Finding Time to Write

Last night I went to a 3 hour class at the community college. It was titled "Finding Time to Write" and taught by author Romney Nesbitt, a creativity coach. It was very interesting and I purchased her book hoping to help me get more focused on what I WANT to do. I want to write and paint but finding the time, or making the time seems to elude me. I actually decided something last night. I realized that for years when I thought I was just a procrastinator I was also a perfectionist. I never thought about that before, but it makes sense. I just thought I was a slob and would settle for so-so. I am a procrastinator because I have perfectionist tendencies and I procrastinate because I have trouble meeting the perfection I want to achieve. Does that make sense? Well, sort of in my head. I remember when I was a young, a teenager, doing my hair. I hated my hair and I would work it and work it and would get so frustrated because it was not perfect. I would cry, rip my hair out and throw the hair brush across the room because I couldn't get it right. I've been known to stop a project because there was a mistake or flaw and never finish it. My husband would disagree with me as he is the ultimate perfectionist and that is another problem is that I am trying to meet my perfectionist tendencies plus his. That can make a person crazy, crazy I say. I need to only worry about me and my own perfections.

Just another day in the universe.

Thursday morning, 8:30 am and I'm still in my comfies. I'm catching up on some blog reading, watching Charmed and making a lullaby CD for a friend having a baby. I multi-task well. This has been a most busy week for me with Daddy and work as B has been sick as a dog. I choose not to be around her too much because my immunities are still very low and I might catch. ICK! Today I slept in, at least till 6:30 and finally roused myself to a standing position because I didn't know if the carpenter would show up or not. Can't be running around in my tank and underwear. He's at a stand still at this point and is now on to building a cabinet for the bathroom sink. Yesterday we picked out the faucet and sink part. Hopefully the wallpaper will be in today or tomorrow and we can get it hung. I've already done the dishes, started a new batch of Toddy coffee, and now I need to get a refill on my cup. I'm not in a rush today. I do have to go to work for an hour or so and do one paycheck for our part-time guy who is a fireman as he won't be there tomorrow. It won't take me long. I almost forgot that tonight I have a writing class from 6-9. Oops, that means I won't be home for dinner, again. Last night I bowled and he went to his dance class and Monday I made him take me out as the day with Daddy made me crazy. Tomorrow night will be at the lake so, hmmm, guess I'll cook something and leave it. I know he'd rather have the alone time instead of dinner, sorry guy.

(On the bowling note, I did pretty good last night. My average is 139. The first game I bowled a 145, second 188 and the third a 135. Not too shabby. I so love doing it.)

My plan for the day is:

• gas up my car


• buy 7 picture frames to fill and give the the 7 lovely ladies that were at the sock hop


• buy and cook dinner (or reheat) for The Hubby so he won't be too sad


• work, briefly


• maybe a trip to Daddy's to get some blackberries he keeps calling me about (they're in his freezer)


• ****MAYBE**** wash my nasty car


• go to writing class

Yup, got a lot to do today. Oh, I wrote the letter to my dermatologist and put it in the mail yesterday. Let's see if there is a response from it, or not.

Last night I watched American Idol and really thought it was a waste of my time. There were only two on there that warranted any speck of my time, Nick/Norman and Adam. I was back and forth watching The Biggest Loser which got more of my watching time. I really don't want to watch Idol tonight. I just want to catch who makes it through. I will miss Survivor but will catch it tomorrow morning before work. I also watched the finale of Top Chef and was so very sad that Carla did not win. She was awesome but let Casey (her sous chef) convince her to do stuff she knew was not her. Carla, there was a reason Casey did not win last season. I was glad though that Stephan did not win but he did redeem himself in my eyes when Carla knew she f**ked it up and knew she was not going to win and began to cry. He was very sympathetic to her and teary. Made me go awww. Next week begins the model thingy with Tyson Beckford. I am such a reality show addict. It's very sad. I'll over come it sometime, hopefully.

Painting update and more

Yesterday was a horrible day emotionally for me after the Daddy and hip thing. Today I'm feeling much better. I made The Hubby take me out to dinner last night to suck down two cosmos and that definitely made me a bit happier and helped me sleep. In fact I missed the last 10 minutes of True Beauty where they announced "THE WINNER". I had to get up this morning and watch the tail end on the DVR.

This morning I hit the ground running. The carpenter was here as I was attempting to leave so I had to chit-chat about the bath remodel and decide on a few things. The floor guys were here also to put the first coat of stain on the floor.


