Now I know why!

I have figured out the reason for the depression.

I was able to get away for the weekend early on Friday to the cabin. YIPEE! I arrived and enjoyed an afternoon sitting in the screened in porch reading and alone. The Hubby would arrive in the late afternoon as we had a dinner/birthday party to go to. The dinner was great fun but I was just exhausted and still feeling in the dumps. Saturday morning came and I was up and on the porch again to enjoy journaling and reading. About 10 am I headed to the little girls room and who should join me but Mother Nature. Aw, that explains a lot of my mood swings, depression, crying, and general bitchiness. I have not met the woman since January so it was a complete shock to encounter her but I should have known. I couldn't believe it.

Last night a group of us went on a ride on the pontoon boat that Bare and Sin own and watched the sunset.

It was quite awesome as the water is so high that no one is on the river.
This morning I was up at 7am (slept in a couple of hours) and on the porch to read and journal but the morning was moving fast. I knew the guys from the boat last night were planning on going jug fishing this morning but of the four of them three were a lot drunk and I wasn't sure they would remember the plan. But, at 8am the phone rang and Bare was next door calling all the guys out to play, with bloodshot eyes. So off they have gone fishing on this absolutely beautiful morning. The plan for the girls this afternoon is to take a floating cruise on the pontoon and sunbathe but I'm begging off because I don't thing my body will allow that luxury today. So I will sit in my hammock in my bathing suit and maybe turn the sprinkler on myself occassionaly. It is a beautiful morning with a cool breeze, wonderful sunshine and peace an quiet. Next weekend won't be the case as the families and extended famlies and friends will descend on this most precious real estate and I will want to hide in my cabin. I hate all the hoopla that goes with the 4th, like the concept but hate the bigillion people and noise that comes with it. Here is a short video of my morning so far:

Depressed

I'm depressed, I'm sad and just in the dumps this week. I miss my Momma. I miss my best friend. I'm lonely. I feel I'm at the bottom of emotions this week. I don't know what has set me off but probably I have never gotten over the immense loss of the two in a few short months 2 years ago.

Yesterday I tried to get hold of a few people to go to lunch with no luck. My cell phone has not rung all week long except for my daughters. I am lonely for friends. I miss my friends. I miss someone to talk to everyday or so.

Tonight The Hubby and I went out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, The Garlic Rose. {On a side note the group Hanson came in and sat at a table within eye shot.} On our way to the restaurant The Hubby asked what was wrong and I told him, "I'm missing Momma and Gail", but the words were choked. I just couldn't get them out. I was emotionally raw. We talked about it a little at dinner and he seemed understanding. After dinner we decided to run through Utica Square to check out the band and the people. As luck would have it we found a great parking spot and walked over to the band and people area, LOTS of people. It was so very hot I could hardly stand it. I was wearing my jeans and socks and tennis shoes, not the wardrobe for standing in the sun and sweating. Since I had sweat buckets this morning I was not in the mood to sweat again. The Hubby kept hounding me to dance but I was not in the mood. I was not going to dance and shake my bootie in front of all of Tulsa, especially feeling as depressed as I was, AND sweaty. Finally, after standing there for an hour I was able to convince him to leave, but he was giving me crap for not dancing. He said he thought dancing might be the perfect remedy for my depression. WHAT! Really. I don't think so. I know he loves dancing but I don't. He said that making my husband happy might be a nice thing to do and I told him that I was going to concentrate on making ME happy first. It pissed him off but I don't care. It is NOT about him. It is about me for once. I'm tired of knuckling under what The Hubby wants. It is my turn to be happy and dancing is not going to cut it. Dancing...Bah humbag!

I think I'll take the compliment!

I took the day off, yes I took the whole day off today. I first ventured to the gardens, as we once called them. The gardens are the fresh produce markets, well, not so fresh and homegrown anymore. When I was a kid we went to the gardens to help my Momma and Granny pick things like green beans, tomatoes and cucumbers. There was a favorite place called Boggs that was the best. The ones now are just not that great anymore and ship in more than they grow. I should have just stayed closer to my own grocery store to get fresh vegetables as I was very disappointed by the long trip. It was also very sad for me as I had not been since Momma was alive and it just brought me down.

I called a few friends to see if they wanted to have lunch but I got hold of NO ONE! Another sad time. I'm lonely. So I decided to stop in at Windsor Market, a decorating and (some) antiques store where my brother-in-law has a booth. I found a few things to buy and then decided to call my mother-in-law and see if she was home. I had not been to her new apartment since she moved in and wanted to see her place so I visited and then took myself to lunch.

Now comes the fun. I went to the store and while walking the aisles I notice the new Bud Light Lime...YUMMMMYYYY!!! I put some in my cart and finished shopping and went to check out. This WONDERFUL check out lady started giggling and told me she needed to see my ID. What...I stood there for a minute and she just kept standing there smiling at me and said it again. Well, okay. She said I had such a youthful face she needed to see it. I pulled it out and showed it to her and her eyes bugged out and she said we were the same age and that I looked wonderful and young. I told her thank you and she again said I looked so young. I really don't know if she was kidding or just being a very nice lady but I think I'll take this compliment after a downer day.

My To Do List

My to do list for today:
· Eat lunch (check)
· Clean out refrigerator (check)
· Clean out Pantry (check)
· Put away laundry
· Clean out guest closet
· Clean out my closet (shift summer/winter to guest closet)
· Clean out “my” room closet

OK the first three I accomplished today and I will probably get to the laundry later on tonight. The last three will take me a lot more time probably a day for each, whenever I find the time.


There was a little hitch in the cleaning out the fridge. The stupid thing is two years old and if you leave the door open for 10 minutes it shuts off and has to, well, re-boot itself and as of three hours later it has yet to do that. I’m ticked off but I thought I had better leave it alone and let it do its thing. The pantry took me about 3 hours to get all of it out and then re-stocked. I threw away four bags of trash and old, very old cake mixes and hard as a rock brown sugar. It looked as if I cornered the market on sugar and flour. The pantry was loaded down with 20 pounds of sugar and 20 pounds of flour that I bought in anticipation of baking for Christmas (we don’t even eat sugar here.) Well, since we were out of power for what 13 days just before Christmas there was no baking except fruitcake one night.

Today is also my baby’s 23rd birthday. Yes, 23 years ago today I was in labor. Not a long one really, 9 hours from the first contraction started. She had a rough few minutes start because the cord was wrapped around her throat and she was not breathing, a blue baby. But within seconds there was a cry and we knew all was well. She is a beautiful, beautiful talented girl who has a heart of gold. Happy Birthday A…I love you dearly…Love Momma

Saturday and Sunshine

It is 9:32 am Saturday morning and I am sitting in my favorite chair in town. We didn't go to the lake/cabin as B had a girls weekend at our place. The sunshine is just streaming through the dirty windows of my room but will I clean them, I don't think so. It is quiet except for my fingers tapping away here on the keyboard. I've got my I-Tunes up listening to some relaxing spa music but I can also hear the washer chug-chugging along with my clothes and Neo the canary is trying to outdo the sounds of a household. The Hubby had to take a drive to the cabin as there is a board meeting up there this morning but he will be back for the birthday for our great-niece this afternoon.

This has been a fairly easy week with not much happening. The MIL finally is settling down in her new digs and unpacking boxes. The service that is running her estate sale at the house has been hard at it with today the last day of the sale. The Hubby said that it has been going well and thinks nearly all of the leftover stuff will be gone. The realtor called The Hubby yesterday and said there was a really, really good nibble on the house and so he's milking it and hopefully there will be a contract in a few days. It is about time. The house has sat on the market since October 2007. It really is a great house but she put it on the market at the wrong time and then the ice storm, then the rains, then the economy. It was really just bad timing but it will sell, eventually. The Hubby has been over there many, many nights and days trying to fix different things and he is just exhausted. The middle bro has been there too helping her with the move, he's a designer, that was his expertise. I helped with the packing and the move. The oldest bro and his wife have not even peeked their little eyelids into the whole operation. Oh I will not start there.

