Watermelon Girl

Had to give some screen time to the other love of my life, Watermelon Girl.

Stopped by their house today at lunch and she was again chomping down on watermelon.  Such a cutie.

I kind of think she looks a bit like me...what do you think.

Sadly I think she has my eyebrows.

 

Fishing Girl

OH MY GOODNESS...this weekend was absolutely the most fun for this little one.  

She and I took off on Thursday to hang at the cabin because her mother was at a quilt retreat and her daddy was taking care of some stuff at his dad's house.  So I got the pleasure of hanging with her.  

We spent Thursday with me reading and her working on a paint by number and listening to the birds with some chat going on.  My friend Lesa came to dinner and I fixed her my tilapia dish and Snicklefritz had fish sticks, mac and cheese, green beans and ice cream.  She was a happy girl.  We then took a golf cart ride with her as my driver.  She is quite a good driver.  We ended up just sitting in the meadow enjoying the wonderful evening, listening to more birds and enjoying the beautiful view of green and green and green and blue skies.  We chatted about life and death and more about birds, insects and flowers.  She's quite a smart and deep little girl.  

The next day was a lot of the same during the day of paint by number and reading and then The Hubby showed up and we all went to friends for dinner.  The next morning her granddad and friend John went to get bait and planned on swinging back by to get her and take her fishing.  She was so excited and was up and ready early.  This girl stayed down at the dam and creek all day long with these two and caught some giant fish.  She had a smile from ear to ear all day long.  At one point The Hubby had stepped up the embankment to grab his phone/camera forgetting his line had bait and was in the water.  They tried to catch it but the thing had a huge catfish hooked and the whole rod and reel went under.  He thought oh well and just busied with helping Snicklefritz and John with bait when all of a sudden she was reeling in another fish but what she had was his line with the rod and reel AND a fish on his line.  She successfully found his rod and reel and they continued on fishing.  

When they were pretty exhausted they came in to clean their catch and she was right in the middle of it all, patting the fish and handing each one to them to clean.  At one point he told her if she kept patting them they would become a pet.  She did not have a problem with them cleaning them at all and watched it all.  

This girl had the absolute best time of her life this weekend and frankly we did too.  Love her to pieces.

 

Happy 4th of July

First of all HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!

It was an absolute grand time at our cabin this past weekend with ALL of our family.  The girls, their girls and hubby's and puppies.  We had wonderful food, lots of laughs, hugs and of course fireworks (not my fav.)

I made this pasta salad and it was so very yummy.  It was so simple. Pasta cooked in salted water and then drop in broccoli to blanch pretty quick.  Frozen peas, chopped red onion, green onions and marinated artichoke hearts.  I love marinated artichoke hearts and since our group are vegan and vegetarian I had to do this without mayo or cheese.  So the dressing was the water/oil from the marinated artichoke arts and about 2 teaspoons of lemon olive oil.  That is it and it was fantastic, especially the longer it sat in the fridge.  

I also had another screened porch art show and sale since there would be so many more people in the camp.  Sadly the "regulars" didn't come which really disappointed me BUT there were so many of the new members that showed up and we got to meet.  That was pretty awesome and I DID sell a couple of small paintings!

Then there were these darling girls that made the whole weekend so much fun.  I cannot tell you how much I love these sweeties.

Plus we had some 4-legged company that I was stressed over but it turned out really wonderful.  They are going to be a great addition to the collective.

Granddog Vinny

New granddog Vance.  They think he has Great Dane in his lineage.  Wow!

We also got a bit of hair braiding done.

All in all it was one of the best 4th's we've ever had at the cabin.  I am truly blessed.

