Moving On

I am moving on. I won't lie, Monday was tough for me.  Sitting in a room at a huge conference table all alone for about 15 minutes waiting for the closing lady to come in was tough.  Don't get me wrong I was totally on board with our decision, but that doesn't make it any easier.  You see, I am the oldest of we three, and so I am the "SIGNER" of everything.  I signed my mother into a nursing home originally.  I signed for her surgery when Daddy couldn't emotionally, and we know that did not go well.  I signed for her burial, her casket, etc...  I've signed for various medical things for Daddy as has my brother.  I signed for his burial, his casket, etc...  Now I have signed away his home.  It is just part of being a grown-up and taking charge of stuff.  It is a hazard of being the oldest, of being the one in charge.  It is a hazard of just taking care of what must be done.  My brother said he had no regrets and I totally agree, absolutely no regrets.  I do have sadness for the situation but it's not a bad sadness, it is the process.  What was really nice was that the people who bought the house/property is friends with my brother and they sent him a message thanking us for the sale.  They saw on Facebook about our memories, our photos, etcetera  and acknowledge the sadness and wonderful memories we were having.  They sent a photo of the house they plan on building there and have offered to let us come see it when it is done and listen to some of the memories.  I thought that such a wonderful gesture and hope they follow through.  Another family will be making new kinds of memories there and that cannot be bad.  

"Lemons, Onions and Celery - Thanksgiving Day Prep"

9x12 oil on linen

(reference photo)

I've spent a couple of days back in the studio painting finally.  I needed to do a little "art therapy" for my well being.  The reference photo for this painting I took a couple of years ago in preparation for Thanksgiving.  I have always loved it and wanted to paint but just couldn't be inspired nor could I figure out if I could pull it off.  I'm very pleased with it and can't wait to delve into another painting.  I need to get back to my self portraits, but first, I have GOT to reorganize the studio.  I had a light fixture fall in the storage room and there is sheetrock dust everywhere I have to clean up.  I have just walked by and ignored it to the point it is making me a bit crazy.  First up today though is baking day.  I'm doing my fruitcake!  I have to, I just HAVE TO for Christmas memories!  There is so much I really need to do here at home, the office and the studio that I have neglected, and a bit more Daddy financial stuff.  Just a bit overwhelmed with financial/business stuff right now that I DO NOT WANT TO DEAL WITH!  Oh well, one day at a time, one project at a time.  Moving on.

Eli's Story

I am just going to ramble here and I DON'T care who reads it.  

I think I've posted that my niece has had her troubles but she seems to finally found her way out of the dark hole she has been in.  She is in California, has a job, a place to live and still on the countdown for days sober of 126.  When she left town she left a cat, Eli, at her parents house that already had a cat and three dogs.  Sweet Eli was left in a house where he was not wanted, not loved and lived on a tightrope threat of being dumped any day.  As you also may have read if you are a follower my sister and her family are really not very good animal people, not dedicated to them, i.e. previous dumping of Maggie the Cat.  

I got wind of Eli's predicament at a lunch with Sis.  I asked if she had called Street Cats and her response was that they cost money.  Okay, money versus the LIFE OF A DEFENSELESS ANIMAL!  Here we go again.  I immediately called B as she is on the  board of Street Cats and told her I would pay the intake fee (she actually did) and wanted to get Eli out of the desperate situation he was in.  B made it happen!  She also went and picked him up and saw the deplorable conditions he was living in.  He once was a sweet cuddly kitten but was terrified and scared half to death when they finally got him to foster care.  Eli was so traumatized he spent 2 months in foster care when he finally was put into the main Street Cats population ready for adoption.  We were really afraid he was going to spend the entire rest of his life in foster care or the Street Cats facility because of his debilitating fear.  Eli was LUCKY!  After only 2 weeks in the system he has found a forever home with a guy of all things as that is one of his fears...didn't used to be...hmmmmmmm.  This guy came in and fell in love with Eli.