Tomorrow will be my little girls birthday. Twenty-three years ago I was approaching the birth of a most beautiful girl, A. I am very proud of her and miss her terribly as she lives in California. She is making her way in life and that is what you raise them to do. When I had my children I just knew from the start that I was raising them to leave home. I had to make sure to teach them about life and ALL the little things in it, but that is a lot of stuff and a lot can be missed. I knew that I/we needed to teach them to be self-sufficient and pioneers in their own lives. Both of my girls can manage quite will on their own. A struggles a little more than B but there is 6 years difference between them. The thing I really missed out with is a little more about managing money and what all of it entails. I realized yesterday that A is getting paid like contract labor and warned her that she needed to put money back to pay her income taxes. That is just one of those gliches you find out about and don't really think about. I'm just glad I'm here for consulting for my girls. That is what my parents and grandparents were there for and it was wonderful.

Gosh I miss my Mommma. When my girls were little I would pack them up in the car early in the morning on Saturdays and we would spend the entire day at Momma and Daddy's. We would sometimes spend the day in their wonderful back yard where Daddy had set up a swing set or play in the kiddie pool or hose. We would garden in their large garden where my kids got to learn why a snapdragon was called a snapdragon or pull carrots, dig potatoes, or pick red ripe tomatoes. Sometimes we would make a trip to the greenhouse to find the new plant for the season to or go to the gardens for fresh produce. We would get bushels of green beans or corn and go back to the house to process all of it. I learned to can green beans (wouldn't do it by myself today) or blanch corn and cut it off the ear in anticipation of the coming Thanksgiving and fresh creamed corn. We cooked, napped, laughed, and my girls got to know the absolute joy of their grandparents. My grandmother was still alive too and the girls would take turns staying the night with her, mostly B as she was older. Grandparents are awesome. I miss those days. It was a rich upbringing for my girls and for me.

I had that kind of experience when I was little going to my Greatgranny's. There are pictures on the side of my blog of the house and outhouse. They did not have a working bathroom till I was a senior in high school. In the summers the bath was taken at the creek in ice cold water. Food was an interesting array of garden fresh vegetables and a variety of meats that consisted of squirrel, venison, rabbit or fish. Sometime I will write more of those experiences here as I could make this entry go on forever. Keep reading

Daytime Emmy's

Okay, okay...I'm a fan and I can't help it. I am watching the Daytime Emmy's right now and one of my very favorite actors just WON! My favorite soap opera's are As The World Turns and Guiding Light but I don't get to watch often anymore. I remember my mother watching both of these shows when I was about 4 years old so I'm a long time fan. Anyway, my favorite actor on Guiding Light was Tom Pelphrey. He is no longer on the show but occasionally he pops back on for a few days and I will tape them. He is a magnificent actor and on the left side of my blog is a clip of the most powerful scenes he was in when his wife died on the show. You can get to the end of the clip to see the most powerful scene, but WOW. Every time I see it I am moved. I guess you would have to see the whole maturation of the character of Jonathan he played to truly understand the power of his performance. It was absolutely incredible. He played a bad boy which is probably the attraction, who knows. I hope you take a look.

I Just Witnessed

I just witnessed a nasty, nasty wreck in midtown. I was sitting behind a large SUV waiting to turn left. Another smaller car like a Avalon or such was facing the SUV wanting to turn his left. I saw the smaller car begin to try to inch to turn left and so I instinctively looked in my rear view mirror and saw a Tahoe or Suburban hauling ass on the right side lane. I started yelling, "NO, NO, NO!" and waved my hands but there was nothing that could be done. The impact was massive and it spun the smaller car completely around and when it stopped all kinds of fluids were running out of the car and the whole front was smashed. A man from a side street ran quickly to the smaller car and opened the door. An elderly man was sitting there dazed and the airbag was deployed. I looked to my right and the Tahoe/Suburban had been hurled into a yard where it had smashed into a small tree and then a house. I drove on through because there were tons of people jumping out of cars at that time that could help. In the other car the driver was sitting in the seat with the airbag deployed and was obviously unconscious to the point I could not tell if it was a man or a woman as the head was back. I was terribly shaken and called The Hubby to tell him to not go that way home and he yelled that someone should have stayed to tell the police what had happened. I felt that was directed towards me. There were lots of other cars/people there that had witnessed the accident and I didn't see the need to stay and back up more traffic. I was torn about what to do but I didn't need The Hubby yelling. Maybe I should have stayed but I just didn't know. That is one of the first accidents I have ever witnessed. Was I bad for not jumping out and assisting? Was it my duty as a bystander to get involved? Granted I was a witness but there were other people. Now I feel horrible for not staying. I just don't know what was right. My philosophy is to move the traffic on. Too many people can muck up things, rubber-necking and all but I was a witness. I just don't know. I told The Hubby that even if the Tahoe was not speeding it was going to be a nasty wreck because it was just inevitable by the way the scenario was laid out. Not good. The moral of this is NEVER, EVER, if you are in that situation turn if you are the smaller car, it can never be good, just wait.

Typical Day

My typical day actually started last night about 11:30 pm. I had dosed off to sleep about 10:15 just after the weather forcast. The Hubby had fallen asleep on the couch again and that is where I left him. Usually I turn off my cell phone but I was very rudely awakened with the little sing-song I have for A in Californina and mind you there is a 2 hour time difference, so it was about 9:15 there. I jumped out of bed and grabbed the TV control and tried to mess with the TV which was off and then realized that it was my phone. The Hubby gets very much in a terrible, hateful mood if the phone rings after 9 pm so I was worried he would come flying in the bedroom to growl about people not knowing what time it was. I was spared his rampage as it was the cell phone and he didn't hear it. A was crying but I was not awake enough to show much concern. The conversations I am now having with my children really surprise me. She was upset that she might have a...wait for it...hemorroid and her stomach was upset. This child has always had problems with those bodily functions so this was not a new subject for us. I told her she probably needed to see a doctor. She freaked and said, "RIGHT NOW." I told her to calm down and that it could wait at least until tomorrow. I wasn't really a sympathic listener to her plight, especially from so far away in the middle of the night. I calmed her down and she said good night quickly. Then I thankfully trudged back to my comfy bed and lay there tossing and turning for two hours. I couldn't go back to sleep. Crap!


I had to get up as usual for Jazzercise and another personal training session so I've had about 4 hours sleep. YAAWWWN. I did make it to both workouts. In between the workouts I came home for breakfast and to put on a pot of beans in the crockpot, but just before I left for the personal trainer I realized the stupid crockpot was not on. I tried another outlet but dummy me didn't change walls, a breaker was tripped. I just thought after PT I would go to Target and get a new crockpot. It's pretty cool with three different size crocks, 2 quart, 4 quart and a 6 quart. I like it bunches. I went home and transfered the beans that had been soaking for a couple of hours and took my shower and readied for the day.

Finally to the office while B headed out for lunch with her former co-workers and friends. I knew she would not be back till about 1:30 so I settled. I had to leave about 1:30 myself to get my teeth cleaned and run to the post office. A few phone calls, took a credit card payment and played on the Internet. Yup, a typical day for me.

Oh I almost forgot the snipe B took at me. I went home after the dentist as I didn't have anything to do at the office and settled into my nice chair and began to doze. The cell phone rang "Ice, Ice, Baby" and I knew it was either The Hubby or B, it was the latter. It was just a phone message question and then we chit-chatted a bit. I told her about these neat new massaging chair at the dentist and she sniped, "I told you that already. You don't ever listen to me." First of all I told her I don't remember and then tried to explain but she said it again rather hateful. You know what I would have never talked to my mother the way she snaps at me. NEVER! She is 28 years old and I'm tired of our relationship not moving out of the mother and and teenager stage. She still acts like she is 16 and frankly I'm tired of it. I'm still on the stupid list.

