Clouds and Memories

 

Good Sunday morning all.  I have to say this retirement thing is kind of awesome, finally.  We are truly getting into it now, now that Min and Max's lives are settling down.  This morning I actually slept in till 8 am.  That is honestly unheard of for me, usually.  I'm a 5 am kind of gal.  I still try to wake up at 4:30 or 5 but I MAKE myself go back to sleep.  I feel so much better getting more sleep and it's restful sleep.  I'm certainly missing the early morning time at my easel but I will adapt at some point.  We get up and just hang around the house or go out to breakfast and on the weekends he fixes me breakfast.  He even comes home at lunch time while I'm settling in to watch my soaps, AND WATCHES THEM WITH ME!  Oh, he doesn't pay much attention, but he's there with me and asks occasional questions about them.  Funny.  We headed to the cabin on Thursday this week planning on coming back on Saturday 
afternoon to attend an engagement party.  When we did get back we opted to beg off because he has a head cold and Friday night I started a twinge of getting it too. DAMMIT!  I DO NOT need to get sick again.  So far though it's just an annoyance kind of drippy nose, slight scratch of the throat.  Honestly I feel like it's allergies but he definitely has a head cold.  I'm supposed to get my Covid booster tomorrow and flu shot on Tuesday but not sure if I need to reschedule while my body is dealing with this thing.  If I do okay today I will just keep the appointments.  I want to be vaccinated.

The drive Thursday afternoon was beautiful and the skies were full of amazing clouds.  I will surely try to paint some of these.  I just love road photos, especially to paint.  

Recently I have been missing my sister, a lot, and today I'm missing Daddy.  I would go to see him a lot on Sunday mornings and the feeling to drive there overcame me briefly.  Friday I got a message from my niece wanting to know if I could talk.  She had a crochet question.  I said sure and we chatted about her project she was try to do and needed some advice.  I was glad to help.  She also contacted me earlier in the week for the Bathtub Chicken recipe that Momma used to make.  Her mother made it all the time but she could not find the recipe.  I was happy to dig it out for her, the original Momma used to use.  I know for a fact though that Dana reimagined her version so there might not have been an actual copy written down.  When I got off the phone for her I was glad she felt comfortable to reach out to me and sad that she had to.  Then I looked up to the sky and told Dana, "I'm here for her, I'm here for her."  

Gosh, how that hit me, I MISS MY SISTER, my momma and daddy.

I Miss You

I miss you Momma...10 years ago today I watched you take your last breath.  I love you and miss you terribly.

Loss of a Friend

 

My dear sweet Daddy had some very sad news yesterday.  On Sunday's about 10:30 in the morning, every Sunday, he gets in his little car and drives out to his oldest friends house to visit.  He and Jay were best buds in high school and Jay has a twin sister, Kay, he goes to visit Jay but Kay comes to bring them lunch and to give Daddy his kiss!  Jay is married to Helen.  Jay and Helen were also dear friends of my Momma and Daddy.  Anyway, Helen had a massive heart attack yesterday about the time that Daddy goes to visit.  I don't know if he was there because I only had a message from him.  I didn't call back because he can't hear but will today.  He called all three of us, Bro, Sis and me but only talked to Sis and she said what happened.  You could tell on the message that he is torn up for a lot of reasons but one is because tomorrow is the 10th anniversary of Momma passing.  Breaks my heart for him and Jay and their family.

NOTE:  Edited this after I just talked to him...yes he was there but said there was nothing he could do.  So sad and hard on him and Jay.

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day

I'm doing this on Saturday because for some reason this year I'm feeling the loss of Momma so keenly this year.  I don't want to think about it tomorrow.  She was my best friend, my confident, my ship in a storm.  My heart absolutely breaks with her not in my world.  I miss her so very much and cannot stand to even write these words right now.  Could be the gin and tonic I just finished off...could be...