Go Ask Alice

Were you ever influenced by a book as a teenager?  The one book that had a huge impact on me was Go Ask Alice.  The author at that time was listed as anonymous but researching, it has now been attributed to Beatrice Sparks, a therapist of that time period.  The time period of the book is early 1970's, the era of my youth and angst as a teenager.  I still had my copy that was purchased through the Scholastic Book club paper you were given at school.  I saw my copy on the shelf and decided I wanted to revisit the book I felt affected me as a young teenage girl.  This morning I was awake at 3 am and started in on the read. (Yes could not sleep!)  I've read to about page 32 and it has brought back a lot of 14 year old feelings.  The book is written in diary entries and I believe influenced me to begin journaling.  Of course back then I wasn't as prolific as I am now but it definitely hit home.  The girl, Alice is filled with feelings of self doubt, insecurities, feeling alone, a square peg in a world of round holes.  Feelings I felt myself at that age.  She also had an injury in her 5th grade year, getting hit by a car and in a cast.  Wow, I could really identify with that with breaking my leg in the 6th grade and in a cast.  Lots of parallels in the book, EXCEPT I did not take the drug journey like she did.  The book terrified me against drugs and I was definitely in that era for the height of drug use. I stayed on the path of a goody-two-shoes (as my sister called me) of wanting to be a hippy but not engaging in the practices of being a hippy.  The character of Alice also is overly concerned with her weight and diets constantly or flat doesn't eat.  WOW, that was my youth too.  My cousin and I hung out a lot in that time period and she was an influence on me with the weight stuff.  She is two years older than me and we were of the same build and height.  She had a pool and I practically lived at her house in Tulsa.  We would diet together, trying to see who had the flattest stomach each morning and constantly weighing ourselves so we could fit into our bikini's and work on our tans.  Luckily I never got into the purge thing, but the not eating, yes that was me.  I'm looking forward to finishing the book to see how much more of me I can see, the young me, in the pages.

In the stack of the paperbacks on the shelf I also had Lord of the Flies, Johnny Got His Gun, and Of Mice and Men.  I plan on re-reading theses classics again.  May have to find a copy of The Outsiders again.  I had a copy I borrowed from a girl in high school and felt so guilty that I STILL had it that I mailed it back to her a few years ago.  I know, Goody-Two-Shoes, I come by that moniker quite naturally.  Can't help it.  

Were there books, poems or even sayings that influenced you as a child?

Moving Forward

Lots on my mind lately, weight loss, pain, family, possible surgery, retirement...

Yesterday was my baby's birthday, #36!  Somehow I do NOT feel that old but guess what, I AM!  I am 65 years old now and on MEDICARE!  Who let that time machine continue on and make me old.  In my heart I am still in my 30's at least but my body is certainly betraying me.  Last night I hurt, absolutely hurt.  My leg, not necessarily my hip but my leg hurt.  I think it has to do with the sciatic nerve and because my leg is shorter than the other one the muscles don't work as well and they are atrophying.  I honestly was in tears last night because it hurt all the way down my leg through my knee and just above the ankle, where I broke it at age 11.  Wondering if that nerve is caught there or something.  I finally got up and took a couple of Aleve and was able to dose back off until the alarm went off at 5.  Miserable, absolutely miserable last night and today is a bit rough because it even hurts to walk a bit and I have a lot to do because I'm having company tonight.  I have got to clean my kitchen and make some pie.  ARGHHHHHhh! 

This little recipe I developed after reading a few other recipes.  

(Oh, and the scale has been up because of TOO MUCH birthday celebrations but as of today it is back down to a loss of 16.8 pounds!!!)

Chicken Curry Salad (single serving)

Boneless/skinless Chicken breast

1/2 tsp (or more) Curry powder

1 tsp olive oil

Salt & pepper

Celery stalk, chopped

20 seedless grapes, halved

1 Tbls toasted pecan pieces or halves

1 Tbls mayonnaise

Preheat oven 350°. Rub oil over chicken and season with salt, pepper, and curry powder to taste. Roast 25-30 minutes till meat thermometer registers 165° internal temperature. When done let it set to cool a bit and chop celery and halve grapes. Toast pecans in 350° oven about 3-5 minutes. When chicken cools chop and add to bowl with the rest of the ingredients. Adjust seasonings to taste. Enjoy.