I finally got on the road and went to the wallpaper place to put in the order of the lovely paper I chose. In the car again I whizzed down to Broken Arrow to see Daddy and make his appointment for the surgery. I wanted to do it with him around just in case there were questions I couldn't answer. Well, that was a wasted trip as the lady that does that was out of the office till Monday and another lady would have to call me back, today! So, kiss-kiss Daddy's cheek and I was off again. Mind you it was only 9 am and I had done a bunch already this morning. I arrived at the office opened three days of mail because I was gone Friday and Monday. I wasn't supposed to work today but B has the "plague" from both ends and I told her STAY AWAY FROM ME!!! A little work, open some bills, and make a deposit, a quick Lean Cuisine lunch, more work and then off to my painting class. I was not about to let that slip by. It is a nice release for me. This is today's progress picture but you see the others here...

DAMMIT...I already wrote this part but the stupid blogger didn't save it so here we go again....I don't need this, and it was good too. ARGHHHHHH!!!

Bottom line is Daddy's surgery is going to be June 8th. It was the earliest I could get. The problem is that I won't be in the country. The Hubby and I will be in Ireland. We've had it booked and paid for nine months. My brother and sister can handle it and he will be okay!!! (This is not what I originally wrote as it was funny but I have a headache and don't feel like trying to get it out of the saved file in my brain.)

A Hippy Day

I hit the ground running today and never even made it to the office. Thank goodness we have an answering service. Since the entry bathroom remodel is going so fast I had to find a wallpaper. I found one online and went to the store to see if they had it in stock. My track record for stuff like that is nil but I took the chance. I had to wait till 10 when they opened but that was okay as I spent the time getting ready, reading blogs, talking to my cleaning lady and the carpenter. It was 9:45 by the time I left the house. I called Daddy on the way and told him that I would meet him at the doctor/surgeons office about his hip at 1:30. He told me he had to be there at 1:10 to fill out paperwork. Okay, that was no problem. I rushed to the wallpaper place to find out that the one and only paper I liked was discontinued and they only had three rolls, I needed five. He took my number on a tiny piece of paper and promised to call after the distributor called him back if there were more to be found. Yeah right. I was again on the hunt for more places to look for wallpaper as he was not offering to help me at all. A quick stop at Harri's for the bathroom and a little chat and I was again moving. Bad lunch at Taco Bueno (bad girl) and another round of wallpaper books. I left the girl my number and a piece of the one I liked that I had printed off from the website and told her I would be back after the doctor's appointment.

Finding the building where Daddy's appointment was took me a bit. I finally found the right one at 1:30 and walked in to find him sitting, waiting anxiously for me. He filled out part of the paper work and was glad to have me finish it. Sitting in the waiting room with my Daddy and waiting and waiting was agonizing for me. The room was packed with all ages of people, well at least over forty at least. There were canes and wheelchairs in abundance. Some even lined up against the wall with people. One of the wheelchair ladies either got really hot sitting there or she had a stomach bug because a nurse came running out from behind the window with a small trash basket in her hand. She was quick to catch the vomit. I couldn't look. Coughing, hacking and vomit was not what I needed right now with my compromised immune system. There were so many people in the office that there was not a place to sit. I was getting a little claustrophobic with fear of illness. People were going through the door to find themselves coming back out to wait more. Finally at 2:00 his name was called and he with cane slowly made his way to the next waiting area. Actually, that was short. The nurse came in immediately and began asking him questions, most of which he could not hear, one of the reasons I was to be there. Daddy had his x-ray's that his primary care doctor took but they weren't good enough, naturally, so new x-ray's. They handed him a pair of blue paper shorts that he needed to put on. I got the wonderful task of helping him out of his jeans and into the shorts. (Where was my sister or brother.) The doctor was pretty nice and told him that he definitely had bone on bone, arthritis. He could do surgery now or he could wait. It would not get better but probably worse. Daddy went in with the idea that he was doing surgery and if they told him tomorrow he would do it. We were given a card to call tomorrow to set up the appointment for the big day, probably April. Tomorrow morning I will show up at his house where I can tap into him for information and his health insurance cards to set up the appointment. He doesn't hear well on the phone and relies on we kids to do this part. As we were standing in the elevator going down to the lobby I teared up. I was just having a meltdown right there in the elevator. We walked outside and I told him again that I would be at his house in the AM to set up the details and he was glad. I walked to my car in the opposite part of the parking lot and the tears were welling up. I just can't do this. I called my brother and told him what went down and cried. I called my sister and then totally lost it. I just can't do this. I know in my head that Daddy is really in very good health and will be okay but Granny fell, broke her hip, and had surgery. She was never the same. Momma fell, broke her hip, had surgery and died a month later. I know logically that he will be fine but my heart is just terrified. I just can't go through this stuff so soon again without being healed inside and out. I think I'll make an appointment with the therapist tomorrow. This is going to set me up for more depression.

