Thursday Musings

 Good morning, how's it going in your world this fine Thursday morning.  My week is kind of bumpy and feels a bit disruptive but I can deal.  Monday was work at the office to check out the new printer that the girls set up.  The old one last week bit the dust and when I get a new one it also causes me to have to readjust all my printing needs.  By the way, the printer is AWESOME!  

I did workout on Monday morning with Af and the trainer but it was hard going and I just ended up walking the whole time.  I had not taken any Aleve for several days because of an upcoming doctor's appointment and bloodwork and I didn't want to skew the results, so I was in pain.  Tuesday was a day at the easel, not too successful but it was painting and that is what makes me very happy.  Then I had to rush off to the accountant to get our employees W-2's and quarter ends financial stuff.  This all meant that I didn't workout.  I'm really having a hard time trying to work all that back into my life again.  It was so easy before, to have exercise be the first thing I did in the morning, but this trainer doesn't get started till the middle of the day and I just can't seem to make that work for me.  It cuts into my painting time and I'm not too keen on that.  I did get back on my stationary bike on Tuesday for 5 minutes, which is a big deal for a gal who has a hip that doesn't work right anymore.  

Yesterday, Wednesday, was an 8 am doctor appointment.  I was not looking forward to stepping on the scale, not at all.  I have been tracking my food on NOOM and My Fitness Pal, in the free part, calories, and the scale is NOT BUDGING.  I am trying to be very truthful in logging, even with maybe drinking a cola or a handful of Cheez-Its, and that, I'm sure is why it is not budging.  I'm staying between 1,000-1,300 calories a day.  Salmon, cabbage soup, quinoa and over-easy eggs, lots of good food, organic, homemade food.  I'm sure when I move more it will start taking effect.  Today I know I'm supposed to go to the trainer again at 11:30 but, again, that taps into my time at the easel and I AM NOT HAPPY about that.  I'm trying to figure it all out so I can make myself happy.  I know that the exercise is what I need for my body but the easel is what I need for my mind!  Yesterday I thought I would make it to the easel but it was not to be.  I ended up at the office and my desk was absolutely knee deep in invoicing, mail, tax stuff.  I couldn't leave I had to get it done or I would be there all weekend trying to play catch-up.  By the time I was at a point that I was close to leaving The Hubby went to get us lunch and I could not say no to a greasy cheeseburger and onion rings.  Cheeseburgers are my all time favorite food, that would be a big FAT yes and I totally ate it.  My danger place is to be out at lunchtime, especially if I'm driving and have control whether my mind can say no!  Yesterday I had no choice because I had fasted for the bloodwork and was ravenous and was still delving deep into paperwork with a bit more to go.  I needed steady fingers to type the rest of the invoices.  By the time I left I was ready for a nap because I had been awake tossing and turning in bed from 3 to 5am when the alarm went off.  Sometimes I just don't sleep well and Tuesday night was that.  Oh, and the bloodwork came back awesome.  For a fat girl my cholesterol, triglycerides, etc., levels are all in the perfect ranges.  I couldn't be happier for that and it tells me I'm still okay, but I do worry about my glucose levels.  Right now they are all within the range of good but, my mother became diabetic, as were many of my grandparents, and I don't want to go there.  I know weight plays a huge part in that so that is one reason to lose the weight.  I did talk to the doctor about the horrible ortho visit with the idiot hip doctor telling me I was too fat and barely looked at my pain and how that visit really made me feel, but also glad I didn't push it because with Daddy passing I could not have managed it all and surgery/rehab.  He did set me up to visit a podiatrist about my ankle/foot/short leg issues.  He recommended to see about getting a lift in my shoe to help with my walking and I'm totally on board with that even if it means UGLY shoes.  Right now that is making things so much worse on my back and knees, wobbling and uneven in my gait.

Today I know there is a workout at 11:30 but my desire to hit the easel is too overwhelming.  I also have to go to the office YET AGAIN as many large checks have come in and I have to deposit them.  Tomorrow is payroll and there will be an all day invoicing typing day again as he finishes the billing cycle.  GOOD GRIEF, I am so ready to retire and be done with this business thing, he is too.  I also have to start in March I think signing up with Medicare!!!  Yup, it is that time of life and I'm a bit scared to start the process but I will.  There is still a possibly that we will still keep working a bit longer than expected because of a job we're on but The Hubby is not sure about any of it.  This really is a hard place to be in our life and not sure how to get off the self-employed merry-go-round but we will get through it.  

