Quiet Time

The blog Mama's Losin' It has a writing session where the prompts are posted every Tuesday, after choosing one you write about it.  Then on Thursday you go back and link it up.  Today I've chosen the prompt, "Time for a break.  Show us where you go for quiet time."  

I kind of chose that one because it was easy and I've kind of blogged about it before here.  

As I have said before my quiet time place is most generally my hammock at the cabin, or even just the screened porch.  

Can you blame me.  I mean how perfect does this look.  I can see my roses among the many flowers I've planted. 

I can watch the multitude of birds that come by and eat.  

Or I can laze around in the hammock, from the time I get up in the morning, till the time I to go to bed. 

The cabin, our cabin, is my Eden really.  In the summer especially I wake up early, before the sun comes up, fix my coffee, grab the journal, book, magazines, etc. and head for my chair on the screened porch.

There is hardly a sound that early in the morning.  I don't turn on a light as the kitchen light shines a bit through the window, but it's dark.  I quietly sit and listen, and look deep into the dark, trying to see if anything is moving out there.  Once when it was so totally dark, at four or five a.m. I was sitting very quietly, looking when I caught a glimpse of something moving.  The gate has a small LED light that glows down on the steps and there slithering under the gate was a small wild, country cat.  It ran over to the picnic table and climbed on top.  I was dead still as I watched it take a bath and just sit looking into the darkness too.  I'm it was waiting for the birds or maybe a chipmunk or squirrel that visits the bird feeders.  Something suddenly scared it, not me, and it was off in a flash.  

As time rolls on, before the sun peeps over the horizon the world of birds and dogs begins there sing-songs.  You can hear mockingbirds and roosters crowing in the distance and occasionally an owl will hoot his call.  Dogs begin barking and nearby pastures will be filled with the sound of the cows calling for the farmers to FEED ME!  Absolutely the most perfect place for my quiet time.  The stillness and quiet help me to think about the past week or month and contemplate the future.  

So this is where I like to go for my quiet time, to take a break from my world and I don't often share it, I'm protective.  Where do you go.

Monday, The Day After

I hope everyone had a wonderful Father's Day yesterday.  I went to see Daddy and just hung out with him yesterday.  We chatted and I fixed something on his computer.  I assessed his food in the freezer and decided that a run to the store wasn't necessary until about Wednesday.  I took his trash out and cleaned his toilet.  That was my time with Daddy yesterday.  I feel so bad that he is really stuck in that house.  He sits in his front doorway, with it open, just taking in what fresh air he can.  I have toyed with the idea of a ramp so he could go outside, but he only has a month left before the surgery and I HOPE that he will not need it after.  We take him to the doctor every two weeks and that is a trial in itself, especially since the last ordeal of me dropping him.  I really wish the doctor would get it together and push him up on the surgery list.  This waiting is agonizing for Daddy and us.  I want him mobile again so he can get out and do stuff.  I want to take him to restaurants and to the cabin and fishing.  It's just sad and depressing. 

Last week I did yoga on Monday and Friday really enjoying it.  Today I was going to get up and go but I don't have to leave this house for anything today and that is what I plan on doing.  I don't have to be at work or workout or the store or appointments or anything!  I'm staying put.  If I don't want to get dressed, then I won't.  If I don't want to brush my teeth, then I won't (not really).  I am washing the sheets from the bed because Clayton got sick last night on them.  I am going to blog, read blogs and paint.  Time to myself with no workers and no place to go.  Now that is a Monday. 

Writing

I'm still here.  For some unknown reason I just can't seem to come up with words for this blog lately.  I'm blocked in so many ways and not sure why.  I do journal in a handwritten journal but even that has become a bit silent.  Lots of stuff rumbling around in my noggin' but just not able to put it into words.  I haven't even been able to pick up a book to read, although I am listening to audio books in my car.  Every few years I get this way and can't explain it.  I think there is just a lot of stuff on my plate and I'm in kind of a limbo:  Daddy in the nursing home, waiting and waiting for his next surgery; the remodel/add-on to the house that seems to be moving slow as molasses; and more that I can't put here for various reasons.  So don't worry all I will be back on track soon, I hope.  I liked posting everyday but I think I needed a break, to slow down a bit.  Hang in there with me.  The camera should be here soon too and I will be able to share more snapshots of life in my world.  Take care all and Happy Wednesday.  Enjoy an old snapshot of Momma - Happy Mother's Day.