Weekend in Duncan

I'm back from my awesome girls weekend in Duncan. Yes, yes I know there is not much there to do but I have a friend there and she made it an awesome weekend. First, before I go into much detail of the weekend I must say THANK YOU to everyone who commented on my previous post on the awful doctors visit. I am going to draft a letter to the regular doctor this week and let him know what happened. If he condones this practice then bye-bye!

Now for the weekend. D picked me up at lunch time on Friday afternoon and we made a quick stop at Panera for some bread for B as Duncan has nothing to compare. We had a bite to eat and were on our way. Oh, and Donna also made a stop at Whole Foods for halibut, cheeses and fruit for our weekend as again can not be found in Duncan. So sad for a great cook as B is. Finally, we were on our way. The drive was about threes hours of chatter, chatter, chatter. It made the drive very short. We arrived at B & M's beautiful new house and were greeted with hugs and laughter. A quick tour of B&M's house and the wonderful artist's loft B uses to create her beautiful watercolors then we were ready to continue how we started the weekend off at Panera, with food. It seems the whole weekend would be wrapped around FOOD! M cracked open some awesome wine, Rosso by Francis Ford Coppola which I had way too much of and had to hit the blow up mattress at an early 7:30. I'm rushing ahead. Since we hit the town close to dinner and were famished M proceeded to create some wonderful homemade pizzas. The first one was a homemade pesto that B made herself. Next he made a caramelized red onion and tomato sauce and the last a supreme. I'm not sure which one this one was but they were all awesome and made for delicious lunch the next day.Tummies full we hit the sheets. I of course much sooner than the others although they imbibed a bit themselves after I went to bed.

Our Hosts: B & M

The next morning was brought with fresh donuts that M's brother makes in his donut shop and yummy coffee. We puttered around the house reading design magazines, chatting and watching cooking shows and M showed me his Kindle he got from Amazon. I WANT ONE! The plan for the day was to look around the town and do a little shopping. The first place was a clothing store which I bought too many cute little tops. Then we hit a couple of designer stores. A quick trip back to the house for yummy pizza then we were on to a couple of antique shops. One special place B wanted to take us was to a bead shop where she had some special beads and we each made our own earrings to commemorate the weekend we shared.

Back home for more food...yes, yes, yes. B whipped up some a wonderful appetizer of fresh tomatoes, basil, mozzarella cheese, capers and balsamic glaze and more Rosso wine.
Then came the delicious fish tacos that she made with halibut, chopped cabbage, hot peppers and avocado's.

I was stuffed.

D, B and Me after dinner. I'm wearing one of my new purchases and we all have our earrings on. Unfortunately, my face is back to natural as I'm not supposed to wear makeup for a bit because of the eye thing so I'm back to the no bra, no makeup and no shoes!

After dinner we all got our comfys on and headed to the couch for an after dinner drink (I can't remember what it was). We listened to music and then tried to watch a movie.

This morning I heard talking in the kitchen but with no clock in the room I wasn't sure what time it was. It was still dark but the sweet aroma of coffee let me know it was definitely morning. I got up to find B and M puttering around in the kitchen with the sun beginning to peak through. I grabbed my cameras and rushed outside to capture the moment.

Shortly afternoon D shuffled around the corner squinting and asking what time it was. I told her to go back to bed but it was too late, she was awake. M went to the store to get a few goodies for our wonderful chef to cook breakfast and was back in a flash. B go busy frying up bacon, potatoes and eggs but they were all with a twist. The eggs were spiced up with chives and a light goat cheese and the potatoes were spicy with red onions fried in. D squeezed fresh orange juice with a grapefruit added and breakfast was on. After the delicious breakfast we packed up and then made a quick trip to visit a friend of B's and her friends new grand baby. The next stop was a lunch date with D's daughter in Norman where she is a student. It was a wonderful Mexican restaurant called Tara? something. Very good. I rolled back into the truck and fought sleep all the way home. D and I had some really nice talks going to Duncan and then back home. It's so nice to break out and make some new friends. I so needed this weekend and it gives me hope that I will survive this drought in my life with my friendships. I love you D & B and M too. Thank you.