My Week

This week has been full, it's been emotional and BUSY!  I finished this lovely painting and plan on putting it in a judged show next month along with the next two.  I am immensely proud of these paintings and feel I've come to the next level in my artistic travels.  Next month they will be at The Hive in Jenks.  This month I have five paintings there for a show.  It's a great venue and you OUGHT to go sometime and check it out.  

"Oren's Flowers" 30x24 oil

"Jara's Tulips" 24x24 oil

"Picnic" oil

Today I deliver these skull paintings to The Cottage Gallery for a Skulls show, a prize money show!!! 

I've been hiding away actually in my studio.  Monday was a good day, and not so good.  I got up knowing I was to meet three old high school friends for breakfast and was really looking forward to it, but first was a stop to see my father in the nursing home he is at for his rehab after yet another stint in the hospital.  I'm not sure if I've written about it but he really came close to leaving this earth this time around, and he just does not get it.  Anyway, I went in knowing that Daddy had laid into my brother the day before, wanting to go home.  I knew, KNEW that when he would be feeling better, not good enough to really go home, but good enough that he would be itching to leave and head home to his chair and his cat.  Sure enough he went after my brother.  Bro walked out.  So going in on Monday morning I was ready, or so I thought.  I saw Daddy sitting in the commons area where the residents gather for their meals.  He was sitting with two lovely ladies that he has struck up a friendship with.  I sat down and said, "Hi Daddy." He quickly introduced me as his oldest daughter then he turned and started in on me yelling and banging his hand on his walker.  I was stunned even though I thought I was ready.  He yelled and glared at me and said, "I'M GOING HOME TODAY!" I told him that he was going to stay until he was ready, that he always goes home too soon and then rebounds because he went home too soon.  I told him that this was the third (maybe fourth) time since May he has been in the hospital and he was going to stay until the doctor said go, not him.  He glared and hammered on the walker and yelled again.  I told him he was going to have to quit yelling at me and Bro, that was not acceptable, that we were only trying to help him, that we love him.  That he was acting like a child and was going to stay.  He yelled and whammed his hand again.  I was so embarrassed and was crying and his table mates were whispering to me they were sorry.  His hollering made me realize that he thought we had brought him there to STAY!  Far from it.  I said, "Daddy, when the doctor signs the papers for you to go home, then I will take you home!" He stopped but not before I was so very, very hurt by his words.  His breakfast came, he turned around to eat and I told him I had to go to meet friends and he said "BYE" while eating, I left.  Here it is Saturday morning and I have not been back.  I'm still very hurt and frankly I'm embarrassed to even look him in the eye.  I don't want to face him and probably won't until he goes back home.  You can blame it on his older age, but in reality, that is the old Daddy, one I've seen many times in my life and you cannot blame it on his age, AT ALL!  I then found out that on Thursday my brother got a call from the place that said come quick.  Daddy was railing after someone about going home, that they said he was supposed to be released.  When he goes off, it is not good.  Sis was in the mix too.  Bro got there and figured out (and I told him Daddy only hears what he wants to hear) that he was to be released.  He neglected to glean on the words "released TUESDAY!" He only heard released and he went after that.  Bro let him rail and then said, "Are you through," then went on to explain.  That seemed to settle all of them down, then he left to go back to work.  Bro was in a good place with Daddy up until all this, now he's back to square one.  Daddy can be mean, always could, with words and THOSE EYES!  Scary stuff.  

Monday after the horrible visit I went on to meet three old high school friends and I didn't want it to happen but when I saw Pat and hugged her neck I broke down.  

I just sobbed.  Luckily, they are great friends and it felt good to vent. Pat is a doctor and she told me some stuff that I need to be on the look out for for Daddy.  First he should not even be on any kind of statin drugs at his age!  Second, he needs to find a gerontologist for his care.  Not sure if we can make that happen as Daddy LOVES his stupid doctor, and his stupid care is partly why we are here today.  

