1915-1979

This guy, my Grandaddy would have been 108 years old today. Sadly he lost his battle to lung cancer at a very young age, 63, the same age as sister Dana was last month. DAMN cigarettes!

Jamie Sangster (1915-1979) passed away a few days after his all time favorite actor, John Wayne, and a few months before his first great-grandchild was to enter this world. He was really excited to meet her and saved his change for nearly my entire pregnancy for her. When he was gone Granny gave me that gigantic jar of money and I started her college fund with it. Grandaddy was an incredible businessman and all around person. He and Granny moved to the BA area when my mother was young, living in the Alsuma area-61st & Garnett, where mother graduated from Union High School (our daughters too.) They had a turkey farm, orchards and farmland. After they quit that life they moved to town to the house on Main, which my parents bought from them and I grew up. He had the Purina Feed Store for many years and went from there to a used car lot and finally real estate. The real estate was where he shined. He was a master in selling land. He was very involved in the area sitting on several boards and even the Kerr-McGee Lock and Dam project.

He had a twinkle in his Paul Newman-blue eyes, a giggle that made you want to join in the laughter. He was smart, fair, honest and the best granddaddy ever. I miss him everyday and know that he watches us and approves how we have led our lives.

STOP IT

 I thought I made myself clear, STOP IT with friends who are leaving this world.  Found out that a dear friend, Kellie Slade left us after a lengthy and brave battle with breast cancer.  DAMMIT!!!  I don't know if I can take this.  Kellie was an absolute hoot.  Her husband Jim has known The Hubby since they were toddlers.  Their mothers were best friends.  Kellie was a whirlwind of fun and laughter and she will be greatly missed.  I'm just heartsick over this loss.  Her birthday was the same as my sister.  She passed 3 days after her birthday.

Quick note:  I went to the ear, nose and throat doctor today and after he asked questions, looked around my mouth and scoped my nose down my throat declared it was allergies and acid reflux.  WTF!!!  How do you explain an excruciatingly painful sore throat for nearly two months!  CRAP...CRAP...CRAP!  He did prescribe a steroid, allergy nose spray and acid reflux medicine.  This is simply crazy.  I am glad he prescribed the steroid as I think that will help but allergies and reflux!  It's true then that I maybe stressing so much over everything I'm making it worse.  The brain is still such an uncharted thing.

Broken Leg

I'm sharing the latest from our youngest daughter about her oldest, Min.  This is ABSOLUTELY the craziest thing.  They CANNOT catch a break.

"Well…I can’t write this s***. Minerva broke her leg.

She went to a birthday party this morning in Tulsa…one of only two parties she got to go to this year. And within two minutes of being there, she broke her leg in the bounce house. I wasn’t there, Nick was, but they called right after it happened. Apparently a bigger kid landed on her leg. Hard to get a straight story. It was hard to gauge the damage because she wouldn’t let us inspect it and was very upset. We thought she was just shaken up by all the chaos of the party/our life right now. So they left and started to head down here to OKC like we had planned. (I’ve been in OKC since Thursday). She wouldn’t straighten out her leg or walk on it. By the time they got here she was pretty inconsolable and it was clear that it wasn’t just emotional upset. No (almost) four year old would commit to such a show for so long. So we took her to the ER at the same hospital Max is at (again, if you’ve been following along since her pink eye last month). After many pain killers, screams, and X-rays we saw that she had indeed broken her tibia, straight across. Nothing displaced, thank God, but she will have a cast for four to six weeks. She’s in fairly good spirits, but the multiple pain meds make it hard to judge her state at the moment. At least we got some good laughs and video for the archives. These will go in a scrap book for sure.

I don’t know what to say at this point other than we are hanging on by a thread. Our GoFundMe is still up, we need all the prayers, and a stiff drink or two.

Thank you all."

https://gofund.me/1a5415de

I've written here before about MY broken leg at age 11 so I can totally sympathize with them, with Min. Weirdly the week I got my cast off was when my grandmother broke her ankle in Hawaii!

Loss, Yet Again

June was a horrible month, should have been a good month (my birthday you know!)  

We lost Dana on June 20th.

This is the last photo of us three.  Daddy is gone, Momma is gone and now Dana is gone.  Heartbreaking.

We also lost our sweet friend Tom a few months ago.  

July 15 would have been my best friend Gail's birthday.  It went by without a blip in most minds.  Then July 18 would have been Dana's 64th birthday.  

This week we lost yet another friend that we've know for 21 years, dear Maggie.

She had a massive stroke on Friday morning and was gone by Wednesday.  Man, she and I were messaging a month ago talking about stopping by to visit her but I just didn't feel well enough to be around her.  DAMMIT!  Wish I had just gone to see her.  

This stuff is just happening too often, I am damn tired of it.  I need a few months, no a year or two without losses.  I miss my sister, my momma, my daddy, everyone.  Doesn't help I have been sick for over a month now.  