Here's to all mother's everywhere and I will cherish the only mother figure I have left, my fantastic mother-in-law!

s

Peaceful

I am bound and determined that today will be peaceful and without drama.  It's is Saturday and the day before Mother's Day.  I also forgot this week that Tuesday would have been Momma and Daddy's 59th wedding anniversary.  All the stuff that has been going on it just slipped my mind and I kind of think Daddy's because he never said a word.

The new word on all that has happened is that the heart institute place did not have the insurance right, that since he has he own insurance it is a Medicare replacement.  What, I am so confused because the other hospital place filed through his Medicare.  They will have to re-request through the insurance to okay his test, 3 months after his heart attack.  GOOD GRIEF.  I sent an email to Sis and Bro saying that we have to have a family meeting to clarify it all and Sis to explain because insurance is what she does.....deep breath.  In, out, in, out....where's my easel!

Happy Birhday Momma

Today Momma would have been 78 years old.  Here's to my sweet Momma!

Writing

I'm still here.  For some unknown reason I just can't seem to come up with words for this blog lately.  I'm blocked in so many ways and not sure why.  I do journal in a handwritten journal but even that has become a bit silent.  Lots of stuff rumbling around in my noggin' but just not able to put it into words.  I haven't even been able to pick up a book to read, although I am listening to audio books in my car.  Every few years I get this way and can't explain it.  I think there is just a lot of stuff on my plate and I'm in kind of a limbo:  Daddy in the nursing home, waiting and waiting for his next surgery; the remodel/add-on to the house that seems to be moving slow as molasses; and more that I can't put here for various reasons.  So don't worry all I will be back on track soon, I hope.  I liked posting everyday but I think I needed a break, to slow down a bit.  Hang in there with me.  The camera should be here soon too and I will be able to share more snapshots of life in my world.  Take care all and Happy Wednesday.  Enjoy an old snapshot of Momma - Happy Mother's Day.

Recipe Box

Had to make a quick run to Daddy's this morning after my workout.  He's been bugging me to return Momma's recipe box.  I took it when we were re-doing his house so I could make copies of the contents.  I just have not had time or memory to do the project.  So yesterday I was a copying fool so I could return it.  He said there were recipes that momma left for him to use.  Really most of the stuff was cakes and several copies/versions of cavatini that she created.  I have returned it to him!  I think it is more that it was a powerful connection to Momma and it gave him comfort.  I'm glad he is happy. 

A Fine Saturday Morning...But Wait

It is a fine Saturday morning.  I was up at 7 this morning because my hands and the carpel tunnel thing would not let me sleep.  That is okay though as I didn't want to miss the cool part of the day.  They are of course predicting 100+ degrees today and many more days but hey, that is Oklahoma summer.  (Check out the photo...the moon is still in the sky and it is 8:39 AM.)  I plan on doing absolutely nothing this weekend but sit in my chair on my porch with a fan blowing directly on me and finishing Eat, Pray, Love just in time for the movie.  A little journaling will be in store but basically, nothing!  This past week I know I didn't say anything, but Monday was 4 years since we lost Momma.  I decided not to recoginze that day.  It should not be an anniversary of her passing but I need to celebrate every day that she was with us.  Celebrate all the things that she taught me in my life and my girls.  Okay, now that is all on the subject.  On the other side is that on Wednesday my sweet Daddy will be 75 years old.  He is still rocking along and will celebrate the day with having all of his sisters and probably their hubby's over for dinner, which he will cook. 

He was stressing a bit about what to cook and I suggested he buy some of the frozen lasagnas and a salad and french bread and that would be easy and good.  He loved the idea and has purchased the lasagnas but wants my help on suggestions on the bread and salad, again.  No problem.  The problem is that according to him the duct work under his house has fallen and he's losing all of his cool air under the house.  That his electric bills are $20 higher and he is burning up.  Ummm, well, Daddy the temperature for the past month has been hovering close to and touching 100 degrees...If he is correct then heating up the house with the oven is not going to be a very good idea.  We'll get it figured out somehow.  Maybe can cook the stuff at my sister's and have her daughter bring it over.  Yeah that might work...Hey Sis!!!