Sorry to vent, really, it's just been one of those weeks.

Bad Day Part 2

Yesterday I forgot to tell you how my day really got started in the shower.  While reaching for the 16 oz. bottle of shampoo it slipped out of my fingers and onto my left foot.  So now I have a matching set of foot injuries.  

But on to the rest of the story that was BAD DAY yesterday.  Oh and I have to say that to make all the appointments go smoothly I originally had my monthly facial/massage scheduled for Thursday, yesterday, so that was totally skipped.  But I digress.  It was set up that Bro would take Daddy to his echocardiogram of which the place called me to get insurance cards and then try to ding Daddy to pay up front, right.  Also, shifted the scheduling to allow for my GYN appointment that at the last minute was rescheduled.  Originally, this was all set up around making the GYN appointment and so The Hubby had to find another ride to the airport for his little trip, right.  Since I was not taking Daddy and Bro was I was expecting a report about how the test went but what I got was Bro telling me that there was not a test because Daddy's primary doctor did not order/refer test.  WHAT!!!!!  What was all the insurance crap and money up front crap and phone calls and the office WHEN I called to schedule telling me they had the doctor referral.  OH MY CRAP!  

Wait...this gets better.

Since I was not taking The Hubby to the airport the wife of the guy he is traveling with is taking them.  I take him to their house and kiss and hug goodbye, wave and I'm on my way home for a few days of me time.  I swing by and pick up a burger and plan on not leaving the house for a few days, painting and preparing high school reunion stuff.  Funny how all of a sudden plans change.  My phone rings and it's The Hubby.  They CANCELLED all flights to Dallas because of the storms in Dallas.  So they, The Hubby, his traveling buddy and his wife are all coming to our house to cook a steak and figure out what they are going to do.  This also means they missed their connecting 16 hour flight that all has to be rebooked.  K...I've already moved into comfy clothes, snuggled in to watch TV and veg but okay.  So now I have company and we're cooking and both guys are frantically trying to rebook and figure out how all of this is going to work out.  

Today, my plan was to sleep in and as you might figure out did not happen as it is 4 am when I awoke.  My mind is whirring with all of this crap.  My plan was to paint this morning but instead it is to chew out some butt of someone in a medical office, or two.  My plan was to have a nice Friday night of watching Netflix movies, but instead will have dinner at the traveling buddy's house where there will probably be dance practicing, of which I HATE!  Funny how my plans always get jacked up so badly.  Stay tuned as I'm sure there may be a Bad Day part 3.  I sincerely hope not. 

Smash Your Boob Day

Today may not be the National Smash Your Boob Day, but it's mine.  I don't have to be at the office for a few hours so I decided to take a bit of time and do some beauty treatment before the smash part of my day.  Lovely huh!  I know that in a couple of weeks it is the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure here in Tulsa so I'm right in line for my duty as a woman and getting my boobs smashed today as should everyone!  So go, make your appointment now.  

Monday and Rain

I was back on the treadmill this morning and boy do my legs feel it.  It's all good and will just propel me to more weight loss, I hope. 

Last night I drifted off to sleep just after the weather report and I could have sworn he said light showers and then they would be out of here.  I was awakened about 11:30 to the sound of torrential rain, thunder and lightening, the sounds magnified because we have a plywood door over the bathroom entrance to the outside.  I knew The Hubby was going to beside himself because he spent a good part of Sunday digging dirt and cleaning out debris from the trenches around the new addition where the french drain is.  We are waiting for the brick mason to come and do the foundation part and brick.  What a horrible muddy mess.  I realized The Hubby was not in bed so got up to find him in front of the computer checking out the National Weather Service website.  When we finally settled back into bed I couldn't go to sleep.  The rain had originally invaded my dreams and now it was keeping me awake.  I was worrying about it all.  I was also thinking about the race and my Daddy and the surgery.  So much on my mind that I didn't stop tossing and turning till about 2 am.  Drat!  I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get up, but no problem.  I thought about staying in bed but knew I had too much to do this week.  Sometimes I think sleep just gets in the way of the stuff I want and have to do.  Do you ever get that feeling?  It's funny that when you are young you crave that sleep, but as I get older I don't need it quite as much and sometimes an hour or so and I'm good for a long time.  Oh well, onward with the day and the week as we move to the next phase of Daddy's journey through hip replacement HELL. 

