Wow, This Grief Thing

Wow, oh wow.  Today I had to head to the office for a short bit, then the post office, bank, and studio.  Also on the agenda was a trip to pickup groceries and then to Daddy's house.  

The drive down the expressway for some reason I had this grief thing whack me upside the head and I caught myself in tears again.  Don't know where that came from but I'm sure I was running through stuff in my head and realized I was heading to a nearly empty house again.

All these wonderful things that we gave him in his house, the remodel we did a few years ago are gone, he is gone.  That life is gone.

Oh we three kids have taken a few things but the majority of the stuff in the house is gone now.  Salvation Army came yesterday and all the bags of clothing, boxes of kitchen stuff is gone

Now we are left with a lot of dust bunnies, scraps of paper, and the few odd stuff that the SA didn't, wouldn't take.  The couch and one of his chairs are still there because sweet Susie tore them up with her claws.  The garage is full of JUNK and just greasy stuff.  The bedrooms have mattresses and more dust.  We have ordered a dumpster and it will arrive tomorrow and my nephew and his friend will haul off the rest of the stuff that is trash.  He's also going to vacuum, clean, and generally spruce the place up.  He will even clean a wall that has some marks and repaint.  I love this kid.  He has been so helpful and we will pay them for their efforts.  I've even painted his dog and cat with another cat to go for him.  

What we will be left with are memories, good and bad.  We will put the house on the market by the first of next month and it will be gone shortly after.  Life moves on and I have no regrets about what we are doing.  It will just take time to get over the grief of not having a parent anymore, none.  That is kind a scary place to be, you kind of feel lost and flapping in the wind a bit.  I know it will get better, it already has.  You have to move on, move forward with your life, you children, your grandchildren.  Bye Daddy, Bye house, we love you forever.

 

Sleep, Elusive Yet Again

OH MY GOSH....sleep was so illusive last night.  I have so much on my mind and it didn't help that I watched a most wonderful film on PBS called "Blood Brother".  I just happened on it as I channel surfed and could not stop watching.  It's a program called IndependentLens on PBS.  I can't seem to find when it will run again but you must, MUST watch it.  It's about two friends, one a film maker and another, Rocky.  Rocky is kind of a lost soul but travels to India where he signs up to work at an AIDS hostel where children live who have AIDS.  It was sad, inspiring, beautiful, sweet, made me cry and drop my jaw.  Of course it is an award winning film and rightfully so.  What can I say, watching this film did little to help me sleep.  

I tossed and turned and dreamed and then would wake up and think about the film, then the HUGE art project I am to begin today.  That has got me a bit freaked out.  Then I had kind of a bit of a scary dream that I got a phone call from some lady that works for a trash service and she had my Daddy in her office way north of Tulsa sitting because his car was broken down and he was confused.  Okay, THAT freaked me out and then I started worrying about Daddy and today I will call him.  I didn't go see him yesterday or the weekend and I guess I feel guilty but hopefully I do have a brother and sis that check on him.!?

So, yes I am up, EARLY, as I have to go to the office and get a bit of work done before I go to art class to start said project.  I am concerned that it will be in the way in our art class but I need to do it there for the tutoring help that Ross can give me as this is the BIGGEST thing I have ever done.  NERVOUS!!!!!

Ring Around The Insurance/Doctor Hell

Last week Daddy called me a little after I had left from one of my usual visits.  He was very upset because he had received a phone call from a collection agency.  WHAT!!!!!  That was not good.  Daddy pays his bills the minute they hit his doorway and I do too, and since I am in charge of his finances right now we both were very confused.  It was a medical claim.  First of all we are confused because Daddy has good regular insurance and Medicare which most generally covers everything except for an occasional deductible.  We also have had his mail forwarded to my house until September because he can't walk to his mailbox, and I'm paying his bills, what few of them he has.  He said that they had been sending bills and they have been sent back.  They apparently don't forward those bills.  I told him that if they called back to mail them to his name c/o of ME.  Well, on Friday afternoon I received a letter along with a photocopy of the bill.  The letter said he owed over $750 and that the letter was from a medical collection agency.  The bill showed charges and insurance payments with a balance not covered for about $350.  My first question would be where is the extra $400 that they say he owes.  Plus, it is from the hip doctor we have been seeing, one who is in charge, at this moment of Daddy's care.  One who we've seen, been in his office, many times since the charges stated on the statement.  They did not say a word on any of the visits.  Plus, Daddy has been in a hospital, special care hospital and nursing home for about 3 months, which THEY KNEW!  Plus they have his phone number and my phone number which THEY HAVE NOT CALLED, NOT ONE TIME!!!!!  Can you tell I'm pretty pissed right now.  Tomorrow, Monday morning, my phone line is going to be on fire because I am very angry and getting angrier by the minute thinking about it.  Whew, there goes the damned blood pressure.  These doctors or their offices or the insurance companies and whatever else do not talk to one another.  Good grief, I am dealing with a house in complete disarray, picking out tile and colors and general construction mess.  I'm trying to work and keep up with those books, plus my finances and Daddy's finances.  I'm taking his trash out at least once a week, buying his groceries, cleaning his toilet and doing his laundry along with mine.  I'm helping to keep his appointments plus mine, usually shifting mine to accommodate his.  I'm emotionally tired right now and getting to be physically tired. 