The other part of the story is that Eli was not Sis's cat, it was her daughter's and she was in rehab getting well.  All of this happened over two months ago and Sis FINALLY told her daughter on Tuesday about him being gone.  TUESDAY!  B called the niece on Wednesday to talk to her and was forced with the responsibility of filling her in on all of the horrid story.  Of course she is broken-hearted but understands that Eli is in a much better place.  

I have to tell you my sister is just not a reliable pet owner and her history backs this up.  When she was young and first divorced, living back with my parents she brought a cat home.  That cat lived in the dark windowless garage for a very long time.  I don't even know what happened to him.  Then she moved out on her own and adopted two beautiful cats named Miss Emmy and Sapphire.  Miss Emmy was a case for sure but Sapphire was a jewel (no pun intended).  She was so very sweet.  She had them for several years then got married and pregnant with my niece.  My niece was born at 4 something pounds and was in the NICU for a few weeks but when she was to come home Sis called the vet to come and get the cats, her pets, her friends for several years and have them euthanized.  I could not believe it.  Luckily Sapphire was adopted by the vets son who fell in love with her.  I guess Miss Emmy was put down.  So sad.  Then the story of sweet Maggie the Cat who had been adopted from Street Cats.  She had issues but Sis DID NOT take her to the vet to address the health issues and her total fear of everything and everyone, instead the decided to DUMP her on the hottest day of the year in a neighborhood that was just being built.  Smart move IDIOTS!  That cat was scared of her own shadow, no one would be able to adopt her.  

I haven't even addressed the dogs, which she has a bit more affinity too.  A story for another day.

Stubborn, Stubborn, Stubborn

Those three words are how I describe my Daddy.  Stubborn!!!  He went home yesterday from the hospital against what we knew he needed.  It was all my brother could do to get the get the guy even in the hospital in the first place.  The plan was 3-4 days in the hospital with his antibiotic infusion, then to skilled nursing for 60-90 days.  Once the plan was made the battle began and continued until he came home yesterday.  My daddy can be a very, VERY angry man.  You will often see a waving finger pointing at you and more often his fist, which he has used.  That fist was waved at the lady doctor and we had to apologize.  And the look, oh the look will buckle my knees, it's the look of an angry parent.  I am nearly 59 years old and that look still makes me quake in my boots.  On Sunday Bro and I both got phone calls from the hospital social worker telling us that he was going to go home with the pic line and needed to have the infusion done every 12 hours and that it would take an hour or so each.  Asked if we could do it, that he said "Carla can swing by to do it!"  No Carla can not.  He had the nerve to tell Bro that we kids needed to "Step Up."  What in the world does he think we have been doing.  Daddy will be 80 in August and he pretty much has his mind, angry and all, and mostly his health.  He still goes and goes when he wants to.  He is now home with home health care coming every 24 hours because the doctor knuckled and changed the protocol of meds to allow him to go home.  The HHC will only be there for two weeks because of insurance but they will teach him how to change the bag of meds.  Okay, really.  I told Bro that the next time this happens Daddy probably won't tell us, I can guarantee it.  I told Daddy at the hospital yesterday that I was leaving on Sunday for Scottsdale Artist School and would be gone for a week.  His response was, "well, we'll see!" Like I'm NOT going.  He is home with two good siblings to fill in and I have planned this for 6 months.  I am going!!!!!!!  It's funny, Daddy tells all three of us kids different things.  He plays us on each other too.  Not cool Daddy.  Taking a page from his mother's playbook and that was nasty.  He told Sis that he didn't have long to live.  He tells Bro that he can live on his own, that Carla can take of it all.  When he sees me he starts saying he can live with me.  NO!  Not happening Daddy.  I grew up with that anger and not going to live with it again.  Daddy has been hanging around with his childhood best friend again and although I love the guy, Jay has a very nasty mouth on him, a bigoted nasty mouth.  Well, Daddy has started emulating that and it is not pretty.  I think even the anger is being enhanced by it.  

Oh gosh, I am rambling but it is good to vent here and let it go!  Thanks for reading.  