Daddy, Family, Friends and Diet Update

This week has been for me yet today was for Daddy.  Tuesday I got the gray washed out of my hair.  Wednesday my toes and fingernails were made ship-shape.  Today I had a facial and massage.  Yup this week was for me.  I had to run to get him after the facial and massage to drive him back to Tulsa then back home and then me back home.  The doctor said the wound looks good...YUCK... yeah it does...blech...he has a whole in his hip at least 3 inches and as deep as 4 inches...blech!  He has a thing called a wound back attached with a pump that pumps...blech...I got to see them put a new patch on him, taping it to his poor irritated skin.  I felt so bad for him when they messed up and had to pull it off again.  My poor, poor Daddy.  At least it was good news in that it is healing very nicely and there is no sign of any kind of infection.  The surgeon want us to still go back to the hip doctor to let him evaluate.  There is/was a possibility that the hip will have to be taken out for a period of time and replaced but the surgeon did not think that would be necessary but wanted the hip doctor to determine that.  So next Monday it is to the hip doctor and the next week it is back to the surgeon.  Oh my.  Sis had her stress test and she is A-OK and ready to head back to work to the dismay of Sis.  She doesn't want to work anymore but if you're healthy and need the money...well, get back to it.  Still waiting for Bro to have his stress test to make sure he didn't have a heart attack.  Whey, I'm tired.

Also have tried for nearly two weeks to get hold of my dear friend C.  I have left many messages on her cell phone, voice and written and emailed her, nothing.  I was beginning to get a bit worried about her but I finally called her daughter and she said that she has hardly been using her phone, even leaving it at home.  I'm worried about her.  She is sleeping a lot, still in pain from the surgery in what July or so.  Should be on the mend by now I think.  Hey, I'm not a doctor or her but I'm just saying.  Still will worry. 

The diet is going quite well, really.  I've not had much of a problem with it and exercise is great.  I'm kicking it.  This weekend may be a challenge but I shall get through it!  I promise! 

An Unexpected Day

Yesterday just didn't pan out like it was supposed to.  I went workout as usual then rushed home to shower and head out for my monthly massage and facial.  That is something I really look forward to but it was not to be yesterday.  I headed out the door at 8:30 for the 9 am appointment all fresh and clean when my cell phone rang.  It was the place where I go to be pampered and the office manager told me that my wonderful massage therapist had been rushed to the hospital.  Oh my goodness.  That meant the massage was off and since the facial was for 10 am I decided to not go to that one too.  I instead opted to visit my Daddy. 

Daddy's been going through some stuff with his new hip.  He has gotten an infection on it and has spent two solid days doing bone scan things to see what is really going on.  Really scary because the doctors said that if they can't get it cleared up then the new hip will have to come out for a few months.  That would mean immobility and a stay in a special care hospital.  My Sis, is not up with that.  She is adamant that if he ever needs any kind of "nursing home" care that he would live with her.  Uh, that is NOT going to happen.  Her home is in a bit of chaos right now and he can't deal with it.  Anyway, the visit with him yesterday was nice.  He's good except for the hip.  He has absolutely no health concerns except for arthritis, bad hearing and the hip for a 75 year old guy. 

Back to my day yesterday.  After the visit with Pops I headed to the office to spell B while she had to go teach.  The good thing was that I painted for a couple of hours till the end of the day.  I had to stay for the nephew to come and work on my work computer.  A few days ago I posted about the check disk message and he said that meant the hard drive was getting ready to go.  Yesterday he came by at 4:30 to install a new hard drive, I left at 6 while he was still trying to find the driver with no success.  I came home to wait for The Hubby as we were going to go out to eat, the only time this week.  I waited and waited and waited.  Finally, at 8:30 I knew the out to eat plan was out so I scrounged around and made tuna salad.  I called The Hubby to see how much longer and he said that the nephew was going to have to TAKE my computer but would bring it back today.  Thank goodness payroll was last week!  Scary that my accounting walked out the door! 