Readers where are they

You know I feel as if I'm writing to myself here and in a sense I am but I would like a little audience here. It seems like no one EVER visits my blog except a good friend and a VERY occasional stranger. I've tried visiting and commenting on others blogs. I read over 30 blogs, not always commenting on them but I do read. I just don't get it. Does my writing or my life not appeal to others or am I just not marketing myself that well? I am really a novice to this stuff as far as computer-eaze goes but I've learned by trial and error. I guess I'm not that new as I've been blogging since about 2006. I just don't know where to go. I tried to sign up on BlogHer and I have so much trouble getting that blasted site to keep my info updated. I spent an entire hour last night (and that's not the first time) trying to get my info on there and just became frustrated and quit. I've read on Blogger about how to sign up with blog directories and I've done a few but still I sit and the tally marks of visitors keep adding up but they are mostly my own looking at my blog as I like to look at my pictures. It's a comfortable place for me to visit and I don't know why it isn't for others. Oh well, I will just continue to blog here and one of these YEARS maybe someone will find me and visit.

I've been in a fog for several, several days now and I can't quite explain what is going on with me. I think, think I've blogged about possibly being visited by Mother Nature after 6 months of nothing and that being the culprit. It could also be the unending rain that is plaguing this area and most of the Midwest now. I remember when I was about 14 years old when there was a June where it rained and stormed almost the entire month so I guess we were due for the torrential rains, but two years in a row I'm about done. Last week I didn't work out much as I felt terrible and today I was very low key at Jazzercise and the personal trainer, Wade commented how low my energy level was today. In fact, my knees and ankles are bothering me which is probably from the moisture and mugginess that has been ongoing.

Yesterday we spent Father's Day at my Bro and Sis-in-law's. The Sis and her hubby brought baby-back ribs and smoked chicken and I did the salad. It was very nice but my Daddy being Daddy he gets restless and can't stay much past the eats. At least he came outside and sat with us for a bit while we enjoyed the pool but he just had to hit the road and go home to sit in his chair and vegetate. I used to think it was Momma that was antsy to get home but you know it was both of them. He just gets fidgety and has to move on. The minute he got there he started in on his hearing aids not working, like he needed an excuse to leave. Bro and his wife invite him all the time to eat with them but he says he can't hear in their living room so he won't come over but in large groups. I think yesterday we all agreed that Daddy's social skills are a little lacking and he feels uncomfortable around everybody. You know he is only 72 years old (73 in August) and you would think he is in his 90's the way he crips around and complains that his mind doesn't work and on and on and on, but the man does two crosswords and two cryto-quotes every morning. He has a computer and he loves to play bridge, solitaire, hearts, spades etc all the time. He has his mind and he is able to mow the yard (on a riding one) several times a week, garden, weed, and all that kind of stuff. When we three kids get around or he gets lonely he is a "helpless" old man and I just hate that. He needs to get plugged into the community and have a good time instead of relying on us to keep him company. We have our own very busy lives and he is very capable of finding his own entertainment. Now don't get me wrong, I DEARLY love my Daddy and will be there to take care of him but when he is able I just don't get it. It's a little frustrating. The Hubby's Momma will be 81 in September and at B & B's wedding she was swing dancing. She is a lady on the move, got her mind and is quite elegant. She doesn't sit around feeling sorry for herself or mourning over her man endlessly. Well, that's a lie, she has had some moments but she doesn't sit around long. Daddy still goes to the grave and cries and talks to Momma. I feel that that is not them and I never visit. When he was drinking he would visit his parents and brother and come by my house a crying drunk. I just don't have the tolerance for any of it anymore. I've given to him, The Hubby, my kids, my community and I'm DONE! It is for me now and I'm not going to give into it. YES, I'm selfish now but I've earned it over the years, besides Sis said if he needed to live with someone he could live with her. More power to her. She's the baby of the family and she has taken upon herself to be his babysitter. You go girl. Don't let me stop you.

Sorry for the ranting but I'm just in that kind of mood today. Dark and dreary.

So Proud

This is a pic that B sent to The Hubby for Father's Day. A wife can be just so proud of her little boy...uh I mean Hubby.

Another weekend gone

Well today is Father's Day and we came back early from the cabin to spend it with my family, my father. We went to the cabin Friday evening and had a nice visit with the neighbors and shared a beer and glass of wine. There were not a lot of people there so it was fairly quiet. We had planned on coming back last night but The Hubby had spent all day long putting in the lights on the neighbors new deck and he was just exhausted so YIPEE we stayed. It was one of the most perfect evenings. The temperature was just perfect and we enjoyed most of the evening outdoors on the new deck (not quite finished). Harri fixed roast, corn on the cob, mixed veggies and french bread and I washed it down with a few Bud Light Lime beers...very yum. Then Harri decided she wanted to go on a golf cart ride before the sun set so off we went, her with her glass of wine and me with a glass of Pama (pomegranete liquor-more very yum.) We drove every road, gravel and paved looking for where there might be a party but it was pretty quiet. We watched the firefly's buzzing around in the meadow, watched some people playing a little golf on our 4 holes and hoped to see a deer or two. As the darkness crept up and we were driving on a road by Mud Flats a little creature ran in front of us. At first I thought it was a tiny deer but my mind immediately knew what it was. It was a tiny fox, very young. It was just darling as it stopped by some steps of a cabin and just sat and watched us watch it. Very sweet.

This weekend I really got into my book "The Book Thief" and yesterday as I sat on the porch and read it I was taken with warm thoughts of my Momma. Momma was an avid reader. She loved and I mean LOVED books and she instilled in my brother, sister and I the love of reading. We all three can not get enough reading done. She used to go to the library and check out 5 or 6 books every two weeks and would inhale them. Well, this book I'm reading is about a little girl in Nazi Germany and one of the parts of the book is her love of books and reading and as I was reading yesterday I thought, "I will never read the words that my mother has run her eyes over again." I know it is a weird thought but we shared books and would discuss them over and over again and I just had that strange thought that my eyes and hers would never touch that kind of sight again. I know weird but I miss her and our talks and closeness and sharing of life.

I'm fixin' to let loose!

I am fixin' to let loose on The Hubby. I did not go to work out this morning as it was raining buckets and my little car would float away. I decided to stay home from the office today and just enjoy the rain and clean out some drawers and closets. I was having a nice time just spending time alone, by myself, talking to myself and enjoying the absolute quiet here and besides B is fielding the phone calls and stuff at the office. On top of all of this I have a feeling that Mother Nature is trying to rear her very ugly head as I feel just icky today. Hopefully it will pass as I haven't seen her since January. Anyway, I was minding my own business just puttering around when I heard the garage door open. DAMN! I should have known better than to think he would not want to find out what I was up too. He starts in on me about not coming into the office and whether B can do some of the invoicing. I told him she could, that it could even wait till tomorrow when I am in in the morning. He didn't hear that part. He heard that I would be at a funeral tomorrow of a high school friend and then visit my daddy and then out to dinner with my aunt, he didn't hear that I would be in in the morning. He went off on me about invoicing. I went off about him waiting sometimes for weeks to get it ready for me to type it could wait one day. I told him not to do this today. The day I decide to not be there on purpose and he gets his panties all in a twist that I am not at his beck and call. Crap, I get so mad at him for this. There can be days, and I mean days where I sit in that office with absolutely nothing to do and the ONE day I take off is the day when the world, his world is coming to an end. I think he is relying on me way too much here. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Rain, Rain, Rain

The rain started about 11:30 last night and continued its onslaught all night long. It was rather pleasant listening to it fall on the roof while we slept. This morning when the alarm went off to wake us for workout I just rolled over. I knew with all the rain and street flooding that I was not about to test my little car in the rushing waters. So I nuzzled down in the covers and continued to sleep, or at least tried to sleep. I knew this was a dangerous move on my part but I couldn't help it, besides my calves are killing me today after Saturday night of dancing. Then at 7 am I realized I needed to get up for the personal trainer but the rain was continuing to dance on the roof and I was just not in the mood to do it, so I called and begged off. I know that was bad but sometimes you just need a break. I might go to the office but you know what, with B there I don't need to. I think I'll stay here and do my crossword, Sudoku and read. I might do a little laundry and try to clean out a closet, might.

