This week has been full, it's been emotional and BUSY! I finished this lovely painting and plan on putting it in a judged show next month along with the next two. I am immensely proud of these paintings and feel I've come to the next level in my artistic travels. Next month they will be at The Hive in Jenks. This month I have five paintings there for a show. It's a great venue and you OUGHT to go sometime and check it out.
"Oren's Flowers" 30x24 oil
"Jara's Tulips" 24x24 oil
Today I deliver these skull paintings to The Cottage Gallery for a Skulls show, a prize money show!!!
I've been hiding away actually in my studio. Monday was a good day, and not so good. I got up knowing I was to meet three old high school friends for breakfast and was really looking forward to it, but first was a stop to see my father in the nursing home he is at for his rehab after yet another stint in the hospital. I'm not sure if I've written about it but he really came close to leaving this earth this time around, and he just does not get it. Anyway, I went in knowing that Daddy had laid into my brother the day before, wanting to go home. I knew, KNEW that when he would be feeling better, not good enough to really go home, but good enough that he would be itching to leave and head home to his chair and his cat. Sure enough he went after my brother. Bro walked out. So going in on Monday morning I was ready, or so I thought. I saw Daddy sitting in the commons area where the residents gather for their meals. He was sitting with two lovely ladies that he has struck up a friendship with. I sat down and said, "Hi Daddy." He quickly introduced me as his oldest daughter then he turned and started in on me yelling and banging his hand on his walker. I was stunned even though I thought I was ready. He yelled and glared at me and said, "I'M GOING HOME TODAY!" I told him that he was going to stay until he was ready, that he always goes home too soon and then rebounds because he went home too soon. I told him that this was the third (maybe fourth) time since May he has been in the hospital and he was going to stay until the doctor said go, not him. He glared and hammered on the walker and yelled again. I told him he was going to have to quit yelling at me and Bro, that was not acceptable, that we were only trying to help him, that we love him. That he was acting like a child and was going to stay. He yelled and whammed his hand again. I was so embarrassed and was crying and his table mates were whispering to me they were sorry. His hollering made me realize that he thought we had brought him there to STAY! Far from it. I said, "Daddy, when the doctor signs the papers for you to go home, then I will take you home!" He stopped but not before I was so very, very hurt by his words. His breakfast came, he turned around to eat and I told him I had to go to meet friends and he said "BYE" while eating, I left. Here it is Saturday morning and I have not been back. I'm still very hurt and frankly I'm embarrassed to even look him in the eye. I don't want to face him and probably won't until he goes back home. You can blame it on his older age, but in reality, that is the old Daddy, one I've seen many times in my life and you cannot blame it on his age, AT ALL! I then found out that on Thursday my brother got a call from the place that said come quick. Daddy was railing after someone about going home, that they said he was supposed to be released. When he goes off, it is not good. Sis was in the mix too. Bro got there and figured out (and I told him Daddy only hears what he wants to hear) that he was to be released. He neglected to glean on the words "released TUESDAY!" He only heard released and he went after that. Bro let him rail and then said, "Are you through," then went on to explain. That seemed to settle all of them down, then he left to go back to work. Bro was in a good place with Daddy up until all this, now he's back to square one. Daddy can be mean, always could, with words and THOSE EYES! Scary stuff.
Monday after the horrible visit I went on to meet three old high school friends and I didn't want it to happen but when I saw Pat and hugged her neck I broke down.
I just sobbed. Luckily, they are great friends and it felt good to vent. Pat is a doctor and she told me some stuff that I need to be on the look out for for Daddy. First he should not even be on any kind of statin drugs at his age! Second, he needs to find a gerontologist for his care. Not sure if we can make that happen as Daddy LOVES his stupid doctor, and his stupid care is partly why we are here today.
Sorry to vent, really, it's just been one of those weeks.