While whipping up the tuna salad a mosquito must have gotten inside and was buzzing my face.  I slapped it a bit too hard and my hand, fingers came down on the edge of the cabinet.  I hit the right hand ring finger knuckle so hard that I just knew it was broken.  OHHHHH!!!!!  Oh my goodness, it was so sore but I could move it, thank goodness.  This morning it is swollen, stiff, and a tad blue but I can move it, just not grasp anything.  I thought about having it x-rayed but I think it is just severely bruised.  I was also supposed to work out this morning, cardio day but with all the stuff yesterday I also contended with a tummy ache all day long.  It was really weird and it is still a bit on the edge so I'm opting to take it easy.  Yesterday was not at all what I planned. 

What Is A Housewife

This is a challenge from the new place I love to go...The Real Housewives of Oklahoma...I have been challenged to write about this subject...

"What Is A Housewife." 

First let us find the definition to that heavily weighted word, housewife according to Wikipedia.  It refers to the housewife as a woman not employed outside the home and manages the home.  That is all well and good.  My mother was a housewife as was my grandmother although they both worked at different times when necessary before children arrived.  I used to threaten The Hubby that when I die I do not want my obituary to read "she was a housewife."  I'm not a housewife.  I promised that I would come back to haunt him!  I work outside the home, sort of.  I work at our office and when the girls were young the office was in the home.  Actually, we are all housewives if you take the definition from Wikipedia to heart, we manage the home too.  We work outside the home and inside the home.  We do it all.  I'm not sure I really like the term, housewife.  I've done it all.  I work.  I've raised two daughters.  I went to college while raising those two girls.  I also worked in our business, still do for nearly 31 years.  I've managed the house and paid the household bills along with the work responsibilities.  Hey, I think I'm tired.  Housewife, I'm not sure I've managed to figure out that term myself.  I've cooked, cleaned, done the laundry.  I've taken the kids to the doc and the pets to the vet.  I've been a nurse and caretaker. I've championed my girls at their school and extra activities.  I've been a chauffeur and WalMart runner at the last minute kind of gal.  I've been ready for the family dinners at our house with a smile on and a killer meal to boot.  I've been the glue for the family, especially the extended family.  I have been the wife, the patient wife who is there for her guy.  His dinner is kept warm for hours and when he walks in the door I'm not mad but caring for his long day.  I am happy to be with him, to sit and watch mindless TV, to talk about his day.  I am there in good and bad.  I am more that a mere housewife, I am woman, hear me roar!  Oops, better get off the high pedestal that I've climbed up on and get back down to earth.  Oh gosh, I don't know if I can define what a housewife is, I just know who I am and I am much, much more that a housewife, like many, many of the women today.  We need to coin a new phrase, don't you think!  I can't even think of one word that would fill that in so housewife I guess I will stay.

Ultrasound update

Just as I thought....everything is NORMAL!!! I'm NORMAL.....

Ultrasound

Since my appointment was early this AM I decided I would not be able to squeeze workout in, but I did plan on at least catching an extra 30 minutes of shut-eye.  That didn't happen, at least the extra sleep, and I needed it after last night.  My allergies don't bother me until I doze off to sleep and wakeup coughing from the flim very early in night-night time.  So last nights sleep was not good and the bladder didn't cooperate nor did Clayton.  He wanted to be petted and loved after The Hubby fixed his breakfast.  Rats...just get up and get on with the day. 