A Disturbing Find

When I visited Daddy last week he gave me a little zippered plastic bag filled with Momma's various doctor cards.  Why he seemed to think I needed this I really don't know.  I started going through all of them yesterday and it was a bit mind boggling.  There were internal medicine, hospice, pulmonary medicine, gastroenterology, cardivoascular and thoracic, oculoplastics & orbital, gynecological, critical care internal medicine, otolaryngology (ear, nose & throat), optometric, interventional and invasive cardiology, audiologist, refractive surgery (eye), neurological, podiatry, dentist, and orthopaedic (micro vascular surgery).  Some of the cards were definitely for Daddy with his hearing and his cardiovascular surgery on his legs, but the eye stuff and the pulmonary stuff was Mom's.  It kind of took me back to the days of doctor visits and how downhill she went so very quickly.  There were also the common cards like for the dentist and gynecological, even though I knew she had so issues with the later too.

Have to go to a happy place so spent the morning today painting and finished another painting, the sheep.  Debating on a name.  Be sure to check out the art blog...

What Is A Housewife

This is a challenge from the new place I love to go...The Real Housewives of Oklahoma...I have been challenged to write about this subject...

"What Is A Housewife." 

First let us find the definition to that heavily weighted word, housewife according to Wikipedia.  It refers to the housewife as a woman not employed outside the home and manages the home.  That is all well and good.  My mother was a housewife as was my grandmother although they both worked at different times when necessary before children arrived.  I used to threaten The Hubby that when I die I do not want my obituary to read "she was a housewife."  I'm not a housewife.  I promised that I would come back to haunt him!  I work outside the home, sort of.  I work at our office and when the girls were young the office was in the home.  Actually, we are all housewives if you take the definition from Wikipedia to heart, we manage the home too.  We work outside the home and inside the home.  We do it all.  I'm not sure I really like the term, housewife.  I've done it all.  I work.  I've raised two daughters.  I went to college while raising those two girls.  I also worked in our business, still do for nearly 31 years.  I've managed the house and paid the household bills along with the work responsibilities.  Hey, I think I'm tired.  Housewife, I'm not sure I've managed to figure out that term myself.  I've cooked, cleaned, done the laundry.  I've taken the kids to the doc and the pets to the vet.  I've been a nurse and caretaker. I've championed my girls at their school and extra activities.  I've been a chauffeur and WalMart runner at the last minute kind of gal.  I've been ready for the family dinners at our house with a smile on and a killer meal to boot.  I've been the glue for the family, especially the extended family.  I have been the wife, the patient wife who is there for her guy.  His dinner is kept warm for hours and when he walks in the door I'm not mad but caring for his long day.  I am happy to be with him, to sit and watch mindless TV, to talk about his day.  I am there in good and bad.  I am more that a mere housewife, I am woman, hear me roar!  Oops, better get off the high pedestal that I've climbed up on and get back down to earth.  Oh gosh, I don't know if I can define what a housewife is, I just know who I am and I am much, much more that a housewife, like many, many of the women today.  We need to coin a new phrase, don't you think!  I can't even think of one word that would fill that in so housewife I guess I will stay.

This, That and the Other Thing

Being snowed in I spent much of the time catching up on blog reading and painting. I started a couple more paintings, one I will share here. I spent nearly three hours on Sunday afternoon totally engrossed in working on it.  Today is yet another class and a chance to work more on Daddy Fishing. 

Yesterday B wasn't well so I caught up at the office invoicing and shuffling papers much of the day.  Tomorrow I need to pay a multitude of bills, mine, work and Daddy's.  I think he is getting anxious to come home and I think his niece is going to be driving home with him.  I'm excited to meet her and show her around our little town.  Daddy informed me yesterday he wants to take her to Molly's Landing for prime rib.  Unfortunately I think he has forgotten that they don't have prime rib.  I sent him the link to see for himself.  While healing at home yesterday B found a picture of Momma and sent it to me. This how Momma looked the spring before we lost her.  Again I will step onto the soap box....See the oxygen tank and hose in her nose.  Well, STOP SMOKING NOW!  She was a die hard smoker and only quit when she broke three ribs coughing a few years before this picture.  Stepping down now!

