Monday, June 30, 2008

Monday Morning and I'm Not Home

It is Monday morning and I'm not home. In fact, I didn't go home yesterday. I stayed another night at the cabin and I'm certainly glad I did. The evening was pretty quiet up here as most everybody went home from the weekend. There are mainly the residents still here. I had dinner with one of those couples and it was very pleasant. I didn't stay long but opted to go to Sin and Bare's along with Harri and Jimbo. They had been out on the pontoon boat ALL day long and were exhausted but were having dinner and sitting around the fire. I joined for a brief time but was soon home about 10 to watch the news. I didn't make it long for the news as I fell asleep on the couch and woke up about 11:30 and hit the bed. It was such a cool evening I turned the A/C off and opened the windows and turned the fan on. This morning is crisp and I'm actually sitting at the neighbors deck using the other neighbors Internet connection with a jacket on.

The sounds of the morning here are just incredible. I hear the birds, all kinds of birds waking up the world here. In the distance I can hear cows bellowing to be milked and dogs baying at something they have seen. The only sound of humans is the very distant interstate where the cars are making their early morning commutes. Now that it is after eight the workmen have descended upon the area to work on some of the remodeling that is constantly going on up here. The hammers, drills and saws have started their sing-song for the day. I can really do without that. Now I can hear one of their radios blaring through the nature sounds, breaking the solitude that I have found here.

Across the road at Gary's cabin and his neighbors cabin there is a crazy red cardinal that is constantly bashing his poor little head against the windows. He has done this for months now, back and forth from one picture window to the other. I think he sees another male cardinal and is doing the territorial thing. It goes on all day long and will probably kill him. Poor thing. They should hang a piece of cardboard or something in the windows to send him on his way for a bit. Tap, tap, tap, SMASH, there he goes again.

I'm really thinking about staying for another night but not sure if The Hubby will go for it. I know he likes me close and I mean close to the office but I'm totally enjoying my time here this week and I know that won't last as this weekend approaches. He had better just let me alone anyway as I have the dreaded "Curse" and am really not too pleasant to be around. I can't believe how utterly depressed I was just before it started this week. I just didn't think about that as it was January for the last episode. Maybe it will be another 6 months or even, if lucky, a year for the next one, but I don't know if I can manage the deep depression that comes with it. Oh my goodness, I felt like I was a teenager again. YUCK!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Now I know why!

I have figured out the reason for the depression.

I was able to get away for the weekend early on Friday to the cabin. YIPEE! I arrived and enjoyed an afternoon sitting in the screened in porch reading and alone. The Hubby would arrive in the late afternoon as we had a dinner/birthday party to go to. The dinner was great fun but I was just exhausted and still feeling in the dumps. Saturday morning came and I was up and on the porch again to enjoy journaling and reading. About 10 am I headed to the little girls room and who should join me but Mother Nature. Aw, that explains a lot of my mood swings, depression, crying, and general bitchiness. I have not met the woman since January so it was a complete shock to encounter her but I should have known. I couldn't believe it.

Last night a group of us went on a ride on the pontoon boat that Bare and Sin own and watched the sunset.

It was quite awesome as the water is so high that no one is on the river.
This morning I was up at 7am (slept in a couple of hours) and on the porch to read and journal but the morning was moving fast. I knew the guys from the boat last night were planning on going jug fishing this morning but of the four of them three were a lot drunk and I wasn't sure they would remember the plan. But, at 8am the phone rang and Bare was next door calling all the guys out to play, with bloodshot eyes. So off they have gone fishing on this absolutely beautiful morning. The plan for the girls this afternoon is to take a floating cruise on the pontoon and sunbathe but I'm begging off because I don't thing my body will allow that luxury today. So I will sit in my hammock in my bathing suit and maybe turn the sprinkler on myself occassionaly. It is a beautiful morning with a cool breeze, wonderful sunshine and peace an quiet. Next weekend won't be the case as the families and extended famlies and friends will descend on this most precious real estate and I will want to hide in my cabin. I hate all the hoopla that goes with the 4th, like the concept but hate the bigillion people and noise that comes with it. Here is a short video of my morning so far:

Thursday, June 26, 2008


I'm depressed, I'm sad and just in the dumps this week. I miss my Momma. I miss my best friend. I'm lonely. I feel I'm at the bottom of emotions this week. I don't know what has set me off but probably I have never gotten over the immense loss of the two in a few short months 2 years ago.

Yesterday I tried to get hold of a few people to go to lunch with no luck. My cell phone has not rung all week long except for my daughters. I am lonely for friends. I miss my friends. I miss someone to talk to everyday or so.

