Rock My World

I have been having problems with my knee. I went to the doctor and he said he thought it was a sports injury..."Excuse Me!" Well, I do Jazzercise 5 days a week so it is possible. Anyway, we x-rayed my knee and yesterday the nurse finally called me. The only word I heard was "degenerative." Then I got on the net and started looking up degenerative knee, the words flooded my eyes and mind...... osteoarthritis, cartilage, Glucosamine-chondroitin, anti-inflammatories ( NSAIDs), Vioxx, Celebrex, and Bextra, joint replacement, arthroscopy, and arthritis (which runs rampant in my family.) I'm 50 years old and this is really rocking my world. It's all I thought about the rest of the day yesterday, and this morning when my eyes popped open it was the first thing I thought about. My daddy has bad knees and 27 years ago had arthroscopy. I do not want surgery if possible. The literature did say it could be brought on by excessive weight which I am guilty of. I am working on it and over the past 7+ years I have lost 60 pounds. I'm working on it.


DAMMIT....I hate getting old.

I have finally done it!

I have have finally done it. I have booked my week at Lake Austin Spa. YIPEEEEEE!!!!!! I go the last week in June. I also booked my flight so there is no turning back now. It was a very scary thing to pick the phone up and actually make the plans. I'm not a good traveler anyway, especially since I am going to be going by myself. This is something I have NEVER done before so we'll see. I'm already nervous and I have 3 months to wait. I'm going to a spa, I'm going to a spa, I'm going to a spa.......I'm giddy!

A Wedding

Last night The Hubby and I went to a wedding at our church (which we haven't attended for awhile - that's another story). It was a young couple who we have watched grow up. Our girls grew up with them at the church. The couple, Katie and Kevin were so very sweet. They have known each other since they were probably 4 or 5 years old (or even younger). Who would have thought that they would end up exchanging vows and spending the rest of their life together. They are also rather opposite so it is even weirder. The church was absolutely packed with family and friends coming together to celebrate this union. When the usher asked groom or bride we said both so it didn't matter where we got to sit. Since there is such a rich history from the church with these two, there were also in attendance many ministers that had been a part of their lives, seven to be exact (even the one who renewed our vows.) Needless to say, we had a grand time being a part of the next phase of their lives.

The Hubby's New Toy

Here we are with The Hubby's new toy...2007 Avalance. Now, where is my little red sports car!

The List

I've tried to bolded and italic the things I have done, but ...OK I will number the ones I have done at the end of the line.


Bought everyone in the bar a drink 1.
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
Held a tarantula 6.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
Said "I love you" and meant it 8.
Hugged a tree 9.
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise 13.
14. Seen the Northern Lights
Gone to a huge sports game 15
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
Grown and eaten your own vegetables 17.
18. Touched an iceberg
Slept under the stars 19.
Changed a baby’s diaper 20.
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
Watched a meteor shower 22.
Gotten drunk on champagne 23.
Given more than you can afford to charity 24.
Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 25.
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
Bet on a winning horse 28.
29. Asked out a stranger
Had a snowball fight 30.
Screamed as loudly as you possibly can 31.
32. Held a lamb
Seen a total eclipse 33.
Ridden a roller coaster 34.
Hit a home run 35.
Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking 36.
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment 38.
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
Taken care of someone who was drunk 41.
Had amazing friends 42.
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
Taken a road-trip 47.
48. Gone rock climbing
Midnight walk on the beach 49.
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love 52.
In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them 53.
54. Visited Japan
Milked a cow 55.
Alphabetized your CDs 56.
57. Pretended to be a superhero
Sung karaoke 58.
Lounged around in bed all day 59.
Played touch football 60.
61. Gone scuba diving
Kissed in the rain 62.
Played in the mud 63.
Played in the rain 64.
Gone to a drive-in theater 65.
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
Started a business 67.
Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 68.
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
Gotten married 72.
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
Made cookies from scratch 77.
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
Got flowers for no reason 83.
Performed on stage 84.
Been to Las Vegas 85.
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
Kissed on the first date 88.
89. Gone to Thailand
Bought a house 90.
91. Been in a combat zone
Buried one/both of your parents 92.
Been on a cruise ship 93.
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
Raised children--currently raising child 96.
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
99. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
100. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking 101.
Had plastic surgery 102.
103. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
104. Wrote articles for a large publication
105. Lost 100 pounds
106. Held someone while they were having a flashback
107. Piloted an airplane
108. Touched a stingray
Broken someone’s heart 109.
Helped an animal give birth 110.
111. Won money on a T.V. game show
Broken a bone 112.
113. Gone on an African photo safari
114. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 115.
Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 116.
Ridden a horse 117.
Had major surgery 118.
119. Had a snake as a pet
120. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
121. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
122. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
123. Visited all 7 continents
124. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
125. Eaten kangaroo meat
Eaten sushi 126.
Had your picture in the newspaper 127.
128. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
Gone back to school 129.
130. Parasailed
Touched a cockroach 131.
Eaten fried green tomatoes 132.
Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey 133.
134. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
135. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
136. Skipped all your school reunions
137. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
138. Been elected to public office
Written your own computer language 139.
Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream 140.
Had to put someone you love into hospice care 141.
142. Built your own PC from parts
143. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
144. Had a booth at a street fair
Dyed your hair 145.
146. Been a DJ
147. Shaved your head
148. Caused a car accident
149. Saved someone’s life

Who's the Daddy!

Remembering a Friend

Today is the year anniversary of the phone call no one wants to get. My dearest, dearest friend Gail has been gone from this world for a year now. I so miss her still and will never be over it. This is a online toast to Gail. I love you Gail.

Love in the Afternoon

There is one good reason why being an empty nester is wonderful...it's called Love in the Afternoon! Need I say more!

What has my life come to.

What has my life come to. It is Monday evening and dinner is over, the dishes are done and The Hubby and I are watching our favorite Monday night shows, all on CBS. I say "we" are watching TV and I lie. I am watching TV. It is 8:18 pm and The Hubby has been snoring on the couch since 7 pm. It seems that nearly every evening we do the same dance. Dinner, chit chat a little, The Hubby reads the paper, I check out Blogger or crochet, or crossword.....BORING! We are OLD and stodgy already and we are only 51 years old. So quickly the kids are gone and the run, run, run ceases in a big way. Even The Hubby used to be a workaholic and was gone 7 days a week and worked 10-12 hours a day. Now he's home every night, I'm home every night and we're BORING. I don't know if I can stand to spend the rest of our lives doing this every night. I'm turning into my parents and I'm not ready for that.

My Weekend

We went to the retreat (aka: The Cabin, Heaven on Earth) on Friday afternoon and not a minute too soon. The Hubby (aka: The Boss)was driving me crazy at the office. He was stressed and the employees were not helping the situation. He's behind in billing and could not get anything done for the phone calls from the them. They just have to have him hold his hand sometimes and can't figure out a situation or whatever. He was snippy and mean and I got caught in the crossfire. He was so stressed that I snipped back and he growled that it was a miracle he wasn't home in bed with covers over his head and in tears. I looked him in the eye and I swear I saw tears. He was so stressed and he seems to take it out on me then. The other thing I have discovered is that I am the key to keeping his stress under control. Guess what the secret is. Ladies please take note because I have learned this over 31 years of marriage. SEX!!! Yes, I said it. SEX. This at least is the key to my hubby. Amazingly enough when he is relieved he is so much nicer to me and everyone else. If the employees knew why he is so nice sometimes the next day...hahahahah. This is not the only help. It helps that I'm pretty easy going, I'm patient, and understanding and I love him.

Wild Orchid

All I can say is rum and coke, Saturday night, kids no longer in the house (totally on their own) and the movie Wild Orchid. Is there anything else to say. Well I can say that Mickey Rourke is SO very hot in that movie. Wild Orchid, if you haven't seen it is beautifully filmed and is very close to X and I totally love it. I told The Hubby it is my favorite movie and he reminded me I also said that about Under The Tuscan Sun being my favorite movie. I thought a minute and replied that Under the Tuscan Sun is #2, Wild Orchid is #1 for me.