I Dropped Daddy In The Dirt

Tuesday was not a very good day.  Bro asked me to help him with Daddy and the doctor visit.  His back has been an issue and getting Daddy and a wheelchair down two steps has been worrisome for him.  Sure I can help.  First, the wheelchair is a bit old.  In fact, looking through old pictures I found this...it is of me when I broke my leg at age 11, forty-four years ago, I'll be darned, I think it is the same wheelchair that Daddy is using.  It was my great grandmother's.  Could be another one but it is still OLD!

I arrived and we started the decent down the two steps.  The trick is to practically lay the wheelchair, with Daddy in it, down backwards and then easily let it roll down the steps.  Well, those big old wheels just went WHOOSH and Daddy was on his back in the wheelchair.  DRAT!  The tread came off the wheelchair and we quickly got Daddy upright.  Shook me up for sure but Daddy was fine.  Since he was pretty much laying down he didn't fall far but I DROPPED MY DADDY!  I now have a call into the doctor to see about getting a new wheelchair for Daddy through his Medicare.  Brother has been doing this all by himself for a few weeks now and I realize it takes two very strong people.  I also realize, we need a ramp.  So the call, or text message, as that is the only communication with Sis right now, has gone out to possibly build a ramp.  The Bro-In-Law, her hubby, is a carpenter and should be able to help, should being the word to use but not necessarily going to happen.  Okay, I may rant a bit here but Sis has been to see Daddy once in the 4 weeks he has been home and talked to him on the phone once.  She lives not far from him while I live in another town.  He has laundry to do, trash to take out, groceries to buy and just company for him.  I also manage his finances right now too.  Bro has been great with getting Daddy to the doctors.  It takes "ALL" of us but right now we are down a third and not sure why. 

Rest and Stress

Good morning my dear friends.  Monday morning and I'm moving slow.  I feel like the head is fighting heat and allergies today.  I have to really keep a check on that or a sinus infection will be soon to follow.  I didn't even get up this morning to do cardio as the head felt like lead.  B and I are going to try a free yoga class today to see if I like it.  I am hoping it will help with my stretching and stress levels.  This weekend I left it all behind spending a lot of time in the hammock yet again.  I couldn't have asked for better weather with waking up yesterday to rain.  I loved it but know today the steam factor will be unbearable and the headache!  I finished a book and nearly finished another book, now that is accomplishment. 

Daddy is doing well at home and Bro has been great getting him to doctor appointments every two weeks.  Yesterday I went over and took out the trash, pulled weeds from his flowerbed, went to the grocery store for milk, and did his laundry.  While waiting for the laundry to run we had some nice visits and checked out stuff on Facebook.  He's really doing quite well, but now he's talking about a ramp to go outside.  That scares me.  I really don't want him outside as he probably couldn't get back inside and I would be afraid that he would roll down too fast and fall.  SCARY!  One of the conditions of him coming home was he was NOT TO GO OUTSIDE!  I know he would love it but my comfort zone would be tested.  He's only got another month to go until surgery so he can just stay put.  You would think this hip doctor, knowing he is ready and has been through hell and back with this infection would knock someone off the list and take Daddy right on in.  I hate it that we are having to wait so long, 2 months home, but 3 months in hospital(s)/nursing home.  I mean really, especially since this doctor didn't think his wound was anything to begin with then we ended up with a raging infection right after surgery, even releasing him to drive to Arizona.  Have to stop before I start ranting, oh wait, already there.  Blood pressure, down girl!  Ommmm, ommmm, ommmm, I'm in my hammock, ommmm, ommmm, ommmm. 