Tonight The Hubby and I went out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, The Garlic Rose. {On a side note the group Hanson came in and sat at a table within eye shot.} On our way to the restaurant The Hubby asked what was wrong and I told him, "I'm missing Momma and Gail", but the words were choked. I just couldn't get them out. I was emotionally raw. We talked about it a little at dinner and he seemed understanding. After dinner we decided to run through Utica Square to check out the band and the people. As luck would have it we found a great parking spot and walked over to the band and people area, LOTS of people. It was so very hot I could hardly stand it. I was wearing my jeans and socks and tennis shoes, not the wardrobe for standing in the sun and sweating. Since I had sweat buckets this morning I was not in the mood to sweat again. The Hubby kept hounding me to dance but I was not in the mood. I was not going to dance and shake my bootie in front of all of Tulsa, especially feeling as depressed as I was, AND sweaty. Finally, after standing there for an hour I was able to convince him to leave, but he was giving me crap for not dancing. He said he thought dancing might be the perfect remedy for my depression. WHAT! Really. I don't think so. I know he loves dancing but I don't. He said that making my husband happy might be a nice thing to do and I told him that I was going to concentrate on making ME happy first. It pissed him off but I don't care. It is NOT about him. It is about me for once. I'm tired of knuckling under what The Hubby wants. It is my turn to be happy and dancing is not going to cut it. Dancing...Bah humbag!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I think I'll take the compliment!

I took the day off, yes I took the whole day off today. I first ventured to the gardens, as we once called them. The gardens are the fresh produce markets, well, not so fresh and homegrown anymore. When I was a kid we went to the gardens to help my Momma and Granny pick things like green beans, tomatoes and cucumbers. There was a favorite place called Boggs that was the best. The ones now are just not that great anymore and ship in more than they grow. I should have just stayed closer to my own grocery store to get fresh vegetables as I was very disappointed by the long trip. It was also very sad for me as I had not been since Momma was alive and it just brought me down.

I called a few friends to see if they wanted to have lunch but I got hold of NO ONE! Another sad time. I'm lonely. So I decided to stop in at Windsor Market, a decorating and (some) antiques store where my brother-in-law has a booth. I found a few things to buy and then decided to call my mother-in-law and see if she was home. I had not been to her new apartment since she moved in and wanted to see her place so I visited and then took myself to lunch.

Now comes the fun. I went to the store and while walking the aisles I notice the new Bud Light Lime...YUMMMMYYYY!!! I put some in my cart and finished shopping and went to check out. This WONDERFUL check out lady started giggling and told me she needed to see my ID. What...I stood there for a minute and she just kept standing there smiling at me and said it again. Well, okay. She said I had such a youthful face she needed to see it. I pulled it out and showed it to her and her eyes bugged out and she said we were the same age and that I looked wonderful and young. I told her thank you and she again said I looked so young. I really don't know if she was kidding or just being a very nice lady but I think I'll take this compliment after a downer day.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

My To Do List

My to do list for today:
· Eat lunch (check)
· Clean out refrigerator (check)
· Clean out Pantry (check)
· Put away laundry
· Clean out guest closet
· Clean out my closet (shift summer/winter to guest closet)
· Clean out “my” room closet

OK the first three I accomplished today and I will probably get to the laundry later on tonight. The last three will take me a lot more time probably a day for each, whenever I find the time.

There was a little hitch in the cleaning out the fridge. The stupid thing is two years old and if you leave the door open for 10 minutes it shuts off and has to, well, re-boot itself and as of three hours later it has yet to do that. I’m ticked off but I thought I had better leave it alone and let it do its thing. The pantry took me about 3 hours to get all of it out and then re-stocked. I threw away four bags of trash and old, very old cake mixes and hard as a rock brown sugar. It looked as if I cornered the market on sugar and flour. The pantry was loaded down with 20 pounds of sugar and 20 pounds of flour that I bought in anticipation of baking for Christmas (we don’t even eat sugar here.) Well, since we were out of power for what 13 days just before Christmas there was no baking except fruitcake one night.

Today is also my baby’s 23rd birthday. Yes, 23 years ago today I was in labor. Not a long one really, 9 hours from the first contraction started. She had a rough few minutes start because the cord was wrapped around her throat and she was not breathing, a blue baby. But within seconds there was a cry and we knew all was well. She is a beautiful, beautiful talented girl who has a heart of gold. Happy Birthday A…I love you dearly…Love Momma

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Saturday and Sunshine

It is 9:32 am Saturday morning and I am sitting in my favorite chair in town. We didn't go to the lake/cabin as B had a girls weekend at our place. The sunshine is just streaming through the dirty windows of my room but will I clean them, I don't think so. It is quiet except for my fingers tapping away here on the keyboard. I've got my I-Tunes up listening to some relaxing spa music but I can also hear the washer chug-chugging along with my clothes and Neo the canary is trying to outdo the sounds of a household. The Hubby had to take a drive to the cabin as there is a board meeting up there this morning but he will be back for the birthday for our great-niece this afternoon.