I am so MAD

I am so very mad at my dermatologist office. I went to the appointment and was a little early as I usually am. I was escorted into the room by the assistant to the Physicians Assistant and she asked me what I was there for. (Well, obviously I am here for the icky red eye lid that is glaring at you!) "My eye lid. But I also have another MRSA spot that maybe he can look at to make sure it is healing properly."

She doesn't look up but says, "He will look at that if he has time as only the eye was scheduled for this time slot. You may have to make another appointment."

WHAT.....WHAT.....WHAT!!!!!

Then the PA comes in and he looks carefully at my eye, tells me he will prescribe something and yadda, yadda, yadda...While he writing the script I proceed to tell him about the MRSA and yadda, yadda, yadda. He never looks up but continues to write. He never asks a question. When he is through writing he looks up, hands me the script and tells me how to use it, if it doesn't get better in a week or so to call. Tells me goodbye and walks out the door. I am left sitting on the papered table, holding the blue prescription paper, speechless while the PA's assistant is left watching me. I pick up my stuff and walk out the door feeling so angry I could hardly walk. What the hell just happened. Why not just look at the MRSA. Why do I have to make another appointment when I'm already there and he only spent 5 minutes with me. WHAT THE HELL! I already have a problem with the stupid receptionist people and their awful phone system that you can hardly hear on, now this. I may have to write a letter to the doctor as I've been a patient for over 20 years. On top of it all I really liked, I said LIKED the guy but now I'm not so sure. I am not a happy camper at all.

Weekend Fun

I'm packed, showered and getting ready to run to the dermatologist to check on what is going on with my eye lid. You would think it would be to check on the MRSA in my pit but that is healing. Yes, I will show him the pit but I'm not worried about that. My eye on the other hand is driving me crazy. It itches and flakes and is dry as the Sahara desert. It is also swollen a bit and hanging over my eyelashes. I just can't get a break lately. It's just one thing after another. Now I'm down to no deodorant, the hairy look in my pits, sagging eye lid and NO MAKEUP! What gives. (Deep breath.) Whew...I'll be fine and am going to have a great time this weekend. I'm going with a fairly new friend D to see the other fairly new friend B for a wonderful time and I'm going to ENJOY IT DAMMIT! Toodles everyone and I promise to have pic's.

This is a test...

Okay just went to my blog and all my posts are gone so going to try and post this and see what happens. Seems I read that somewhere.

Sunshine

It is a little after 8:30 this morning and I'm still sitting in MY chair, in MY room with the little heater warming my feet. I slept in and am enjoying sipping the hot coffee still in my PJ's, well, they are my PJ's that I don't sleep in as I sleep nude. I just put them on to run around the house. Hate pajamas. The sun this morning is just brilliant through my window, almost blinding me. I love it streaming through here and warming my forehead and glaring off of my glasses. I know it is a weird picture but it is what is happening right this moment in my little sanctuary.



Last night The Hubby and B went to their group dance class while I skipped bowling and went to a get together with a bunch of my old Jazzercise friends. Since so many have left the center and moved on we have vowed to stay close and meet every other month for talk, laughter, wine, and togetherness. There were about twenty-five of us with tons of food and chatter. I love these women. Here is another example of something feeding your soul. My painting feeds me, my writing feeds me and friends feed me. Several of them told me how much they missed me and my smile and laughter. That makes me feel awesome inside. That alone will heal my body. (I am healing, truly.)

Yesterday I finally was able to connect with the friend that has been causing me so much unhappiness. I just don't know how the best friend friendship is going to stay alive with only seeing or hearing from each other every few months or so. But, yesterday was nice. True it was an hour eeked out of her busy schedule but that was okay and I enjoyed our lunch and chat and I finally was able to give her Christmas presents to her...yeah I know. Funny, she forgot mine. Oh well. Won't let that bother me after a wonderful night as last night.

I'm hiding here in my room as the trash truck whines by and the workers in the entry bath are sawing and hammering and chatting about the job. I will have to sneak through the hall in a minute to hit the shower but right now I'm enjoying the sunshine making me squint this morning. Awww, spring is just around the corner.