Monday, The Day After

I hope everyone had a wonderful Father's Day yesterday.  I went to see Daddy and just hung out with him yesterday.  We chatted and I fixed something on his computer.  I assessed his food in the freezer and decided that a run to the store wasn't necessary until about Wednesday.  I took his trash out and cleaned his toilet.  That was my time with Daddy yesterday.  I feel so bad that he is really stuck in that house.  He sits in his front doorway, with it open, just taking in what fresh air he can.  I have toyed with the idea of a ramp so he could go outside, but he only has a month left before the surgery and I HOPE that he will not need it after.  We take him to the doctor every two weeks and that is a trial in itself, especially since the last ordeal of me dropping him.  I really wish the doctor would get it together and push him up on the surgery list.  This waiting is agonizing for Daddy and us.  I want him mobile again so he can get out and do stuff.  I want to take him to restaurants and to the cabin and fishing.  It's just sad and depressing. 

Last week I did yoga on Monday and Friday really enjoying it.  Today I was going to get up and go but I don't have to leave this house for anything today and that is what I plan on doing.  I don't have to be at work or workout or the store or appointments or anything!  I'm staying put.  If I don't want to get dressed, then I won't.  If I don't want to brush my teeth, then I won't (not really).  I am washing the sheets from the bed because Clayton got sick last night on them.  I am going to blog, read blogs and paint.  Time to myself with no workers and no place to go.  Now that is a Monday. 

The Move

Yesterday they moved Daddy, via ambulance to the nursing home.  We were told that the move would take place at 1 then 4pm.  I came to wait with Daddy after my art class about 3.  We waited and waited and about 6:10 the ambulance arrived.  Daddy didn't eat his dinner because he was so anxious.  I was watching the clock because The Hubby and I were set to take a private dance lesson at 7 to prepare for the gala dance on Saturday night.  I knew The Hubby would be madder than a hornet if I missed the lesson so I was anxious too.  Finally he was on his way to the nursing home where Bro was waiting for his arrival.  We tag-teamed the whole ordeal.  This morning I slept in because doggone it I'm tired, my back hurts and my feet hurt.  Yesterday was a very long day.  Now, today, I need to ready myself to visit Daddy in the nursing home that Momma took her last breath in.  Not real sure how I will handle that but I have to.  So this post is short but informative.  Later all and I promise when all this crap is on the back burner I will get back to more interesting posts. 

A Usual Monday

Last week was rough with the Daddy stuff and today didn't start out much better.  I think I'm not coming out of my bedroom on Monday's anymore.  The week starts bad and just seems to stay bad.  Fortunately, today ended up a bit better.  I'm not sure if I relayed it here but Daddy lost one of his hearing aids last week in the hospital.  Oh man, and the darn things are $3500 each!  He was so angry and was bound and determined to make the hospital pay.  In the middle of the night he took it out when the whistling started as the battery was gone.  He laid it on his table side tray and when he woke the next morning it was gone.  Today I showed up at his room and he was fit to be tied that he hadn't heard anything about his move to the skilled nursing care facility.  We were told it would probably be today but in the end it was not to be.  We now know that because he is on two intravenous antibiotics that most facilities won't take him.  Great.  He is climbing the walls with boredom.  I can't imagine laying in the same bed day after day for a couple of months, and he has his mind.  I could understand if he was senile or not in his right mind but he has his mind in a broken body.  He is so depressed and my heart breaks but it can't be helped.  One bright note happened and I had to call him with the good news, the hearing aid.  No, we didn't find it but I talked to the hospital and yes they will reimburse the loss.  We have to go ahead and buy the new one and bring them the bill and they will pay!  The best part is that he had some loss/prevention thing on it at the hearing aid place and to replace it will be $200!  I had to call him and let him know!  It was awesome and made him have some hope.  If we can get him through the next month and a half he will get his new hip, heal and be HOME! 