Ettiquette 101

I have a question for you.  Do you write thank you notes?  Do you send out graduation invites, wedding announcements, birth announcements, birthday cards, etc?  Do you expect them?  I've written about writing letters before as I love to write and continue to write to friends and my pen pal for nearly 40 years.  Somewhere in my upbringing I learned from my grandmother the importance and proper way of these things.  Granny taught me how to set a proper table and how to iron your pillow cases and sheets.  I was taught manners; no elbows on the table, napkin in your lap, you know all the right things.  Somehow a close member of my family did not embrace those lessons.  This family member has NEVER sent a thank you note or birthday card out in their life and now I find out that they are not going to send out graduation notices for the graduating senior in their family.  Let me tell you something, I send birthday cards to their children every year, with cash included, and one year when I had not gotten around to it I received a phone call wondering where it was, with the money!  What in the world happened here.  We were raised together.  I don't understand, and you know I am very, very tempted NOT to send a congratulatory card and "money" to the senior but that would not be fair to the child.  I questioned why and the family member just said they didn't want to but and the announcements were too expensive.  I think it is sheer laziness and not showing the proper stuff to the child.  For goodness sake you can make your own and at least send them to immediate family.  Am I missing this or are all of these lessons not important anymore!

Have you ever lost anything of value?

The prompt on NaBloPoMo yesterday was a very interesting idea and really got my mind to workin'.  (My girls may need to not read this post.)

Have you ever lost anything of value? Do you still think about it? Imagine how you'd feel if you'd given it away instead.

Wow, that question made me immediately think about my virginity.  Don't know why it did but that is where this mind goes.  When I was young, high school, 17 or 18 I had plenty of chances of giving what I thought a most precious gift away.  Yeah, yeah, I'm old fashioned but that is me.

Across the street from my house and down a block was the local Humpty Dumpty grocery store.  We walked to the store all the time and when I was 17 or so there was one of the sack boys working that I had a huge crush on.  Actually, there were several but this flavor of the week had my attention.  He was ahead of me in school by a couple of years and I thought out of my league, but crushes don't understand that.  I found every opportunity  I could to walk to the store.  I would look in the pantry and announce to Momma that she needed corn or green beans or whatever, anything to venture through the checkout line.  Finally, after a week or two of that I got a phone call from said crush to join him at a party!  OH MY GOSH!  I was over the moon.  He came by, picked me up and we traveled to Tulsa where we ended up parked on a street where construction for a new housing addition was taking place, no inhabitants.  I asked him where the party was and he reached into the backseat to pull a beer out of an ice chest, "Right here," he says.  Uh oh!  I didn't partake because at the time my parents were HUGE beer drinkers and I wasn't, had never even had a drink.  Okay, I was a bit of a prude, naive, innocent, but knew what I wasn't going to do.  We smooched a bit but it didn't go too far.  Party, Harrumph!  At one point he looked in the rear view mirror to fix his hair and actually said, "Not bad looking, huh!"  That should have put my radar up but I was young. 

I was so eat up with this guy and somehow one afternoon I ended up at his house with no one home.  He put on Chicago VII album, in particular the song, Wishing You Were Here, can hardly hear that song without thinking of him.  Anyway, back to the making out.  It was heavy, very, very heavy, no clothes kind but the old fashioned kind of gal I was in my head knew that this was not right.  I halted it!  He was not happy and I can't blame him, I was a tease I guess but reality was flooding my brain.  I left him very angry.  Later I talked to him on the phone and he told me, "You'll never get a guy unless you give it up.  No guy will want someone who doesn't know how...blah, blah, blah!"  I knew right then, through all the tears, that I was right.  He was a jerk and I was so glad I didn't give it up to him because I saved it for the most perfect guy in the world for me, The Hubby.   

I can't imagine if I had gone all the way with the guy.  Hell, he didn't even have protection and I surely didn't.  What if I had gotten pregnant.  I was reminded all the time of my friend Jean Ann who was dealing with that and I surely didn't want to follow in her footsteps or some of my close relatives.  My life might have taken a very different turn if I had followed the young heat.  What about you?  Have you ever lost anything of value? Do you still think about it? Imagine how you'd feel if you'd given it away instead.  It doesn't have to be anything this intense but does make you think, doesn't it. 