Monday

Today I had to take my Daddy to have his first cataract surgery. My sister was supposed to but her little boy has pnemonia and she is ill so of course there I was. My brother might have been able to but since I could, I did. This is really beside the point, I didn't mind at all...

Daddy and I drove to the outpatient surgery place and still it was fine, till they called me back to sit with him while he waited to go in. I followed the nurse past curtained cubicles till she stopped and said "Here he is." There Daddy lay on a hospital bed in a plastic shower cap thingy with a hospital top on and an IV drip in his arm. I was pulled immediately back to Momma on her death bed. My breath stopped for a minute. He was glad to see me and anxious to get the procedure over with. I rallied and sat with him while he dosed and waited. When the nurses came in off and on and asked him questions he mentioned Momma and how he missed her. I thought I was going to lose it. I'm telling you that was so hard to do and I have to do it again next month for his next eye.

???

It's Sunday morning and here I sit in our living room having just finished the Sunday paper and enjoying the sunshine that is streaming through my living room window. Finally, we have some warmer days and I plan on soaking up some of the warmth later on today. We didn't go to the cabin this weekend because The Hubby had to do some office work and I had a wedding shower to go to. As it turns out we also had family in town with their 8 month little girl, our great niece. This week is going to be a full one as it turns out I will have to take my father in for cataract surgery tomorrow. My sister D was supposed to take him but she has a sick kid. So Monday I'll take Daddy, Tuesday I'll take Daddy for post-op and next week the 2nd post-op. Next month we do it all over again and I'm waiting for the call that she can't take him again. Our brother, B usually helps too but he's been going out of town a lot with work lately and can't so of course good ole' "Jill" is always there for the back up.

The Hubby announced to me that since I was going to be absent from the office tomorrow that maybe I should go in today (Sunday) and do the mounds of invoicing that he put together yesterday that has amassed on my desk. I told him NO! I am not going to go in on Sunday (I usually do) and besides I have stuff to do at home today. I have got to get my taxes together and ready for the accountant. I hate this time of year. I think he is mad but you know, I spend a lot of idle time sitting at that desk, I can hold a little work for the work week, besides he has held off the invoicing for over a month what's another day or two, Right! ARGHHHHHHH!!!

I haven't heard from my friend about the mess up of the canceled lunch date. I suspect that since she has been taking pain meds that she probably doesn't remember that she made me mad and disappointed me. Too bad but that is usually how it goes for me with her. My oldest daughter Bri told me that I needed to get a new best friend. I told her I have friends but you just don't flush 22 years of a friendship down the drain. I told her I lost one best friend (sudden death) that I could always count on and that I couldn't lose another one. I so miss Gail. She was a different friend and one I could tell ANYTHING too and she would listen. With C I have to hold back and I don't like that because she is too judgemental and I am usually an open book. I will tell you most anything without reservation or embarrassment. I like to have friends who are honest but fair in judgement of me and others.

Oh,,,,I'm rambling again. That's just what happens in this crazy mind that sits in my skull on my shoulders. It kind of goes in all kinds of different directions. I will stop rambling now and toss down another cup of coffee before I dive into the baskets of tax junk.

What a Bum Day!

What a bum day I have had. My day started with a phone call from the lady from Norwalk Furniture where I had ordered my overstuffed chair and ottoman for my special room in our wonderful newly remodeled home. I ordered the chair a month ago and last week she told me the chair was done and they were needing 4 more yards of fabric to finish the ottoman. Well, this morning there was a crisis because the chair was NOT even started and there was not enough fabric because it was a discontinued fabric (she did not tell me that before, and it was the end of the bolt which had some flaws. So I had to go out and look at some fabrics that we might use to make the skirting around the chair and ottoman. I didn't like any of them and so it was back to the drawing board for her to scrounge something to go with the fabric I did choose that I am determined to use. I LOVE it and WANT it!

The other part of my crappy day was that I was meeting two friends for lunch at 11:30. This was the day and time decided on last week and my dearest friend and I discussed it last night. I showed up at the restaurant at 11:30 and waited. I called my best friend and got voice mail and then called the other friend. She answered and asked what I was up to. I told her I was sitting at the restaurant and she screamed, "C called me and canceled." What...why. My friend C told her I couldn't make it and besides she was having back issues and was on a little medication to ease the pain. I was crushed. Here I sat in a very nice restaurant, by myself in the middle of the room and was devastated. The friend E yelled, "I'm on my way. Order me the spinach salad," and then she clicked off. I waited till noon and E showed up and we had a great lunch. Friend C called my phone before E got there and was confused thinking I couldn't make it and apologized. I said that was OK but you know, it was not OK. I'm so tired of these things happening to me. This is not the first time I've been stood up by friends, other friends. What is it about me that people forget about me. Am I again the kind of person I was in high school an actual wallflower, a part of the scenery. I don't know, but I'm bummed.

My and my honey (aka The Hubby) in front of our retreat

A Little Bit of Summer

I know this is wishful thinking but I'm SOOOOOOOOO tired of the cold. I'm ready for Spring and Summer, yes I said an Oklahoma Summer. I'm tired of shivering. Hot flashes are not helping in this weather.

Digital

I have finally won my battle.

First of all our TV/Cable at home sucks. I watch almost exclusively CBS but we have terrible reception. We even had the stupid cable guys out and they told us we lived too close to the tower and we would just have to live with it...and they charged us for the visit...WHAT!!! We watched the Super Bowl with ghosts, red, green and blue hues fuzzing in and out. The score wasn't even visible at the top of the screen. Last night was the last straw. I can't watch my soaps - The Guiding Light and As The World Turns or Survivor or Two In And Half Men so something had to be done. The Hubby finally called today and tomorrow we get Digital Cable and it sure as hell better take care of the problem!

Also - At the office - I have been complaining about being bored sitting at my desk a lot lately and The Hubby had promised me a doohickey that can let me watch TV on my computer but he had to cancel the forever backordered doohickey. I was soooo very depressed about that. I had a TV at the office but it kicked the bucket, then I tried to tape at home but the fairly new VCR bit the dust and then with the stupid Channel 6 problem I was utterly defeated. Well, Friday he finally came through with the doohickey for my computer. Come to find out it is easily picked up at Best Buy...who would have known! It has been installed but the stupid metal building we are in only allows 1 home shopping channel and 2 save my soul channels and fuzzy at that. So, while The Hubby was on the phone with the cable guy for the home system he fixed it so we will get cable at the office. YEE HAW! I am so excited I can hardly stand it. Let's face it I'm a TV-holic to the max.

Get Ready to Laugh

This is hysterical. It takes off a little slow but worth the wait. Turn up and get ready to laugh.

Enough is Enough

Enough is enough. We are now into our 3rd huge winter storm and I've had enough. I hate winter, hate the cold, hate ice and snow. I'm spoiled and used to having or mild winters. To those who claim that we are in global warming...raspberries. I'm cold, I'm tired of washing the salt and sand off my car, I'm tired of having my husband having to taxi me around town, I TIRED OF WINTER and it's only February 1. Please bring on Spring and Summer!

Also-----

I also have to share that today is our anniversary. The Hubby and I have been married for 31 years now. I can't believe it has been that long. It seems that the years have just flown by. I guess as they say "Time flies when you're having fun." That is so true in our relationship. I may complain but he is my best friend and he still makes me belly laugh. He can still surprise me and I will share sometime our 25th anniversary. It was incredibly special.

Pictures from the girl in California!

John Taylor (Duran Duran drummer) and A

Paul Stanley of Kiss fame and A

Rick Springfield and A

More Ice Storm Damage

Here are some more pic's of the ice storm damage at our lake place. Incredible. It looks like bombs went off everywhere. The hillside is just littered with fallen trees and the tops are just gone out of them. A lone golf cart top(my card was full so pic) was absolutely pierced by a huge fallen tree branch. The power and water was off for 7 days which was a very bad problem for those who live there full time. It will take a while for the whole area to rebound from this devastation. On the other hand the ones who love the place for fishing are already making plans to wet a hook because the creek is up and that means the sand bass are biting.