Nursing Home?

I woke this morning at the usual 5 am for workout but I think I should have gone back to bed after I stopped the toilet up.  That should have been the first clue that I needed to RUN, run far away from my life.  After my usual 3 miles on the treadmill I was back to get ready for the day.  I had to meet my cousin at Daddy's house so she could clean the dreaded germs away.  I left her doing her thing and then was on the hunt for a skilled nursing facility for Daddy by the end of the week.  If you have never done this for a parent, get ready.  It is a reality for our aging parents and we could soon be there too depending our your age.  The first one had a lot of good stars according to http://www.medicare.gov/ and the fancy little booklet the hospital gave me.  I walked into the doors and the first thing was the smell.  I couldn't put my finger on it but it was a sweet, bleachy smell.  I was struck by the sight of all the wheelchairs and women.  The place was stuffed with women.  The lady giving me the tour said the last male in residence just moved out (not sure what that meant).  All women and all women in wheelchairs...uh...I don't think so.  I left feeling a bit defeated and the cold blowing wind didn't help my mood.  Off to yet another place that was only a couple of years old and from the outside looked nice.  It was nice inside too, as soon as I was able to find the stupid door.  Apparantly, I was trying to get into the wrong door at the front of the building, according to the angry staff that let me in.  Small stumble.  On with the tour and I was much more impressed.  This was place was fairly new, not stuffed.  Come to think of it I only saw ladies there too, hmmmmm.  The halls had a guinea pig in a cage and a very large bird cage filled with parakeets.  Loved that.  The rooms were very nice and the good thing is they probably would have a bed by the end of the week, just in time.  Back to his house to check on the cleaning and then it was off to the hospital to see Daddy.

I walked into his room and the first thing out of Daddy's mouth was that he and "Josh", his re-hab guy had been talking and they think he should come to my house and stay in the guest room.  What!  I had to explain to Daddy that my guest room is my closet right now.  We are in major construction and his moving in is just not possible.  Besides that he will need tons of care and I am gone a lot.   Just not possible.  Then he started talking about have fulltime, live-in care.  He CANNOT afford that.  I know he is getting depressed by this but it can't be helped and it is TEMPORARY.  I don't want to knock him down but it is just not happening.  I felt trapped sitting in my chair, not wanting to face those pleading eyes.  Oh my GOD!  What am I going to do.  It was all I could do to not run from that room and keep running.  He doesn't understand that he has a catheter, IV drip line, and a huge wound in his leg and NO HIP!  Plus he has to have physical therapy, everyday.  I was finally able to leave and walked out trying not to cry as I called my brother.  I needed help and he was there for me.  I have to be strong and as I left I told Daddy, again, that it would be temporary and that it was the only option.  This day is only Monday.  I'm not sure I want to be around the rest of the week but I must do what I must do.  Here's to Tuesday!

Hip, Hip, Hooray

Wednesday I had a physical at the doctors office, blood drawn, step on the scale, EKG, chit-chat, paperwork, blood pressure taken...all the usual stuff.  First of all was the scale, the dreaded scale.  Well, what-da-ya-know, it hadn't budged since the last time I had been there, last fall.  Drat, drat, drat.  All the treadmill work, eating so differently, no fast food and the damn thing was the same.  Some of my clothes are so loose on me and people are really able to see the difference in my face, yet that scale!  Of course the next step, blood pressure, was up.  Figures.  Dr. TL asked if anything was going on.  Ha-Ha-Ha.  Well, here we go...I proceeded to tell him I was of course upset by the scale but he reminded me of the conversation we've had so many times, that I have changed so much in my diet and lifestyle, that muscle weighs more than fat and DON'T WORRY.  Okay, okay.  Then I told him about the stuff going on with Daddy and he said well, that will surely do it.  Then he wanted to do the BP again and we started to talk about my painting, he paints too, well, what-da-ya-know the BP started going down.  Whew.  He did suggest that I get a BP cuff but I really don't want to admit to any of that you know.  We will see how the blood work goes, think my thyroid may need to adjusted.