The Imaging Center wanted me to arrive 30 minutes early and drink 32 ounces of water for my ultrasound of the "female" region.  I waddled in 20 minutes early, sloshing as I went.  The place is nice and seems to run very efficently.  I brought my new book to read, The Time of My Life by Patrick Swayze & Lisa Niemi but only managed to read the prologue.  I paid my $500 deductible (ouch) and was very shortly ushered into the ultrasound room by a darling young lady.  She was the nicest thing and just lovely.  In fact I told her she looked like the actress Heather Tom from The Bold & The Beautiful (before playing Victoria on The Young and The Restless.)  I was ready to get on with the picture taking so I could get rid of coffee and 32 ounces of water.  She then informed me that because of the spotting that they wanted to do the internal ultrasound so that I could empty the bladder!  WHAT!  She questioned me a bit more and then decided to do a quick look-see before the emptying.  What a relief when I was able to "let it go."  ......(excuse me...all this talk of full bladder and I have to run.......BRB)..................................... okay, I'm back.  As I lay on the table she shows me the ultrasound probe that was sheathed in a glorified condom with gel...lovely.  The technician probed and probed and I could tell that the coffee and water were making a comback...a little uncomfortable.  She suggested that I empty again which I complied.  Back on the table, probe reinserted she began the look-see again.  Then, with probe still inside she wanted to do the topside ultrasound to try and find my ovaries.  I suggested that that they may have dried up and she said that wasn't such a bad thing.  First good feel about the whole thing I had.  Finally, the test and picture taking was done and I was on my way.  I went to the little girls room again, then stopped at the house for another visit and get my bowling ball for tonight and then to office where I've made a visit there too.  In the mornings, on a normal day, my bladder gives me a run for my money. 

So this afternoon or tomorrow I am expecting a phone call from the doc!  Wish me luck that everything is all shriveled nicely and I can go on with this menopause thing. 

Dermatologist Saga - Part II

To see Part I of my incident at the Dermatologist read this then you can go on to read this post. I wrote a letter to my dermatologist about what happened with his PA and the assistant. Last night after I had turned my phone off my dermatologist called and left me a message to call him back which I did at 8 am this morning. Thank goodness he was very upset about what happened to me and vowed to get to the bottom of the incident. I am very glad and will, from now on only book an appointment to see him instead of the PA, unless I'm very desperate. The rest of the conversation left me absolutely scared out of my wits and very anxious. He was more concerned with the problem with the MRSA and wants me to see an ear, nose and throat guy and possibly an infectious disease doctor. YIPES! I really don't want to do that and it scares the bejeezes out of me. My gut is in knots right now. He will call back tonight and wants his office to order me up a antibiotic ointment for my nose and ears, yuck. There might be another round of different antibiotics eventually if I have another outbreak and possibly a stay in the hospital and IV antibiotics. OH MY GOD!!!!! Yeah, I'm pretty scared about it all but we'll see if I can keep this stuff at bay on my own with my probiotics, vitamins, Omega 3-6-9, vitamin C, etc. I just don't want to go that route if I can help it. My God I'm really in a little bit of a panic.

I am so MAD

I am so very mad at my dermatologist office. I went to the appointment and was a little early as I usually am. I was escorted into the room by the assistant to the Physicians Assistant and she asked me what I was there for. (Well, obviously I am here for the icky red eye lid that is glaring at you!) "My eye lid. But I also have another MRSA spot that maybe he can look at to make sure it is healing properly."

She doesn't look up but says, "He will look at that if he has time as only the eye was scheduled for this time slot. You may have to make another appointment."

WHAT.....WHAT.....WHAT!!!!!

Then the PA comes in and he looks carefully at my eye, tells me he will prescribe something and yadda, yadda, yadda...While he writing the script I proceed to tell him about the MRSA and yadda, yadda, yadda. He never looks up but continues to write. He never asks a question. When he is through writing he looks up, hands me the script and tells me how to use it, if it doesn't get better in a week or so to call. Tells me goodbye and walks out the door. I am left sitting on the papered table, holding the blue prescription paper, speechless while the PA's assistant is left watching me. I pick up my stuff and walk out the door feeling so angry I could hardly walk. What the hell just happened. Why not just look at the MRSA. Why do I have to make another appointment when I'm already there and he only spent 5 minutes with me. WHAT THE HELL! I already have a problem with the stupid receptionist people and their awful phone system that you can hardly hear on, now this. I may have to write a letter to the doctor as I've been a patient for over 20 years. On top of it all I really liked, I said LIKED the guy but now I'm not so sure. I am not a happy camper at all.

Lab results

The doctors office just called and my lab results were fabulous and all within the range of normal! My chest x-ray was good. That one always is a little scary for me since my mother died of emphysema and her father had lung cancer. I was never a smoker but was brought up breathing second-hand smoke. I'm still good!