On to other things on my mind and it does relate to my age again.  I've been entering all these art competitions and shows trying to get in and all I'm doing is wasting my time and losing a lot of money because all I am getting in return are RED "X'S".  Turned down over and over again and it starts taking a hold on my mental health.  Then I begin to think I am going to quit this merry-go-round of entering and just give it up.  I watch a lot of artists do it, they paint, get in the shows, ship the paintings off and sometimes attend the shows but honestly, because of how my physical body is working I am not inclined to participate in that stuff anymore.  I really don't want to give up that desire but I am not seeing light at the end of this dark art tunnel.  I have tried and tried to no avail.  Don't you want to be accepted with your peers?  I certainly do, my art peers, but the constant denials are slapping me in the face and I'm too tired and in too much pain to deal with it right now.  Have I waited to late in life?  I'm afraid I have and that is such a sad thought for me.  I look at my art studio, which is a mess right now and don't see a point in continuing it all.  I'm just creating a lot of paintings that are gathering dust because I can't seem to sell much either and since the pandemic shows have stopped, local stuff.  If there are some I am just too sore and exhausted to try to schlep my stuff to the show.  It takes a lot of energy that I just don't have anymore.  I don't trust myself to be able to walk, let alone carry paintings to a show.  It's all I can do to get groceries inside the house.  

Plus we are still working, not me so much, but I am going into the office when needed and the job I do is needed.  I do invoicing, payroll, deposit checks, accounting...I am needed there and we are so close to being able to end it.  I don't have time to have hip surgery yet.  I need my hip done, my knee and I think my shoulder and none of it am I looking forward too, but it all may become a necessity, especially after last nights painfest!  The Hubby has set the end of the year for the closing our business doors, one way or another.  We find a buyer or we just close it down.  Originally it was June 1 of THIS YEAR, but obviously that didn't happen.  

36 Years Ago Today

36 years ago today I was in the beginning stages of labor that morning.  It was a Friday morning, and it was also payroll day at the office.  I was, according to the doctor in those early days of predicting birth dates, three weeks late, like my first child six years earlier.  I also had in tow a 6 year old.  So I loaded up The Kid and off we went to the office to work in between contractions.  They were hard contractions and I was able to do my work then head back home and wait.  

Several hours later I called my doctor who told me to go ahead and come in to the hospital.  The Hubby came home and we loaded up taking the 6 year old with us to be with my parents.  My first child the labor was only 6 hours after waiting at home most of the day with minor labor pains when my water broke and then it was INTENSE!  With this pregnancy the labor was much like the first, manageable pains at home but the water still intact.  We got to the hospital and waited and waited but the labor stalled.  It was later in the evening and everyone, including me was tired so my parents took The Kid home and waited for news.  The doctor said I should rest and gave me a sleeping something to rest and told us that the next morning if nothing had happened in the night he would induce.  That scared me but I was too tired and sleepy (sleeping pill) to worry.  The Hubby walked my parents out to their car and I rolled over to nod off when suddenly my water broke.  When my water breaks well, all hell breaks loose.  The labor pains started up fast and hard very quick and we were on.  I can't remember if they went to find The Hubby but when he returned upstairs we pushed a few times and were whisked away to the delivery room.  The doctor who delivered was not the one I had seen in the practice at all but he was the one on call.  I was on the table trying to push but the stupid sleeping pill was too much.  I'm susceptible to meds a bit too much and could not wake up.  They even slapped my face a bit to try to get me to cooperate with the pushing.  Finally, she was born but there was no crying, NOTHING!  We heard the doctor say, "double cord" which meant the cord was wrapped around her neck twice and she was blue, not breathing at all.  For one split second we were elated with our baby girl the next we were terrified because there was not a sound, no breathing.  But the doctor was quick and she was crying in just seconds, loudly.  It was absolute relief to hear that cry.  

The next thing I can remember was being in a recovery room with a nurse nearly on top of my stomach pushing and kneading to get my uterus to contract down and stop bleeding.  The sleeping pill was keeping me pretty much out of it but after a bit I woke up in the darkened recovery room and it was so very quiet, but as my eyes adjusted to the dim light I saw The Hubby sitting in a chair looking down at the bundle in his arms touching her sweet head and kissing her tenderly.  All was good and we had another beautiful little girl.  