What Country am I!

You're Thailand!

Calmer and more staunchly independent than almost all those around you,
you have a long history of rising above adversity.  Recent adversity has led to
questions about your sexual promiscuity and the threat of disease, but you still manage
to attract a number of tourists and admirers.  And despite any setbacks, you can
really cook a good meal whenever it's called for.  Good enough to make people
cry.


Take the Country Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid

Rick Springfield

OK...my youngest A is in LA at The NAMM Show...some music industry convention and she has talked to Nancy Wilson from Heart, C.C. DeVille, Rick Nielsen of Cheap Trick AND Rick Springfield...so far. She is working at the show for Fender and Gruno (her online DJ Friend) and has only been there for about 3 hours. She called me and I got to TALK to Rick Springfield. So very cool and she said he looked really good. YUM!


I'll have more pic's of her with some of these people.

http://www.thenammshow.com/

Cabin Fever Never

As you may have read in previous posts The Hubby and I have our own business of which I spend a lot of time sitting in a windowless office. Sometimes the day is pierced with tons of phone calls and then there are days when I don't even pick the phone up or see a living soul. I play POGO on the computer and can see outside with cameras from my desk but basically I'm by myself most of the time. Plus the office is nothing but MEN, when I might see them. So, to my story:

Since we have had the winter of the century in Oklahoma I have been home except for one day in which The Hubby insisted he take me to the office. I have been home and throughly enjoying it. I have windows! Last night The Hubby made the statement, "I don't see how you can stay here everyday, pent up, it would drive me crazy." I turned to him with my jaw hanging and said, "What do you mean it's just like at the office only I have windows here. I stay busy. I read, clean, watch TV, water plants, watch the birds, just stuff." It stopped him dead, he blinked and looked at me and then had to turn it back on me, "You know there is stuff you can do at the office if you were motivated (that is the key word). You can answer the phone. The customers don't like talking to the answering service."

OK...First, I am NOT motivated anymore to sit there. Second, then why do we have an answering service if we don't even use it.

I was really pissed at him. He still doesn't get the boredom and apathy I feel sitting there. I don't know if he ever will. He's also upset because I haven't worked out with him since I can't get to Jazzercise. The last time I went with him to workout at his place he embarrassed me and felt like what I was doing was a waste of my time. Unknown to him I have been doing Pilates to my DVD's everyday. HMMMPH!

Next Tuesday is our 31st Anniversary, I guess I had better get over it. HaHaHaHaHaHaHa

More Ice Pictures

Lake house pictures of our steps and the backside of the steps. Also, a registered tree along the creekbank.

Finally done!

It's finally done...the Christmas if finally put away. YEAH! It's not calling me bad names anymore. Mocking me from the front room...My demons are in the attic. HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa....OK, I'm going stir crazy from all this ice and they are predicting more for the weekend. I HATE WINTER...give me a hot Oklahoma summer any day. Bring it on.

I've been so bored that I found my stack of old journals and read some entries. Very scary if anyone should find them and read them "while I'm still on this earth," especially The Hubby. Man I was a mess when I was younger. Poor little me. I certainly wasn't very happy with myself, not my life so much but myself and my attitude towards myself. It's kind of healing to read that stuff and see how far I've come in my life and my thoughts on my life.

Still frozen inside!

I'm still here safe inside the new abode, safe from the frozen tundra outside my door. The Hubby came and took me to work yesterday but he hasn't called today. I don't plan on driving yet till the driveway is a little safer. It's a steep incline and I don't particularly want to be in my neighbors front room. My friend C called this morning though and she was out galavanting around in the icebox we call Oklahoma and wanted to stop by to borrow the book we are reading for bookclub, Jenny McCarthy's "Life Laughs." She couldn't park in the drive or even walk up the drive. She slid down as she attempted to travail the slope. Instead she climbed over the front wall and the azaleas. Wow, what a woman. Not me. I would be in the street on my back saying, "Ouch."

Last night after work The Hubby wanted to have a glass of wine at the wine bar Vintage 1740 (http://www.vintage1740.com/home.html) and dinner at the Itailan restaurant next door but it was closed on Monday's. The Hubby loves to go out to eat when the weather is bad like snow because the places are almost empty. The problem is getting me into the places. I'm not too stable on my feet when it comes to walking...haha...I have taken a few tumbles in the past few years, three of which were in our garage in the old house. But, I actually walked on the frozen stuff into the wine bar and we enjoyed a few glasses of wine with all of the other two people in there. The Hubby's phone rang and he had an emergency call from a customer so we had to go by there and check his electric meter. Then we decided to pick up Jamils (best steaks in town) and take them home to eat. Yum, yum, yum!

Well, that updates my boring life for the past few hours. Not much to do except to STILL put away Christmas. I'm still trying to get it done but just don't want to. Oh well......

Monday is a workday.

Yes Monday is a workday and here I sit at the office again. Despite the ice on the roads, houses, trees and sidewalks nothing and I mean NOTHING deters The Hubby from going into the office. I thought I might get to stay home all day but NO! He called and said he would come pick me up. He would drive into the garage and then into the shop so I would not have to even set foot on the ice. I, of course, said OK. I HATE the snow, ice and winter in general so this is going above and beyond for me. I really couldn't see the point in traveling into the office since the banks and post office was closed, but The Hubby had come in on Saturday and there was a stack of invoicing on my desk I needed to type. So here I sit at my lonely desk getting to WORK! Oh well, nothing better to do I guess than nap, read a book, finish packing up the Christmas, my laundry. Toodles...type, type, type, type.....

Snowed In

It's 6:36 AM

It's 6:36 am Sunday morning and I can't sleep. I woke up to a sound that I figured out was the heat kicking on. I realized I needed to pee so I quietly made my way in the dark to the bathroom then I piled back to bed under the warm covers. All of a sudden The Hubby got up to go to the bathroom. Of course being a man he shut the door so he could turn on the light to see where to aim. Being a woman we do it in the dark just fine, this is our advantage to having "indoor plumbing." Anyway, I heard the toilet flush and then the shower start up. What the...! Since I was already fighting a sinus headache I beat him to the coffee and here I sit.

Yesterday was a pretty boring day. I did nothing. The plan was to take the Christmas down but all I got accomplished was taking all the ornaments off the tree and lay them in the floor in anticipation of being wrapped in tissue paper. I just didn't get very far, maybe today. Last night when The Hubby slid up the driveway and into the garage I had a small pot of hamburger stew and biscuits. We topped off the evening with a glass of wine and watching the movie Sideways.

I hear The Hubby in the bedroom with the blow dryer going, slamming cabinets, and shaving. I'm glad I wasn't sleeping because I would have been awakened by that noise. Well, I guess off to another day of stranded in the house with lots to do but no motivation. The Hubby I'm sure will try to go to the office again to work, nothing stops him, ever!

Ice Storm

Ice storm in Oklahoma...we're sitting tight in a warm home with a cozy fire, several bottles of wine, a pot of hamburger stew and a good book/movie. The only thing that could make this not happen is a power outage and so far we're good. The Hubby of course had to go in to the office to do some paperwork (work for me Monday.)

I'm so glad I'm staying put after seeing this video.

Brrrrrr...Baby it's cold outside.

Yesterday the sky was falling, according to the weatherpeople. Yes it is icy outside,yes it is cold, and yes we should stay inside, but really do we have to have constant television coverage about the weather. I can understand if it was tornados, but it is just ice and snow and we are going to be stuck inside for a few days, so what. The sky is NOT going to fall. The upside is that we don't have to watch commercials since that is where the weather reports pop-up but that does get old.