Construction

Monday morning the carpenter showed up 8:30 am sharp to start the tear out of the entry bathroom. When we bought the house and did the total remodel there were four bathrooms, one totally done, one only paint on the walls and cabinets and two totally untouched, the entry bath and the master bath. The entry bath was the first of the two as it will be a quick fix and because we are still getting bids on the master bath that is a major job. The master bath will entail adding on to the house with a huge shower, his and her closets and workout area. It will also be connecting to a deck with a new hot tub, french doors to the deck from the bath area and more from the bedroom area. Eventually we will wrap the deck/patio to the kitchen area and add an outdoor kitchen. But that is a later project. The entry bath is the one affecting our world right now. It is small but after the big remodel and the removal of a hot water tank/closet the space was just left to capture to enlarge this room so here we go. Here are some pic's and I will update as we go.

Painting update

This is my painting update. The first one is the original photo. I forgot to take a picture of the background so the green background was the next stage. The second pic is before I applied more paint today. It is so exciting.

What about sleeping in do you NOT understand!

Last night The Hubby suggested a glass of wine at Vintage 1740 Wine Bar and I vigorously nodded my head YES! We like to go there sometimes and enjoy visiting with each other. I suggested that we go to Ciao on Brookside for dinner as we have not tried it before, especially since he was only going to get a frozen stir-fry if we went home. We had mussels for an appetizer...yummy. I had mussels in New York for the first time and now several times since we have been home. My entree was the lobster ravioli and The Hubby had a steak with Gorgonzola cheese sauce. YIKES, that was the best fillet I have ever eaten. I almost wish I had reordered after tasting his. During the evening chit-chat I told The Hubby that I was going to sleep in and not go to my personal trainer. He looked at me and asked why not. I told him I could not sweat as the MRSA would be "irritated" by the sweat. He didn't miss a beat and told me I needed to walk then. Excuse, I'M NOT GOING TO EXERCISE BECAUSE THE SWEAT HURTS MY WOUND! He doesn't get it. I have a serious "wound" and it needs to heal. Besides I also need to heal my body with rest and SLEEP IN! Somehow that still didn't get through the brain so at 4:45 a.m. the TV/alarm went off and he was up. I barely heard it and dosed off to sleep, briefly. At about 4:55 a.m. the TV came on in the living room and was blaring with the history channel and then the VH1 Classic with 80's music. Tink, tink, tink goes the spoon as he is beating his instant oatmeal into a froth. I rolled over and turned off the bedroom TV and try to ignore the din from the other room when I hear him rinse his bowl out and then pad down the hall to his room/den and his computer started playing music from his playlists. He's in the process of cleaning out his duplicate music from the computer. So now we have the TV in the living room and his computer blaring music. THAT'S IT! I got up, threw on some lounge clothes and went into the living room as he was back there and railed at him. I told him I wanted to sleep. He told me to just go back to bed. I can't do that once my mind starts working, Good Grief! So I've already put brown beans in the crock pot with ham hocks, had two cups of coffee, read the paper, finished the crossword and the Sudoku and now I'm blogging, it's 7:25 a.m. DAMMIT! I really need to be in the shower anyway as we have started tearing out the entry bathroom and the workmen will be here in about 45 minutes. Today I need to look at wallpaper and we need to decide on the flooring and will have to have a sink cabinet made. It's a small remodel and I will have pic's when we are done.

Painting class today!

Recap

This is a recap of the past week and weekend as I've been kind of silent. I've again been plagued with the MRSA virus but I think I may be beating it without going on antibiotics again. It is imperative that I get my bodies defenses up to speed to fight stuff off. I'm taking multivitamins, vitamin-C 1000 mg a day, and the probiotic thing. This time around I don't feel bad and that is a plus. Before I would feel very tired and the depression would set in. I would have absolutely no energy. This time I feel good and even kept up the workouts last week to the point that I could hardly bend over from last weeks boxing and Pilate's. OUCH! I've made a big decision on that front too. I've decided to quit Jazzercise. I know I have been a faithful follower for a very long time but since I switched centers I miss my friends and I'm also realizing that it really affects my knees badly. So today I am canceling my membership. Waaaa! I will continue the personal trainer and hopefully this spring when the weather is better and I'm better I will start the walking/jogging thing again. I just need to get me healed and in tip-top health, my priority.