Weathering the Storm

Today I've opened up my Blogger window probably ten times, trying to write a post.  There are so many emotions going on that I don't know where to start.  I'm tired of writing about Daddy and the trevails that abound with his nursing home incarceration and all the crap I've been dealing with.  I can't rail about my friends or family or even my life because so many people that I know read my words here now and I catch all kinds of flack when I do.  I'm just kind in my own little box that I can't write out of.  It's frustrating because I like to write here about everything and be truthful but it just can't happen.  I like the feedback that I get from my online friends but I have to be so very cautious.  So what do I write about, the weather, I don't think so. 

I guess it's weather, construction, flowers and Clayton.  Not too bad. 

Ettiquette 101

I have a question for you.  Do you write thank you notes?  Do you send out graduation invites, wedding announcements, birth announcements, birthday cards, etc?  Do you expect them?  I've written about writing letters before as I love to write and continue to write to friends and my pen pal for nearly 40 years.  Somewhere in my upbringing I learned from my grandmother the importance and proper way of these things.  Granny taught me how to set a proper table and how to iron your pillow cases and sheets.  I was taught manners; no elbows on the table, napkin in your lap, you know all the right things.  Somehow a close member of my family did not embrace those lessons.  This family member has NEVER sent a thank you note or birthday card out in their life and now I find out that they are not going to send out graduation notices for the graduating senior in their family.  Let me tell you something, I send birthday cards to their children every year, with cash included, and one year when I had not gotten around to it I received a phone call wondering where it was, with the money!  What in the world happened here.  We were raised together.  I don't understand, and you know I am very, very tempted NOT to send a congratulatory card and "money" to the senior but that would not be fair to the child.  I questioned why and the family member just said they didn't want to but and the announcements were too expensive.  I think it is sheer laziness and not showing the proper stuff to the child.  For goodness sake you can make your own and at least send them to immediate family.  Am I missing this or are all of these lessons not important anymore!

Have you ever lost anything of value?

The prompt on NaBloPoMo yesterday was a very interesting idea and really got my mind to workin'.  (My girls may need to not read this post.)

Have you ever lost anything of value? Do you still think about it? Imagine how you'd feel if you'd given it away instead.

Wow, that question made me immediately think about my virginity.  Don't know why it did but that is where this mind goes.  When I was young, high school, 17 or 18 I had plenty of chances of giving what I thought a most precious gift away.  Yeah, yeah, I'm old fashioned but that is me.

Across the street from my house and down a block was the local Humpty Dumpty grocery store.  We walked to the store all the time and when I was 17 or so there was one of the sack boys working that I had a huge crush on.  Actually, there were several but this flavor of the week had my attention.  He was ahead of me in school by a couple of years and I thought out of my league, but crushes don't understand that.  I found every opportunity  I could to walk to the store.  I would look in the pantry and announce to Momma that she needed corn or green beans or whatever, anything to venture through the checkout line.  Finally, after a week or two of that I got a phone call from said crush to join him at a party!  OH MY GOSH!  I was over the moon.  He came by, picked me up and we traveled to Tulsa where we ended up parked on a street where construction for a new housing addition was taking place, no inhabitants.  I asked him where the party was and he reached into the backseat to pull a beer out of an ice chest, "Right here," he says.  Uh oh!  I didn't partake because at the time my parents were HUGE beer drinkers and I wasn't, had never even had a drink.  Okay, I was a bit of a prude, naive, innocent, but knew what I wasn't going to do.  We smooched a bit but it didn't go too far.  Party, Harrumph!  At one point he looked in the rear view mirror to fix his hair and actually said, "Not bad looking, huh!"  That should have put my radar up but I was young. 