Today I start bowling on a league again. I didn't start when the session started last month because I was not happy about my team they put me on last year. One of the ladies was fine but the other one drove me CRAZY! I found out last week that she was booted off the entire league. There was a problem with uh, embezzlement but it was handled. I was asked to be on another team of two guys, twin guys that never bowl anything under 200. No pressure there. I bowl about 140 average. It should be fun, I hope.

The Hubby and I also just got back from yet another West Cost Swing dance lesson. I'm telling you this guy is just eat up with dance. I really do not like it. I do not want to learn it. I am not comfortable with it. I am doing it because I love my husband and want to support him but I am going to have to draw the line on showing up at a group beginners session. It is because there will be other people there and I will have to dance with other people. Maybe it is because I don't have the self-confidence in myself. I really think I can dance pretty good and our private instructor says I'm an excellent follower. She makes me feel I am really pretty good, if I have a good lead. I think so too but I'm just not sure about inter-mingling with other novices. I think The Hubby has ideas of grandeur about the whole thing clicking in his head and he'll be this wonderful dancer. I hate to tell him this but NOT! He will have to take lessons for years and even then it may not happen but he has hope, I don't. Poor guy. Again I love him but when do I tell him that it is not going to happen.

Doctor Update

I made it to Dr. L's office right on time this morning. Of course the first thing to do is to step on the scale...damn it...I gained 2 pounds since I last saw him. That just can't be except I did have to take 5-1/2 weeks off being sick so I guess it took its toll on me. I will just have to keep working. My blood pressure was great and he spent a good 15 minutes just chatting about me, my life and telling me some good places to eat while we are in New York this weekend. I so love my doctor and it's also nice he's good eye candy. I was then sent to have my usual x-ray of my chest, blood work, oh and I got my flu shot so I should be good for the year.

After all that I decided to visit my daddy since I had not been there for a couple of weeks. He looks really good and is doing well but I can't say that for his poor little cat, Peaches the demon cat. She has been sick and is still very unsteady on her feet. I'm afraid Daddy won't take her to the vet because he is afraid that she may be Really sick and he can't deal with that. It would devastate him to lose that cat. He's the only one that loves it. She's a krazy kat!

Hives

This is the new form of torture my body has bestowed upon me, hives. I have apparently developed an allergy to the antibiotic that I have been on for my infection. I was with my friend checking out venues for her daughters wedding when all of a sudden the bend of my arm started sort of itching. We had just seen a couple of spiders and wondered if I had been bitten but as we were getting back in the car my backside started itching. We made it back to her house and I went into the bathroom and unzipped my jeans to see my shrinking tummy covered in hives. I knew exactly what was happening. It was 4:45 and I hurriedly called my doc and they told me to immediately stop taking the antibiotic and that they would call in an antihistamine. I drove right to the pharmacy and found out that it was not done, arriving about 6pm. I went on home as my tummy was getting a little upset and then checked online and even called the pharmacy at 7:15 and Still no call from the doctor. I got desperate and took a couple of Benedryl and about 8:15 I checked online and there it was. Wait, I already have a prescription for that, I call it my itchy medicine so I ran in there and took one, then at 10 I took another. The hives were melding into one huge hive and I was almost totally covered. I am miserable right now. I woke up about 4 and tried to sleep but the itching had started again so it was up to pop a couple of pills. It is better but that is relative as I am one huge bump!

It's quiet here.

I am writing this at the cabin, technically neighbors cabin using Grumps Internet connection across the street. Harry and Jimbo are gone for the day, actually until tomorrow morning along with Sin and Bare. So it will be very quiet here. The Hubby left to go back to town this morning and won't be back so I'm by myself for the rest of the day and night. It's so quiet here. The holiday is over and it is hot so most are not up here. There are no golf carts zooming by and construction is done for the weekend and since it is so hot and dry the grass is not growing so no mowing. I hear birds and bugs buzzing around. In fact a little hummingbird just buzzed my head under this umbrella and just hung out and stared at me for a few seconds.
I'm going to use this time today to:
* Write this entry
* Write in my paper journal
* Read blogs
* Write letters
* Read my book, finish it and start another
* and tonight maybe watch a movie, The Kite Runner

It's quiet here!
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It has been an awful week for me, medically. I had some issues, skin issues in the nether regions that caused me lots of sleepless nights, pain and just plain fear. On one of those nights of sleeplessness I started going over my history of skin eruptions and found a big correlation - STRESS and how I handle it.