The Party

It was a blast. We danced for a solid 3 hours in the living room and I actually did the running man. If you only knew how much I have wanted to dance like I danced last night and with 22 pounds gone and the working out that I do I was the queen bee on the dance floor last night. In fact one of my friends told me I was so smooth on the dance floor and that I was better than the dancers on "So You Think You Can Dance". What a great compliment and I could let it go to my head but I am a realist. I told The Hubby later from watching the show that those kind of compliments for people who are a little bad in the dance department, well you know, can make them think they are the greatest dancers on the earth, I'm NOT. Sin & Bare and Harri and Jimbo did all the food last night with fried Basa fish, fried chicken, french fries and salad. The wine was plenty. Surprisingly I don't have a headache but my feet and legs are a little sore. Pictures will explain the fun we all had.

Now this is a party.

Birthday Party

It is Saturday and I may be a widow by the day’s end if he doesn’t STOP IT! He is driving me crazy. Tonight is the big birthday party for ME at the cabin and he is doing his usual obsessive compulsive crap he does when he knows people are coming. It is early and I want to enjoy the peace and quiet but he is not letting me at all. He got up, had his breakfast and then came out on the porch and started talking about sweeping the porch, mopping the porch, cleaning some in the house, etc. I just don’t get all whacked out when company is coming although I am going to do some stuff because world renowned interior designer CF is coming and being a world renowned interior designer I really want to make an impression with him as far as our cabin goes. I know it is not his usual Country French, it is Country The Hubby and I love it. I am excited about the party tonight but I want to enjoy myself a little today and not have the anxiety his mustering up today.

Last night we went on a boat cruise on Bare & Sin's pontoon boat with Jimbo & Harri and G&G. Harri fixed sloppy joes that we took to eat while watching the sun go down. I made some CD’s for Bare and Sin and we listened to them and danced and sang our little hearts out. It was great fun. I really was not sure I would enjoy myself as I’m not a boat person but it was fun. I don’t want to go if there are tons of people on the boat but it was a perfect number of us.
(Oh man, The Hubby is now cleaning the little man that sits on our wall. He has a scrub brush and is washing him…hey wait I think that the scrub brush is the kitchen brush from my sink. HE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY. )

Luckily Harri called and wanted me to go to town to the store and I rushed out. It was nice to get away from the hustle and bustle that is known as The Hubby. Right now I'm sitting on a rock wall in between Harri's and our cabin tapping into G's Internet connection to blog here. Again I had to get away from The Hubby. We just had loud words about the music that will be playing tonight. He is DEAD set on having his "dance" music played and I don't necessarily like his "dance" music and it is my party after all. I gave up. Let him have it I want no stress and that is all. I think I'll munch on something and then make my way to the hammock and a little nap before our T-town friends arrive early. I will still need a shower and cleanup for the big bash tonight. They will just have to wait around for me to get dolled up.

A Gathering

Birthday & Cheesecake

Today is my birthday. Yes I'm going to shout it out to the heavens. TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!! I went to workout, then to work, then to my facial and massage and I've just finished eating Taco Bell. I haven't had that in over a year and I decided that today I would enjoy! Now it is time to clean the house a little, wash my hair (all the oil from the massage), go to the store and then PARTY TIME. Already I've received several email messages from friends and family and a flower arrangement. The Jazz girls had muffins, coffee and fruit after workout and of course a few gifts. It is already going to be a good day...oh wait, except I've already pissed off B today.

She is coming tonight and she just called to let me know that she told her best friend about it and invited her to join us. That is OK 'cause I like Rachel but then she asks if she can bring Mondo, the granddog. "NO", I say. She is mad and says he is much better and would be good. I insist and more emphatically, " NO." We said our goodbyes but she is really angry at me. I really like the guy but it is MY party, my friends/guests and we don't need a huge dog roaming in between our legs slapping us with his massive tail with joy. We just want to drink, eat and be merry, not clean up dog hair and spills. Am I wrong?

Oh well. TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Here's you some cheesecake...:)

The Move

D-Day...Today the MIL moved and I was in attendance. I had my two workouts then hurridly I arrived at her house about 8:45. The movers were not there yet but were expected between 8:30 and 9 am. Finally, about 9:10 they pulled up and it was on. The #2 son showed up about 5 minutes later and I was glad he was there for the help. It began as a whirlwind of movement with dollies and moving men wanting guidance. Up until last night there was a room that had not been packed up so #2 son was there until 7 pm Monday evening doing it for her. We coordinated the whole orchestra of people and by noon we were on our way to her new digs. Montereau provided lunch for us which consisted of a slab of meat on two thin pieces of bread, a tomato slice, lettuce, some weird chips, and bottled water. I was raveneous after the workouts and moving but it filled the void in my stomach. We spent the rest of the afternoon, after the movers left trying to get her bedroom together so she could sleep. She has one of those beds that has individual controls and goes up and down, well, that posed a problem with the new bedskirt. She spent the past week spliting the new one down the middle and then hemming it so that when one side of the bed goes up the other side will not lift up, but they (the MIL and #2 son) forgot the bar at the end that keeps the mattress from sliding off when the bed is raised. So we spend the next hour getting the skirt on the bed, pinned so it would not slide off and then cutting slits in the skirt so when we unscrewed the bars we could poke them through the skirt fabric then reattach and THEN we could finally make the bed. ARGHHHHHHH!!!!! My aching feet, back and mind. And to top off the day I got another call from the other DIL. She called last Friday to make sure someone would be there for the MIL for the move. She and #1 son don't live here. I was ticked off by her slighted accuisation that no one would be there as we've been there the whole time. Well today she called my cell phone and asked where I was at. "Well," I told her, "I'm at G's for the move." She said she was just checking to make sure. Again I was pissed. Then I find out tonight that she and #1 son were actually in town today passing through on the way to some teaching thing he does. They did not make an appearance for the move at all and I found out that they were at their lake place on Memorial Day weekend. This seems innocent enough but they HAVE to go through here on the way and they spent the weekend there playing with the grandkids and still on the way home did not stop by to help. Why can't they help. Why is up to The Hubby, #2 son and me to handle all of this. It just gets me so very angry and with the phone calls on top of it all.

Finally, home about 6pm I rushed to the shower and knew I was going to make The Hubby take me out to In The Raw for an early birthday dinner as I'm having tons of girls here at the house to celebrate tomorrow night. The Hubby finally came home and I told him let's go eat. We jumped into my little red ride and pulled out of the garage. "Stop", he says. Well, crap, I had a nail in my tire. We sat in the driveway for 45 minutes while he repaired my tire, hopefully. The time waiting his cell phone rang two times with emergency service calls and even now, after dinner he is out working a service call. It has been this way for two solid days for him since the storms this past weekend. Really, being an electrician sometimes is neverending work and service calls. I can't wait till the weekend so we can get away from the office and celebrate my birthday AGAIN!

Another Monday

It is another Monday as usual. The same stuff, workout, coffee, shower then work. But today I've changed it up a bit with meeting the Jazz girls for coffee in between workouts. I am also meeting me friend C for lunch. She's treating me since Wednesday is my BIRTHDAY. Yup, another year older, not sure how I feel about that but there is no stopping the clock from ticking. Tick tock, tick tock...

We finally got power back last night about 10 pm. It really wasn't a problem for us as we have a generator but some I hear will be out till about Wednesday. Thank goodness for the generator.