I was so eat up with this guy and somehow one afternoon I ended up at his house with no one home.  He put on Chicago VII album, in particular the song, Wishing You Were Here, can hardly hear that song without thinking of him.  Anyway, back to the making out.  It was heavy, very, very heavy, no clothes kind but the old fashioned kind of gal I was in my head knew that this was not right.  I halted it!  He was not happy and I can't blame him, I was a tease I guess but reality was flooding my brain.  I left him very angry.  Later I talked to him on the phone and he told me, "You'll never get a guy unless you give it up.  No guy will want someone who doesn't know how...blah, blah, blah!"  I knew right then, through all the tears, that I was right.  He was a jerk and I was so glad I didn't give it up to him because I saved it for the most perfect guy in the world for me, The Hubby.   

I can't imagine if I had gone all the way with the guy.  Hell, he didn't even have protection and I surely didn't.  What if I had gotten pregnant.  I was reminded all the time of my friend Jean Ann who was dealing with that and I surely didn't want to follow in her footsteps or some of my close relatives.  My life might have taken a very different turn if I had followed the young heat.  What about you?  Have you ever lost anything of value? Do you still think about it? Imagine how you'd feel if you'd given it away instead.  It doesn't have to be anything this intense but does make you think, doesn't it. 

If you could...

If you could start any type of new business, what would it be?  This is the question of the day on NaBloPoMo and since I've hit a sort of writers block, here goes. 

If I could start any type of new business it would be a destination spa in the state I live in.  This is something I have thought a lot about especially since I spent a week at Lake Austin Spa in 2007.  The only hold back right now is the economy.  I don't think people spend on play stuff right now but...if I could do it!  I think a destination spa would be such fun and, okay I know it is a pipe dream but what fun to dream right.

Another idea that could be more a reality would be an art gallery/supply store with a place for a studio. That could happen if I pushed it with The Hubby, and maybe something that we could do closer to his retirement.  What do you think? 

Pen Pals

First snow pic's:

While reading my many blog friends from Google Reader I had a thought.  It is that my bloggy friends are my pen pals.  Most don't live close but we communicate via the written word still.  Did I ever tell you that I have a pen pal.  I have had this pen pal since 1972, yes that is 39 years.  OH MY GOSH!  I had not realized that.  Najam was originally from Pakistan but has lived in Canada for probably 20+ years now.  He is married with two beautiful grown daughters.  We don't necessarily write often anymore but we are Facebook friends and keep in contact there.  I love to write letters and keep in contact with many people with written, hand written letters.  My friends may not write back but that is okay, I really don't mind.  I think the written letter or note is very special and appreciated.  I don't expect a letter back but love it when they do arrive.  Actually, I love mail, whether it is the clunk from the mailman dropping mail through the slot or "You've Got Mail", I love mail.  When I was a child (amazing where this ramble has gone) I remember saving the box tops off of Kellogg's Frosted Flakes cereal for a Tony The Tiger spoon.  Momma helped me put my collection and I think a quarter, as we taped it to a piece of paper, into an envelope and send it off.  I checked that mailbox every single day waiting and wondering when the spoon would arrive.  When it finally came I was beyond excited.  It came in a box and was the most special thing I owned.  I don't know what happened to that spoon.  Ever since that time I have waited in anticipation for the mail to arrive, even if it is bills.  I wait for a card or letter or note from someone and sometimes it happens, out of the blue.  My day is complete. 

One time after a harrowing legal thing I wrote a note of thanks to the lawyer who helped us save our business and our sanity.  About 6 months later we had a company Christmas party and invited him to the BBQ lunch.  He arrived and gave me a huge bear hug and then produced out of his inside jacket pocket a well handled envelope, the thank you note I had written.  He said he had never received a thank you note for his work.  He carried that note with him every day.  See you can make a difference in a persons life with just a quick note. 

Do you write letters?  Do you or have you ever had a pen pal?  Do you ever just write notes for no reason?

Come On Baby Light My Fire

This week I've been on fire in more ways than one.   I've started Weight Watchers and I've amped up my exercise regimen.  I've also been busy trying to overhaul "my" room.  I want to hang some pictures that have been amassing around the room so I can get more space and get rid of the dust bunnies. 



That would be a dust bunny!



Messy, messy room.  See above the table, on the shelf.  Those are my college degree thingy's and I have never hung them.  They are to go there and that is what the plan is this week.  I've cleaned under that table and now the stuff is piled on top of it ready to sort.  I'm in the mood to TOSS OUT! 