My mother came and stayed with us like she had for the first one and it was of great help because I developed a horrible bladder infection that took me down.  I also had a horrible headache and ended up sleeping on the floor, flat to help.  But all in all my down time was short because by that next Friday I was back at the office doing another payroll. My mother stayed at the house while I went in I think.  It's been a few years.  

We have two beautiful daughters and they each have beautiful daughters.  We are very blessed with our girls, all of our girls.  

Happy Birthday my dear I love you forever.

Weekend Fun and Inspiration

We finally ran off to the cabin for some down time, much needed down time.  I love taking photos while we are driving there but I must contend with a photo through the windshield as he doesn't slow down much for me to capture anything.   

I think I do a pretty good job though, enough that they inspire me to paint.  

I think this photo is my favorite from the drive and yesterday I flew off to the studio to capture it.  I haven't been in the studio for nearly two weeks and it was so time I played in paint.  I really didn't get much done because Linda came in and I haven't talked or seen her for nearly a month.  This studio thing is kind of okay because I have time alone there and she does, BUT, I do miss us chatting. 

Home for lunch I pulled up in our driveway and just had to capture the beauty of our house and the flag for Flag Day!

It is started and trust me it is tiny but if I am to sell some more on the 4th of July weekend at the cabin, well tiny sells quickly.  This one is only a 5x7 and I plan on doing it bigger at some point.  Guess you call this a study as a lot of artists do. 

Diet update...well, the weekend I kind of ATE stuff I shouldn't but that's okay once in awhile.  The scale is up 2...RATS!  It's funny how hard it is to get off but how easy it piles back on and so quickly.  DAMN FAT!

Sunday Fun with the Grands

 Yesterday I was tasked with watching the youngest, Min, while her Momma sang at a thing at the BOK with the Tulsa Symphony and a chorus of music and Winton Marsalis.  It was a great opportunity and ALL of the family went.  I didn't because, 1) I can't walk the distance to the BOK center or the steps up and down or stand for a long time, 2) they also needed to have someone watch the youngest grand, Min, and I am so good with that.  

It's so funny when she walks in the door she immediately starts calling for Snicklefritz.  Maybe she thinks she lives here.  They love to play with each other.  I knew that later they would get their time together.  We had so much fun and I was able to get her down for a nap really easy.  She is so much fun, loving and entertaining.

After the concert the oldest, Snicklefritz came to spend the night.  Both girls together is the best medicine even if you aren't sick.  I love my baby girls.  

We are all truly blessed, especially these two that even though Covid forced them to move here, it was the best thing that could have ever happen for them.  They get to grow up knowing and loving each other. 

Cousins, they absolutely adore each other. 

Happy Birthday To Me

Continuing on with the weight loss journey I fixed some veggies with andouille sausage and a little Lawrey's Seasoned Pepper. SOOOooo very yummy.  The scale is down 16 pounds now and I can tell you I feel lighter.  Oh, I know there is a long way to go but I'm already feeling the effects of the pounds melting away.  Hey look, I'm not perfect especially when I wanted to celebrate my birthday without being tied to a diet.  The past few days I have enjoyed but not gone overboard.  Wednesday I met my childhood best friend for MEXICAN, my favorite, and I ate chips, queso and had one cheese enchilada and a margarita.  But, I wasn't over stuffed and I was quite satisfied.  I didn't eat the beans or the rice at all.  Then yesterday, MY 65th BIRTHDAY I had a Schlotsky's for lunch.  That was because I HAD to be at work and because of a glitch in my accounting had to be there well through my lunch and was in danger of overeating.  The Hubby picked up a sandwich for me, still no soda/pop and I ate it with gusto and continued on with my work.  Plus, IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY!  

For dinner we, my sweet family all went out to dinner to a local restaurant called Roka, an Asian-Fusion restaurant.  I was going to have my usual Pad Thai but opted for coconut shrimp and a cocktail, and for my "birthday cake" I had about 5 bites of their yummy bread pudding.  Honestly I was very content with my food choices and I didn't overeat any of it, left a lot on my plate.  The main thing was enjoying the company of my favorite people in my life.

Getting those warm hugs.  My life is so full it is bursting and I could not be happier.