This next weekend I'm throwing myself a huge birthday bash at the cabin. Since I was not able to have a 50th I'm doing it now, two years later. It should be fun and I may just get drunk. I plan on laughing and dancing a lot to celebrate. This week though should be a whirlwind as today is lunch with C and work. Tuesday the MIL is finally moving so that will be an all day thing. Wednesday is my facial and massage and that's half the day, the other half of the day is preparing on having a Jazzy girls birthday party for ME at my house. Thursday is my hair appointment and that takes about 3 hours. Then Friday is payroll and gather up all I need for the party at the lake. Somewhere in there I have to squeeze in a little work. Pay bills, do invoicing, payroll, just stuff at the office. So I guess I had better get off this stupid computer and get busy.

Thunder, Thunder and more Thunder

Sunday and the sky's are gray again. I guess there was a reason we didn’t go to the cabin this weekend because it has been crappy weather most of the weekend. Yesterday I went to the MIL’s to see how the work on the front porch was going. The Hubby has been trying to spruce it up by pulling up the glued down indoor-outdoor green carpet she had put down. It was so ugly. He had put down a concrete overlay then stained it and it looked really good but because he wasn’t able to get all the glue up the overlay buckled in places. So he has gone over and cleaned it up again, and where it came up he filed down the sides and it looks like you meant to leave it in chunks, and re-stained where it had buckled after getting rid of the broken concrete. It has been a real ordeal and mess. Today he is supposed to go over and wash off the first layer of stain and re-apply another but the weather is not cooperating and she has an open house at one. Hopefully this weather will blow over sometime today. I went over yesterday and The Hubby was covered in concrete dust and inside the BIL and his partner and the MIL were busy doing more packing so I rolled up my sleeves and joined in. That was about 2:30. I didn’t leave until 6:30 and had to go to the store for steaks for dinner. This whole move thing has been so difficult for the MIL. She is the one that has instigated it but she is so dragging her feet. The movers come on Tuesday at 8:30 and she had better get ready. She still had a built-in cabinet that was filled with glassware, cookbooks and “stuff” that she had not even touched. I put myself to that task yesterday and finished it all. When I asked her for some sheets or bedding that she would be taking with her for use in packing the glassware she went to the hall linen closet and opened it. This is a huge closet that she had not even touched. So she began that and when we used some of the sheets she yelled at the BIL’s partner E not to scrunch it up. This is a lady that irons her sheets and pillow cases. She walked away and E and I just rolled our eyes. I love her to death but it is crunch time and she has not got the luxury of be that picky. I know she is freaked that once all these boxes get there she will have to unload them but I told her I would be there, in fact we all will be, except for the SIL and the other brother that have not EVEN showed up to help one iota. We have done it all. (I won’t start on them here.) We still have the shed that she has stuffed full of junk and all the yard knick-knacks that she is freaked out about taking or giving to one of us. She has a great yard but full of, well just full. I got custody of a paper sack of recipes that she has collected, some since 1956. These were torn out of magazines and newspapers and tossed in were recipe cards, some with MY name one them. I also got a huge box bulging and tied with a ribbon with the oldest ones. I sat here last night an sorted through all of them and ended up with about 45 recipe cards and a basket of handwritten on various kinds of paper and very old from newspapers clippings. I just couldn’t throw some of them away. By the time I was through with them all my nose was so stuffed up from dust and disintegration of the newspapers I could barely breathe.

There were times when she was almost in tears yesterday with all that was going on. When we started going through the cookbooks she was beside herself with not being able to choose what to keep and sell. We’re to the point of just packing all of the rest of it and see if it fits (it won’t) in her new place then bring back what she doesn’t want for the estate sale. That means we will be moving stuff twice. She has a HUGE sectional couch that she is INSISTING she take, that it will fit but the BIL is a designer and has done measurements and “it won’t fit”. This week will be a trial for sure. Thank goodness I will have Wednesday, my birthday. I will have a facial and massage and the house full of girlfriends to celebrate.

Saturday in town

We didn't go to the cabin this weekend as The Hubby wanted to attend the Swing Fling (or something like that). I was in attendance under protest. I was terrified that I would have to dance and my East Coast Swing is very novice, even more so for The Hubby. I went because he wants to learn more so bad. We did attend one of the events which was a dance but we ONLY watched, thank goodness. Actually, there were some who were not that good and some that were pretty awesome. My observation was that it was a little like a (AND DON'T GET ANGRY AT WHAT I'M ABOUT TO WRITE) nerd convention. There were guys and girls that even though they might be couples they asked anybody to dance, it's all about getting experience and practice. There were also singles that attended and I observed that a few guys were actually trolling, like in a dance club (this was at a hotel ballroom). I know it was for practice but I did see the trolling taking place. In truth, everyone seemed to be having a great time and enjoyed an opportunity to use the skills they have obviously learned. My problem was that EVERYONE in the room is doing the West Coast Swing and I only know a smidgen of the East Coast Swing. I know, I know, what's the difference. Well, I'm still a little confused by it all too. ECS is explained here East Coast Swing - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia and West Coast Swing here West Coast Swing - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Basically the ECS is a very basic side, side, back and the WCS is a TON of improvisational stuff that I can't seem to follow. I'm really good at watching someone do the steps and copy them but this stuff I was not able to make out the steps at all and it seemed the man really dictated how you move around. I guess I'm destined to learn how to dance this stuff with The Hubby. I'm sure it is fun but I'm just not confident in myself to do it in front of people without being pretty intoxicated. There was one woman who brought her little girl, about 10 or 11 and they got out on the dance floor together and when the mother was dancing with others some would ask the little girl to dance and would be very patient to teach and lead. It was very cute. I must say there were a few hotties, guy and girl, young and old. I even encountered a girl I went to high school with. I knew she would be there as her name was in the paper in the article about the whole event. She is a really nice girl but the old high school jitters seemed to kick in, heck she was football queen.

We had intended to go tonight but I think not at this point so I'm stuck in town this weekend. My plan is to do laundry, blog, read, nap, run a few errands and possible go to the MIL's if she needs help packing as she is FINALLY moving on June 3. I thought about walking/jogging but I just don't want too. I hate doing it in town. Oh, I forgot, yesterday my sis and her son Hunt and my Daddy came to the office and we all went to eat lunch at Kilkenny's. Sis likes to get Daddy out and about. It breaks up his life in general and wears him out so to speak. We had a wonderful lunch and then decided to go by and see The Hubby's new building (really old one) as the new overhead doors that were being installed. Daddy had not seen the building since The Hubby had first bought it, when all the crap was piled everywhere. It is now completely cleaned out, the floors power-washed and sealed, etc. Looks good for a 50 year old building. While on the "tour" I told Sis I needed to get a new printer to go with the new computer at the office but realized that my little car probably would not hold the box so we left Daddy with The Hubby to hang out and off we went with Hunt in tow. My printer was the last of the dinosaurs as far as printers. It was an old HP laser4 printer that was about 15 years old so there was no kind of hook-up available. I was really yearning for a color laser printer and I was able to find a HP color laser several steps up from my old one and I bought two. I wanted one for my own personal use. I was tired of emailing myself stuff to the office to print so "Happy Birthday" to me.

Yes, the day is fast approaching again. I will turn 52 on Wednesday and I have the whole day planned. I workout at 5:45 am and then home for breakfast then off for a facial and massage for the next 3 hours or so. Then home to shower and ready the house for a birthday party I'm throwing myself with my Jazzercise girls. There should be about 20+ in attendance and they are all bringing the food, my kind of party. I will supply the beverages (champagne for me) and a great house to celebrate. The next weekend my friend Harri is going to throw a big bash for me to celebrate at the lake. She is having a new deck built and hopefully it will be finished to party down. WOO HOO!!!!!