This has been a fairly easy week with not much happening. The MIL finally is settling down in her new digs and unpacking boxes. The service that is running her estate sale at the house has been hard at it with today the last day of the sale. The Hubby said that it has been going well and thinks nearly all of the leftover stuff will be gone. The realtor called The Hubby yesterday and said there was a really, really good nibble on the house and so he's milking it and hopefully there will be a contract in a few days. It is about time. The house has sat on the market since October 2007. It really is a great house but she put it on the market at the wrong time and then the ice storm, then the rains, then the economy. It was really just bad timing but it will sell, eventually. The Hubby has been over there many, many nights and days trying to fix different things and he is just exhausted. The middle bro has been there too helping her with the move, he's a designer, that was his expertise. I helped with the packing and the move. The oldest bro and his wife have not even peeked their little eyelids into the whole operation. Oh I will not start there.

Tomorrow will be my little girls birthday. Twenty-three years ago I was approaching the birth of a most beautiful girl, A. I am very proud of her and miss her terribly as she lives in California. She is making her way in life and that is what you raise them to do. When I had my children I just knew from the start that I was raising them to leave home. I had to make sure to teach them about life and ALL the little things in it, but that is a lot of stuff and a lot can be missed. I knew that I/we needed to teach them to be self-sufficient and pioneers in their own lives. Both of my girls can manage quite will on their own. A struggles a little more than B but there is 6 years difference between them. The thing I really missed out with is a little more about managing money and what all of it entails. I realized yesterday that A is getting paid like contract labor and warned her that she needed to put money back to pay her income taxes. That is just one of those gliches you find out about and don't really think about. I'm just glad I'm here for consulting for my girls. That is what my parents and grandparents were there for and it was wonderful.

Gosh I miss my Mommma. When my girls were little I would pack them up in the car early in the morning on Saturdays and we would spend the entire day at Momma and Daddy's. We would sometimes spend the day in their wonderful back yard where Daddy had set up a swing set or play in the kiddie pool or hose. We would garden in their large garden where my kids got to learn why a snapdragon was called a snapdragon or pull carrots, dig potatoes, or pick red ripe tomatoes. Sometimes we would make a trip to the greenhouse to find the new plant for the season to or go to the gardens for fresh produce. We would get bushels of green beans or corn and go back to the house to process all of it. I learned to can green beans (wouldn't do it by myself today) or blanch corn and cut it off the ear in anticipation of the coming Thanksgiving and fresh creamed corn. We cooked, napped, laughed, and my girls got to know the absolute joy of their grandparents. My grandmother was still alive too and the girls would take turns staying the night with her, mostly B as she was older. Grandparents are awesome. I miss those days. It was a rich upbringing for my girls and for me.

I had that kind of experience when I was little going to my Greatgranny's. There are pictures on the side of my blog of the house and outhouse. They did not have a working bathroom till I was a senior in high school. In the summers the bath was taken at the creek in ice cold water. Food was an interesting array of garden fresh vegetables and a variety of meats that consisted of squirrel, venison, rabbit or fish. Sometime I will write more of those experiences here as I could make this entry go on forever. Keep reading

Friday, June 20, 2008

Daytime Emmy's

Okay, okay...I'm a fan and I can't help it. I am watching the Daytime Emmy's right now and one of my very favorite actors just WON! My favorite soap opera's are As The World Turns and Guiding Light but I don't get to watch often anymore. I remember my mother watching both of these shows when I was about 4 years old so I'm a long time fan. Anyway, my favorite actor on Guiding Light was Tom Pelphrey. He is no longer on the show but occasionally he pops back on for a few days and I will tape them. He is a magnificent actor and on the left side of my blog is a clip of the most powerful scenes he was in when his wife died on the show. You can get to the end of the clip to see the most powerful scene, but WOW. Every time I see it I am moved. I guess you would have to see the whole maturation of the character of Jonathan he played to truly understand the power of his performance. It was absolutely incredible. He played a bad boy which is probably the attraction, who knows. I hope you take a look.

