'm just going to say it and that will be it.

Rejuvenation

The question on NaBloPoMo on Monday was, "Do you get more rejuvenation from being alone or from being with other people? How much alone (or social) time do you need to stay sane?"  That is a very thought provoking idea for me.  I think both being alone and socializing with other people is something all people need at different times in their lives, I know it is true for me.  After Momma died I needed to be alone a lot to deal with the emotions I was feeling.  I even went to Lake Austin Spa the summer after her death, alone and enjoyed every single moment I was there.  There are times when sitting in my hammock at the cabin or on the screened porch I savor alone time.  All that being said I also desire the company of my friends so bad sometimes that my heart hurts when they are not around me.  Probably explains why I miss Gail so much.  She so filled that space.  Answering that question could go either way with me depending on my mood.  How much time needed just depends on my mood.  This week, given that I'm doing the "woman" thing I kind of need the alone time.  As The Hubby often observes, I get in my invisible box.  The weekend I'm going to be surrounded by some old friends as it is the annual Hanging of the Bras weekend.  There will be laughter, talking, singing, dancing, games, eating and lots of wine drinking.  That will so fill the need of company and socializing and by Sunday afternoon I will need some quiet time to reflect and take a breath.  How would you answer this question? 

Never Forget

Say GoodBye

Yesterday was a sad day.  I said goodbye to a high school classmate.  First let me say that I never talked to Ken in high school but that does not mean I don't care.  I am the official contact person for our high school class.  I do the cards, flowers, used to do the newsletter and I'm the keeper of all the important info and contact info.  He passed away after a battle with lung cancer and then brain cancer.  Ken left a wife, two daughters and four granddaughters.  He was a loving father, brother, husband, and grandfather.  He was a hard worker who loved to be in the great outdoors which was evident by the place he lived, in the country in a really fixed up cabin.  Ken was a football and wrestling star in high school and a ladies man.  All of the stuff outside of high school was new to me and really most of the high school stuff as I really didn't know him at all in school.  It was so cool today to see the church filled up with former classmates from our graduating class and the classes below us and above us.  It told a lot about who he was and who we are from the small town I'm from.  His sister gave a very wonderful eulogy telling the room what a good guy Ken was.  One of our classmates I noticed at the end of the pew was just crying to beat the band.  I asked later and was told that Ken had called him about a month before to have lunch and the guy didn't have time.  He was feeling the guilt at that moment.  So sad really. 

Now I'm going to be a little bad and I may get struck down but I have to say this.  The memorial service was just wonderful and all the talk about Ken was about 15 minutes long.  I have to interject here that it also took place at a Baptist church.  Now, after the 15 minute spiel the preacher got up.  Here we go.  We were PREACHED to for the rest of the hour, 45 minutes of non-stop preaching.  Trying to save our miserable souls.  Should anyone want to give themselves to....blah, blah, blah...  I'm sorry but you can tell here that I'm NOT that kind of person.  I actually used to be heavily involved in church and all it was about but I...well, not going there.  My point is that this was a special occasion to say goodbye to a friend and family guy not be saved.  If I wanted to be preached to or saved I would go to my church and not someones memorial service.  Sorry, I'm going to step down from the soapbox and try to remember the good guy who has left his mark on this world.

Friends We Miss

McLinky Monday - Friends

McLinky Monday with the RHOK girls...

Awww, a subject I've written on several times since I started my blog in 2006...What are the top 5 qualities that are most important in your friendships?

• A friend that is there for me, supportive.  I am there for my friends and expect it from them.  To be there in good and bad, happy or sad, there for the duration.
• A friend that is a good listener.  A friend is one who listens to all of my joys and sorrows and does not judge.  I think that is the one quality that I am best at and draws people to me. 
• A friend is honest.  I want someone to tell me if I'm being stupid.  Be honest with me please and I will return the favor. 
• Tolerance & Respect (counts as 2)  Now that honesty has been said, there is also tolerance and respect that you have for your friends.  No two people can have the same ideals and beliefs, EXACTLY...You have to respect a person. 

Technically that is five.

I've written here before about the need of a friend that thinks of me first sometimes.  A person that wants to drop in and have a cup of coffee at a moments notice.  A friend that wants to go shopping, to a movie, or just have a weekend at the lake reading all day long without a word spoken, but enjoying the companionship.  I envy some friendships where not a day goes by where they don't talk.  I had that kind of friendship with my mother and my friend Gail.  I've kind of lost that but I still have loads and loads of friendships.  They are different but that is okay, it is what makes life so wonderful, having all kinds of people enriching your life.  Hmmm, makes the world go 'round.

Sweet Annie

I almost forgot to add to the previous post this but decided that it really needed its own post. I am sad to say that my dear friend Harri has lost a dear sweet friend, Annie. Little Annie was only 3 years old in May but they think her little heart had an incident.  Everyone was just devastated but not as much as my friend Harri.  We will miss her sweet little face and disposition.  Here's to you little sweet Annie.

McLinky Monday: Why Do I Blog

The McLinky Monday question of the day from the RHOK is Why Do I Blog!  Interesting question and actually I am asked that a lot by people who have no idea what a blog is or even what a website is (scary.)   My first blog was June 28, 2006.  It was 3 months after my best friend passed away very suddenly, I turned 50, my mother was dying, we moved and became empty nesters.  I had a lot going on then and needed to vent somehow.  I have journaled for years and years and so blogging was the next step for me.  I like to write.  I'm not necessarily good at it but I like to write.  Writing gives me a good outlet to express and before it just stayed between me, myself and I.  Blogging is me, myself, I and the world!  I like that.  I like an audience, even though it is somewhat a hidden audience.  Back to June of '06, I was in deep depression and total sadness and the blogging helped me to vent and let out some of it, still does.  I blog to let the world know a little about me.  I blog for my health, my mental health.  I blog because I have found friends, never meet kind of friends sometimes but I like that too.  I have always been a big letter writer.  I even have a pen pal that I have written too since I was about 15 years old...I'm 54...you do the math.  I blog because in a way I feel not so lost in this world.  Blogging is fun and I encourage anyone to do it.  I blog!