Tuesday I went to another painting class and I'm so very excited with the results. I neglected to take a picture of the base I started with but tomorrow I will. The past couple of weeks I didn't do too much on the piece except fill in the background of muted leaves but Tuesday I actually traced my drawing of the window and fan on the canvas and began to put color on top of the background. I painted the window and fan, basic stuff and by the end of the class when I hung the canvas back on the wall to wait till this week and stood back I was amazed. It looked like a fan sitting in a window. I was just giddy with excitement and awe that I created that. This painting class is so feeding my soul, probably more than the writing right now. Tomorrow I will take pictures before more paint is applied and will continue until I finish the piece. I really can't wait to finish this and start another. Very exciting. Now today I have to try and get something to share with my writing group tonight. I missed last week but need to go this week to keep up a good habit.

Uh, oh...I will finish this in a bit as my MIL just pulled up out front of the office. She is here for me to type some minutes she had to take at a meeting at the retirement community. Her computer is not working right for her so I'm her girl....I will be back in a sec...............................Okay now that I'm back 2 hours later. The MIL had me do her little chore and then had to chat for a bit, then A called and now I'm chatting and blogging...I'm multi-tasking.

This weekend was a blast, that is after the annual meeting at our gated community at the lake/cabin. The meeting was from 10 to 1:30 in the afternoon. Needless to say I was getting very upset with some of the people and their inability to keep up with what was being said. Made me a little nuts. Should have just gone home. Anyway, later that afternoon Sin, Harri and I, PO, PH and JG all showed up to decorate the wigwam for our sock hop that night. I was in charge of music and baked beans and I must say the music was AWESOME! I had nearly three hours of 50's music on a playlist and we danced the night away. Most everyone showed up dressed up with a 50's theme. I wore my bowling shirt that we got at the Bowling Museum in St. Louis. My hair is long enough now that I had a bouncy, curly ponytail with a scarf that my cousin gave me on my 16th birthday. Others were in poodle skirts, long white shirts and The Hubby had his jeans rolled up with a white T-shirt and a package of unfiltered Camels rolled up in his sleeve. His hair is long enough now that he had a duck tail in the back. What fun we all had!

Valentine's Day

Last night at dinner I told The Hubby that he didn't have to buy me a V-day card. He was little confused and stopped chewing for a brief second to ask why. I said that we just had an anniversary with cards (no flowers?) and that we were just getting carded out. I know he loves me and he knows I love him. The cards just keep piling up and I feel bad if I throw them out, but after 33 years my keep pile is getting rather out of hand. Just take me out to dinner. Keep doing your own laundry and ironing and the dishes once in awhile. Once many years ago when my mother called she asked him what he was doing and he replied, "Fourplay! I'm doing the dishes." My mother thought that was just hysterical but you know something, it is very, very true for me. I love it that he is a part of the household and does his part. It was not always like that but I just quit doing a lot of stuff. I quit doing his laundry and ironing because it was not up to his standards I just quit. I did not marry the man of my dreams to be his sex slave or housekeeper! It is a partnership in every sense of the word. Besides I was working at the office and going to school and raising the kiddos while he worked seven days a week, 10-12 hours a day, it needed to be a partnership. Being nice to one another, a touch or a look is all I need for Valentine's Day.

On another note. I am again having another bout of the MRSA virus though not a bad one. I'm hoping that my taking the probiotics, Vitamin C, multi-vitamins, and eating well, rest and exercise that my body will fight this one off successfully without going on yet another round of antibiotics. I just can't do that again. I knew this cold might bring a relapse and I was right. My body is just trying to fight a lot of stuff off. First the cold, then the stupid hit to my lip thing which left me a gigantic mouth ouchy, my body is going to have to gear up to heal itself. Seems to be doing good this time around though. My mouth is healing and the cold thing is better everyday. I'm very tired of being on the wrong side of well lately. It plays with my mind a lot and gets me depressed pretty quick. Last week I mentioned that I was not going to see the therapist for a few months then the very next day the MRSA hit and a few phone calls from a sick kiddo in California and my head took a nose dive. It is amazing how the mind can play such a huge role in your physical health but it does. I've taken some steps on the road to my mental health getting better but I'm hitting some speed bumps trying to get there. I want to write, I want to paint but I need to find the time WITHOUT interruption. I need more than a day here and a day there. I need several days in a row. I have tried to stay home for a couple of days but The Hubby seems to find me. I think I need to run away (temporarily) for a few days. I am going to try and make that happen. Hey, when is spring break. Maybe I can do that at the office if B is not teaching. Maybe I can run to the cabin and just hide for several days in a row. I'll work on that plan.