Friday was to be a day off of work but it certainly was not a day off from life.  I went to visit Daddy and he looked horrible.  He said he had a tummy ache but really it was a bit of constipation and that puts him in a funk.  He has been kind of nasty to the staff because he is bored and does not feel well.  While there the case worker on staff came in to talk to me.  They want to release him April 11.  Okay, then where does he go and she again mentioned him going home.  WHOA...hold on there partner, that is not going to happen.  First of all he has NO HIP and his leg is 5 inches shorter than the other one.  Second is that he is on an IV drip.  She understood pretty quick that he has to go to a skilled nursing care facility.  Really I thought that was where he was now.  So now we are in that world again, like mother.  Shiver, bad memories.  I contacted the siblings and they are quite okay with whatever I decide.  Oh man, I don't want to do this but I guess I'm there, again.  Last night was searches on http://www.medicare.gov/ about nursing facilities close to us and the siblings so we can all visit him often.  Daddy understands that this is a necessary step in his healing even though he wants to go home very bad.  I have to be a bit stern with him, in a nice way about how this is going to have happen and that if he gets more mobile and heals quick then he will get the new hip and be home before you know it.  I can tell you now I am going to REALLY think hard if a doctor EVER wants to replace my hip at this point. 

The Waiting Game

It is 8:15 am and I'm waiting in Daddy's room. I rushed through my cardio this morning only doing 30 minutes but a mile and a half. I wanted to be sure to catch Daddy's doctor. I got here at 7:30 and am waiting. The head nurse came on and we said something about waiting for the doc. She liked up from the IV thingy and said, Oh, he's already been here at 6:30. Well crap. All my rushing for nothing. So we wait till tomorrow and try again. I would like to know what would be the next step in this process. Good thing I get to make the hair appointment instead of canceling. The gray is way outta hand.

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Responsibilties and Parents

  Last week B and I went to one of the Borders that is closing in town and I gravitated to the audio books.  I love listening while I tool around town in my car.  I found this one called Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah.  Not sure why I was drawn to it except the cover art.  I am finding a correlation to my real life as I listen to the thing.  It is about two sisters who have a horrible relationship with their Russian born mother.  The mother, so far, is a very, very cold person and makes it difficult for the girls to relate to her.  Their father, who both girls have a wonderful relationship with is the buffer and glue between them all.  When he dies they are forced to deal with their relationships with the mother.  So far that is just about as far as I have gotten in the book, halfway, but the part I find that identifies with my life is the girls dealing with an aged parent.  The mother is showing signs of dementia, or so they think and is not able to take care of herself, again, or so they think.  This part of the book comes as my siblings and I are facing the health and living problems with my father. 

Tuesday Daddy had yet another minor surgery and they have found that the "infection" has gone clear to the new hip area.  The infection is probably the result of his pneumonia last year.  This probably means more surgery, no driving for a very long time, and his increased dependance on us three.  Daddy actually made the comment about having the feeling of helplessness and dependence.  It has got to be so very scary.  I can't even imagine going from being a big tough guy to totally reliant on others.  He needs us to take him to the doctor, get his meds, his food, his everything.  Plus he lives alone and is incredibly lonely.  I feel so bad for him.  He actually made a statement about thinking about one of those retirement communities.  It made me really contemplate that as an option but I'm not sure if he could afford it.  It would be nice to have him around people.  I think it would help a lot but probably not just yet.  It will probably be an inevitable thing. 

It was weird yesterday but as my brother and I were getting him dressed to go home I too his bicep to help him lift up and pull his pants on and was amazed how strong his arms still are.  Wow, lots of strong muscle.  I think it helps that he is really in very good condition and eats very well.  He's still my very strong Daddy that I used to love to watch. 

Time Tag

Yesterday I picked up the official packet for the race on Saturday.  I didn't realize there would be a time tag that you attach to your shoe.  I will really be official.  So exciting and I'm ready for it.  Last week I logged about 13 miles (99% treadmill) and this week I'm off to a good start.  Yesterday 3 miles and today 2 miles.  Tomorrow will be iffy as I may have to stay the night with Daddy and miss workout, but I will have dance I guess.  Tonight I am supposed to weigh in but that kind of depends on if I have to stay with Daddy.  Since the nephew is in school there will be no one to watch him.  I'm sure he will be okay but not taking chances. 

Raining here so the workers are a no show.  They may show up this afternoon if the rain stops but it is nice an quiet here right now. 

The wood pile is for the sub-floor and the plastic is the vapor barrier.  We are choosing post and beam construction for a crawl space.  The Hubby prefers and the house is 99% crawl.  (The pictures are grainy as I took them through the bathroom window.  It is rainy and muddy out there!)