Weight and training update

I have been working very hard on my weight loss. I am not doing the walking thing during the week but I do it on Saturday's and that is about 2.5 to 3.5 miles of walking and/or jogging. I'm still the avid Jazzerciser and still with the personal trainer and I have made some significant progress. I started out in January and as of today I have lost 22 pounds. Since April 17 I have lost 6 inches, four of those inches in my chest, waist and hips. I was bench pressing 66 pounds and today I did 81 pounds. I also was able to do 15 girl push ups on 4-17 and today I did 30. My resting heart rate had a 40% improvement as well. My body fat has gone down 7% and my lean body weight is 1% higher. So since April 17, the day I started the personal trainer I've lost 4.2 pounds and that doesn't count the weight I did on my own. I'm so very excited and Tuesday I went clothes shopping and am wearing some 16's, larges and I feel sexy and beautiful again. Some of the things I have noticed are my dimples are showing again. It's the small things that make you really sit up and take notice. I have dimples...

They've hatched...

They are a little fuzzy as the momma was not happy about my invasion.

Stargazers in my MIL's front yard.

Jury Duty

This morning I awoke to lightening, thunder and tons of rain. I had planned on going to Jazzercise but opted not too because of my itty-bitty car. I didn't want to float down the road instead of drive. I didn't sleep well as I was nervous about the whole process of Jury Duty this morning. It was only for municipal court and said one day or one trial so I knew it would be short. I am a nervous nellie when it comes to new and the unknown. I have driven downtown Tulsa before and I do it pretty well but since all of the construction I wasn't sure and I had never been in the courthouse before so I wasn't sure where to go exactly. The Hubby drove me there yesterday for a dry run which helped. Anyway, this morning I got ready and was nervously patting my foot at 7:30, waiting. I decided to go ahead and go to the office as it is on the way. WOW, the front drive at the shop had water almost up to the door last night. Sometimes it happens there, even to the point that we have had to get canoes out in the street for the buildings and houses behind. This area is the last place to have flood control in Tulsa but we are working on it. Back to the story...I got to the office and B was there answering the phone and filing. I sat and visited with her and made a couple of runs to the little girls room as my stomach was icky-nervous. Then it was time to find my way through 4-way stop signs, gravel and orange cones. It was pretty uneventful and even found the building with no problem but I can guarantee my blood pressure was up just from nerves. I entered the Jury Room and it was crammed with 42 potential jurors. We filled out a form, sat and waited, watched a video that was made in the 70's and waited. We watched television until the copier and television and Coke machine blew a fuse/breaker. I then finished off the book I was reading, did a crossword and Suduko. We then had our names drawn out of a silver box that was shaken three times in between each name, it's law. The first 15 were the green juror tags, the second 15 were the blue juror tags and the last 12 were the pink juror tags, and that would be me. We sat some more and the maintenance man got the fuse/breaker thingy fixed just in time for me to catch David Cook on Regis and Kelly (a plus in my book). Finally, about 9:30 the lady called for the green team to follow the court clerky person. We again sat till about 10 am then the blue team was called. This time they were sent home, don't come back. Another 30 minutes roll around and finally the pink ones, me, were sent home. That was quick. I am actually sad I didn't get to go to the jury thing and can't be called for two years. Bummer. Well, then I made my way out, after filling out a survey, to the parking garage. Found my car and then found the exit. I drove my car through a two post thinga-ma-bob-no-way-back and down a ramp then half-way down there were barracades and fresh concrete. Well! Since I couln't back up I had to take the next way out, over the concrete edge. My car went bump, bang, clang and then I was out and on my way home. So that my friends is my day at Jury Duty.

More birdy pictures

Another wedding

Yesterday The Hubby and I had to leave our place of paradise to go back to town for a wedding. We had to break up our 3 day weekend to drive back into town. That was not the first time back though. Friday afternoon we were able to get away early, about 2:30 pm and head out. The drive is about 50 miles and we were about 25 miles out when we remembered that we left the brisket in the little refrigerator. We thought about hitting Pryor to find another one but since this was Memorial Day weekend we knew that might be an impossible feet on a late Friday afternoon so we turned around and went back home.

Back to yesterday. We had to go into town for a friends son getting married. Jason, we have know Jason since he was about 1-1/2 old, his mother was our daughter A's first teacher and she is a very good friend of ours along with her husband so we HAD to go. It sure messed a perfect weekend but a must is a must. It was so sweet to see little Jason as a grown up man getting ready to tie the knot. The church they were married in is not our home church (Jason and his family go to our church, which we don't attend anymore) but was Angie's home church. the preacher-minister-pastor whatever his name began with a prayer as ususal then he went into preaching. I HATE it when these preacher-minister-pastor's, whether at a funeral or a wedding, think that they have a captive audience and preach. Hey, if I wanted to be preached too I would go to my own church and I don't do that. I sat there and got madder and madder as he went on and on for 25 minutes of a 40 minute wedding. I wanted to get up and walk out but because of Jason I didn't. I HATE IT! Then to top of this 25 minute speech he was talking about how Jason would be the boss, the pants of the family, that Angie would be subservient to Jason. WHAT! My face was red I was so angry. I can't believe this is modern day, how can women let this keep going on. Marriage is not a boss and servant it is a partnership, even-steven. I was absolutely frothing I was so incensed by the speech of this guy. I'm still so very angry. When B and B2 got married I was so proud of her. The judge, yes a judge married them, she would not allow the judge to say the traditional vows where she would be his property, she sat her foot down that she was not his property. I was proud of her. Good girl! Whew I feel better. That was eating on me so bad. I have a problem with the whole property, I'm the boss, I wear the pants kind of thing.

Girl's Night

Had some old girl friends over last night for taco salads and chatter and wine. Some I had not seen in many years so I thoroughly enjoyed the talk. We had pic's of our families to share and stories to tell of our lives. It was like we had not been gone from each others life but a second. These ladies are from a defunct group called Beta Sigma Phi which is a social and service organization, not affiliated with college at all. Most of the ladies I have known for 20+ years thorough BSP but our group fell apart. They are very interested in getting a group up again, not as BSP though which is fine with me. I told them we would try to do this at least every month maybe as a book club or dinner club and they were very, very interested in that. I so miss friends, girl friends.

______________________________________________________________

DAVID COOK DAVID COOK DAVID COOK DAVID COOK DAVID COOK DAVID COOK
My Idol choice WON!!!

Mother Robin

Here is Momma Robin in the tree in the front yard of my Mother-in-Law. She has laid four beautiful blue eggs that the MIL loves to watch. Hopefully I'll have baby pic's soon.

I'm a good Daughter-in-Law

I have had an extremely busy day today. First was Jazzercise as usual then home for breakfast then back to my personal trainer. (Man am I sore.) In between Jazz and PT I made a list of the stuff I needed to do today.

• Call the Mother-in-Law
• Wash car
• Lunch with B
• Grocery store
• Box store
• Buy photo album for the multitude of wedding pictures
• Help Mother-in-Law pack some boxes

Well I achieved all but one of these things plus I cooked dinner and helped my MIL out big time. She is getting ready to move into a retirement facility and is really dragging her feet. I bought boxes today and took some of them over there to help. She had not even attempted to empty the china cabinet and I tackled it today and it is completely empty with half the stuff at my house. I have my grandmothers Desert Rose dishes and the MIL had another set so guess who adds to her set, ME. She had tons, and I mean tons of Christmas mugs that she was having the hardest time parting with so I told her to pack them and take them to the apartment and decide later if she had room to keep them. She was almost in tears trying to make the decision. She so loves to entertain and Christmas is one of her favorites but there is just not room for them but this appeased her for now. She is supposed to be moving in less than two weeks and she still has pictures adorning the walls and bedding in the hall closet. I asked her about the bedding, why she had not packed it yet but she couldn't really tell me. I then asked her about all the millions of pictures on the walls. She was kind of wishy-washy about them saying, "Well, uh, well." I took her arm and looked in her eyes and told her I knew why they were still hanging and told her the reason they were still there was because if they were gone then that would mean that it was not home anymore and she was just not ready for it yet, but, she is on a deadline and there is not turning back now. She took my hand, smiled and giggled but admitted that was probably true. This has been very difficult for her but I'm going to help her through it. She trusts me and values my opinion and I truly love her and want the best for her. I'm a good daughter-in-law and she is a wonderful Mother-in-Law.