Honestly today I actually feel like I am getting better.  Can you imagine having a sore throat for over a month, well, I don't have to imagine as I have been dealing with that.  Every swallow has been excruciating but today it is finally where I am not eating Tylenol or Advil.  Of course, it is just before I FINALLY got an appointment with an ear, nose and throat doctor on Monday.  I bet by the time I go in there will be no pain whatsoever.  Just my luck.  It honestly feels like a throat infection.  At least I am on the mend, I feel it.  The past three nights I have slept better than the past month.  My voice is a tad better but I'm trying not to use it much which seems to be helping.  

The babies are all home in their respective homes.  I've had Snicklefritz every morning so her mother could go to work.  She really is quite wonderful to have around.  Next week she goes to horse camp and she is so very excited.  I'm pretty sure I will have her in August before school starts too.  Her favorite thing to eat at my house is breakfast, scrambled eggs, cinnamon toast or waffle.  I taught her how to make the scrambled eggs and now she gets all the stuff out and makes it all by herself, I just supervise.  She LOVES my scrambled eggs.  We've eaten out breakfast a few times too this week.  Yesterday I had both girls as there was a car shuffle with Min's parents as they are still trying to make do with one car.  I think they've got the second one now.  Anyway I had her yesterday too so I took them for breakfast at a place here in Tulsa, Big Baby Rolls that specializes in vegan donuts and cinnamon rolls.  OMG, absolutely delicious.  It was fun on a rainy morning and then a grocery pickup, some watercolor painting, granny napping, yes Friday stuff.  I love having them but I do need some rest this next week and will totally take it.  

So my week is a doctor appointment, which is absolutely NOTHING!  Then delivery of paintings for an art show that opens in Broken Arrow on Thursday.  I've had to enlist my friend/former studio partner, Linda to deliver the paintings on Monday as I will be at the doctor.  We'll having the opening on Thursday and I hope my voice is better by then.  Lunch with my brother on Friday (missed this week because of my gaggle of children in tow) and hoping to head to the cabin after that.  I'm going to try and enjoy my free time the next few weeks, rest, paint and act like I'm retired before August 31.  That is when our little Max has his next surgery.  He is doing very well and even got his first tooth with another one on it's way.  We are hoping that he breezes through this next surgery and will be home quickly, just in time for Min to start her preschool classes again of which I'm sure I will be her taxi driver.  This time next year things (praying) will be more on the normal scale.  

Sketching (and that nagging SORE THROAT)

Thursday night I took my first life drawing class.  I've been in a class that painted from real life but not something like this!  I will tell you as time drew near to go I was almost in the flight stage of just skipping it and losing the $20 but I knew I HAD to go.  I wanted to go.  I NEEDED to go.  I packed up my stuff and headed out to an old house in the south part of downtown.  Out of the car, up the steps and into a whole new world for me.  The first person I saw was a guy named Randy O. that I knew from another art group.  Nice guy. There was another much older guy who I was introduced to but immediately forgot his name.  In fact I barely remembered anyone's name because I was so nervous.  The lady whose art house this was popped around the corner and immediately welcomed me by name and got me all set up to begin.  There were I think 6 or 7 of us set up in a two room area and in the middle a lady, in a robe was getting all ready for us to draw.  I heard some mumbling in the front room about 3 minutes, 10 poses but it did not register in my brain and all of a sudden at exactly 6:30, the lady in the robe, dropped her robe and we were on.  I knew it was a nude model life drawing class but it is still a shock to be in mixed company and have that happen.  She posed and I started slowly to try and make some marks on my paper.  I guess 3 minutes had passed in that short time and I had barely made a mark on the paper when I heard a beep and she changed poses.  CRAP, I quickly shifted to the other corner of the paper and started again but was met with the beep I would imagine was 3 minutes.  Paper shuffling I changed paper and my determination to get more than a few marks on the paper.  I started drawing quick marks to just get the bare minimum of marks on the paper to look like the pose.  This continued for another 7 poses at 3 minutes each.  Every time she changed and I started another one I got better and better and faster and faster till the end of that part of the session I actually had forms on the paper.  Then we had 3 sessions of 10 minutes each.  There I got better again with a bit more time to fine tune the figure on paper.  Then we 2 sessions of 20 minutes and it was so much better but you know I felt like I was better at the mark making at the 3 minute times.  All in all I LOVED IT, absolutely LOVED IT!  I cannot wait to go next week.  I'll miss the week after that but I hope to make this my weekly drawing class.  It was such fun and a great drawing exercise.

The few days before the class I worked on these in my sketchbook/watercolor journal.

And this one at the studio, yes I got some time at my actual easel!

This sketch is from a photo I’ve loved forever. It’s me at the sink doing dishes for the first time as a wife (47 years ago) after cooking my first meal as a wife. I know, I know, little did I know what that meant at the time. Still I was blissfully happy here. It was also in our first apartment that we loved so much.