The Big Thaw

The Big Thaw has begun, but wait it is to only be a brief happening as more is expected today and Tuesday.  The Hubby insisted yesterday that we take the Jeep, my car out and try out the 4WD.  My poor Daddy has been home bound for his hip thing and I was worried about his driveway as the city had plowed right over the entrance.  Last time I checked his home health care nurse could not get to his house because of it.  So off we headed to see him.  Actually the highway was not too bad but the side streets were still in awful shape.  It was weird seeing all the abandoned cars along the roads, with piles of snow on them.  It will be summer before they are able to pull them out.  We arrived at Daddy's and his drive was opened up.  I just talked to him on the phone and said that is why we were coming down.  One of his hearing aids is on the fritz and he probably just heard we were coming.  No problem, he needed the company.  The Hubby got right to work cleaning his sidewalk, front step, and huge icicles off of his eaves around the house.  He also cleared the huge snow drift at his back door so he could open it if an emergency.  The neighbor across the street had already headed for the grocery for some milk so, our work was to visit.  We did go to the liquor store to get his box wine of sangria he loves so much at dinner.  I was to take him to the doctor tomorrow but he had me reschedule, afraid of moving out and about in the stuff. 

One of the main objectives to getting out was to go to Bass Pro Shop for me some tall wader-like boots, like The Hubby's.  My guess would be so that I could help him clear snow!  While moving that direction we caught some of the hills and sledding.  My the kids were having fun and this scene was played out all over the area.  I never thought I would say this, but it looked a bit fun. 

Finally, we got to Bass Pro Shop and after a bite of lunch the great hunt was on for the perfect boot.  My new fashion accessory, what do you think.  Actually, we passed by the women's clothing and I found a few cute things.  Who knew! 

Back to T-Town we were off to the empty-shelved grocery store and the masses of people.  Our neighbors are in their 80's and we had an extensive list for their needs too.  The parking lot was CRAZY!  The Hubby dropped me at the door and I started the big hunt.  He came in after parking and we started to fill our separate lists of stuff.  There were a lot of empty shelves but really it wasn't too awful bad.  People, people, people but you know, everyone was very nice and I think glad to be OUT and about.  At check out The Hubby took the neighbors stuff and I took ours.  Didn't take a lot of time and we were on our way.  Going to the parking lot all of a sudden one of my eyes started having the funny shapes of light, uh oh, migraine!  By the time we made the 7 minute drive home my head was starting to hurt.  Quick, Ibuprofen and caffeine, my granny's recipe for relief! 

Later in the evening the pain has subsided but this morning I'm thinking I have a sinus infection.  It happens every time there is snow and they start the sanding and salt.  I think there is something in the mixture that sets me off.  Crazy.  Netti pot here I come. 

Daddy, Family, Friends and Diet Update

This week has been for me yet today was for Daddy.  Tuesday I got the gray washed out of my hair.  Wednesday my toes and fingernails were made ship-shape.  Today I had a facial and massage.  Yup this week was for me.  I had to run to get him after the facial and massage to drive him back to Tulsa then back home and then me back home.  The doctor said the wound looks good...YUCK... yeah it does...blech...he has a whole in his hip at least 3 inches and as deep as 4 inches...blech!  He has a thing called a wound back attached with a pump that pumps...blech...I got to see them put a new patch on him, taping it to his poor irritated skin.  I felt so bad for him when they messed up and had to pull it off again.  My poor, poor Daddy.  At least it was good news in that it is healing very nicely and there is no sign of any kind of infection.  The surgeon want us to still go back to the hip doctor to let him evaluate.  There is/was a possibility that the hip will have to be taken out for a period of time and replaced but the surgeon did not think that would be necessary but wanted the hip doctor to determine that.  So next Monday it is to the hip doctor and the next week it is back to the surgeon.  Oh my.  Sis had her stress test and she is A-OK and ready to head back to work to the dismay of Sis.  She doesn't want to work anymore but if you're healthy and need the money...well, get back to it.  Still waiting for Bro to have his stress test to make sure he didn't have a heart attack.  Whey, I'm tired.

Also have tried for nearly two weeks to get hold of my dear friend C.  I have left many messages on her cell phone, voice and written and emailed her, nothing.  I was beginning to get a bit worried about her but I finally called her daughter and she said that she has hardly been using her phone, even leaving it at home.  I'm worried about her.  She is sleeping a lot, still in pain from the surgery in what July or so.  Should be on the mend by now I think.  Hey, I'm not a doctor or her but I'm just saying.  Still will worry. 

The diet is going quite well, really.  I've not had much of a problem with it and exercise is great.  I'm kicking it.  This weekend may be a challenge but I shall get through it!  I promise! 