Rain, Rain, Rain

It's raining. The wind is blowing like nobodies business and now the rain is hitting the window. We need rain but not necessarily the wind. It's almost 7 am and I've been up since 5. I've read the paper, had my protein bar, a cup of coffee and read a few blogs in my blogroll. I guess I had better get on the stick and hit the shower for work. This weekend I got nothing accomplished as far as writing or drawing. I was supposed to work on a drawing of the painting I'm going to paint on Tuesday but just didn't do it. The only thing I got done this weekend was reading a few chapters in one of the books I'm into. I spent most of my time with my CC girl friends. It was a really nice time. I'm enjoying the girl stuff, the laughter, the wine and the companionship. (Having a hot flash here...wait while I turn the ceiling fan on......................Whew...that does it.)

I'm up this morning but that is about all I can muster today is that I'm up. I was going to go to Jazzercise but I'm still feeling the effects of the upper respiratory stuff. You would think that I would be better but it wants to try to get stuck in my chest in the AM. I'm also not sure if the MRSA is trying to yet again take hold in my armpit again. I have been avoiding shaving for over a month now because of my fear in that area but last week I broke down and couldn't stand it anymore. Well, now I've been fighting the little pimply things that plague me there that can turn. I have a knot but not sure if that is it or the bad shaver thing. It is messing with my mind. I've ramped up my multi-vitamin, Vitamin-C, probiotics intake to try to get really healthy. I have to go into the spring well. I'm seriously debating on whether to quit Jazzercise or not. I just don't enjoy it as well with the new center and people. I miss my friends. I may join where The Hubby goes but he HAS to keep his mouth and opinions to himself if I do that. Just don't know. I think on it.

Bro called last night to make sure I heard about Daddy's news that he needs a hip replacement. He wants to make sure one of us goes to the next doctor visit to hear all that is going on. Our sweet Daddy tends to hear only what he wants to hear and then he embellishes it to make it sound good. He gets stuff totally wrong all the time. I told Bro I was not sure I was ready to do the "hip" thing again because it brought up all the stuff about Momma and her hip ordeal. Just makes me a little edgy about it. We'll get through though as we three "kids" work well together when it comes to this kind of stuff.

It is time I hit the shower and head to the office now. Gotta get on with the day!

Where is the sun!

Where is the sun. The weather "guys" have promised a little sunshine today and I'm banking on it. I need sun. Wait, it's trying to peek through the over cast sky. I'm sitting on Harri's wonderful deck again tapping off Grumps wireless service (he's fine with that) and I think spring is trying to take hold. For months now the air has been silent. The birds have not been singing at all but this morning, yes I hear them, chirping and singing saying spring is around the corner. Today they are telling me, "Don't worry, the sun will make an appearance." I'm so ready for spring.

I woke up this morning about 7:30, yes I slept in, and The Hubby was still asleep. It is a little after 9:30 now and when I came over here to the deck about 9, he was still snoring! That is really unheard of for him. We partied a little last night on Sin and Bare's deck. Sin fixed crockpot fajitas. (I'll find out how she cooks them.) They were awesome. We had Tex-Mex fest with lots of wine and for me champagne or sparkling wine. We had laughter and lots of girl talk inside about Brazilian Wax while the guys were outside around the fire farting and telling dirty jokes. We are planning a Sock-Hop for next weekend at the wigwam so I loaded up my IPOD with 50's music and that was playing outside. After a bit the doors opened, the music spilled in and most of the ladies found themselves on the deck with the guys dancing the mashed potato and twist. It was an awesome time last night and I don't have a hangover or headache to speak of. When we hit the sheets last night I cranked open the window and didn't close it till about 4 am. The air was crisp and clear and the moon bright, making the room look like we turned the lights on. It was an fantastic Friday night at CC.

Today I hope to get a little drawing in, a little writing, a little reading, and a little walking. Tomorrow I will be back in town, hopefully for the Street Cats Furry Valentine auction to benefit the no-kill shelter. My girl Sheezekrafty will have some jewelry in it for the worthwhile organization that she has volunteered for a number of years and where her two babies Pimmy and Vera came from.