Happy Birthday to me.  I think 65 is going to be fun.

Weight Loss Update

This weight loss journey is working.  I'm AGAIN on the downhill slide with the scale.  I'm back to where I was a couple of years ago before the weight started up again, but this time I am NOT stopping.  For some reason it has been much easier and the food is really satisfying to me this time.  Could be that I'm making it eye appealing too.  I'm continuing the low carb-no carb diet but that doesn't mean I'm not occasionally having a potato or like Sunday evening with our steak half a sweet potato.  The weekend I had a biscuit and about 2 tablespoons of hash browns.  I am not going to deny myself but I am eating in moderation.  One of my issues is portion control and I do LOVE my carb stuff.  I've not had a soda-pop-diet soda since February either and that is a biggie.  99% of the time I only drink water with an glass of red wine in the evenings or on the weekend a gin and tonic.  It's working and that is what counts.  

This one was zucchini, red pepper, asparagus and shrimp with a dash of jalapeno salt and lemon olive oil.

One evening I just was at a loss on what to cook but decided to make an omelet with spinach, cheese and leftover bruschetta.  Oh goodness, so very yummy.

Last night was tilapia with Paul Prudhomme Seafood Magic seasoning and lemon olive oil with a little bit of red pepper and spinach with a splash of balsamic vinegar.  

The scale is 16 pounds down and my goal (hopefully by the end of the year) is a total of 51 pounds.  So far I only have 35 pounds more to go.  Maybe I'll make it by the end of the year.  I think if I continue to eat like this I will.  It's already easier to move my body so I need to add some exercise but honestly just being able to get up off the couch is a big win.  My body had hit a brick wall with the weight gain and I think I was in danger of being completely immobile and I am WAY TOO YOUNG for that.  This Friday I will turn 65 years old.  How in the world is that possible.  Mentally that just doesn't make sense but if I had continued my body was definitely that and that was not good.  I have a lot more to do in my life and I did not want it to be in a wheelchair or bed.  

Better Days

We have a new granddog...Name is Vance, maybe.  He's all puppy breath, puppy kisses and so very soft and cuddly.  

Denial

 

My first painting, "Fan In Window"

Denial.  I am once again going to rant here about denial.  I have continued over and over again to jury into various shows and organizations with a never ending flurry of red "X's".  I'm very frustrated and confused to what the problem is.  This past couple of months I have once again received notices that I was turned down from Oil Painters of America, American Impressionist Society, National Oil Painters Society, and yesterday, yet again, for the fifth time, Women Artists of the West.  I've been asked many times from friends and family why I continue to try, why don't I just enjoy painting and let it be that.  Am I fooling myself that I think I'm better than I really am.  Am I just not as good as my ego is trying to make me.  I keep trying because I have a goal and I would like to attain it before I die.  Aren't you supposed to set goals in your life.  It's what drives us isn't it.  But sometimes it's hard to continue to get beat down over and over again.  I WANT TO achieve this goal but when you continually pay money to enter these competitions and get shot down EVERY SINGLE TIME, then I guess it's time to give up but I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP.  I don't want to be a failure and that's what it feels like.  I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought of was being denied, failure and it made me not want to get out of bed.  My studio partner is kind of a "Debbie-Downer" when I talk to her.  She's already been in one of these competitions once and said she's not interested in doing it again.  I know she's going through some family stuff that is taking her down but she was a inspiration to me and we were doing this a lot of the time TOGETHER and now she's like, "been there, done that" kind of attitude.  Well, I HAVEN'T been there, done that YET!  I want to achieve this goal but am really doubting myself.  

This past weekend I took several of my paintings to the cabin because I'm going to have a Screened Porch Art Show and Sale on Saturday, this next weekend.  We hosted a dinner Friday night and I knew that several of the people attending would not be there on Saturday.  It was a good call because I sold three of my paintings right off the bat.  Honestly why create all these paintings if they are going to sit in a pile and never hang anywhere.  I want, I NEED to sell them to make space so I can create more, and I need some validation that I'm doing my best and entering into the show and competitions is giving me that boost I need.  