Who Do You Miss

The prompt on NaBloPoMo a few days ago was asking "who do you miss right now."  I don't follow the prompts often but since I'm trying to write every day I thought this one rang my bell.  The question that popped out at me today is this one.  Yesterday I was driving home from the office enjoying my new CD from Mumford and Sons and the fall colors when I started missing my momma and Gail.  Just out of the blue I started to get sad and just not sure why.  I have a feeling, like last year, it is the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.  It was my mother's favorite holiday.  She used to love to gear up with the turkey and dressing and pies and just food.  After four years of writing here I seem to be falling into a fall rut with this issue but I just can't help myself.  I feel lonely.  I am lonely for my momma and my friend Gail.  It's a fact and I'm just going to say it and that will be it.

Happy Birthday

Today is my mother-in-law's 83rd birthday.  She is such an amazing woman and I love here dearly.  When we were thinking of moving a few years ago I even invited her to live with us.  She is now living in a senior community place and has taken it by storm.  She is never home when I call because she is at her choir rehearsal, dinner with friends, exercise class and last week tap class.  What a woman.  Her mother lived to here 90's and her two older sisters and brother are in their 90's.  What genes. 

Happy Birthday Gloria

Note:  My Daddy, 75 years old had to go to the hip doctor yesterday because he has a knot on his new hip area and Sis called to tell me he has an infection.  It has been a year and a half since the replacement but the doctor said that his pneumonia bought last winter has settled in his hip, an infection.  The options right now are that they put him on antibiotics and if that does not help then they will take the hip OUT for a few months.  I see nursing care somewhere in the future but Sis said that he WILL move in with her if it comes down to it.  More power to her.  What is good for Daddy is that he is in very excellent health except for his arthritis.  His blood pressure is fabulous and he has always eaten well. 

Reunion

This past weekend I went to a multi-class reunion from high school, 1970-1979.  I graduated in 1974.  So 35 years or longer since I have seen some of these people.  Don't really count the ones in my class as it turns out I was the only one in the group class picture!  There were two others there with me before the picture but they scooted out to go to the casino, and after the picture two more showed up.  It was weird and the old me would have walked out the door but the new me took the bull by the horns and headed to the front of the room, the stage, and had my picture taken with a smile on my face.  I was painfully shy in school but that is way behind me now. 

Before the reunion I was at Daddy's visiting when the doorbell rang.  Daddy didn't hear it so I went to the door and there was a guy, Daryl, class of 1972.  He used to be in Daddy's Boy Scout troup and I dated him and double-dated with him many a year ago.  It was so good to see Daryl.  He stopped by when he saw my car out front and wanted to tell Daddy what an awesome person he was and scout leader and that the group of guys in the troop were wonderful, that Daddy was a great influence in his life.  AWWWWW...it was so great for Daryl to do that.  We also got to talking about dating and I had to add that I really liked boy scouts too...wink, he said, "yes", that I was such a little cutie running around.  Uh oh, still a small crush?  Oh it was nice and he is a very, very nice guy.  We started talking also about spouses and his was in the car waiting.  Come to find out his wife went to junior high with The Hubby and graduated with our friend Gail (who passed away in '06) and in fact lived across the street from her.  Absolutely a small world.  All in all the day was nice.  Maybe next time more people from my class will show up. 

What Is A Housewife

This is a challenge from the new place I love to go...The Real Housewives of Oklahoma...I have been challenged to write about this subject...

"What Is A Housewife." 

First let us find the definition to that heavily weighted word, housewife according to Wikipedia.  It refers to the housewife as a woman not employed outside the home and manages the home.  That is all well and good.  My mother was a housewife as was my grandmother although they both worked at different times when necessary before children arrived.  I used to threaten The Hubby that when I die I do not want my obituary to read "she was a housewife."  I'm not a housewife.  I promised that I would come back to haunt him!  I work outside the home, sort of.  I work at our office and when the girls were young the office was in the home.  Actually, we are all housewives if you take the definition from Wikipedia to heart, we manage the home too.  We work outside the home and inside the home.  We do it all.  I'm not sure I really like the term, housewife.  I've done it all.  I work.  I've raised two daughters.  I went to college while raising those two girls.  I also worked in our business, still do for nearly 31 years.  I've managed the house and paid the household bills along with the work responsibilities.  Hey, I think I'm tired.  Housewife, I'm not sure I've managed to figure out that term myself.  I've cooked, cleaned, done the laundry.  I've taken the kids to the doc and the pets to the vet.  I've been a nurse and caretaker. I've championed my girls at their school and extra activities.  I've been a chauffeur and WalMart runner at the last minute kind of gal.  I've been ready for the family dinners at our house with a smile on and a killer meal to boot.  I've been the glue for the family, especially the extended family.  I have been the wife, the patient wife who is there for her guy.  His dinner is kept warm for hours and when he walks in the door I'm not mad but caring for his long day.  I am happy to be with him, to sit and watch mindless TV, to talk about his day.  I am there in good and bad.  I am more that a mere housewife, I am woman, hear me roar!  Oops, better get off the high pedestal that I've climbed up on and get back down to earth.  Oh gosh, I don't know if I can define what a housewife is, I just know who I am and I am much, much more that a housewife, like many, many of the women today.  We need to coin a new phrase, don't you think!  I can't even think of one word that would fill that in so housewife I guess I will stay.