A most beautiful weekend

I/we are back from the cabin and I must say it was a spectacular weekend weather wise. My arms are getting browner and browner from time in the hammock and walking/jogging. The neighbors Harri and Jimbo are building a new deck so the sound of hammers and saws and laughter and cursing was abounding. The Hubby is there to help too as he is the electrician. I spent a lot of time sitting and watching the hammering but I got very tired of it and chose to spend my time in the hammock reading, sleeping, watching the clouds in the blue sky and listening the birds. I got a lot of sun between the hammock time and driving home with my top down.

In just 6 minutes B will be landing at Tulsa International Airport. YEAH! I got a call from her from Dallas and she sounds tired but ready to be home.

Bowling 101

Last night was the final night for league bowling until fall. I bowled magnificently the first two games and really so did my teammates. I bowled a 151, 166 and then bombed with a 106, and I have an average of 140. We did so well that we took 2nd place overall. That was totally awesome and I ended up winning a little over $50. Not bad I think and we really did have a good time. The winning team, or a guy on the winning team had a 201 but his elation was short-lived as when he went to the back parking lot he and another bowler found that their cars had been broken into. What a total bummer, from way high to rock bottom. Poor guy. There is another fun league that starts next Thursday and I'm toying with the idea of doing it but I think I've talked myself out of it so I have my summers free for whatever I want to do. I will start back in the fall with this league. (I'll park in the front.)

A Request from Budapest and more stuff

I got an email at about noon our time which would be about 7pm in Budapest from B. She informed me that her school/intern stuff was finished and she really wanted to come home early. She is staying until Sunday because that is what her instructor advised them to do and guess what she and another girl are the only ones left there. She really is homesick for us and especially for her guy, she is a newlywed you know. She wanted me to see if I could get her home earlier. I called the airline and to change her ticket would $544. I said NO. She would just have to tough it out. Usually my travel-loving daughter would have no problem being there but this new husband, I believe, has changed her perspective on travel. She is so missing him and her home. I feel bad for her but her father was standing right by me when I found out how much to come home early and he was, "absolutely not, she can stay till Sunday." I would have done it if he wasn't aware of the cost.

Tonight is my last bowling league night till fall and I'm torn about whether I want to do it again. I REALLY love the game and my average is about 145 but I am not happy about one of my teammates. She is the treasurer and knows her stuff, sort of, but half the time she doesn't even make it to bowl. She also is in charge of lot of the business end of paying for our lanes and getting the score sheets, etc., which means we have to chase her down to come bowl her turn. That makes us sitting around waiting for her and late getting done. I'll just have to play it by ear and how I feel in the fall. Hey, I think we might be in third place so far so that's pretty cool.

I also got a call from Roger, who I went to high school with. He and I are in charge with putting the reunions together. We have one every 5 years and so next year will be time for our 35th reunion....OH MY GOD! That sounds awful. I AM NOT THAT OLD, am I? Well, we will get together and start putting together a team of helpers and updating the old addresses. For 10 years of that time I was doing a newsletter twice a year but I got burned out on it when I was trying to raise the girls, going to school, volunteering and a little work in the middle of it all. I know everyone loved it but I really had lost my interest. That is my problem. I do things and after awhile I can loose my desire or passion and drive to continue or finish. I got tired of being the only one putting it together (info and mailing). I was also a little gun-shy when I first started out doing it because I got a phone call from one of our girl classmates that rattled my cage. She married a guy from the grade ahead of us and he is kind of a big deal on the radio around here. He was going to have some comedy records out and it was in the PAPER about all of it. I put a blurb in the newsletter about it in the section about other classes. She called me at my office and reamed me out about putting it in the newsletter because they didn't need the attention in their lives (because he was so famous I guess) and how dare I mention someone not in our class, blah, blah, blah. I was very kind to her but I was so shaken that I almost quit doing it. Now, I think I've developed a thicker skin and am more assertive, especially with "fellow" classmates that I would tell her to "bite me". You have to understand that I was NEVER a joiner or popular kind of person in high school, in fact, if you read the definition of wallflower in the dictionary, you will find a picture of me. I was painfully introverted, at least I thought I was and so for me to do anything like this for the class is totally out of character for me, at least the person I was 35 years ago. You truly do grow in every sense of the word after high school. I have changed SO very much from the person I was, and I like me.

My life with Lean Cuisine's

My life has become an everyday lunch with a Lean Cuisine. Ever since I really tried to kick the fat habit I've been living in the Lean Cuisine world. In January it started with the era of Slim-Fast. I was doing Slim-Fast for breakfast and lunch then a low-fat, low-calorie dinner. That was to push me into a size 16 for the wedding (March 29), and it worked. Now I have started with a personal trainer 3 days a week along with my Jazzercise 5 days a week, and the walking/jogging which I have pushed to the weekends. I am now back to the oatmeal with raisins and nuts for breakfast and lunch of Lean Cuisine. Dinner is whatever I want really. My favorite Lean Cuisine's are:

Sante-Fe Style Rice & Beans






Vegetable Eggroll

Fiesta Grilled Chicken
and my FAVORITE----- is Sesame Chicken

It's very sad when I see a Lean Cuisine box and I begin to drool but it has become that as I continue my way down the fat scale. Yesterday I weighed myself (I'm not supposed to) and I was down another 2 pounds...so my total is 20 pounds lost and lots and lots of inches. Wade worked my arms so hard this morning that when I had to go down to the floor for crunches and stretching my arms gave out and I fell. They were like wet noodles. They're fine now but I bet by morning I'll be sore again, maybe not though as we did arms yesterday and I wasn't sore but had the same kind of wet noodle thing going on. This has been hard yet easy for me. I know The Hubby has been ready for me to get it off especially since Gail died. He's been so terrified that I would keel over like her but I have worked out for over 10 years now and I have good eating habits and I don't have high blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. I'm basically in very good health, but I had to be ready to do the weight loss thing when I was ready, NOT for him. I had to do it for ME. I knew I would when I was ready for the new era of ME. My problem right now is being lonesome. I fight going to the pantry or refrigerator to take away the lonesomeness and boredom I am finding in my life right now. I miss my friend(s). I miss my mother. I miss the groups (women) I was associated with that have folded. I miss Girl Power so to speak. Boy, this blog has really gone South in where I intended to make it rather lighthearted.