Actually this pic is of both the MIL and my momma but I cropped out the MIL. Not that I don't like her, it's just not a good pic of her. Oh well, I'll share too. I love my MIL dearly.

Taking a break from the paintbrush

Last night I/we took a break from the paintbrush to enjoy a night out.  The Hubby went to a dance class...blech...and I went to a "lingerie" party.  Well, it was more a gadget party.  Yes I said gadget.  Some of the attendees had their jaws hitting the floor and some embraced the concept.  I was not shocked and participated a bit in testing of some of the "lotions" (on my wrist!)  Honestly, I was a bit surprised at the amount of ladies buying some toys but, hey, live a little I say.  There was a lot of laughter and giggling and that is just what the doctor ordered for me.  I've been working so hard on Daddy's house and dealing with the ickiness of it that the nightmares are in abundance.  My sleep has been quite disturbed, but last night, I slept very soundly.  We're also taking a weekend to enjoy the cabin and the company of good friends.  I can't wait to head up there to enjoy the cool fall and a roaring fire in the pit, toast with a bit of wine, and laugh into the night.  Next weekend our youngest A will be home for Thanksgiving and I so can't wait.  It has been since Christmas since she was here.  This year I will be doing the turkey thing at our cabin with the family.  What fun it will be since I totally missed out doing it last year.  I've also jumped up to the plate to host Christmas Eve here at our house.  I'm not sure what possessed me except I have missed that tradition too.  That also means I have to deal with the many boxes that I have brought home from Daddy's.  I will have to go through a bunch of it and put away, reframe (for Daddy) or give away. 

The rose picture has come to my house to stay (as Momma wanted) but I need to find someone to clean it.  It has a film of nicotine coating on it that is hiding some of the beauty.  I told The Hubby this morning that I get a comfort from having it in our house.  It is leaning against the living room wall right now and it gives me a sense of home and contentment.  I don't even remember where Momma got it as it has always been in the living room, a part of my life. 

Happy Halloween

Yes I know I posted that I did not like this day but at least I can say "Happy Halloween" to those who do.  Happy Candy Day! 

This week has been pretty busy with work and various functions in the evening like a nice evening out with some girlfriends to celebrate a birthday.  Last night was a 25th Anniversary celebration with another group of friends.  It was fun and was filled with wine, good food, and lots of smiles and laughter with friends.  We missed a weekend night at the cabin but will be there shortly.  The Hubby is going to stay most of the day in town to do a bit of office work which only means that Monday at the office I will be busy, wait, I may have to go in on Sunday (tomorrow) to make sure it is in the mail...Nooooo!  You do what you have to do when you are self-employed.  I've also been a drawing fool the past few days, completing several sketches for future paintings.  Now I need to slap some paint on canvas.  The problem is that I'm finding time fleeting and my confidence too.  I'm proud of one sketch, my Daddy sitting in the lawn chair fishing (previous couple of posts back).  It is going to be a cool painting I think.