Today I'm finding a sunny corner in the breakfast room at the cabin to blog and try to maintain my everyday thing here.  It's quiet and very cold but I plan on reading, journaling, napping and enjoying the wonderful fire in the fireplace. 

More Than a Typical Monday

Yesterday was one busy day and it started with the news from BlogHer telling me my blog was one of the hot blogs for the day!  I was SOOOOOOO excited.  My day was the usual workout and shower, ready for the day.  This past weekend I spent three solid days cleaning and setting up Christmas and Monday was just a continuation of that event. 

• Workout,
• Shower
• Drop stuff at Goodwill from my closet
• Buy HUGE poinsettia for living room
• Work:  Invoicing, open mail
• Bank
• Post Office to mail invoices I typed
• Grocery to buy stuff for the Beef Bourguignon and rest of meal
• Radio Shack - cord to hook up DVD player to my little TV in "my room" - it worked
• Liquor Store - wine for guests and to cook the BB
• Home
• Dinner
• Cook the BB - took longer than the 30 minutes stated on the recipe.  Thank goodness I started last night.

Today I'm too busy to cook the BB but apple cobbler is to be cooked so will be warm for my guests.  I have a hair appointment to wash the gray away, work, art class and then it is party time.  WHEW!  I'm tired I can tell you. 


A side note...I'm listening on my iPod a book called Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay.  It is a very powerful book.  I "listened" to another of her books, "A Secret Kept" and really enjoyed the way she writes but it mindful it is really the way it is read as I've only listened to her books but they are well worth the listen!

Tis the Season

Tis the season to pay property and real estate taxes.  Yikes!  This is the time of year that I forget we have decided to own lots of property.  It's kind of scary when the County Treasurer has to mail a "packet" with all the invoices.  So this morning I'm sorting and organizing and planning to pay a BUTT LOAD of money but that's okay.  I'm good. 

Just to update everyone that today is my 992 post.  I have gone back and forth about not posting everyday, spreading them out till Christmas or the end of the year but with only 8 left, well, there you go.  So November 30th should be my 1,000 post and I'm trying to get something special going but who knows it may be just an ordinary day of babble. 

Last night The Hubby, B&B and I went to see Wicked.  It was good but you know I didn't really think it was GREAT like all the hype that has gone with it.  It was long and some of the songs were really not necessary and not well written, in my opinion.  Honestly, we've been to Les Miserables twice and would see it again in a heartbeat.  It was the most awesome thing ever.  Absolutely powerful and the music brings you to tears. 

Goals

I am getting close to my goal of 1,000 posts and as I near it I am trying to come up with a giveaway.  I think it should be Big, Big, Big, don't you think!  It's very important to me that I have accomplished this goal along with posting every single day for the past 3 months.  Definitely, it has been a struggle I'll have to admit but so worthwhile.  Writing everyday hones those writing skills although some of the gunk I've written is, well gunk.  So be prepared to follow, comment and pass the info on when I come up with a good giveaway soon. 

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The Holiday's are fast approaching and I/we have decided that instead of "me" doing Thanksgiving we will spend it with his family this year.  It has been several years since we've done The Hubby family Thanksgiving and it is time.  Part of the reason is that since all the stuff going on with Sis, I'm just needing some distance.  I will have Daddy to the cabin and the turkey day feast there next weekend, so time spent with him will be accomplished.  Christmas on the other hand will hopefully be here on the eve with The Hubby's family and Christmas day at my Daddy's.  We've kind of got a thing going on with Daddy and Christmas Day, and since his house is in such good shape now we can enjoy the time spent there.  We've also hosted some major parties in the past for the Christmas season, but this year I decided to break it up a bit.  Hosting parties for 50-75 people is daunting in the least and I'm not up to it right now.  So I've broken up some groups of our friends and am hosting dinner parties.  The first one is November 30 with three other couples, so 8 people in all.  I am a very laid back kind of host and so the menu will be beef bourguignon, salad, bread and a fall cobbler of apples and cranberries.  How does that sound!  It will be easy and I can even fix it ahead of time so the main thing is to visit.  I'm excited.  I will have the next group the next Tuesday and then a night of neighbors with heavy appetizers.  I think this should all be great fun.  There may be more but for now that will do. 