I Just Witnessed

I just witnessed a nasty, nasty wreck in midtown. I was sitting behind a large SUV waiting to turn left. Another smaller car like a Avalon or such was facing the SUV wanting to turn his left. I saw the smaller car begin to try to inch to turn left and so I instinctively looked in my rear view mirror and saw a Tahoe or Suburban hauling ass on the right side lane. I started yelling, "NO, NO, NO!" and waved my hands but there was nothing that could be done. The impact was massive and it spun the smaller car completely around and when it stopped all kinds of fluids were running out of the car and the whole front was smashed. A man from a side street ran quickly to the smaller car and opened the door. An elderly man was sitting there dazed and the airbag was deployed. I looked to my right and the Tahoe/Suburban had been hurled into a yard where it had smashed into a small tree and then a house. I drove on through because there were tons of people jumping out of cars at that time that could help. In the other car the driver was sitting in the seat with the airbag deployed and was obviously unconscious to the point I could not tell if it was a man or a woman as the head was back. I was terribly shaken and called The Hubby to tell him to not go that way home and he yelled that someone should have stayed to tell the police what had happened. I felt that was directed towards me. There were lots of other cars/people there that had witnessed the accident and I didn't see the need to stay and back up more traffic. I was torn about what to do but I didn't need The Hubby yelling. Maybe I should have stayed but I just didn't know. That is one of the first accidents I have ever witnessed. Was I bad for not jumping out and assisting? Was it my duty as a bystander to get involved? Granted I was a witness but there were other people. Now I feel horrible for not staying. I just don't know what was right. My philosophy is to move the traffic on. Too many people can muck up things, rubber-necking and all but I was a witness. I just don't know. I told The Hubby that even if the Tahoe was not speeding it was going to be a nasty wreck because it was just inevitable by the way the scenario was laid out. Not good. The moral of this is NEVER, EVER, if you are in that situation turn if you are the smaller car, it can never be good, just wait.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Typical Day

My typical day actually started last night about 11:30 pm. I had dosed off to sleep about 10:15 just after the weather forcast. The Hubby had fallen asleep on the couch again and that is where I left him. Usually I turn off my cell phone but I was very rudely awakened with the little sing-song I have for A in Californina and mind you there is a 2 hour time difference, so it was about 9:15 there. I jumped out of bed and grabbed the TV control and tried to mess with the TV which was off and then realized that it was my phone. The Hubby gets very much in a terrible, hateful mood if the phone rings after 9 pm so I was worried he would come flying in the bedroom to growl about people not knowing what time it was. I was spared his rampage as it was the cell phone and he didn't hear it. A was crying but I was not awake enough to show much concern. The conversations I am now having with my children really surprise me. She was upset that she might have a...wait for it...hemorroid and her stomach was upset. This child has always had problems with those bodily functions so this was not a new subject for us. I told her she probably needed to see a doctor. She freaked and said, "RIGHT NOW." I told her to calm down and that it could wait at least until tomorrow. I wasn't really a sympathic listener to her plight, especially from so far away in the middle of the night. I calmed her down and she said good night quickly. Then I thankfully trudged back to my comfy bed and lay there tossing and turning for two hours. I couldn't go back to sleep. Crap!

I had to get up as usual for Jazzercise and another personal training session so I've had about 4 hours sleep. YAAWWWN. I did make it to both workouts. In between the workouts I came home for breakfast and to put on a pot of beans in the crockpot, but just before I left for the personal trainer I realized the stupid crockpot was not on. I tried another outlet but dummy me didn't change walls, a breaker was tripped. I just thought after PT I would go to Target and get a new crockpot. It's pretty cool with three different size crocks, 2 quart, 4 quart and a 6 quart. I like it bunches. I went home and transfered the beans that had been soaking for a couple of hours and took my shower and readied for the day.

Finally to the office while B headed out for lunch with her former co-workers and friends. I knew she would not be back till about 1:30 so I settled. I had to leave about 1:30 myself to get my teeth cleaned and run to the post office. A few phone calls, took a credit card payment and played on the Internet. Yup, a typical day for me.

Oh I almost forgot the snipe B took at me. I went home after the dentist as I didn't have anything to do at the office and settled into my nice chair and began to doze. The cell phone rang "Ice, Ice, Baby" and I knew it was either The Hubby or B, it was the latter. It was just a phone message question and then we chit-chatted a bit. I told her about these neat new massaging chair at the dentist and she sniped, "I told you that already. You don't ever listen to me." First of all I told her I don't remember and then tried to explain but she said it again rather hateful. You know what I would have never talked to my mother the way she snaps at me. NEVER! She is 28 years old and I'm tired of our relationship not moving out of the mother and and teenager stage. She still acts like she is 16 and frankly I'm tired of it. I'm still on the stupid list.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Readers where are they

You know I feel as if I'm writing to myself here and in a sense I am but I would like a little audience here. It seems like no one EVER visits my blog except a good friend and a VERY occasional stranger. I've tried visiting and commenting on others blogs. I read over 30 blogs, not always commenting on them but I do read. I just don't get it. Does my writing or my life not appeal to others or am I just not marketing myself that well? I am really a novice to this stuff as far as computer-eaze goes but I've learned by trial and error. I guess I'm not that new as I've been blogging since about 2006. I just don't know where to go. I tried to sign up on BlogHer and I have so much trouble getting that blasted site to keep my info updated. I spent an entire hour last night (and that's not the first time) trying to get my info on there and just became frustrated and quit. I've read on Blogger about how to sign up with blog directories and I've done a few but still I sit and the tally marks of visitors keep adding up but they are mostly my own looking at my blog as I like to look at my pictures. It's a comfortable place for me to visit and I don't know why it isn't for others. Oh well, I will just continue to blog here and one of these YEARS maybe someone will find me and visit.

