Friday, November 17, 2006

Up at 4 am

I was startled awake at 4 am this morning by my cell phone playing its tune in the living room, in my purse. I stumbled to the elusive purse and dug my phone out to see that I missed the call. I knew who it was from though, out 21 year old daughter, #2. I quickly rang #2 back to see what was up. She is in California, on her own (with a roommate), trying to live her dream. She answered and was crying. I didn't panic but was afraid she had been hurt or in a car accident or something bad. She sobbed that she had messed up and was afraid and boy was my mind working overtime. I made my way to a back bathroom to try to calm her down so her father wouldn't wake up but that was not to happen. I heard him coming and told him she was alright even though I wasn't sure yet. I finally got her calmed down and found out she and her roomate had been drinking. She has just finished her internship as an audio engineer and now comes the job of trying to find a job. Her problem is she's not sure about that and since she is woman in male dominated field her road is already proving difficult. She's already dealing with leacherous old men, drugs, and the glass ceiling and is frightened so far away from home and Momma and Daddy. She's also dealing with the death of our friend, our dog and my mother. A lot has happened in our and her life this year and being so far away from makes it harder to deal with. I finally got her calmed down and then had to deal with The Hubby when I padded my way back to bed.

Since it was time to get up and get ready for workout I just went ahead and got ready but I also had to deal with the questions from the Hubby. He couldn't understand her calling in the middle of the night for one thing. I said she was drinking and he immediately thought "drinking", like a problem with alcohol. NO! That's not what I meant. She was drunk. Man he can go off the deep end very quick. I explained she was just having a meltdown triggered but the drinking and just needed to talk to her Momma. I have no problem being Mom and the ear she needs to lean on. Then he went off on he thought she needed to move back home (not our house mind you) and go to the junior college because she'll never get anywhere without a college education..yada,yada,yada. I went off AGAIN! What's the deal with this. We have managed VERY successfully without college educations (I have one now). We have gone down the path of college for her and it is a waste of time and money on both parts. She HATES school. It was all I could do to keep her in high school much less college. I hated getting so angry that early in the morning but he is "One Note Charlie" on this subject.

Beside all of this I'm very worried about my child and her future and her well being and her decisions. I don't need him harranging me about her right now. She will be OK, she just has to tap into what got her to this point in her life right. She has to use her passion and desire and determination to proceed for her dream. We will be behind her up to a point and she knows this. She feels very guilty about still using our money but she has no choice since she is driven. While we are able financially and she is young I am very behind her and I'll fight for her to reach her a point.

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