Everyday

Since August I have been posting a blog everyday.  It has been a challenge but I'm on a mission.  This post will be number 949 which means if I continue I should hit 1,000 posts before the end of the year.  I have been blogging since 2006 just after my dear friend Gail died and just before my sweet Momma passed.  This blog has been my release from the depression and stress that came from those two events.  I've written about my depression, saddness, middle age crazy, menopause, work, family, just anything that is important in MY life.  My blog also gives me a chance to write.  I have always written in my hand written journals and will always write in them.  I love to write.  I used to think that fiction would be my venue but I have found that I'm not good at that and I don't really enjoy it as much as I do this kind of writing.  I like to write what is in my mind and what I feel at any given moment.  I don't necessarily share everything here as that could get me in trouble with my family and friends.  I wish I had the guts to just dump here regardless of what people think but I like being married.  I love my kids and family and friends and don't want to alienate them so my hand journals will be the place for that stuff.  Maybe someday I will be brave enough to share some stuff from my history here, someday. 

Oklahoma Blogging Week: Tulsa Meetup

I was waiting...waiting for...the Tulsa Meetup for Oklahoma Blogging Week! 

It was quite fun and put together by Tasha Ball of Tasha Does Tulsa and Oklahoma Prosperity Project.  A OPP representative spoke and they were responsible for the food of the evening at The Melting Pot.   

As I said, Miss Tasha was our host and main speaker...

with fondue food from The Melting Pot and our other host OPP...

fun bloggie friends...

I spent a bit more time sitting, eating, listening and enjoying the beautiful evening air.  It did get a tad warm sitting close to the fondue parts but all in all it was a wonderful night.

This and That

• Got the Wicked tickets.  Finally filled out the fax sheet with what I wanted and they called me within a couple of hours and it is a done deal.  Season tickets to the Broadway season!  Done!
• Officially pulled out of an art show, Art on the Square at Utica Square.  It wasn't my fault because "someone" messed up the the size regulations and my pieces are too big.  Not my bad.  But, will be in two shows in the next few months.
• Started the new TV season...oh my life is not my own.
• Ashton and Demi, really!
• Steven, Randy and J-Lo...hmmm, we'll see.
• Bye-Bye Hoff
• Fall is here, too bad the cool weather is not.
• Getting tired of mother nature not leaving my side...
• Love gin and tonic with a twist of lime, my new fav cocktail.
• I promise I still love you 'cause we're family but please back off.

Curse Words

The prompt from National Blog Posting Month for today is:  "Some people hate curse words, some people love them. Which side are you on? And what's your favorite curse (or curse-substitute) word?" 
Curse words, very interesting subject.  I can't lie, I use them.  I may not like it too much but I do use them and I somehow get a release when I use them.  Weird, I know but it's the truth.  When I was a kidlet, they were just not allowed even though my parents used a few choice ones occasionally.  It's funny that my brother, for the longest time thought his name was "Dammit Bro".  Really the worst words ever used in our household were hell or dammit, that was about it.  I didn't hear the other words until I was in junior high and  attempted to use them to look cool.  I failed miserably.  When my girls were little I tried to use words like "jelly bean" in place of the curse words but now that I'm kid-free I use curse words when I want to and sometimes when I don't want to.  It's amazing that when you allow those words to become more a part of your daily speak how they are easier to pop out when you don't want them too.  I've been known to use one at the most inappropriate times.  Not good.  When grandkiddo's appear in our lives I will rein myself in and when the great niece and nephews are around I'm a good girl I assure you.  Curse words have become so common in our everyday speak that they are losing their potency to shock.  Even on television, regular TV, the curse word list, like George Carlin's 7 Dirty Words, are becoming more commonplace.  Do you curse?  Can you answer the question of the day?