I've been in a fog for several, several days now and I can't quite explain what is going on with me. I think, think I've blogged about possibly being visited by Mother Nature after 6 months of nothing and that being the culprit. It could also be the unending rain that is plaguing this area and most of the Midwest now. I remember when I was about 14 years old when there was a June where it rained and stormed almost the entire month so I guess we were due for the torrential rains, but two years in a row I'm about done. Last week I didn't work out much as I felt terrible and today I was very low key at Jazzercise and the personal trainer, Wade commented how low my energy level was today. In fact, my knees and ankles are bothering me which is probably from the moisture and mugginess that has been ongoing.

Yesterday we spent Father's Day at my Bro and Sis-in-law's. The Sis and her hubby brought baby-back ribs and smoked chicken and I did the salad. It was very nice but my Daddy being Daddy he gets restless and can't stay much past the eats. At least he came outside and sat with us for a bit while we enjoyed the pool but he just had to hit the road and go home to sit in his chair and vegetate. I used to think it was Momma that was antsy to get home but you know it was both of them. He just gets fidgety and has to move on. The minute he got there he started in on his hearing aids not working, like he needed an excuse to leave. Bro and his wife invite him all the time to eat with them but he says he can't hear in their living room so he won't come over but in large groups. I think yesterday we all agreed that Daddy's social skills are a little lacking and he feels uncomfortable around everybody. You know he is only 72 years old (73 in August) and you would think he is in his 90's the way he crips around and complains that his mind doesn't work and on and on and on, but the man does two crosswords and two cryto-quotes every morning. He has a computer and he loves to play bridge, solitaire, hearts, spades etc all the time. He has his mind and he is able to mow the yard (on a riding one) several times a week, garden, weed, and all that kind of stuff. When we three kids get around or he gets lonely he is a "helpless" old man and I just hate that. He needs to get plugged into the community and have a good time instead of relying on us to keep him company. We have our own very busy lives and he is very capable of finding his own entertainment. Now don't get me wrong, I DEARLY love my Daddy and will be there to take care of him but when he is able I just don't get it. It's a little frustrating. The Hubby's Momma will be 81 in September and at B & B's wedding she was swing dancing. She is a lady on the move, got her mind and is quite elegant. She doesn't sit around feeling sorry for herself or mourning over her man endlessly. Well, that's a lie, she has had some moments but she doesn't sit around long. Daddy still goes to the grave and cries and talks to Momma. I feel that that is not them and I never visit. When he was drinking he would visit his parents and brother and come by my house a crying drunk. I just don't have the tolerance for any of it anymore. I've given to him, The Hubby, my kids, my community and I'm DONE! It is for me now and I'm not going to give into it. YES, I'm selfish now but I've earned it over the years, besides Sis said if he needed to live with someone he could live with her. More power to her. She's the baby of the family and she has taken upon herself to be his babysitter. You go girl. Don't let me stop you.

Sorry for the ranting but I'm just in that kind of mood today. Dark and dreary.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

So Proud

This is a pic that B sent to The Hubby for Father's Day. A wife can be just so proud of her little boy...uh I mean Hubby.

Another weekend gone

Well today is Father's Day and we came back early from the cabin to spend it with my family, my father. We went to the cabin Friday evening and had a nice visit with the neighbors and shared a beer and glass of wine. There were not a lot of people there so it was fairly quiet. We had planned on coming back last night but The Hubby had spent all day long putting in the lights on the neighbors new deck and he was just exhausted so YIPEE we stayed. It was one of the most perfect evenings. The temperature was just perfect and we enjoyed most of the evening outdoors on the new deck (not quite finished). Harri fixed roast, corn on the cob, mixed veggies and french bread and I washed it down with a few Bud Light Lime beers...very yum. Then Harri decided she wanted to go on a golf cart ride before the sun set so off we went, her with her glass of wine and me with a glass of Pama (pomegranete liquor-more very yum.) We drove every road, gravel and paved looking for where there might be a party but it was pretty quiet. We watched the firefly's buzzing around in the meadow, watched some people playing a little golf on our 4 holes and hoped to see a deer or two. As the darkness crept up and we were driving on a road by Mud Flats a little creature ran in front of us. At first I thought it was a tiny deer but my mind immediately knew what it was. It was a tiny fox, very young. It was just darling as it stopped by some steps of a cabin and just sat and watched us watch it. Very sweet.

