This and That Monday

Good morning all.  Lots to chat about.  First is the sketch for the day.  I did it at 6:30 this morning because I was awake at 4 AM!!!  Honestly I dozed off about 10:30 last night and didn't wake up till 4 so I guess that's good, not even to pee!  My first thought as my eyes opened was, yes it is still dark outside but my there is an awful lot of light streaming through that damn sheet!  We have a fairly thin sheet over the newly installed window until we get something else to cover it.  I took him to task yesterday about why he says that the shutters are too expensive over what we've already spent on everything we've done plus more to come. I fessed up he really does not like shutters, but I said I DO and that is really what I want.  I've thought about it and thought about it, and I've looked at drapes but I really want shutters.  If I go ahead and let him win and have to look at the drapes for the rest of my life I will be sad and unhappy about the decision.  He has had his way on so much other stuff, the windows, the garage, which I had no say so about.  These shutters are what I need to make a decision on.  

And to be clear, most of the time this man of mine is absolutely oblivious to most of his surroundings.  He would not have made a good cop because he is not observant.  I mean I walked out of the house this morning and I can tell you that as I walked past him he didn't even notice what I was even wearing. If I went missing and they asked him to describe what I was wearing he would be at a loss.  I sat next to him for a couple of hours a few days ago and sketched and he never, NEVER saw me do it later when I showed it to him, asking when I did it.  GOOD GRIEF CHARLIE BROWN!  Yet he obsesses over how the forks and spoons in the silverware drawer are laying, spending an inordinate amount of time making them perfect.  He notices if I move his chair in the slightest.  He notices if we run low on toilet paper, paper towels, mustard not even LOOKING IN THE PANTRY.  I have to get up and look for him because if I give him directions: "third shelf down on the long shelves in the basket," he still can't see it.  After nearly 49 years sometimes it just makes me a bit crazy, but I love him and endure it all, even the snoring and kicking feet and legs every single night when he comes to bed before I can fall asleep. 

Another thing, different subject.  In November I wrote about an incident that happened with my friend, my best friend.  It is still taking a toll on me and I am still angry.  Angry at her, angry at the situation, just angry and not feeling being a friend anymore.  She stood me up and not for the first time.  There have been lots and lots of other stuff that has set my teeth on edge but basically, I'm done.  At least done in the bestie department, but still a friend.  We just do not run in the same circles anymore, we haven't even spoken, SPOKEN to each other in nearly two years and we live miles from each other, but I digress.  Saturday was her birthday and I wanted to just say Happy Birthday to her and wasn't sure how to do it so I just posted on FB HB, knowing that she would respond.  All along she has sent me weird texts, maybe comment on a FB post but that's all after nearly a year.  I have been waiting for at least a phone call to apologize but it never happened.  So I posted HB and she responded with  " Thank you, dear one. Lunch next week? I will pick you up at your preferred location. I promise to grovel. I miss you."  Well, that kind of sent me into a bit of a quandary in my head.  I didn't know how to respond.  I do not want to see her.  I'm still angry and not sure I want to make her cry and see it and that is what would happen if I did.  So I reached out to my girls for assistance and they were great help.  So yesterday I wrote her a note.  A note you ask.  Well, for one thing she never EVER reads her email and text messages can go for days without a reply and frankly, I think that would be tacky to do a sort of "Dear John" letter via tex.  So I sat down an wrote to her explaining I needed a break, I needed to heal, that my expectations of her in this friendship are just not something she is capable of, nor does she know that I have them, which is unfair to her.  We have just grown too far apart and that is quite sad but it is what it is and I am not really sad about it.  We had a great friendship while it lasted but sometimes they can run their course and sometimes find their way back, much like my bestie from high school.  We've reconnected and it's like we were never apart, but it took time, time I need again from this other friend.  I certainly hope she understands.