Wow, This Grief Thing

Wow, oh wow.  Today I had to head to the office for a short bit, then the post office, bank, and studio.  Also on the agenda was a trip to pickup groceries and then to Daddy's house.  

The drive down the expressway for some reason I had this grief thing whack me upside the head and I caught myself in tears again.  Don't know where that came from but I'm sure I was running through stuff in my head and realized I was heading to a nearly empty house again.

All these wonderful things that we gave him in his house, the remodel we did a few years ago are gone, he is gone.  That life is gone.

Oh we three kids have taken a few things but the majority of the stuff in the house is gone now.  Salvation Army came yesterday and all the bags of clothing, boxes of kitchen stuff is gone

Now we are left with a lot of dust bunnies, scraps of paper, and the few odd stuff that the SA didn't, wouldn't take.  The couch and one of his chairs are still there because sweet Susie tore them up with her claws.  The garage is full of JUNK and just greasy stuff.  The bedrooms have mattresses and more dust.  We have ordered a dumpster and it will arrive tomorrow and my nephew and his friend will haul off the rest of the stuff that is trash.  He's also going to vacuum, clean, and generally spruce the place up.  He will even clean a wall that has some marks and repaint.  I love this kid.  He has been so helpful and we will pay them for their efforts.  I've even painted his dog and cat with another cat to go for him.  

What we will be left with are memories, good and bad.  We will put the house on the market by the first of next month and it will be gone shortly after.  Life moves on and I have no regrets about what we are doing.  It will just take time to get over the grief of not having a parent anymore, none.  That is kind a scary place to be, you kind of feel lost and flapping in the wind a bit.  I know it will get better, it already has.  You have to move on, move forward with your life, you children, your grandchildren.  Bye Daddy, Bye house, we love you forever.