Tis the Season

Tis the season to pay property and real estate taxes.  Yikes!  This is the time of year that I forget we have decided to own lots of property.  It's kind of scary when the County Treasurer has to mail a "packet" with all the invoices.  So this morning I'm sorting and organizing and planning to pay a BUTT LOAD of money but that's okay.  I'm good. 

Just to update everyone that today is my 992 post.  I have gone back and forth about not posting everyday, spreading them out till Christmas or the end of the year but with only 8 left, well, there you go.  So November 30th should be my 1,000 post and I'm trying to get something special going but who knows it may be just an ordinary day of babble. 

Last night The Hubby, B&B and I went to see Wicked.  It was good but you know I didn't really think it was GREAT like all the hype that has gone with it.  It was long and some of the songs were really not necessary and not well written, in my opinion.  Honestly, we've been to Les Miserables twice and would see it again in a heartbeat.  It was the most awesome thing ever.  Absolutely powerful and the music brings you to tears. 

My Civic Duty

It is Tuesday and I have finished doing my civic duty. I served on jury duty for a total of 2 days and I didn't even get picked, well, sort of. My name was pulled out of the infamous metal box at about 4 yesterday afternoon but it was for a civil case and they were only going to need I think a total of seven or so. We went into the courtroom where the names were again thrown into another metal box and drawn out. Well, wouldn't you know it there were only two names not called, the other guy and myself. They proceeded to talk to the prospective jurors and one guy said he could not be objective on the case so he was booted back down to the jury pool. They drew one of the last two names and again I was left sitting. I ended up back in the jury pool. Today I again made my way downtown to the parking garage and hoofed it to the back entrance to spend the day in a chair waiting. They only called two jury groups all day long, I was not one of them. Finally, about 3:30 today we were released for good. YIPPEE!

I so wanted to get on a jury, to be a part of the process. Maybe I'll be called again. The two days was not time wasted for me though. I got to the middle of a book, finished a baby afghan and today got half-way through another one. (Check next post about a giveaway.) I also saw a few people I knew and got to visit with them. The first day though when I walked into the room I saw a sharply dressed black man sitting on a couch. I walked over to sit in the chair by him because I recognized him immediately. I asked him if he was the author and he said indeed he was, Mr. Clifton Taulbert. I have two of his books, "Once Upon A Time When We Were Colored" and "The Last Train North." They have been sitting on my very top shelf of books I want to keep forever. I've read them but it has been years. The first one has even been made into a movie. I was thrilled to meet him and for two days off and on we chatted. This morning before I left the house I went into my room and with something to knock the books off the high shelf and I took them with me for him to autograph, which he did. It was exciting to see his face when he opened Once Upon a Time and have him see it was a first edition. He commented that he didn't even have a first edition. I was a very happy girl right then. This afternoon he spent a few hours working on his laptop writing. I got to watch a published author actually write. When he was through he then shared with ME what he was doing. He was editing some pages of the next book he is writing and I was absolutely honored that he shared a bit with me. He even got a little teary recounting the story to me. OH MAN I WAS ON CLOUD NINE!!!!! Cool! Awesome! EGADS!!! The passion that he had telling me his story was so wonderful. These past two days were just perfect for me and not a waste at all.

On another note. For those who have not served jury duty in Tulsa County, don't listen to the ones who call the room a black dirty hole. It is not a nasty place at all. Granted there are parts of the room where the lighting could be, well, lightened but all in all the room was fine. And people, when you serve, remember you will be sitting for hours and days at a time. Don't get all bent out of shape because you are bored. You were warned! Bring something to do: read a book, crochet, crossword, sudoku, laptops, music, upload a movie on your IPOD. Don't just sit there and stare into space. Good Grief!