Speaking of Daddy, he has indeed reached his destination and hopefully will stay planted at least for a couple of months of the six he has promised.  This week I will begin the process of packing and tossing stuff in his home.  We had his mail forwarded to our house and that has started.  His first bill arrived that I need to pay.  The Hubby kind of ticked me off a bit the other night when we were discussing the process that is going to happen at the house.  He started talking about getting stuff packed and that he wants to get some of our guys over there to move the furniture out but that I needed to sweep first because it was so nasty and didn't want the guys to see it like that.  WHAT!  Well, I know it is nasty but you know what, it was MY home and I know it is but I'm not embarrassed by it.  I grew up in that house and if he wants to find it icky WELL!!!  Excuse me I don't know what got into me but I was angry I can tell you.  My parents are the 2nd owners of that house and have owned it themselves for about 46 or 47 years (my grandparents owned it before that.)  They were smokers and my mother was not a very good housekeeper.  She was completely the opposite of her mother who was a bit OCD with her house.  It was kind of weird but it is what it was and nothing can change that.  That relationship and really my mother's relationship with the house is done.  We are now going to fix the house up a bit for Daddy, to make him happy and comfortable and to kind of give him a new start.  I think that is what he is looking for, a cleansing.  He loved mother but he is ready to push ahead with life and I'm glad for him.  He talked the other day about when he comes back to town and taking some lady out on a date that he used to go to high school with.  Yeah, wrap your head around that.  51 years of marriage and it is a difficult concept but it happens everyday and I'm glad he's moving forward.  It is time.  I think the process of cleaning the house out and setting it up again with be good for all three of us "kids". 

My Granddaddy, (Momma's daddy) in front the house before siding and when they owned it.  Notice the date August 1955, a little less than year before I was born.

After the siding a few years ago.  Now the huge pine is gone along with the nandinas that Momma loved. 

TGIF

TGIF....wait, it doesn't mean the work, it means the week is over.  I am glad the week is over, actually the past two weeks.  I have run myself to death and I'm a little tired, but it is a good tired.  I feel good.  I also got to sleep in until 7:30 and that is a big improvement over 4:45 AM.  Yes, I finally feel good again after a year of ick.  I have amped up my workouts with trainer "W" to three days a week, in a row and I can surely feel it but it is a good ache.  It feels like I am finally making headway again into the weight loss/ship-shape world.  The bowling started again and I'm doing pretty good with that too.  My art classes have also ramped up again and that is a rush except I'm finding it hard to squeeze a minute or two into painting.  My busy schedule with work and all is also affecting my blogging world and that just can't happen.  I will have to spend Sunday, all day playing catch up on my reader that is full to bursting.  Sorry everyone if I have not been around but I will get there.  It is fall now, at least this next week and I feel the urge to get rid of stuff, change the closet around and just kind of a "fall cleaning" instead of spring.  This is also being pushed into over-drive today because tomorrow I am having The Hubby's family over for dinner (15 of us) for a spaghetti dinner.  YIKES!  The guest room bed and floor has become my closet as of late and that HAS to be addressed, TODAY!  The house will be cleaned today with help from my friend so I can concentrate on the "closet".  Since the meal is simple I won't visit the store until tomorrow probably.  I have to get my grocery list together first and I have to find time to concentrate on it so I don't miss a thing.  I'm a little antsy with the family coming over with our new addition to the family.  There is a new great-nephew along with his brother and girly cousin.  My fear is not that Clayton will be good, it is that the kids will be good to him and not accidently let him out.  He doesn't necessarily come when he calls very well yet.  He is also so very friendly that he wants to be in your face to love you and I don't want him to "love-attack" my MIL either.  I am just a worrier, face it. 

The purpose for the dinner tomorrow is two-fold.  First it is to celebrate the month of September birthdays of our SIL, MIL and most important B's 30th birthday.  OH MY GOSH!  I am actually going to have a 30 year.  That is very surreal to me as most of the time I feel 30.  The second part is that The Hubby's side of the family has been a little disjointed as of late and it has always been my job to get us together and keep us together.  We've had the BIL retiring and moving with wife back to Oklahoma.  The MIL has moved into the Montereau Retirement place and there has been the new addition to the family, great-nephew.  We have not been at a family gathering, all together in a long time and I know that Thanksgiving and Christmas will be a challenge.  I miss the family.  So tomorrow we all we be here, probably minus the SIL as she already gave her regrets the minute I sent out the invite two months ago...I'm being mean but we'll see.