This weekend I really got into my book "The Book Thief" and yesterday as I sat on the porch and read it I was taken with warm thoughts of my Momma. Momma was an avid reader. She loved and I mean LOVED books and she instilled in my brother, sister and I the love of reading. We all three can not get enough reading done. She used to go to the library and check out 5 or 6 books every two weeks and would inhale them. Well, this book I'm reading is about a little girl in Nazi Germany and one of the parts of the book is her love of books and reading and as I was reading yesterday I thought, "I will never read the words that my mother has run her eyes over again." I know it is a weird thought but we shared books and would discuss them over and over again and I just had that strange thought that my eyes and hers would never touch that kind of sight again. I know weird but I miss her and our talks and closeness and sharing of life.

Monday, June 09, 2008

I'm fixin' to let loose!

I am fixin' to let loose on The Hubby. I did not go to work out this morning as it was raining buckets and my little car would float away. I decided to stay home from the office today and just enjoy the rain and clean out some drawers and closets. I was having a nice time just spending time alone, by myself, talking to myself and enjoying the absolute quiet here and besides B is fielding the phone calls and stuff at the office. On top of all of this I have a feeling that Mother Nature is trying to rear her very ugly head as I feel just icky today. Hopefully it will pass as I haven't seen her since January. Anyway, I was minding my own business just puttering around when I heard the garage door open. DAMN! I should have known better than to think he would not want to find out what I was up too. He starts in on me about not coming into the office and whether B can do some of the invoicing. I told him she could, that it could even wait till tomorrow when I am in in the morning. He didn't hear that part. He heard that I would be at a funeral tomorrow of a high school friend and then visit my daddy and then out to dinner with my aunt, he didn't hear that I would be in in the morning. He went off on me about invoicing. I went off about him waiting sometimes for weeks to get it ready for me to type it could wait one day. I told him not to do this today. The day I decide to not be there on purpose and he gets his panties all in a twist that I am not at his beck and call. Crap, I get so mad at him for this. There can be days, and I mean days where I sit in that office with absolutely nothing to do and the ONE day I take off is the day when the world, his world is coming to an end. I think he is relying on me way too much here. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Rain, Rain, Rain

The rain started about 11:30 last night and continued its onslaught all night long. It was rather pleasant listening to it fall on the roof while we slept. This morning when the alarm went off to wake us for workout I just rolled over. I knew with all the rain and street flooding that I was not about to test my little car in the rushing waters. So I nuzzled down in the covers and continued to sleep, or at least tried to sleep. I knew this was a dangerous move on my part but I couldn't help it, besides my calves are killing me today after Saturday night of dancing. Then at 7 am I realized I needed to get up for the personal trainer but the rain was continuing to dance on the roof and I was just not in the mood to do it, so I called and begged off. I know that was bad but sometimes you just need a break. I might go to the office but you know what, with B there I don't need to. I think I'll stay here and do my crossword, Sudoku and read. I might do a little laundry and try to clean out a closet, might.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

The Party

It was a blast. We danced for a solid 3 hours in the living room and I actually did the running man. If you only knew how much I have wanted to dance like I danced last night and with 22 pounds gone and the working out that I do I was the queen bee on the dance floor last night. In fact one of my friends told me I was so smooth on the dance floor and that I was better than the dancers on "So You Think You Can Dance". What a great compliment and I could let it go to my head but I am a realist. I told The Hubby later from watching the show that those kind of compliments for people who are a little bad in the dance department, well you know, can make them think they are the greatest dancers on the earth, I'm NOT. Sin & Bare and Harri and Jimbo did all the food last night with fried Basa fish, fried chicken, french fries and salad. The wine was plenty. Surprisingly I don't have a headache but my feet and legs are a little sore. Pictures will explain the fun we all had.

Now this is a party.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Birthday Party

It is Saturday and I may be a widow by the day’s end if he doesn’t STOP IT! He is driving me crazy. Tonight is the big birthday party for ME at the cabin and he is doing his usual obsessive compulsive crap he does when he knows people are coming. It is early and I want to enjoy the peace and quiet but he is not letting me at all. He got up, had his breakfast and then came out on the porch and started talking about sweeping the porch, mopping the porch, cleaning some in the house, etc. I just don’t get all whacked out when company is coming although I am going to do some stuff because world renowned interior designer CF is coming and being a world renowned interior designer I really want to make an impression with him as far as our cabin goes. I know it is not his usual Country French, it is Country The Hubby and I love it. I am excited about the party tonight but I want to enjoy myself a little today and not have the anxiety his mustering up today.