Budapest update

Just remember it is a European keyboard:


"cna't remember what all i included last time but here's another update!

we've been ALL over budapest now and are semi pros at the underground and trams. my feet hurt like holy hell though! today we trained an hour outside of town to a small village that was reconstructed to mimick the old time hungarian villages...it was pretty cool but was a VERY long hike up a very steep hill! yesterday our hightlight was visiting the palinka festival. palinka is a native hungarian liquor (like tequila to mexico) that i believe is likened to a fruity brandy??? it was a small festival (i thought itwould have been larger) but it was still really cool. we got little palinka glasses jus tfor going (let's cross our fingers i don't break mine on the way home!!) and a free sampling glass of whatever flavor we fancied. i let my palinka traveling buddies have mine as the smell was TOO strong for me and i don't fare well with strong liquors! the locals were swigging it like pros though! :) the day before, our highlight was visitng the traditional turkish baths here which was quite the experience. we went to the gellert hotel which was absolutely breathaking and spent 2 hours in the theraputic hot spring waters there. we also were exposed to LOTS of the spoken about european nudity though which was quite the shocker for many of our first time european travelers! it was a really really good time though. and the baths felt amazing.

tomorrow we start back to interning for two days and then three days to do as we please...i plan to work on my five million papers i have due for this course on our free days at some cafes around here! sunday i will be heading home and am so excited to come back to you all! it's been quite teh experience living with 5 other people for 10 days! i'm so used to having my own way and sleeping in if i want and things like that! anywho...

miss you all and love you all dearly!

p.s. mimi - i DID get your email yesterday and love the pictures!

take care and see yousoon!
love,
b"

Busy Monday

It is a busy Monday for me. Of course there was the usual Jazzercise, then home for a quick breakfast then on to the personal trainer, Wade. Home again I showered then rushed out of the house to the office. The Hubby told me that Saturday there were several large checks in the mail so I knew I needed to make a deposit and then slog through the mounds of bills I didn't get around to paying on Friday. On top of the stack of mail and bills were invoices that The Hubby finally finished so I could type. So I've been very, very busy this morning. I actually entered, printed and signed 38 checks, stuffed the envelopes and then ran them through the postage meter. I had forgotten that the postage went up to $.42 so I spent $15.96 mailing the bills and another $3.36 on the invoicing. Wow. That is done and I have writers cramp in my hand from signing all the checks. I also managed to order a new desk computer because this one is absolutely possessed. Sometimes it will take me 2 hours to open up my QuickbooksPro accounting program, and that can be very scary if you have forgotten to back it up. Now it is 3pm and I can finally add an entry onto the blog.

Yesterday I had one of the brother-in-laws and the mother-in-law over for dinner. They didn't come till after 5 so it was a lazy day most of it. I spent the time in my new hammock and even fell asleep, sunburning the inside of my thighs. I also took a little spill onto a cobblestone patio when I shifted. The Hubby was sitting in a chair watching and the next thing I knew I was looking at rock and wondering what had happened. I scraped my pinkie knuckle pretty good but didn't even notice for 15 minutes when it started stinging and I felt blood trickle. OUCH! The dinner went nicely and I was very laid back in the food area. The Hubby smoked ribs all day and boy were they tender and tasty. I oven roasted on one cookie sheet: asparagus, red onion, yellow squash and red pepper with a little olive oil and jalapeno salt. The other cookie sheet had cubed sweet potatoes tossed in olive oil, Splenda (not much) and more jalapeno salt. Those were so very yummy, caramelized a little and with a little heat. We also had a huge tossed salad and for dessert there was a berry mixture of strawberries, raspberries and blueberries on top of store bought angel food cake and a dollop of Cool Whip. ...excuse me while I clean up the drool, I'm hungry right now. I even heard from my girls, A from California and B from Budapest. They sound good. I decided yesterday not to be sad about not having my Momma or my girls around me for Mother's Day but instead rejoiced that Gloria was there to celebrate and I emailed my girls and told them that I was glad they were not there as they were where they should be, living their dreams. That they need not be sad but enjoy life, their lives. It think it helped me and them to get through the day.

Oh my goodness the traffic outside of the office is driving me crazy. We are one block off of Utica and the railroad tracks that run across it are being redone so they are re-routing the traffic right in front of our offices. The grinding gears of semi's and boom boxes blaring and rattling the walls is horrible. Apparantly they are actually messing with the railroad tracks but the road around it because at lunch I heard the train horn and was concerned there was going to be a derailment but alas it was fine but the backup in front of the office was awful. I'm glad I didn't have to leave during all of that but tonight might me another story just trying to get home.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day...

I miss you Momma...."Love ya baby"

Oh "Hail"

Last night we realized when we got home that there was a board meeting at the lake so we decided at the very last minute to drive up there after dinner, spend the night and then come back Saturday afternoon. We hopped into my cute little red Miata and drove with the top down as the evening was delightful. This morning it was a little cloudy and the weather forecast was later in the afternoon and the severe stuff might likely be in the southern part of the viewing area. Well, the neighbors are adding a deck so they are working hard and so Harri and I decided to go to town and get burgers for the working guys. We jumped into her Lexus and flew into town and on the way back we were commenting on the dark clouds we were driving towards. I should have been very worried and you know when we left I had the thought to leave my key, but I didn't. We were driving on the curvy country road when all of a sudden HAIL, HAIL, HAIL. It was a little hail but torrential sheets of hail. There was every size from pea to golf ball. We had to pull over under some big trees because the windshield would surely be broken if we continued to drive into it. As we were sitting under the tree we saw a poor horse standing under a tree next to the fence being pelted by the hail. It was so sad. I was almost in tears because I knew my little red car was sitting out in the open being most assurredly damaged by the hail. Finally, the hail began to lessen and we booked it on the road back to the cabin. I knew The Hubby was going to be pissed that I didn't leave the key but you just never know. Next time and from now on. We pulled up and the three guys were just staring at us and The Hubby had a horrible look on his face. I knew he was in the ozone with anger. Thankfully he was able to cover the car with light tarps and some carpet squares. We uncovered it and he said it was coming down so hard a fast that he was not able to be quick enough to protect all of it and sure enough there are dents all over my car. I'm just devasted. I think someone or something, karma, is telling me not to drive the thing to the cabin anymore or at least put it in the garage. Yes we have a garage there that it fits into but, well, unless you LEAVE THE KEY, it won't happen. Dammit!

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and we are going to have the mother-in-law, brother-in-law, and B22 over for smoked ribs, my special oven roasted sweet potatos, asparagus and salad. Most of the day I will lay in the hammock, do a little laundry and read. Maybe I'll do the laundry today so I won't have to do anything but cook tomorrow. The Hubby cleans up after dinner so I don't mind. I will miss my girls but they will call or email.

What a beautiful Friday

Here it is Friday and no rain...so far...I have been driving around town with the top down today. Quick notice about the traveling girl. I will update often while she is in Budapest with email snippets from her. So here is another one I just received (keep in mind from the typing problems that it is a European keyboard and they are very difficult to type on):

"I got my luggage and nothing is missing!! Hooray!!!

today we took a train for an hour out o the coutryside to visit a catholic university and sit in on a methodology class which was very interesting. the campus was absolutely beautiful and i took lots o fpics of it. we are all still messed up sleep wise but am feeling better. it's still really strange ot have to wait on a bunch of other people to this and that ubt i just have to remind myself that this is temporary...

A, in response to your question, my phone does work but it's pricey for me to use. since i've got internet in the apt, this is the best way to communicate...

got to run, we have to do an interview of an efl student now....the work never stops! love you all and look forward to hearing from you some more.

B"

She's There

From B:

"i have made it and am exhausted. the flight was ok except that i had five freaking minutes to make my connection so i had to run like the wind...unfortunately, my bag can't run so it's still somewhere in ny which sucks. now i have to go out and find nice clothes to wear for my first internship day tomorrow. great. oh, our flight was FULL of hasidic jews like eighty percent of it. they talked and walked the entire flight which didnt allow for any of us to sleep at all.

good news is the apt is pretty nice...for a hostel apt...and has the internet in the room so please do email back! i'm exhausted and am super super drained in every aspect.

am already missing you all tremendously. day 10 is almost over...9 more to go....

love you all more than you know!!!!!!!!!
b"

Flying update

She arrived in Chicago on time and was awaiting her connecting flight to NY (two hour wait) and was then told that her American Airlines plane was grounded. She called and was almost in tears because she was meeting up with her teacher and other students to fly together to Budapest. B was almost in tears as she was trying to tell me all about it but then suddenly she said she would call back. I was left wondering when the phone rang again and she said they found another plane but that it would arrive in NY allowing only 20 minutes to haul-ass to her connecting gate/flight and the other companions. So I was left waiting to hear if she had made it. I called the new hubby and he let me know that she did make it but is not sure her bag will follow. I will know more tomorrow.