A Hippy Day

I hit the ground running today and never even made it to the office. Thank goodness we have an answering service. Since the entry bathroom remodel is going so fast I had to find a wallpaper. I found one online and went to the store to see if they had it in stock. My track record for stuff like that is nil but I took the chance. I had to wait till 10 when they opened but that was okay as I spent the time getting ready, reading blogs, talking to my cleaning lady and the carpenter. It was 9:45 by the time I left the house. I called Daddy on the way and told him that I would meet him at the doctor/surgeons office about his hip at 1:30. He told me he had to be there at 1:10 to fill out paperwork. Okay, that was no problem. I rushed to the wallpaper place to find out that the one and only paper I liked was discontinued and they only had three rolls, I needed five. He took my number on a tiny piece of paper and promised to call after the distributor called him back if there were more to be found. Yeah right. I was again on the hunt for more places to look for wallpaper as he was not offering to help me at all. A quick stop at Harri's for the bathroom and a little chat and I was again moving. Bad lunch at Taco Bueno (bad girl) and another round of wallpaper books. I left the girl my number and a piece of the one I liked that I had printed off from the website and told her I would be back after the doctor's appointment.

Finding the building where Daddy's appointment was took me a bit. I finally found the right one at 1:30 and walked in to find him sitting, waiting anxiously for me. He filled out part of the paper work and was glad to have me finish it. Sitting in the waiting room with my Daddy and waiting and waiting was agonizing for me. The room was packed with all ages of people, well at least over forty at least. There were canes and wheelchairs in abundance. Some even lined up against the wall with people. One of the wheelchair ladies either got really hot sitting there or she had a stomach bug because a nurse came running out from behind the window with a small trash basket in her hand. She was quick to catch the vomit. I couldn't look. Coughing, hacking and vomit was not what I needed right now with my compromised immune system. There were so many people in the office that there was not a place to sit. I was getting a little claustrophobic with fear of illness. People were going through the door to find themselves coming back out to wait more. Finally at 2:00 his name was called and he with cane slowly made his way to the next waiting area. Actually, that was short. The nurse came in immediately and began asking him questions, most of which he could not hear, one of the reasons I was to be there. Daddy had his x-ray's that his primary care doctor took but they weren't good enough, naturally, so new x-ray's. They handed him a pair of blue paper shorts that he needed to put on. I got the wonderful task of helping him out of his jeans and into the shorts. (Where was my sister or brother.) The doctor was pretty nice and told him that he definitely had bone on bone, arthritis. He could do surgery now or he could wait. It would not get better but probably worse. Daddy went in with the idea that he was doing surgery and if they told him tomorrow he would do it. We were given a card to call tomorrow to set up the appointment for the big day, probably April. Tomorrow morning I will show up at his house where I can tap into him for information and his health insurance cards to set up the appointment. He doesn't hear well on the phone and relies on we kids to do this part. As we were standing in the elevator going down to the lobby I teared up. I was just having a meltdown right there in the elevator. We walked outside and I told him again that I would be at his house in the AM to set up the details and he was glad. I walked to my car in the opposite part of the parking lot and the tears were welling up. I just can't do this. I called my brother and told him what went down and cried. I called my sister and then totally lost it. I just can't do this. I know in my head that Daddy is really in very good health and will be okay but Granny fell, broke her hip, and had surgery. She was never the same. Momma fell, broke her hip, had surgery and died a month later. I know logically that he will be fine but my heart is just terrified. I just can't go through this stuff so soon again without being healed inside and out. I think I'll make an appointment with the therapist tomorrow. This is going to set me up for more depression.

My poor trees

Several months ago we received a letter from AEP/PSO telling us that their "tree trimmers" would be in our neighborhood to trim up the trees, some more, from the ice storm. This morning after I got back from the personal trainer they were on my street. I'm afraid of what I might find when I get home tonight. My poor oak tree has been hit so very hard from the ice storm that I don't know if it can take anymore and I'm going to have no shade in my west facing backyard.
At the same time the tree guys were there, here comes the trash truck. It was a busy street at 9 in the morning.

Last night I insisted that we start using the alarm system at night. The neighbor on the street behind us had their pickup stolen out of their driveway on Wednesday night and just a few miles away was the couple who were tied up and robbed in their house. Just a little scary.