Today The Hubby will travel out on the icy streets. Nothing keeps him from venturing out, nothing. We decided on not going to the cabin this weekend because he had to work in the office and catch-up on billing. He likes to work on paperwork on the weekends because the phone is quiet and no one bothers him to get him off track. My task this weekend is to take down Christmas. It's all over the house and slowly but surely I have gathered it up and put it around the still adorned tree. I have to climb into the attic to get boxes and I am not a height person so that is unnerving. I've also got to finish a book and maybe take a nap. Yeah this is going to be a nice weekend, all cosy.

Last night we made good use of the cold and fireplace and a bottle of wine (wink). It is wonderful to be empty nesters. Yes, don't fret when those little ones are out in the world, embrace your honey and rediscover each other. It is so much fun. Trust me!

Hot Flash Anyone!

I am here early in the office trying to beat the weather. I missed Jazzercise this morning because I was so very sore from yesterday. I just lazed in the bed and then watched the weather. I thought I had better get some extra milk for The Hubby just in case, so off to the grocery store early. I couldn't believe it when I pulled into the parking lot. It was 7 am and the lot was jammed full. I walked in and fought with the tangle of shopping carts to break one free before I found the produce section. There was one bag of salad mix and most of the other bins were empty. Oh My Gosh! Then I pushed through the crowd of panicked faces to the meat for ham for beans. No chicken, No beef and very little pork stuff. The weather people are scaring people to death with this ice storm thing. It will only be a couple of days and then Oklahoma will warm up again. My goodness people, make a pot of beans or stew and enjoy the weekend inside with a good book. Hopefully the power won't go off but, well, we sell generators so that won't be a problem for us I hope.

Boy, did I miss the reason for this blog. I was sitting here at my desk and my face flushed then my whole body. I thought I was on fire. Thank goodness for the cold outside because I had to step outside and just enjoy the cold. If you know me at all I have always been cold up until this past year and half but today takes the cake. I remember when my mother had her own personal summers and she would be beet red with sweat pouring down her face. Sometimes she would get so hot she would be physically sick to her stomach. Oh wait, that could be the mix of hot flash and drinking. Anyway, I'm finally comfortable now. I guess it is close to that time of life and I am embracing it. Fan anyone!

??? Day

Well, yesterday I went to the doc to just see if the scale is moving in his office since it certainly is not moving in my house. ARGHHHHH!!!! I have amped up my workout and even lost 2 pounds over Christmas, which I put on over the New Year celebration! The only good thing is that I put on a pair of pants out of my closet that have not been worn in probably 2 years and they were barely on then. I put them on and zipped them right up with room to spare so I KNOW my body is-a changing. The doc said that I was in the best "medical" shape that he has ever seen me in in the past 15 years. HOORAY! Too bad the scale is not cooperating. Oh well, I'll keep up the good work.

Lots of stuff are happening again for my family. My youngest is back in California and she says in her blog (Jane of all Trades) that she is back home. The first morning back she got a call for an interview YEAH! But of course they needed her to start in the position right away and she had to say she was committed to a project (which she is not getting paid for) and couldn't. Granted this is only a part time job but it is a job. The guy told her he might have another position that he will look into for her. Then she got an email from a music artist that wants to possibly get her to record his song or something like that. This of course means she needs another computer program (ProTools) to aid with that endeaver. That track is where she wants to be. Whats another $200 or $300 to further her career and deplete my bank account.

The oldest daugther closes on her new home on Jan 24 and tonight is going to buy appliances. This is So very weird because this is the kiddo who didn't want to get married or have kids or even plant roots in one place. She wanted to travel and work somewhere that wasn't in the United States. Now here she is buying a house and appliances and has a guy in her life that she plans to make her future. I cannot quite wrap my head around this since she has been the other way for so very long. I just knew that I would have to travel to visit my kids. Still might with the youngest.

Raising kids is not an easy job. When you're young and get married and spout the words, "I want to have a baby." You really have no idea what it takes to raise them. I totally amazed myself when the oldest was born and we took her home, I kept her alive. Now I know that sounds weird but you just find it amazing that you are taking care of a real live human being and they are surviving. Then they grow up so very fast and are out the door before you know it. The in-between stuff is the easy thing. The ear aches, the tummy aches, the scraped knees and nightmares, the first boyfriend, first kiss, school, PTA, Pom Pom practices, or basketball games, the fights, the rebellion, the worrying in bed at night when they turn 16 and aren't home yet, these are the easy things. Now comes the hard stuff. You worry about what they are going to do with their life and hope to high heaven that you have given them the skills to be self-sufficient when they are out in the world without you. You will always be there to guide them. I'm 50 years old and not until last year did I not talk to my Momma and get her advice on something. That is the part of the job that never ends. This is the rewarding part, when they become functioning beings of the human race.

Concert tonite!

Tonite we are going to see CHRIS BOTTI! I can't wait. I've had my tickets for 3 months and have waited in anticipation for this night. I LOVE that guy. I'll let your know how it went...

Evolution

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LK1NbGRACls

Oh I'm having fun now!

Oh, I'm having fun now. I finally have figured out how to get into my new Beta version and as you can see I am adding tons of pics and changing stuff. I'm having a blast creating. This is so very cool that I just can't stop myself. Enjoy everyone. The old pictures are of my great grandparents home that I LOVED to go to and stay. Way out in the country they totally lived off the land but were also college educated. As you can see by the wishbone doorway I don't have much of a problem with the African mounts since that is what I was used to seeing.

Too Many Checkbooks!

We have way too many checkbooks. We have one for the company, Money Market checking (blue cover), personal checking (computer checks), my Mary Kay checking (pink cover), and my personal inheritance trust checking (brown cover), way too many to keep track of. Well, The Hubby needed to take a check out of the MM Checking to pay for the rest of his African mounts. The checkbooks were at the office, I wasn't, and I told him the BLUE one NOT the Brown on. Well, today I'm trying to balance my mulititude of accounts and noticed a check missing, OUT OF MY personal inheritance trust checking. Now, the first problem is that he is not a signer on the account. The second, is that my account draws interest so it will miss out on a little interest. Goodness, I'll have to reimburse myself. Too funny really.

On the other part of the previous paragraph are the African mounts. A year and a half ago The Hubby went on African Safari for 2-1/2 weeks. He killed a kudu, impala, blesbok, springbok, black wildebeast, and a blue wildebeast. The three very large ones are now hanging in the cabin, those are the kudu, black and blue wildebeast. The others, impala, blesbok and springbok are not proudly staring down at me in our living room in town. Actually, they are very pretty and I really don't mind. I grew up with that at my great grandparents so I'm not offended by it. I told him that he had a VERY understanding wife to allow those to hang in our main living quarters, he agreed.

Now it is my turn to hopefully book my spa trip. I'm looking, just trying to get brave to travel there. I want desparately to go to Austin Lakehouse Spa. I've been dreaming of that place for ever. http://www.lakeaustin.com It would be fun to go with some friends (hint).

A Reading Weekend

OK...I thought this book looked interesting and so I slogged through it this past weekend. The comments on the back made me think it was a non-stop page turner that frankly I had a hard time trying to turn the page to finish. Yuck! I can't believe they actually made a movie of this one. My only thought would be the infidelity throughtout the book, a child molester, anger ridden men who can't grow up, just what they need to sell tickets at the box office. And I heard a TV critic suggest that Kate Winslet might earn an Oscar nod. Perhaps he is right if it is based solely on the performance. This is not worth the time at all and I'm sorry I did.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to all....Oh My Goodness it has taken me awhile to get my other computer to FINALLY let me in so I can blog. I'm so very frustrated with this new version. I hope the kinks get worked out.

Hope all had a great New Year's bash. The Hubby and I spent the New Year at our lake retreat with several other people. We had a cabin progressive dinner. What great fun we had golf-carting to each others cabins and eating, and eating, and eating. I'm so glad I have not made dieting my New Year's resolution. Way too much stress.