Now on to my body.  I am STILL battling this sore throat thing and it has really got me in my head with worry, to the point my blood pressure is up.  All kinds of things are going through my head, throat cancer, leukemia (bloody noses-2), who knows, but I am DAMN TIRED OF HURTING!  Every night is a struggle to swallow because of the pain.  My doctor last week said lets see how it goes but over the weekend I decided I'm done with this pain.  Yes it is a tad better but not enough to ignore it.  My glands a swollen a bit too and there is sinus drainage.  I think I still have a sinus infection and unfortunately think I NEED another antibiotic and maybe a steroid, but who am I, not a doctor!  But I know my body and I need something.  It has been since June 8 that I have been sick and fighting off something.  It is time to get serious and stop the pain.

Tomatoes, Sketching and Health

Well, well, look what we got here...home grown tomatoes, MY home grown tomatoes.

The Hubby and I (my suggestion) put in two plants at the office where there is full sun, only grass and a sprinkler system, AND it is fenced with no access from potential thieves, except possibly a dadgum squirrel!  Those two plants have given us about 10 tomatoes, huge tomatoes.  So yummy.  Can't wait to plant more stuff next year!

I am still sick, yes STILL SICK.  I have had an off and on sore throat since the first of June and I cannot seem to get rid of it.  There is more, sniffles a bit, drainage, slight cough although that has gone away.  Every morning I never know how I am going to wake up, feeling okay or like I've been hit by a truck.  Yesterday I felt pretty good, this morning, like crap.  I had yet another video visit with my doctor and we tossed around the idea of strep throat and even mono!!! YIKES!  I really think it has been a combo but mostly a sinus infection.  I'm feeling a tad better since I took a shower and got cleaned up but with a slight headache and of course the ever present sore throat.  I am so over being sick and today there is a complication on my healing process.  They have to take Max in to get his G-tube converted back or added back the GJ-tube.  He has such a problem with reflux and vomiting, especially right after he gets his meds (not a good thing for a heart baby) that they've got to do something.  He's also losing weight because of the vomiting and they need him strong for surgery August 3.  Well, the last time they went in for a fix of that he was in nearly 3 weeks and Minerva was here with us for that 3 weeks, I was sick that whole time, the storm, sister passing, etc... Can't say I'm too keen on this happening again.  They have an appointment today and the rub is my still being sick.  First we don't want to pass any kind of germ to Min or to Max and second I NEED to get well.  So they've been trying to find some kind of help to care for Min.

UH, she just called and Max is throwing up blood, they have got to hit the road, RIGHT NOW!  I was getting ready to walk out the door to get some lab tests done.  I want to help but I'm caught in a catch 22 on this thing.  I feel helpless but I have GOT to get this illness thing figured out and get some rest to heal.  

DAMMIT!!!

I was able to get to the studio this week, twice but I see that is getting ready to end again.  I'm still sketching and water coloring at home.  The intent of the sketching is that I signed up for Thursday evening a sketch class but at this point, that may not happen...

Saying Goodbye

Happy 4th of July

(Max and his Granny, what a darling little boy)

The past weekend was one of the quietest 4th's we have had in many years.  Because of all the rig-a-ma-role that goes into taking Max or even two children anywhere they stayed home for the weekend festivities as did B&B2 and Snicklefritz.  I missed them but honestly I really enjoyed the quiet, or as quiet as it can be on the 4th at the lake.  I NEEDED the rest.  I'm still hacking and coughing up crap and this morning sneezing my head off.  I think it's allergies and took a Zyrtec to help, I hope.  I REALLY don't need another rebound illness to descend on me.  I'm sleeping nearly 8 hours every night now and before it was at best 6 hours.  I think my body, at 67 years young, is saying SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, or I'm going to fight you!

Sunday we headed back to town and went to my brother and sister-in-law's to celebrate the life of Dana.  It was quite wonderful with a meal and family on what was one of the most pleasant weather days for July.  I know some were thinking that we didn't do the memory walk just right but it was my sister and her family, hell, my family and we are just not like that kind of thing.  We don't do the touchy-feely kind of thing and frankly, it was Dana.  Memories, good memories, are kind of hard to bring up with it comes to Dana and have to be honest here, most of my childhood I hated my sister.  Didn't help I shared a room and a bed until I got married and left home at age 19.  We became friends after her marriage and then divorce.  She was a great aunt to my girls and they loved her dearly, but face it she was mostly a mess.  Dana was extremely opinionated and used the word FUCK like it was everyday language.  I had issues with how she raised her children, she was a horrible pet parent (she failed miserably at that), and basically how she saw life, but SHE WAS MY SISTER and I did love her.  We are each individuals and she certainly was.  We were extremely different people, and if you met both of us you would not be able to figure out that we were raised in the same house by the same parents.  But, she was my sister, and I DID LOVE HER.  Life moves on.  I spent most of the weekend dreading Sunday.  I was on the verge of tears most of the day but honestly Sunday worked for me and allowed me to get past that.  It was good to be with family.