Overload

Yes I feel a bit of overload, mentally I think.  This weekend we hightailed it to the cabin for some nice R&R and the annual board meeting of the homeowners association (yuck).  The usual running crowd was on a cruise (I'm jealous) so the social life was very low key.  Friday evening we settled in for a nice sleep after The Hubby took Clayton on a run to wear him out.  Unfortunatly that did work out as well as usual.  Clayton was antsy and just couldn't get comfortable in bed.  I laid in bed myself trying to nod off and cursing the jittery dog when I rolled over and realized that the wiggling was not Clayton, who was fast asleep by my backside, but The Hubby who was twitching.  His muscles were just jumping all over the place trying to relax.  I know he does this most nights but Friday was the worst he's been in awhile.  That is usually a sign of stress and tensness for him which made sense because work has been horrible.  We are usually slow this time of year but this year, with the slow down in the economy it is even slower than usual.  It's odd though as he usually shows his stress in different ways and I really didn't notice this time.  Anyway, back to the night of uneasy rest.  We finally all drifted off quietly when I was awakened about 2 a.m. to The Hubby sitting on the end of the bed on my side rifling through my purse with his little LED flashlight.  I said, "What are you doing?"  He replied, "Your phone battery is dying and it's beeping."  I reminded him that I turned the thing off when we got off the main road when we arrived so it could not be that.  He put my purse back and climbed back into bed mumbling he thought he heard beeping.  Yes dear, just go back to sleep.  Strange night. 

I have to back up a bit to Friday.  I finally was able to meet with my dear friend that is dealing with cancer to exchange our Christmas.  We are usually late in this endeavor.  I had painted her the picture of the wine glasses and strawberries and was anxious to give it to her.  She was supposed to start Chemo on Monday (today) and I wanted her to have a happy place to look at and remember.  She was very pleased with it.  It is so hard seeing her go through this stuff.  I'm very worried and really don't know what all is happening with her.  Just all so out there as I've not had anyone close to me with cancer before (I lie, my grandfather had lung cancer but I was very young), and this is not the only person I know lately.  There are two people at our cabin area dealing with different kinds of cancer.  This is a whole new place for me to be and it weighs on my mind a lot. 

Yesterday morning it turned bitter cold again and I was surprised to see all the beautiful snow.  Huge, HUGE flakes and thankfully they didn't stick.  I was not going to be happy if the snow yet again canceled a family dinner.  I don't know if you can tell but there were gigantic flakes here.

We came back to town and hurridly cleaned up the house because I called for an impromtu dinner with The Hubby's family.  One of the nephews and his family were finally going to be in town since they missed Christmas and I wanted us all to finally have a family time.  I called to Olive Garden and ordered lasagna and spaghetti for 15, picked it up and had a great meal.  It is very easy when you don't have time to cook.  I was a bit terse with The Hubby's older brother who wanted to pay for part of the dinner but I and insisted No.  He said that he wanted to because it was mostly his family there.  I guess I took it wrong and spouted off, "Hey, I've been Mrs. The Hubby for more years than I was maiden name."  He just kind of laughed and asked if I was sure.  I guess I took it wrong because I've been ticked off at him for a bit.  I love him dearly but may not ever forgive him for not rushing to be here when his brother, my husband was in the hospital and on a vent for 3 days.  I know The Hubby was going to be fine but I needed the support and he was not there.  Okay, I will calm down now. 

This morning the old Jazzercise girls met for coffee and I gave up my cardio to meet, besides I woke up with a horrible headache and just now have made it disappear.  I hate that.  Tonight I go out with another group of girls we call The Birthday Club for dinner and friendship.  Yes, I think I am blessed with very good friends. 

This week will also be full of work, dental work, nails, hair and more work on Daddy's.  The Hubby could not stand it and decided to pull the washer and dryer, paint and patch the laundry room, the last room that needed work.  It was nasty.  The concrete floor will have to be painted too.  It has been in the past and looks awful.  So the whole house is going to be done just in time for Daddy to come home.  They begin the drive home on March 4.  Can't wait.  So Friday and/or Saturday will be yet another work day. 