Today is also going to be a very, very sad day for me as I am losing a dear and very old friend.  I told The Hubby and B that at 2 pm today I do not want to be disturbed in anyway as I will be plopped down in front of the television to watch the final day of Guiding Light.  I know, I know I have harped on this but you have to understand that it is like a family to me as it has been a part of my life my entire life.  It is, was a last link between my mother and I.  Yes, I figured out part of my sadness on this and I have a feeling it will be the same for my Daddy.  I have watched this show everyday without fail for the past month and this week I have cried every single day.  Today will be no exception as an era is ending and I don't think people really realize that.  It is a link for a lot of people.  Today is for my Momma!

Toodles all and hopefully I'll get to commenting this weekend for everyone. 

Memories of Momma

(She left us July 26, 2006-this is a memory for me.)

I’m waiting. Waiting and watching for a breath. I don’t know why I’m here except that I’m drawn to this metal chair to sit and wait. My mother is lying on the white sterile sheets of the nursing home bed, with her eyes open to the ceiling. I’m not sure if she even knows I’m here. The journey to this place and time has been long for all of us. This morning as I was getting ready to leave the house I was torn whether I should go, but my dear husband told me I needed to be with my mother. Damn obligations. The doctors have told us that it could be anytime. Daddy comes by early every morning to see her, so I knew that he had already been there, along with my sister and brother on their way to work.

My mind wanders to memories of mother and the wonders of her. Sitting in the nursing home chair watching her try to breathe I am transported to being a little girl, totally in love with an image that has been replaced by a shriveled body with dingy gray hair and hollow brown unmoving eyes that have developed a bluish film over them. She moans occasionally through her ever open mouth. The nurses call her a “mouth breather”.

When I first arrived this morning I went to the side of her bed and touched her forehead brushing the coarse gray wisps back. She moaned softly what I thought was my name, but that could be wishful thinking. I take my place in the cold uninviting chair and wait. Jumbled visions flood my mind as I sit and watch.

She was the most beautiful mother of all the mothers at elementary school. When she walked into Mrs. Kirk’s fifth grade classroom heads turned. She was delivering cupcakes for the class party that afternoon wearing a tight mandarin collar red dress that had large buttons going down the entire back. The collar cinched around her small neck making her look almost anorexic. Her slim body, even after three children, always looked cute in tight fitting dresses that were in fashion at the time. Even then I was envious of her beauty.

I loved to sit on the toilet in the bathroom and watch her apply her makeup, amazed by the ease with which she changed herself. Her eyes were deep brown, like mine. She accented them with a touch of mascara and a light brush of brown shadow. She would then take a dark brow pencil and fill in her perfectly plucked arched eyebrows. Then with the pencil, she would place it at the corner edge of her right eye on a small mole and carefully spin it between her fingers to make a round dot. She called it her beauty mark. It was the style then and boy was she ever in style.

The final touch was to heavily apply coral lipstick to her full lips. When she had it just right, she would roll her lips back and forth together and make a pop sound. Then, looking in the mirror she would purse the lips together as if to kiss someone. To polish the look, she would take a square of toilet paper, put it between the colored lips and kiss it with another smack, leaving her lip imprint on the square. She would hand me the kissed square and I would look at it amazed by the beauty of the color. Her brown hair was coiffed to perfection and her makeup in place everywhere she went. She had a signature scent, White Shoulders. The floral smell of gardenia and musk would permeate the house after she put it on. It was a sad day when she could no longer stand the effects of perfume or colognes. She seemed to have such a natural and effortless way with her style that I never seemed to develop.

Sometimes she would put a little dab of lipstick on my lips, “Rub your lips together. Now blot on the tissue. There, you want to see.” She would lift me up to the mirror to see but I was saddened to not see a beauty like her.

A quick squirt of the trademark White Shoulders and she was complete. Then she would pick up her cigarette that had been burning on the edge of the sink and inhale deeply. Pulling the cigarette from her coral lips smoke escaped from the butt of the cigarette and her lips then she would exhale the rest of the smoke into the air. I watched as the smoke curled out of her darkened large nostrils and I was truly confused by it. I never really understood the attraction, but she loved her cigarettes.