I mentioned earlier in a previous entry that I was not going to make resolutions but I LIED! Ha! The only one I am going to make is to journal in my pen and ink journal everyday. I probably will do the online one not quite as often. I have to get my mind into the writing mode if I'm going to succeed in writing. There it is in print!!!

The new year is starting out with a bang. The youngest daughter Af is driving back to California with her roommate/best friend on Friday and I'm a little antsy but kind of ready to have my house back. She's been here for 3 weeks and I was really getting used to being empty nesters. I love her so very dearly but I want her to get on with her life. She is a certified Audio Engineer now but no job on the horizon, just "helping with CD's" which pays NOTHING! She's networking but she may have to do a little starving. I'm just not comfortable kicking her to the curb with no money or support, a beautiful, young girl living in California in the industry that she wants to be in. We'll get through.

The oldest daughter, Br informed us a few months ago that she is moving in with her boyfriend, and then a few days later they were talking marriage, very soon. Now she has put a contract on a HOUSE!!! not very far from us. The contract was accepted and it is an adorable house. I'm so very excited for her. She is a great girl with a great job and future. She is also getting her masters and is planting roots. See I can cut those apron strings successfully, it's just very hard to do.

I'm looking forward to 2007. I hope it brings all kinds of good stuff to my family, friends and myself. Everyone knows who has read my blogs that 2006 has been the year from Hell and I'm ready for some good stuff.

Blackeye peas anyone!!!!!Here's to good luck!

I'm going crazy!

This is making me nuts. I changed to BETA and then could get on, then couldn't, then could, then couldn't and NOW here I am. I can only access on The Hubby's computer after he has gone to bed. I just wanted to write....ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Anyway, Christmas is now over and getting ready for the new year. I'm not making new resolutions because I'm already doing the usual ones; eat better, lose weight, exercise...you know the usual. It's all pretty ridiculus all the fretting and worrying about what needs to written in the journals/diaries.

I finally got my meds for the thyroid a few days ago after the phone call to the pharmacy and two to the doc's office. Seems a nurse has again fallen down on the job. The fax number to the pharmacy was not the right one so the script was lost in fax space somewhere. My gosh what is wrong with people. I hope I start to feel better. Maybe this is what I have needed all along.

On another note...I have always wanted to write, like a novel or short story but my mind lately has been in such a bog I just couldn't collect my thoughts and then all of a sudden I was writing ideas. Incredible, I've written 6 pages of ideas, of stories....YIPEEEEEEE

Finally!

Finally, I've been able to get on here to blog. I changed to the Beta format and it blocked me from signing in. ARGHHHHHH!!!!!

This week has been pretty easy. I have my Christmas done and am just waiting to PARTY!

This will be our first Christmas without Momma. I'm not sure if I should be sad or what. Actually, Momma, I think didn't like Christmas too much EXCEPT to have her family together. When I was little with my baby Bro and Sis, we were so down in money that I remember Momma haggling with a dime store owner in our small town for a very cheap artificial tree. The man would not do it. He was so mean and Momma NEVER went into his store again and neither did I. Momma was so embarrassed and I think that really affected how she viewed Christmas. We had fun, great Christmas holidays but as she got older the season was not very evident in our household. She never sent Christmas cards. In fact, this year I only did a very few, mostly out-of-towners who I don't see very often. It has been kind of hard even though I had THE PARTY OF THE CENTURY!!!!! I just can't seem to get out of the depression I've been and I think I know why besides Momma.

I had a physical in October and have been waiting to get a call or letter from my doctor telling me how I did. Finally, Monday the office called and the nurse said there was a previous nurse who didn't follow up on tons of patients. Anyway, everything was fantastic. My blood pressure, triglycerides, EKG, xray's even my weight was not a concern (more later on that), but, my thyroid numbers were extremely low even though I'm on thyroid medicine. She said it could explain having only 3 cycles this year, tiredness, weight gain, my just not feeling with it. She said they would call in a higher dose of meds....that was Monday, today is Friday and not a word about my meds. I even called on Wednesday and they said the doctor had not signed off yet. Well, he's probably on Christmas vacation now and here I sit feeling like crap!

Sorry. Now back to the weight thing. I've been working very hard to lose the pounds since July (actually for eight years now) and the scale is not budging, AT ALL! My clothes are changing big time. Even my hands and feet are smaller, it's incredible how the little things are changing. This morning the scale ticked down one stupid pound. I guess that's really good during the Christmas season and all the food that abounds.

On another note we had to let an employee go on Tuesday and it was a real bummer to do it at Christmas but there was absolutely no choice. We are in the service/construction field and he was involved in an inappropriate action with a customers relative. This is not a good image for us and so it had to be dealt with immediately. The customer was very afraid of retaliation. We had to be very careful. This has been an eventful week I must what with that incident, our huge office Christmas BBQ and then the thieves we had. What a week.

My Christmas Present

This is my new Christmas present that I asked for, mind you today is December 19....I sent an email to The Hubby of what I wanted with even a link to Amazon for him to purchase. Of course, he had to try Ebay first, his second love (I'm his first). He said for me to order it...I did. It came via the USPS and so I came home to find a notice of delivery. I had to go to the post office...Christmas time yet and wait in line for 30 minutes to pick up my Christmas present. I brought it home and put it on his desk for him to at least wrap. He came home and wanted to know what it was. I told him and he asked why I put it there, I explained. He said he thought I would want to learn how to use it "for" and "before" Christmas. So here I am with probably my only Christmas present on December 19. Funny guy...

What an exciting day I've had!

What an exciting day I've had. I ran a jillion errands this morning and finally arrived at the office around 10:30 to find The Hubby in the back storage closet. This storage closet also holds our security cameras that surround the building and inside. He was trying to find who possibly had gone dumpster diving in the dumpster because the stuff he put in the night before was out on the ground. What he found was a guy walking back to the back of the parking lot and then walking out of the gates with a huge roll of aluminum wire on his shoulder. We checked the front cameras and saw him get into a truck and take off. Boy, was The Hubby ticked off. So I was told to watch the cameras and then he locked the gates (the lot is also where the employees park their cars). I watched off and on all day long on my computer and then about 2:30 pm (The Hubby was gone) I heard a noise at the side of the building. I pulled up the cameras and saw a guy walking away from the dumpster WITH THE GATES STILL LOCKED. I yelled at "Ben" who is our estimator and he got up and ran and then I yelled "it's the same guy as this morning." I ran after "Ben" out the back door and he yelled at the guy who just tossed another roll of wire over the back fence. He hollered at the guy that he was on camera and then the guy jumped over a low area on the fence and ran around the front of the shop. I ran up front and out the front door to encounter a truck with two greasy guys sitting in it. Funny, the first truck was white or primer and the second truck was navy blue with a camper shell. I stood there with my hands on my hips and my nostrils flaring at the guys. The passenger was creepy with long black greasy hair. He yelled at the driver just as the guy from the lot ran around the corner and tried to jump in the camper shell back part. The truck started to take off and the idiot wire stealer stumbled off the back and yelled at the truck. They stopped and he threw himself in the truck and they peeled off. "Ben" yelled he had their license plate and as they drove by me I ran to the street and caught the license too. Just yesterday I took my camera out of my purse. If I had it still I could have taken a really good picture of the idiot passenger and then ran inside. What nerve these idiots. We had TWO company cars sitting out front and they had the stupid idea of robbing us in broad daylight. Of course we called the police and hopefully they will get caught. We surmise that they had to do it during the day so they could sell the wire and get money for their drug habit or beer for the weekend. Stupid guys, the price for aluminum is not that good compared to copper, which is INSIDE....STUPID BRAINLESS IDIOTS.