I guess that is a lot of info but I feel that I've been missing a bit and I apologize if I have not commented on my fellow bloggers but my reader is messed up and I'm slowly trying to find a read.  Take care all and I will keep posted!

Women Drivers...no wait...Elderly Drivers

Yesterday, after a very long, boring day at the office I headed to the grocery store for a few odds and ends.  I don't know if it was the impending rain for the week but it was a bit crazy.  I don't quite understand it but it is what it was.  First of all the shopping cart area was almost void of carts as they were all residing in the parking lot.  Second, it was almost a constant traffic jam up and down the aisles of the store.  You would think there was a snow storm coming or something.  I guess the idea of fall and winter brings out survivial stuff in people.  When done with picking up the few things I needed I headed out to my car.  There in the middle of the drive in front, sideways was a huge Lincoln with a very elderly lady at the wheel.  She had a handicap thingy hanging from her mirror and was waiting for the very first handicap slot that was filled.  I was walking behind her to my car when I saw the backup lights come on and she was backing up.  I ran pushing the cart in front of me.  I could see my life flash in front of my eyes and the brief thought was that she would forget she was in reverse and rev it into the store.  I got to my car and then she started honking at the car in the slot.  The Lincoln lady was totally blocking all of the traffic and the car she was waiting on was not moving, at all.  HONK! HONK! HONK!  Finally, the parked car moved and Lincoln lady moved in.  I watched as she creeped into the slot, a bit crooked but it was next to a no parking spot and not too bad.  She got out of the car, stooped over and trudging, walked around and noticed she was a bit off, slowly made her way back to the driver side and backed in and out to get it just right in the lines.  When she was where she thought she should be she went in to shop totally oblivious to the havoc she had created.  That, my friends is where her family should take her driving privileges away from her.  I'm a bit afraid of little old people driving tanks.  We had to take my grandmother's privileges away when she cremated a couple of mailboxes in her T-Bird.  Sometimes it just has to be done and I don't look forward to grounding my father in the future. 

Hanging of The Bras

The weekend is over.  The Hanging of The Bras weekend 2009 is done.  Whew!  What a weekend with my girlfriends.  We had a couple of last minute cancellations, one whose grandson was being rushed to the hospital with swine flu and pnemonia.  We we very concerned but found out late yesterday that he was better and being transfered to a regular room from from the ICU.  Very, very scary stuff.  We couldn't have asked for a better weekend weather wise.  It was just fantastic cool weather and so nice that the windows and doors stayed open all weekend long.  When I first arrived, a few hours early, I used the time to enjoy the day with a ride on the golf cart down to the creek.  The water was way up because of all the rain, so much so that I couldn't get down to the boat dock because the road was under water. 

This used to be the road to the creek till the rains in spring washed it away.  The water is so much deeper now. 

The ride took me to a sight, thousands, I said thousands of dragonflies were swarming around the shallow water by the road.  I tried to take pictures but they would not land anywhere.  It was a sight to see blue, orange, brown and green dragonflies everywhere.  My first thought was to get on of the ladies that was coming there as soon as possible because she collects dragonfly anything.  She would love it.  Unfortunately, by the time they arrived there were only a few left.  Saturday we took a ride down there to see if they were back but there weren't many.  We looked and looked but it was for naught.

The whole weekend was spent bonding and talking and confiding with each other about our joys and sadnesses.  We talked about why blue whales have such a large penis and that it is sheathed in a special sac or it would drown because it is so large.  Hmmm... That elephants can't thrust during sex because it would kill the female but that their special member actually thrusts itself.  All this was learned from reading Reader's Digest.  I do believe I need to re-look a subscription to that little magazine.  Then another talked about how whales turn sideways and do the deed, sort of a drive-by mating.  We discussed vibrators and the need whether you are married or not and that the use does not have to be alone but integrated in the marriage.  Hmmm.  One friend told of cleaning out her daughters old room when they were moving and finding a vibrator amoung the left stuff.  We talked about the H1N1 flu and the Swine flu and I was amazed that some of them did not know that they were one in the same and that if you get a flu shot this fall you will need two, H1N1/Swine and the regular flu shot.  We talked about alcoholic parents and spouses, marriages and the possible demise of one of the ladies on union.  It was a rather sad subject and very fresh for her but we were there for her.  We had a really interesting weekend full of all kinds of stuff.  That's what it's all about, isn't it. 

One last picture of a small mushroom I found just outside the screen door in the flowerbed.