Happy Birthday

Yesterday we celebrated Sis turning 50. She, as most of us thought, did not think she would make it to 50 with her health issues. I've written about it somewhere but can't seem to find the post but she has had two open heart surgeries about 10 years ago, back to back, about 3 months after the birth of her miracle son (her tubes were tied.) This is just a short synopsis of her health history from her entire life of issues. Anyway, her hubby was good at getting everyone together and surprise her for her birthday last night. I was glad because I didn't have to do it. As I've said here before, this year is the year of ME....MWAAAAA! I'm not taking on any responsibility unless I just have too. Besides he needed to do it for "them". It was a success and even our Daddy showed up and his sisters and our cousins to join in the fun. I was only responsible for a slide show that I worked on this week. That was actually fun. In fact, yesterday while tweeking the whole thing I ran across a letter that our mother wrote to her mother and I was amazed. It was actually a nice letter and a kind of thank you to her mother (parents). That was a shock as there was a lot of anger there towards her mother (Granny). We had just moved to Arkansas, away from the families and away from the help and aid they gave. They were on their own, making their way with three small children. It was a big step for them and I could see it in the rest of the letter. Unfortunately, we only stayed for a year as our father became ill and had to have surgery. We were kind of forced back into the protective arms of the families again. I hope you can read this excerpt from that letter. I did a little research and found it was from the book "The Prophet" by Khalil Gibran. My mother, even back then was an amazing insightful, very brilliant woman. This writing is basically how she wanted we three to be raised. It is the basis of everything she taught us and how I have taught my children. Amazing to find this and really see where she had her beliefs and knowledge. I hope you can read it because the last part is what hit me as a departure for her towards her mother...well here, "I hope you understand what I mean by this--in other words, thanks for being such stable bows, for without your guidance this arrow would never have made it."

Happy Mother's Day

Well, another Mother's Day has passed. I've kind of kept a low key attitude about it this year. This is my 3rd MD without my dear sweet momma. The past few years I've made The Hubby get his mother a card because I didn't want to but this year I braved the card aisle and searched for the perfect one for his mother. At first I didn't even want to read them. I just wanted to find a Plain Jane one and run out of the store (after paying), but I made myself go ahead and read and finally decide on one from both of us. She loved it today. Mission accomplished. The Hubby's middle brother called to get us all together and his usual thing is to pick up KFC which I love so that is what we did. I told him I would open our house but it would be paper plates and plastic utensils. He was totally fine with that. It turned out to be a small affair. His partner was ill and couldn't make it. The older brother and his little lady came as did the mother-in-law and our girl B. Her other half B2 was visiting his family as he lost his mother a few years ago too. All in all it has been a very quiet Mother's Day. Of course I miss the other girl, A as she is in California but she called just as everyone showed up so I got to chat with her.

Happy Mother's Day to all.

A Quiet Week

I have been pretty quiet this week. I've had a lot on my mind but it is not ANYTHING I can share right now. I can't stand that as I'm a pretty open person but my "lips" are tied. I guess I'll just blog about junk stuff.

Bowling this week: I kicked ASS! My average is 140 but this week I bowled 169, 159 and 134. I even had a turkey in the first game (3 strikes in a row). Our team is in first place this trimester and will probably will be in the roll off for 1st Place for the season! Woot, Woot! I love to bowl.

Of course I had the painting class which, as I have written before feeds my absolute soul. I can hardly wait to go to class each and every week. It's a time I look forward to each and every week but is sad that I can only do it once a week. I am attempting to create a space at home to set up my painting stuff to LEAVE out. This week I started to clean out my closet in MY room. It looks like my closet has thrown-up all over the place. I found my mother's sewing box. It was an old cigar box filled with brittle thread, buttons, needles and yellowed lace. I had to put it back up on the shelf because it made me sad and I was not in the mood to be sad. I had to continue on digging through stuff. I found old crochet yarn, knitting needles and old patterns that Granny and Momma used to use. In fact, I found the magazine of crochet that my mother used to make my prom dress.