The Big Bash

Well, the party is over and I am glad and sad. It was great fun to prepare and great fun to host and see all of my friends and laugh and drink a LOT of wine. Ooooooooo...When the last guest had left I made my way to the powder room and made my offering to the Wine Gods....I slept on the cold floor (actually The Hubby found me a thermal hunting rest to lay on) till about 4 am and then spent most of the day in bed. Here I am 3:30 pm and able to walk upright. The Hubby was WONDERFUL. He cleaned up most of the food mess and washed ALL of the wine glasses. He's great...ok the wine is still talking again..haha...Neighbors, friends and family, the banker, the realtor, the plumber, the contractor, the architect were all here to celebrate the Christmas season and the remodel of our house. It has been a very hard year for me and this just helped to put the year behind me. I am happy to share all the good things in my life with my family and friends.

Ohhh, I'm going to start to cry...wait...no...that's my stomach churning...Gotta go BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEe.e...

Twas the Night Before Christmas 70 style

“Twas The Night Before Christmas”


Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the pad
Baby, nothing was happenin’
Real quitesville, Dad!

There were ornaments strung round the espresso bar
And one dangled from Arthur (like that’s my guitar!)
And our stockings were hung, because, man, like I mean
We hoped Nicky Baby would soon make the scene.

Mother turned down the sound on the hi-fi and then
She curled upon the floor with a volume of Zen
And the pad was real quiet and peaceful and still-
Then suddenly Bang, it was gangbusterville!

Man, from way out in space came a powerful roar
That was so loud it blasted us right from the floor
I lost all my cool and my console slammed shut!
I was so bugged I dropped my best stereo cut.

Like I couldn’t feature what sounded that way
I forgot my turtleneck, shades and beret
And I ran to the window (my knees were both quakin)
Like I stuck my head out to observe what was shakin.

I looked up in the sky and what scene did I dig
But eight wild baby elks and a chrome-plated rig
A fat little pilot with a Gabby Hayes beard
Wow! Like, man, it was weird!!

His frame was all covered with red and white fur
And I thought that he looked like a swing’n Ben Hur
But the fat man was wailin and I don’t mean maybe,
So I knew in a flash he must be Nicky Baby.

This gig behind schedule, I heard him explain
Then he called all his elks by each of their names-
Go Ringo! Go Tonto! Go Flash and Saber!
Go Batman! Go Bogie! Go Mutt’n Jeff too!
Then down they all pranced-seven tons on the roof
And it looked like a discotheque out on my roof!

Nickey made for the chimney and flashed a big grin
Yelled, “Geronimo baby!” And pow! He fell in
When he jumped from the fireplace in a big cloud of dust
His grab bag was so stuffed I thought it would bust!

Then, man, like I flipped when he opened that sack
And said, “look what I’m fix’n to lay on you, Jack!
He had enough equipment to stock a whole band
A solid gold trumpet and a cool baby grand!

And then Nickey said, “Cook it! Like baby that’s it”
The sun’s coming up and this cat’s got to split.
So he filled up our socks and we thanked him a lot
Then he uttered “Shazam!” And took off like a shot.

He jumped into the fireplace, gave out a loud whistle
And blasted straight up, like a solid-fuel missle
Then he hopped in his buggy and we heard him shout
“Up, up and away” and he really moved out!

As he said into orbit - it was most out of sight
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

OK...I like snow OK but ONLY if I don't have to get out into it. Today The Hubby and I started to get up as usual to go workout but of course decided against it when we looked outside. Sleet and ice....I hate that stuff. We (I) ended staying home all day long and The Hubby even called all the employees and told them to STAY HOME! Good call. Of course knowing The Hubby he can't sit for long and so off he slide down the sloped driveway to find snow melt and try his luck on the ice. I have a feeling he will be in the office tomorrow no matter the weather. The really bad thing about all of this is that we are having an all out Christmas party BASH on Saturday night, catered and bartender and all. I HOPE this doesn't stop people from coming and I PRAY for lots of sunshine. PLEASE SUNSHINE. The weather guys this morning said Saturday would be 40 degrees but tonight they said 31....This also means my cleaning lady might not make it to the house so I may have to spend my time sweeping, mopping, dusting etc...That's OK though the house isn't too bad.

What is it with these weather guys. You would think there was a tornado coming or something. They really get off to the weather and interupt the TV shows EVERY commercial break to give and update that it is SNOWING and it is COLD! WE KNOW ALREADY!

Errand Day

Today was errand day. I had to run tons of errands to get ready for the big party. This morning I headed out at 5 am for Jazzercise then after the killing workout I headed home to ready for the day.

9 am: My first stop was a Mary Kay delivery then on to the tag office. I HATE going to the tag office and will drive south of town to go to one in particular because of the nice people and fast service. Fast was an understatement today. I was in and out, with check written, in less than 5 minutes. I couldn't believe it. I then had a head start on the day so I had time to go to a local garden center that was decked out for the season. A few more decorations to adorn the house and then on to get gas. I then headed for the mall to Coldwater Creek for a party outfit. I was also able to get a Christmas gift for my father as I ran through a store. I'm a fast shopper so I was in and out of the mall in less than 30 minutes and spent $400. I then headed for the stop I intended for the day in the first place. I had to go to the cemetery to see Mom's new marker. It was beautiful. Daddy had called on Thanksgiving from there sobbing that it was beautiful. Wow, I got a lot done and it was only 11 am.

11 am: I flew home to unload my car load of goodies and a quick sandwich before running to the office. On my way to the office I stopped by the New Balance shoe store for new workout shoes. It was a quick stop since I just told the salesman I wanted what I was wearing. In and out of that store in 5 minutes and then a quick run through the Williams Sonoma store. Finally, on to the office to open the mail and answer a few phone calls and pay a couple of bills.

2:30 pm and I hit the grocery store for dinner and stuff for the party, i.e. lemons, limes, Coke, olives...Then home again to drop off another load of stuff and marinate the steaks for dinner.

3:15 pm and I'm running to a strip center that has three stops I need to go to. The first is a stationary like store for Christmas napkins and a couple of stocking stuffers. Then two doors down to an agriculture store for bird food for the canary and parakeet. Then my final destination...yeah...my pedicure. 4:30 pm and I plopped down in the chair and closed my eyes while "S" did her magic.

5:30 pm and I back into the garage and began dinner, actually a quick steamed asparagus and sweet potato in the oven to go with the marinated steaks. Yum. Now here I sit typing away sharing my busy day.

Tree's up!

OK...the tree is up. WHEW...My back is killing me. I would take a picture and post it but I haven't got my new digital camera I have been wanting since this fall but I'm told I will get one for Christmas. My tree is beautiful. I've already pre set up for the food to be delivered. I'm half-way there except for the store, liquor store, etc.....

Oh and an update on the new vehicle...I'm posting a picture of what it would look like WHEN it is fixed up. It's in bad paint shape but I went for a spin and it is kind of fun. The inside is pretty yucky. At least it will give The Hubby something to do again. He's bored.

Decorating Day

Last night I climbed into the attic and retrieved box upon box of Christmas decorations. I love to decorate for Christmas but this time I have a week to get my house totally decked out. The Hubby and I are hosting a huge catered party with "hopefully" close to 100 people. I sent the invites out last week but have not had much of a response but I'm hoping that just means people are coming. People just don't RSVP anymore. Anyway, I'm going to be totally engrossed in the art of adornment today.

Yesterday The Hubby spent his second day in a tree waiting for a poor defenseless deer to walk by and lose its life. The only way I could do that is if I was extremely hungry and lived off the land like my great grandparents. I had never seen a live deer in the wild till I was an adult. I grew up with seeing dead ones hanging in trees gutted. Yeah I know. YUCK! WHOA...I need to get back to where my mind was going. Last night The Hubby received a phone call on his cell phone and I heard old car???? He finished the call and I asked what that was about. He told me he bought a 55 (or 56 or 57) Chrysler Windsor. Uh What! Excuse me. I don't get it. You know if I did something like that I would never hear the end of it. EVER!!!!!! Don't get me wrong I don't mind but what the heck. WHERE IS MY SPORTS CAR, MY CONVERTIBLE, MY FUN CAR!!!!!!! I've been asking for some time for my own fun car. Maybe next year?