I almost forgot, Daddy called The Hubby's cell phone last night which there is very little service here. The Hubby told me to call him back and I did pretty quick as my daddy never calls unless something is up. I called him back with a mild pannic in my chest. He just wanted to tell me that he went to the doctor and the doc told him he needs his hip replaced. Well, you know that is part of what happened to Momma. We put her in the nursing home, she fell a few days into her stay, had surgery, and was gone the next month. The therapist on Thursday told me that HE didn't think I had dealt fully with the loss of my momma and friend Gail, like my girls have said. I poo-pooed that idea but yesterday I found out he may be right. At lunch with The Hubby at the wonderful Bangkok Thai buffet I told him about my session with the guy and what he said and then I explained that his little near death experience brought out all the feelings again after 2 years (almost 3 now). Then we started talking about my not wanting the responsibility of my daddy and his impending health stuff and then he tried to explain that may be the feeling of his oldest brother and why he didn't show up at the hospital when The Hubby was on the vent for three days. I've been VERY pissed off at the BIL over this and The Hubby defended him. I'm sorry. I got upset and told The Hubby that even though we knew he was going to be alright that it was his brother and it was scary but that I needed the support. It would have been for me too. I almost started to break down right there. I couln't believe how angry I was over it. Hmmm, maybe the therapist is right. I told him I would not have another appointment for a few months but I may have to rescend that option. Now I have to worry about Daddy and his operation and I have the power of attorney, I'm on all the documentation of his finances and pertinent papers and I'm not sure I want the responsibility. There is that word again. I think I want to run away from it sometimes. Got to think on this one.

Good Morning

Good morning. This is a wonderful morning so far. The sun is just beaming through my window and I'm so enjoying it. I thought I would get to sleep in this morning but of course that didn't happen and I guess I need to stop trying to expect it during the week. This morning The Hubby didn't turn the ceiling fan off. He didn't turn on lights and the light he did turn on in the bathroom area he turned it off as he went to fix his breakfast. What he did do was turn on the TV and watch The River Wild with Meryl Streep and Kevin Bacon at a decibel level that made jump out of bed when the dog started barking and a gun went off. Well, I guess my day started at 5:30 instead of 7 like I had planned. Oh well. I will get the house picked up for the girl to clean, pack for the lake and go to the office and do a little-itty-bit of work.

Last night I went to dinner with three of my favorite ladies and we had the most wonderful fun talking and laughing and I realized what great friends they are. I'm sending them thank you cards today telling them how much I treasure their friendship.

If I don't post anything till Sunday it is because I will be out of pocket so toodles everyone.

Writing. Friends and a Good Glass of Wine!

I have been absent from this blog since Sunday when I posted my 500th post. I've been trying to come up with just the right words to put here to commemorate the 501th post, a new step here. So here we go...

My life this week has been a bit uneventful except I've had the darned head cold or upper respiratory thing The Hubby graced upon me. I wasn't really sure if it was that or an allergic reaction to the sand and salt that has been flying all over the streets from the ice and snow. Last year I noticed that I had the same kind of flair up when the city salted and sanded, so there may be something there. We'll see if it happens next year, then I'll know. Back to this week. I've been to work, had my workouts, went to writing group, painting class and had the usual phone calls from the girls. Today I have another session with my therapist and it may be my last. I feel that I'm doing pretty good since I declared that 2009 is the year for "Jill"! I have been pro-active in achieving some of my dreams and they are rocking along. I am dealing with my desires for my life and making them happen. That is so good for me and I'm getting so much out of the art and writing.

The friend issue. I am still working on that but I have come to the conclusion that I have TONS of friends. Last month, while writing in my personal journal I decided to do an exercise and began writing down all of my friends. I filled several pages. This little exercise made me realize I shouldn't be so down in the mouth about this one friend and rejoice in the many, many friends that I do have. I needed to readjust my belief a little about what a friend is to me. I needed to embrace what I do have. Tonight, three of my oldest and dearest friends from church, which I don't frequent much anymore, are coming over to share a few glasses of wine, talk and dinner. Several years ago when our Methodist Women group went belly up we of started a Birthday Club. There were a few more ladies in the little club but most of them kind of fizzled out. The core of this group were us four, TF, TP, PF and myself. I love these women, my friends and truly look forward to being with them. I have a lot in common with all of them. All of our children grew up together in the church, Sunday school and youth group. We were active together in many committees and functions at the church but even though I am not an active member anymore, they still are an integral part of my life. We are friends outside of the confines of the church and I love it. I love these women immensely and look forward each time to our dinner thing. We can spend hours before we go out just talking and I so need that. So my friend problems are working out in a different way and I love it. Here's to my friends!

Now that is said I am off to begin writing on a new story. I've been developing characters for a week now but I need to make the story take shape. Later all.