Oh, maybe this is a useless rant, I don't know.  I'm just feeling very down about it all and that is not good for me to be creating art. 

Week Wrap-up

A dieting we will go.  Yes, I am still low carb-ing it and finally the scale is moving in the right direction after being quite stuck.  I'm down 14 pounds now and I can feel it and you can physically see it on me.  I think spring, warmer weather and better veggies are helping me.  The Hubby is eating pretty much everything I'm eating now and that does help.  I don't deny myself though.  The other night I went out with my book club and I was good for dinner of salmon, grilled veggies and a salad, BUT I did indulge in a dessert.  That's okay and the next morning is when the scale shifted.  I'm totally good with that.  

Thursday night I didn't want to order in or go out which is our usual Thursday night thing but instead fixed a large omelet to share with spinach, cheese and some leftover bruschetta over the top.  It was so tasty and he loved it.  

Friday evening at the cabin we hosted a dinner for 12 on the porch with grilled beef tenderloins.  Everyone brought a veggie, appetizer, salad or dessert to share.  It was fantastic and feels like getting back to the good times again.  We had cocktails, we girls call it "Day-Drinking" at 4:30 and a couple of the guys joined us.  Then the crowd started showing up and the guys decided to sit around the unlit firepit in the yard for cigar smoking and we girls enjoyed the porch.  Dinner was served and the beef was devoured.  After a quick dessert (I did not eat) of cheesecake the cigar crew went to P&T's covered porch because a light rain had begun to fall.  Our porch is the best for rain gatherings.  We girls and a guy stayed put and enjoyed the rain and music and lots and lots of laughter.  I so love my friends there and our cabin.  

We had to go home Saturday so I could watch Mini and Snicklefritz and The Hubby had a guy gathering and dance in the evening.  We were quite busy this weekend.  

I was reminded by our youngest that it had been a year since she, her hubby and baby Mini moved here from California.  A year since these two cousins have become the best of friends.  It is the bright spot during this damn pandemic, bringing my family to one town and with all that has happened since Daddy and my dear MIL-Gloria passing.   You have to look for the bright spots to get through the bad spots.  Yes we have lost loved ones but they got to experience the love of the babies a lot at the end.  

I could not be happier having ALL my girls around me.  I have needed my family complete and whole again.  

 

Life Carries On

Life carries on.  This past week the CDC lifted the mask thing and I couldn't be happier as is the entire US.  This past weekend we drifted off to the cabin and enjoyed a very quiet time with friends, unmasked.  We were not to worry because they've all been vaccinated!  Friday evening we had a few over for pizza and chitter-chatter.  So nice sitting on the screened porch.

Last night (Saturday) we were invited to another cabin we don't usually party at.  Just haven't been invited but last night was a weenie roast and pot luck.  It was so much fun around the fire pit with friends again.  Seems like life is being restored again to a comfortable pace and I couldn't be happier.

 

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day

This weekend I toddled off to Edmond for a Derek Penix painting workshop.  While away, just overnight mind you, this is what I came back to.  The sink, after only one night and one person in the house was nothing but glasses.  He is a funny guy with his glass usage.

I DID come home to this, an empty dishwasher, both drawers.  That has been his new thing that he does around the house is keep it empty and I just keep it loaded with dirty dishes, i.e. his glasses.

I also woke up this morning to a card and two vases of roses and carnations.

Part of the roses are going to his mother's grave today.  Her loss is still very fresh in our hearts.

The workshop was just what the doctor ordered.  Day 1 was slow taking off but was fun to listen, learn and chatter with fellow artists.

I've done many workshops over the years but this time I feel I've finally managed to scale the crap down that I bring.

Yesterday I managed to paint this little jewel and Derek actually said, "Fabulous Carla."  He has NEVER said that about my paintings.  I'll take the compliment.  It's not quite finished and hopefully I will get it all done tomorrow.  This week should be some quality time in front of my easel with my newfound feeling of wanting to PAINT!

Again, Happy Mother's Day to all the momma's of the world.  To my Momma and mother-in-law in heaven and to my darling daughters as they travel the world of motherhood.