Oh well, on to the Christmas tree...Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas!!!!

Turkey Day

Whoopee! Turkey Day is almost here. I love this holiday and LOVE to cook turkey. I'm cooking a 21 pound and an 18 pound for about 20 people. I am doing two because there is NEVER enough left over to send in care packages or a yummy turkey sandwich on fresh white bread, Miracle Whip and a few dashes of Tobasco. YUMMY! Can't wait. 'Tis the season to EAT!!!!! Gobble Gobble Gobble

Solitude...well maybe!

I’m sitting here in our wonderful cabin by a roaring fire listening to Christmas music - Vince Guaraldi’s A Charlie Brown Christmas, Peter Mayer’s Stars and Promises, and Chris Botti’s December. I’ve been drinking Swiss Chocolate Almond Coffee, on my couch, in my pajama’s, watching my bird feeder swing back and forth with black capped chickadee’s, purple house finches, and gold finches. I don’t have to do anything until dinner tonight at 6pm for Thanksgiving at the lake.

Finally a day to myself...a weekend to myself. I can’t believe all my planning to no avail and then this weekend just fell into my lap. The Hubby has decided to go deer hunting today and then tonight enjoy a fireworks show and laser light show to celebrate Oklahoma’s Centennial. I’m not particularly fond of fireworks and so here I sit throughly enjoying the peace and quiet.

Last night I watched TV and played solitaire on my laptop (no Internet here) till I nodded off about 9 pm. I padded off to bed leaving the TV on (timer to go off-HELLO, I’m at the lake in the woods by myself) and was asleep very quickly.

I awoke this morning and realized how very quiet it was. I opened my eyes to look at the clock and saw 6:57 am. Wow, I haven’t slept like that in awhile. 4:30 am is my usual wake up for work out. I think I would have stayed in bed if the potty wasn’t beckoning me. I lay there looking out the window at the tops of the bare trees, at the gray sky hoping for sunshine. Fall is here and the trees are naked. A bushy tailed squirrel ran along a branch with a huge acorn in his mouth. Funny little guys that play and chase each other round and round the trees. I rolled out of bed and trudged to the living room to stoke the fire.

What a life. “Living The Life of Reilly,” my mother used to say. No kidding. Who would have thought 31 years ago (Jan 2007) when The Hubby and I married that we would be in this position in our lives. We were young, 19 years old, probably not $500 in the bank, living in an apartment with used broken down furniture that was given to us. The television we watched was a hand-me-down from my grandmother that gave everyone green faces. We budgeted everything and spent Saturday afternoons at the laundrymat doing our laundry together.

We now have our own business, own the building, own 2 homes, raised two beautiful daughters, have tons of friends, and are blissfully happy. What more could a person ask for.

Wow, I’m getting nostalgic. I have to stop that or I’ll want to go home today. I’ve been trying to write a short story or something but just can’t seem to get my mind on writing fiction today.

I’m supposed to be reading a book for book club called The Red Tent, by Anita Diamant but just can’t get there either. I bought a book Thursday called The Wisdom of Menopause, by Christiane Northrup, M.D. and WOW what an eyeopener. I didn’t even make it through the introduction before I was underlining with my pencil. THAT IS WHY I’M FEELING THE WAY I DO SOMETIMES. It’s was like I had written the book or she was reading my thoughts and feelings. She talks about how “for most women, identity and self-esteem are generated by our associations and relationships.” She goes on to say that “men, by contrast, usually get most of their identity and self-esteem from the outer world...” Totally have felt that. One paragraph on page 4 talks about women who are the age and area I am finding themselves either turning to the old ways of nurturing the hubby (like the children), caretaker at the expense of their own needs, pushing the need to pursue their own creative passions. And then she goes on to talk about a husband saying “Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.” WHAT!!!! I have so totally heard those exact words come out of The Hubby’s mouth.

Page 6, and I will quote Dr. Northrup, “The dilemma for me and women everywhere is that we often feel guilty about self-revelation, because by being true to ourselves and our own feelings, we feel that we are betraying others, especially family members.”

That was a powerful statement for because I have very often felt this way, especially lately. Dr. Northrup’s book I think will help me deal with these feelings I am going through right now. My year has been fraught with MAJOR upheavals in my life.

My Time Line:
January-Became Empty Nester
March-Best Friend Died
June-Turned 50 and Dog Died
July-Mother Died

These are major occurrences that by themselves can be handled but I’ve been hit with all at once along with the peri-menopause symptoms on top of them. I guess I can deal with all of this and probably come out on the other side a new and improved Me. What doya say. I say YES!


P.S. Sunday...Well, my peace and solitude was short lived. The Hubby came to the oasis away from home last night after the celebration. He fell asleep on the couch so I still had the king size bed to myself.

Up at 4 am

I was startled awake at 4 am this morning by my cell phone playing its tune in the living room, in my purse. I stumbled to the elusive purse and dug my phone out to see that I missed the call. I knew who it was from though, out 21 year old daughter, #2. I quickly rang #2 back to see what was up. She is in California, on her own (with a roommate), trying to live her dream. She answered and was crying. I didn't panic but was afraid she had been hurt or in a car accident or something bad. She sobbed that she had messed up and was afraid and boy was my mind working overtime. I made my way to a back bathroom to try to calm her down so her father wouldn't wake up but that was not to happen. I heard him coming and told him she was alright even though I wasn't sure yet. I finally got her calmed down and found out she and her roomate had been drinking. She has just finished her internship as an audio engineer and now comes the job of trying to find a job. Her problem is she's not sure about that and since she is woman in male dominated field her road is already proving difficult. She's already dealing with leacherous old men, drugs, and the glass ceiling and is frightened so far away from home and Momma and Daddy. She's also dealing with the death of our friend, our dog and my mother. A lot has happened in our and her life this year and being so far away from makes it harder to deal with. I finally got her calmed down and then had to deal with The Hubby when I padded my way back to bed.

Since it was time to get up and get ready for workout I just went ahead and got ready but I also had to deal with the questions from the Hubby. He couldn't understand her calling in the middle of the night for one thing. I said she was drinking and he immediately thought "drinking", like a problem with alcohol. NO! That's not what I meant. She was drunk. Man he can go off the deep end very quick. I explained she was just having a meltdown triggered but the drinking and just needed to talk to her Momma. I have no problem being Mom and the ear she needs to lean on. Then he went off on he thought she needed to move back home (not our house mind you) and go to the junior college because she'll never get anywhere without a college education..yada,yada,yada. I went off AGAIN! What's the deal with this. We have managed VERY successfully without college educations (I have one now). We have gone down the path of college for her and it is a waste of time and money on both parts. She HATES school. It was all I could do to keep her in high school much less college. I hated getting so angry that early in the morning but he is "One Note Charlie" on this subject.

Beside all of this I'm very worried about my child and her future and her well being and her decisions. I don't need him harranging me about her right now. She will be OK, she just has to tap into what got her to this point in her life right. She has to use her passion and desire and determination to proceed for her dream. We will be behind her up to a point and she knows this. She feels very guilty about still using our money but she has no choice since she is driven. While we are able financially and she is young I am very behind her and I'll fight for her to reach her dreams...to a point.

Another blah day in Tulsy Town

I am again sitting at my desk waiting for 4 o'clock to roll around so I can have an excuse to LEAVE this office. What a blah day with nothing and I mean NOTHING to do all day long. I've been sitting at this closed in, windowless office since 8:30 AM piddling at my desk. I paid a few bills, logged in a few payments after the mailman FINALLY showed up, took a couple of phone calls and just have been sitting here all day long. No wonder my backside is flat and wide. When you do nothing all day long but sit on the damn thing it has nothing to do but go flat and wide.