Last night we went on a boat cruise on Bare & Sin's pontoon boat with Jimbo & Harri and G&G. Harri fixed sloppy joes that we took to eat while watching the sun go down. I made some CD’s for Bare and Sin and we listened to them and danced and sang our little hearts out. It was great fun. I really was not sure I would enjoy myself as I’m not a boat person but it was fun. I don’t want to go if there are tons of people on the boat but it was a perfect number of us.
(Oh man, The Hubby is now cleaning the little man that sits on our wall. He has a scrub brush and is washing him…hey wait I think that the scrub brush is the kitchen brush from my sink. HE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY. )

Luckily Harri called and wanted me to go to town to the store and I rushed out. It was nice to get away from the hustle and bustle that is known as The Hubby. Right now I'm sitting on a rock wall in between Harri's and our cabin tapping into G's Internet connection to blog here. Again I had to get away from The Hubby. We just had loud words about the music that will be playing tonight. He is DEAD set on having his "dance" music played and I don't necessarily like his "dance" music and it is my party after all. I gave up. Let him have it I want no stress and that is all. I think I'll munch on something and then make my way to the hammock and a little nap before our T-town friends arrive early. I will still need a shower and cleanup for the big bash tonight. They will just have to wait around for me to get dolled up.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

A Gathering

Birthday & Cheesecake

Today is my birthday. Yes I'm going to shout it out to the heavens. TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!! I went to workout, then to work, then to my facial and massage and I've just finished eating Taco Bell. I haven't had that in over a year and I decided that today I would enjoy! Now it is time to clean the house a little, wash my hair (all the oil from the massage), go to the store and then PARTY TIME. Already I've received several email messages from friends and family and a flower arrangement. The Jazz girls had muffins, coffee and fruit after workout and of course a few gifts. It is already going to be a good day...oh wait, except I've already pissed off B today.

She is coming tonight and she just called to let me know that she told her best friend about it and invited her to join us. That is OK 'cause I like Rachel but then she asks if she can bring Mondo, the granddog. "NO", I say. She is mad and says he is much better and would be good. I insist and more emphatically, " NO." We said our goodbyes but she is really angry at me. I really like the guy but it is MY party, my friends/guests and we don't need a huge dog roaming in between our legs slapping us with his massive tail with joy. We just want to drink, eat and be merry, not clean up dog hair and spills. Am I wrong?


Here's you some cheesecake...:)

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

The Move

D-Day...Today the MIL moved and I was in attendance. I had my two workouts then hurridly I arrived at her house about 8:45. The movers were not there yet but were expected between 8:30 and 9 am. Finally, about 9:10 they pulled up and it was on. The #2 son showed up about 5 minutes later and I was glad he was there for the help. It began as a whirlwind of movement with dollies and moving men wanting guidance. Up until last night there was a room that had not been packed up so #2 son was there until 7 pm Monday evening doing it for her. We coordinated the whole orchestra of people and by noon we were on our way to her new digs. Montereau provided lunch for us which consisted of a slab of meat on two thin pieces of bread, a tomato slice, lettuce, some weird chips, and bottled water. I was raveneous after the workouts and moving but it filled the void in my stomach. We spent the rest of the afternoon, after the movers left trying to get her bedroom together so she could sleep. She has one of those beds that has individual controls and goes up and down, well, that posed a problem with the new bedskirt. She spent the past week spliting the new one down the middle and then hemming it so that when one side of the bed goes up the other side will not lift up, but they (the MIL and #2 son) forgot the bar at the end that keeps the mattress from sliding off when the bed is raised. So we spend the next hour getting the skirt on the bed, pinned so it would not slide off and then cutting slits in the skirt so when we unscrewed the bars we could poke them through the skirt fabric then reattach and THEN we could finally make the bed. ARGHHHHHHH!!!!! My aching feet, back and mind. And to top off the day I got another call from the other DIL. She called last Friday to make sure someone would be there for the MIL for the move. She and #1 son don't live here. I was ticked off by her slighted accuisation that no one would be there as we've been there the whole time. Well today she called my cell phone and asked where I was at. "Well," I told her, "I'm at G's for the move." She said she was just checking to make sure. Again I was pissed. Then I find out tonight that she and #1 son were actually in town today passing through on the way to some teaching thing he does. They did not make an appearance for the move at all and I found out that they were at their lake place on Memorial Day weekend. This seems innocent enough but they HAVE to go through here on the way and they spent the weekend there playing with the grandkids and still on the way home did not stop by to help. Why can't they help. Why is up to The Hubby, #2 son and me to handle all of this. It just gets me so very angry and with the phone calls on top of it all.

Finally, home about 6pm I rushed to the shower and knew I was going to make The Hubby take me out to In The Raw for an early birthday dinner as I'm having tons of girls here at the house to celebrate tomorrow night. The Hubby finally came home and I told him let's go eat. We jumped into my little red ride and pulled out of the garage. "Stop", he says. Well, crap, I had a nail in my tire. We sat in the driveway for 45 minutes while he repaired my tire, hopefully. The time waiting his cell phone rang two times with emergency service calls and even now, after dinner he is out working a service call. It has been this way for two solid days for him since the storms this past weekend. Really, being an electrician sometimes is neverending work and service calls. I can't wait till the weekend so we can get away from the office and celebrate my birthday AGAIN!