Wrapping Up The Month

 NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month)   Yes the month has come to an end but I think I am going to continue posting every day.  It is a good exercise to use the writing muscles.  I've had a time coming up with topics to post about but all in all this has been a good experience.  At one time I thought I wanted to become a fiction writer but I don't think that is for me.  Don't get me wrong I have a lot of stories in my head but I just can't seem to get them to fruition.  At night sometimes when I can't sleep I write stories in my head but that is just before I drift off, and of course I usually don't remember them.  I wish there was a typewriter connected to my brain that could write the stuff that floats around up their.  Just seems kind of crowded.  One day I hope to write about my childhood and I've done a bit of that in my journals.  I need to get The Hubby's childhood down in print.  It amazes me his stories with his brothers and friends.  His mother, I'm surprised she is sane and still standing.  Those boys did so much stuff to get in trouble for or even die from, but of course those were different times.  The world was a much different place where we could walk all over town and not be afraid.  We would come home when the street lamps came on.  It was a safer place so these stories are stuff you just don't live anymore but love to re-live through story telling.  There are a few things in my childhood I write in my journals that probably don't need to come out till some people are gone in my life.  I think everyone has a few secrets that need to stay secrets.

Thinking Cap

It is almost the end of the month and this is the 30th post for the month.  I've had to put on my thinking cap to come up with interesting topics worthy of the written.  I have baled a bit sometimes with pictures but I'm still here.  If I keep going I will have my 1,000 post by the end of the year and I'm thinking of a really BIG giveaway!!!  

Last night was a restless night of trying to sleep.  I don't know what was wrong with me but it was a toss and turn night.  I fell asleep about 10:30 but sweet Clayton woke me up at midnight because The Hubby had fallen asleep on the couch and Clayton could not stand it.  The Hubby trudged to bed and I was awake.  I tossed and turned and punched the pillow till about 3:30 when I finally drifted off.  Of course the alarm went off at 4:45 and I was up again, groggy.  I needed to hit the treadmill with Mr. Wade but I just couldn't get my mind together and I know the body won't cooperate with little sleep.  I'm even having a hard time getting my thoughts together here.  This doesn't happen often and I hate it when it does.  Sleep should be good tonight and very welcome.  Hopefully that thinking cap will kick into gear for tomorrow for an awesome blog post???!!! 

Letters

I've almost come to the end of the month of August and my attempt to blog every single day.  So far I've been successful.  I'm trying to come up with an idea here and hoping that if I keep typing and blabbering on that a spark of a thought will pop into my head and make its way to my fingertips...(run on). 

Okay, I have an idea.  Do you still write real letters, not typed but real, honest to goodness ink letters to anyone?  I do.  I am not as good as I used to be but I write letters.  I still even have a pen pal from high school that I write to.  He was from Pakistan but now resides in Canada with his wife and grown children.  I write to my cousins, friends from high school and old neighbors.  I love to write letters and think the ability is getting lost in our techie generation.  Even if it is a note of thank you or encouragement do it.  It is a wonderful experience.  You know several years ago we had a work issue and had to hire a specific kind of lawyer to help us out.  I learned so much and I think he saved our company and our sanity at the time.  After the dust settled I wrote him a thank you note.  Several months later we were hosting our annual Christmas BBQ lunch and invited him.  He showed up and hugged my neck and showed me in his suit coat jacket that thank you note.  He carried it with him everywhere.  Do you know that no one had EVER written him a thank you note.  I was amazed and so glad that it enriched his life.  See do it.   It works.  Write a letter a thank you note or just to say thinking of you.

Struggle

It has been a real struggle to write the past couple of days.  This everyday thing is definitely a challenge for me.  I've been very behind in reading my bloggy friends posts too.  Sorry everyone, hopefully I'll catch up this weekend.  It should be beautiful and I have not much to do.  I've been heavily into the book I'm reading on my Kindle, "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" and can't wait to finish it  It's not a hard read except for the foreign names of people and places but the end of it is pretty good.  I usually do a lot more reading in the summer but it's been rather slow too, along with the painting stuff.  I did paint a bit yesterday and then I hit Coldwater Creek and did damage to my credit card.  I HAVE to empty my closet a bit.  Hopefully on Sunday I'll get started on that. This week I was successful in getting a full week in of exercise, can't say that for the food, but exercise, yes.  I've had a sinus headache thing going on all week, except for today.  Also, have a tooth that is questionable so doesn't help the headache thing.    See I have a bit to say but it is a ramble.  Just what is flying around in my noggin.  Don't forget to check out the painting blog on the right.  I've started a couple more projects.  Later gators!