I have made a decision, of which I really can't put to use till probably January. I am putting my foot down, actually slamming it down with The Hubby. I am going to take a day off every week. I think Wednesdays would be nice. I will sit him down, look lovingly into his baby green's and tell him that for my sanity and my backside I'm taking one day off EACH and EVERY WEEK. There will also be some ground rules. I can do whatever I want to do and he CANNOT call me on my cell phone or anywhere, only in the event of death or someone bleeding somewhere can he interupt my day. That also goes for him NOT showing up at home unannounced. If he knows I'm home he either calls with a serviceman upon the doorstep, or he forgot I need to type something at the office he forgot about or someone needs RIGHT THEN, or he just has to see if I'm doing what I say I'm going to do. Example: "I'm going to stay home and unpack the rest of the moving boxes." An hour into the project he shows up with his exercise bag. I ask, "What are you doing here." He says, "Oh, I was just driving by and stopped by, for lunch. What have you gotten done."!!!!!!!WHAT!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!

I love the guy but we have lived together for almost 31 years and worked in our business together for 27 years. I need a break. Every evening, everyday, every weekend ...I need some space from the intensity of togetherness. I have told him this and I think he gets it sometimes but sometimes he is like a wounded puppy and asks if I don't like to spend time with him. ARGHHHHHHH!!!Come on man, back off some PLEASE.

WHEW, sorry all who have to read about my rants but when I have that much time on my hands I get a little crazy. Wish me luck with "The Talk".....

Boy, Have I Got News

Boy, have I got news. Our 27 year old daughter finally told us a couple of months ago that she is dating a guy that she really likes. This is the FIRST time she has EVER brought a man into our midst since high school. She really likes him, but wait...more news is on the horizon. The girly has sprung on us that he is going to move to our hometown and they are going to buy a house "TOGETHER". I'm sooo very excited for her although I am not a fan of "living together" I support her. I'm kind of an old fashioned girl getting ready to celebrate 31 years of wedded bliss. The Hubby was surprisingly OK with this. I was very shocked by his reaction. I've been on him for years to quit dictating her life and I found him shooting my words back at me. My only concern is that my Daddy will not be very pleased with the situation and especially since I don't think he likes the new guy much. Uh Oh! I did hear through the grapevine though that it probably won't be till next summer and that they might be married by then...WHAT!!!!! This Mom is always the last to know her business.

My New Toy!

The house is full of the wonderful smells of deer and elk jerky. The aroma of spices and smoke permeate the air to the point of making you choke. The Hubby has decided to dig out last years game from the deep freeze so he can fill it up again and since I won't eat the stuff unless it is summer sausage or jerky, well the dehydrator is just a whirring away in the garage.

I usually leave my windows open when I park in the garage but this morning when I jumped in the Tahoe and pulled out of the garage the smell of jerky followed me...ALL DAY LONG! My car may never be the same.

Since jerky is at the fore thought of The Hubby's mind, yesterday he came upon a meat grinder thingy that you attach to a Kitchen Aid Mixer at a garage sale for $5.00. He was very happy with himself. Then he realized he needed the mixer part so he tried to find a used one on EBAY. STOP------I do not want a used mixer. I told him I have ALWAYS wanted a red Kitchen Aid Mixer NEW! I have been using a $5.00 hand helf mixer for over 20 years and was waiting for the perfect kitchen in which to put on and NOW since I have the perfect red kitchen, well, I wasn't going to have a used one. So, today he went shopping and then ended up back home and got online. When I returned home he informed me he bought one online, RED, and was very proud of himself. Me too. I'm excited to start baking again.

Way too soon!

I can't believe it is almost time for Thanksgiving and CHRISTMAS! It is just way too soon for the holidays. I'm not even ready literally and emotionally. It will be a hard time for me because Thanksgiving Day is when Momma first really started going downhill. In fact, she and Daddy left our house right after the turkey dinner and headed home but were soon on their way to the hospital of which she had an upper respiratory thing going on. Now that I look back we knew it was close to the end. Seemed like it was a roller coaster ride after that.

Oh well, I need to make plans for a better year. Yeah, that's the ticket! I'm planning a huge Christmas party at our wonderful new house and look forward to an all out bash! So much to do that my mind won't have time to ponder the sadness, I hope. Wish me well all....toodles.....

A Difficult Day

I have had a difficult day today and actually a difficult week. Last week I had to go and pick out and order the marker for my Momma's grave. YUCK! What a horrible task I have been chosen to do. Today I finally got the check from my grandmothers trust to pay for it and so I thought I would got to Momma's grave. I DON'T LIKE to do that sort of thing but there I was wandering around that stupid cemetery looking for a fairly fresh dug grave. I spent 30 minutes stumbling around the markers trying to find it, even with a stupid map. Finally, I figured the map out and lo and behold there it was. I knew it because she is buried next to her mother and father. Actually, she is next to her beloved father, her best friend. I stood over her very green plot and cried. I HATE doing cemeteries. I can't believe I stood there and did that. (I want to be cremated and scattered please.) I'm having another bad week I guess because Daddy has taken that trip halfway across the US and then the financial stuff, including the stupid marker. I hate it that when something needs to be done I GET TO DO IT! I hate being the responsible one ALL THE TIME!

Then I find out that my Thanksgiving plans for the USUAL festivities at our house may have a big hitch in them. There is a tentative family reunion for The Hubby's side of the family 100 miles away. I have been the Turkey Day Hostess for the past 20 + years and I DON'T want to stop that, especially since both of my kiddos are probably not going to be here and it will be the first holiday since Momma died for my family. I am really perturbed at the whole situation. I need some semblance of normalcy this year since the first part of the year was so f*****ed up. Sorry, I'm really angry about the whole situation and I don't think The Hubby truly understands. I actually kind of snapped at him at dinner and he was taken aback for a minute. I think HE thinks that I should be over all this by now but for goodness sake it was my MOTHER, MY BEST FRIEND, and our sweet PUPPY that have left this earth and I am devastated. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need time to deal with it and heal.

Whew!

Well, my Daddy took his trip. 71 years old and I was on pins and needles the day he decided to drive himself 1,000 miles to see his Sis. As the time for his trip approached I helped him get his financial affairs in order...just in case. You just never know and since it has been so soon after Momma's death I just needed to get it organized for my own peace of mind. Anyway, last Thursday morning he took off. I got a call at about 5:30 pm our time and he had driven 649 miles that day. I couldn't believe it. He said he was so bushed he didn't feel like eating. I panicked a little and told him he HAD to eat. He reassured me that he brought his Ensure's and was OK. The next evening The Hubby and I were at our lake retreat and around 7 pm I suddenly realized I had not heard from ANYBODY whether he had reached his destination yet. I immediately started the phone calling and was on the verge of utter and total panic when I finally got hold of my Sis and she said he was sitting with his sister visiting and reminiscing and totally lost track of time. The first WHEW! I knew he would enjoy his time with his Sis. Now we had to worry again when he would hit the road back home. I got a call Monday evening from my Sis to tell me that Daddy was again on the road. Yesterday my mind was preoccupied with thinking and worrying about him on the road by himself. I just could not take losing my Daddy so soon after Momma. Last night, Halloween, I was relaxing home after work and waited to call him about 6:30, HOORAY! He answered the phone. The second big WHEW! Daddy was Mr. Chatty Cathy about his trip although I could hear the exhaustion in his voice and the sadness. Daddy's sister is older than him, 78 and in terrible health. It had been about 8 years since he had seen her. Her husband is also in horrible health so I think my Daddy realized that it would be the last time he would see them, again reinforcing the fact that Momma was also gone.

It's a total fact that regardless of what we do with diet, exercise, or plastic surgery death is a fact of life. We can try to disguise it but trust me the mirror lies and your mind and eyes lie to you. I look in the mirror every morning after I've done the face painting and think, "Hey, not bad." The fact is the mind sometimes deceives itself. We had family pictures done the other day and I thought I looked pretty good that day, NOT! We got the proofs and amazingly enough I saw fat, wrinkles, skin changes and I HATED it. What has happened to my body and face. I'm not ready to be old yet old is staring me in the face every time I look in a mirror.

Sorry, for being a downer. Just having a bad day I guess.....