Monday, June 02, 2008

Another Monday

It is another Monday as usual. The same stuff, workout, coffee, shower then work. But today I've changed it up a bit with meeting the Jazz girls for coffee in between workouts. I am also meeting me friend C for lunch. She's treating me since Wednesday is my BIRTHDAY. Yup, another year older, not sure how I feel about that but there is no stopping the clock from ticking. Tick tock, tick tock...

We finally got power back last night about 10 pm. It really wasn't a problem for us as we have a generator but some I hear will be out till about Wednesday. Thank goodness for the generator.

This next weekend I'm throwing myself a huge birthday bash at the cabin. Since I was not able to have a 50th I'm doing it now, two years later. It should be fun and I may just get drunk. I plan on laughing and dancing a lot to celebrate. This week though should be a whirlwind as today is lunch with C and work. Tuesday the MIL is finally moving so that will be an all day thing. Wednesday is my facial and massage and that's half the day, the other half of the day is preparing on having a Jazzy girls birthday party for ME at my house. Thursday is my hair appointment and that takes about 3 hours. Then Friday is payroll and gather up all I need for the party at the lake. Somewhere in there I have to squeeze in a little work. Pay bills, do invoicing, payroll, just stuff at the office. So I guess I had better get off this stupid computer and get busy.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Thunder, Thunder and more Thunder

Sunday and the sky's are gray again. I guess there was a reason we didn’t go to the cabin this weekend because it has been crappy weather most of the weekend. Yesterday I went to the MIL’s to see how the work on the front porch was going. The Hubby has been trying to spruce it up by pulling up the glued down indoor-outdoor green carpet she had put down. It was so ugly. He had put down a concrete overlay then stained it and it looked really good but because he wasn’t able to get all the glue up the overlay buckled in places. So he has gone over and cleaned it up again, and where it came up he filed down the sides and it looks like you meant to leave it in chunks, and re-stained where it had buckled after getting rid of the broken concrete. It has been a real ordeal and mess. Today he is supposed to go over and wash off the first layer of stain and re-apply another but the weather is not cooperating and she has an open house at one. Hopefully this weather will blow over sometime today. I went over yesterday and The Hubby was covered in concrete dust and inside the BIL and his partner and the MIL were busy doing more packing so I rolled up my sleeves and joined in. That was about 2:30. I didn’t leave until 6:30 and had to go to the store for steaks for dinner. This whole move thing has been so difficult for the MIL. She is the one that has instigated it but she is so dragging her feet. The movers come on Tuesday at 8:30 and she had better get ready. She still had a built-in cabinet that was filled with glassware, cookbooks and “stuff” that she had not even touched. I put myself to that task yesterday and finished it all. When I asked her for some sheets or bedding that she would be taking with her for use in packing the glassware she went to the hall linen closet and opened it. This is a huge closet that she had not even touched. So she began that and when we used some of the sheets she yelled at the BIL’s partner E not to scrunch it up. This is a lady that irons her sheets and pillow cases. She walked away and E and I just rolled our eyes. I love her to death but it is crunch time and she has not got the luxury of be that picky. I know she is freaked that once all these boxes get there she will have to unload them but I told her I would be there, in fact we all will be, except for the SIL and the other brother that have not EVEN showed up to help one iota. We have done it all. (I won’t start on them here.) We still have the shed that she has stuffed full of junk and all the yard knick-knacks that she is freaked out about taking or giving to one of us. She has a great yard but full of, well just full. I got custody of a paper sack of recipes that she has collected, some since 1956. These were torn out of magazines and newspapers and tossed in were recipe cards, some with MY name one them. I also got a huge box bulging and tied with a ribbon with the oldest ones. I sat here last night an sorted through all of them and ended up with about 45 recipe cards and a basket of handwritten on various kinds of paper and very old from newspapers clippings. I just couldn’t throw some of them away. By the time I was through with them all my nose was so stuffed up from dust and disintegration of the newspapers I could barely breathe.
There were times when she was almost in tears yesterday with all that was going on. When we started going through the cookbooks she was beside herself with not being able to choose what to keep and sell. We’re to the point of just packing all of the rest of it and see if it fits (it won’t) in her new place then bring back what she doesn’t want for the estate sale. That means we will be moving stuff twice. She has a HUGE sectional couch that she is INSISTING she take, that it will fit but the BIL is a designer and has done measurements and “it won’t fit”. This week will be a trial for sure. Thank goodness I will have Wednesday, my birthday. I will have a facial and massage and the house full of girlfriends to celebrate.