My main objective is to sort through all the family history stuff and pictures and my girls stuff. I found their school papers, grade cards and school pictures. I'm just hugely nostalgic this week. It is going to take me weeks to get this all together but will so worth it.

Fish Fry and more

This entry sadly has no pictures to document the wonderful fish fry we had at the cabin, actually at the wigwam this weekend. We had about 70 turnout for the event and I can tell you I am not looking forward to eating fish for awhile. It was a rousing success as we put out the email invite and told everyone we would supply the fish and condiments, ketchup, tartar sauce and lemons, and everyone else was to bring potluck dishes. We let them decide and it turned out fantastic. There was coleslaw (several kinds), potato salad, cheese grits, salad, hominy salad, pies, cake, cornbread, jalapeno cornbread, just everything you can imagine. I was just stuffed.

This week has kept The Hubby and I busy with financial stuff. We met on Monday with the accountant and Tuesday we met with our financial advisor. These meetings were necessary to make a decision on putting an offer on some investment property. Our business is bursting at the seams and we need more space but the property we are looking at has the potential of leasing out for extra income. So on Wednesday, after the intense meetings we made an offer on the property. We met the realtor, signed the offer and wrote a escrow check for $5000. He left with the paperwork and our check to take it to the owner. I left about 30 minutes after him. I backed out of the parking lot and as I was preparing to shift into drive I saw a small piece of paper in the drive where I had just pulled out. I hesitated and then my gut told me to pick that piece of paper up. I pulled up, opened my door right over the paper and looked down to see $5000, our check was laying on the ground. It had apparently fallen out of the file folder the realtor was carrying. The Hubby walked out of the shop just then to put something into his truck and I motioned him over to my car flagging the check in my hand. He just shook his head, took the check and went inside to call the realtor. I closed my door and went on my way to bowling letting The Hubby handle the situation. So we have made and offer and he countered then we countered back and are waiting to hear.

This next week I have tons on my plate and no desire to accomplish any of it. I need to call one of my classmates that has put together a website for our class to guide me through it (I am the class contact); I need to pay a ton of bills at the office and they will be done tomorrow; I need to pick up the house and do my laundry; I need to call the insurance company to deal with some life insurance stuff YUCK!. All of these things will be done this week as they are necessary and fairly easy, I just don't want to do them. I have a lot of stuff to do at home too that may not get done anytime soon. I still have a closet to clean out but that is a major deal as it is filled with pictures, boxes and boxes of unorganized pictures that I want to organize. The closet is also filled with lots of my craft projects that I just don't do anymore but just can't let go of. Very sad. Actually, The Hubby suggested, after I mentioned, that I look into one of those closet organizers businesses. I don't need the closet for clothes as it is in "my room". I need it to be ORGANIZED which I'm having a hard time doing, especially with the boxes to the ceiling. It is overwhelming. I'm a little overwhelmed at the office too and B is trying to get me to get things together there. I was talking to my friend Bev today and admitted to her that I am just apathetic about everything lately. I don't want to do anything, absolutely nothing. I don't want to read, craft, work, nothing. She said that is sort of the beginnings of depression. I'm actually already there. As I have written before I have been so depressed for at least 2 years after the death of Momma, Gail and our little doggy all within a few months. I seem to rally and then I fall again and that is where I find myself again. I think there are a lot of things going on. I think I have the loss going on, the loss of my mother and one of my best friends and then I'm dealing with the flakiness of another dear friend to top it off. And to make matters worse I'm menopausal! That just makes my mind a jumble of feelings. Oh man I'm going to quit now as I'm making myself more depressed just writing about it. I think I might need to visit a therapist a bit, everyone else in my family has why not me.