1970 - My great grandfather passed away and it was my first funeral. I broke out in horrific hives that apparently were partially internal which made me vomit a lot along with the itching. Stress event 1

1970 - My first formal dance. My date had to bring me home early because I broke out in hives and hives just don't wear well with a formal gown. Stress event 2

2005 - My reluctant acceptance to do the books/accounting of our lake homeowners financial stuff. I developed a rash all over my upper half of my body, especially on my chest. Itch city and many, many visits to the dermatologist and lots of money spent to have it completely gone 2 days after I resigned the position. I was not sleeping and was a basket case with the heaviness of the responsibility of the job, a volunteer job. Stress event 3

Jan-Feb 2008 - B & B2 planning and having a wedding...my arms were in a constant itchy rash. Wedding over and within a month it cleared up on it's own. I also was sick as a dog with a cold and no voice. Stress event 4

July 5, 2008 - The Hubby is in a very scary fireworks accident which results in a stay in ICU Burn on a vent for 3 days. Stress event 5

I was very strong and calm and handled it all well. The ensuing result is my stress popped out in skin issues and painful skin ulcers in places that are not seen. All this was made worse by my regular doc being on vacation, my GYN is on vacation, my dermatologist is on vacation. I was told to go to a minor emergency. I'm NOT taking my nether region to a minor emergency! Stress is piled onto stress as the skin eruption is getting worse and spreading and I'm even more stressed by this and the worry that I'm not sleeping and I'm very uncomfortable and FREAKED OUT. Finally, after crying on the phone to a nurse in the dermatologist office I am allowed to see the PA, which I thought was a woman. When I did meet Terry, it was a guy, but I was that point of ANYTHING! I'm healing with tons of antibiotics but this has all made me think about how I deal with stress. When The Hubby was first in the emergency room on the vent and I was sitting there watching him all alone I had the intense need for pen and paper. I NEEDED to write what I was feeling but there was none to be had. Maybe if I had written my feelings instead of bottling them up, or even if I had fallen apart the stress might not have manifested itself in the skin stuff. If, if, if. Well, I'm writing now and I'm going to have to keep a little notebook in my purse for the next stress event.

Weight Loss

I'm pretty excited today. I had to go to the doctor just to make sure I was doing good. I had not been since November, about 2 months before I started really working on the weight loss. I forgot what I weighed when I saw him and now I'm down even farther that I thought...18 pounds. YEA!!! I am pretty stoked but the amount and vow to continue with it. Tonight I found out our walking group is doing the same trek which means another 5K tonight. My poor aching feet. I'm not sure I'm going if it rains but I will if it is clear.

Can we say colonoscopy!

Tomorrow The Hubby has his first colonoscopy. He has left the office to go home and start drinking the "stuff" that make him not want to leave a particular room! I say, "See ya later." I am left to man...woman the office today. Tomorrow morning we have to BE at the hospital at 6am. That's really no sweat since we get up at 5 every morning. I just need about 30 more minutes to eat my oatmeal and shower. I'm feeling a little guilty because I will be eating in front of him but it can't be helped, I have to have sustance. My colonoscopy will probably be this fall so it will be his turn to be the DD (designated driver).

I finished Harry Potter last night. Stayed up till midnight then up at 5 am for Jazzercise. A little sleepy here! I liked the ending but it was a little slow going in the book. I thought Rowling wrapped it up nicely for the kiddos reading it. It was also, I think, the first time I saw a "bad" word in her books. It was bastard. Curious. Well, anyway now I'm on to The Queen of the South. I've had to put Paula Deen's book on hold while I finished Harry and the bookclub choice. A reading we will go, A reading we will go, Hi Ho the Darrio A Reading we will go! I'm a little sleep deprived......