Moving Forward

Lots on my mind lately, weight loss, pain, family, possible surgery, retirement...

Yesterday was my baby's birthday, #36!  Somehow I do NOT feel that old but guess what, I AM!  I am 65 years old now and on MEDICARE!  Who let that time machine continue on and make me old.  In my heart I am still in my 30's at least but my body is certainly betraying me.  Last night I hurt, absolutely hurt.  My leg, not necessarily my hip but my leg hurt.  I think it has to do with the sciatic nerve and because my leg is shorter than the other one the muscles don't work as well and they are atrophying.  I honestly was in tears last night because it hurt all the way down my leg through my knee and just above the ankle, where I broke it at age 11.  Wondering if that nerve is caught there or something.  I finally got up and took a couple of Aleve and was able to dose back off until the alarm went off at 5.  Miserable, absolutely miserable last night and today is a bit rough because it even hurts to walk a bit and I have a lot to do because I'm having company tonight.  I have got to clean my kitchen and make some pie.  ARGHHHHHhh! 

This little recipe I developed after reading a few other recipes.  

(Oh, and the scale has been up because of TOO MUCH birthday celebrations but as of today it is back down to a loss of 16.8 pounds!!!)

Chicken Curry Salad (single serving)

Boneless/skinless Chicken breast

1/2 tsp (or more) Curry powder

1 tsp olive oil

Salt & pepper

Celery stalk, chopped

20 seedless grapes, halved

1 Tbls toasted pecan pieces or halves

1 Tbls mayonnaise

Preheat oven 350°. Rub oil over chicken and season with salt, pepper, and curry powder to taste. Roast 25-30 minutes till meat thermometer registers 165° internal temperature. When done let it set to cool a bit and chop celery and halve grapes. Toast pecans in 350° oven about 3-5 minutes. When chicken cools chop and add to bowl with the rest of the ingredients. Adjust seasonings to taste. Enjoy.

On to other things on my mind and it does relate to my age again.  I've been entering all these art competitions and shows trying to get in and all I'm doing is wasting my time and losing a lot of money because all I am getting in return are RED "X'S".  Turned down over and over again and it starts taking a hold on my mental health.  Then I begin to think I am going to quit this merry-go-round of entering and just give it up.  I watch a lot of artists do it, they paint, get in the shows, ship the paintings off and sometimes attend the shows but honestly, because of how my physical body is working I am not inclined to participate in that stuff anymore.  I really don't want to give up that desire but I am not seeing light at the end of this dark art tunnel.  I have tried and tried to no avail.  Don't you want to be accepted with your peers?  I certainly do, my art peers, but the constant denials are slapping me in the face and I'm too tired and in too much pain to deal with it right now.  Have I waited to late in life?  I'm afraid I have and that is such a sad thought for me.  I look at my art studio, which is a mess right now and don't see a point in continuing it all.  I'm just creating a lot of paintings that are gathering dust because I can't seem to sell much either and since the pandemic shows have stopped, local stuff.  If there are some I am just too sore and exhausted to try to schlep my stuff to the show.  It takes a lot of energy that I just don't have anymore.  I don't trust myself to be able to walk, let alone carry paintings to a show.  It's all I can do to get groceries inside the house.  

Plus we are still working, not me so much, but I am going into the office when needed and the job I do is needed.  I do invoicing, payroll, deposit checks, accounting...I am needed there and we are so close to being able to end it.  I don't have time to have hip surgery yet.  I need my hip done, my knee and I think my shoulder and none of it am I looking forward too, but it all may become a necessity, especially after last nights painfest!  The Hubby has set the end of the year for the closing our business doors, one way or another.  We find a buyer or we just close it down.  Originally it was June 1 of THIS YEAR, but obviously that didn't happen.  

Weight Loss Update

This weight loss journey is working.  I'm AGAIN on the downhill slide with the scale.  I'm back to where I was a couple of years ago before the weight started up again, but this time I am NOT stopping.  For some reason it has been much easier and the food is really satisfying to me this time.  Could be that I'm making it eye appealing too.  I'm continuing the low carb-no carb diet but that doesn't mean I'm not occasionally having a potato or like Sunday evening with our steak half a sweet potato.  The weekend I had a biscuit and about 2 tablespoons of hash browns.  I am not going to deny myself but I am eating in moderation.  One of my issues is portion control and I do LOVE my carb stuff.  I've not had a soda-pop-diet soda since February either and that is a biggie.  99% of the time I only drink water with an glass of red wine in the evenings or on the weekend a gin and tonic.  It's working and that is what counts.  

This one was zucchini, red pepper, asparagus and shrimp with a dash of jalapeno salt and lemon olive oil.

One evening I just was at a loss on what to cook but decided to make an omelet with spinach, cheese and leftover bruschetta.  Oh goodness, so very yummy.

Last night was tilapia with Paul Prudhomme Seafood Magic seasoning and lemon olive oil with a little bit of red pepper and spinach with a splash of balsamic vinegar.  

The scale is 16 pounds down and my goal (hopefully by the end of the year) is a total of 51 pounds.  So far I only have 35 pounds more to go.  Maybe I'll make it by the end of the year.  I think if I continue to eat like this I will.  It's already easier to move my body so I need to add some exercise but honestly just being able to get up off the couch is a big win.  My body had hit a brick wall with the weight gain and I think I was in danger of being completely immobile and I am WAY TOO YOUNG for that.  This Friday I will turn 65 years old.  How in the world is that possible.  Mentally that just doesn't make sense but if I had continued my body was definitely that and that was not good.  I have a lot more to do in my life and I did not want it to be in a wheelchair or bed.  

Dieting, YET AGAIN!

Finally the holidays are over, the Christmas decorations are stowed away till next year and the new year is a month in.  Now I'm look at working on the weight plan since CLEARLY I've fallen off the cliff in that area.

Last summer I really was doing great with the Nutrisystem and was nearly 20 pounds down but after being in New York, LA, all the holiday goings-on I've put 10 back on, real quick. 

Monday I had a physical and even though I'm still down (doctor is happy) and my blood pressure was awesome I need to get back with it.  My doctor, my kind helpful SKINNY doctor proceeded to go on and on about this NOOM app that he uses to lose weight.  Right there I wanted to hit him but I listened.  I decided to try it out along with my Nutrisystem.  I'm using both the apps along with the food and have taken a month off from workout because I have to focus on one thing right now.  My whole issue is fast food and I know it.  I'm easily swayed at lunch time if I don't plan and have my food with me to just swing by a fast food place because it's easy.  So if I can have my lunches ready to go then the rest of my day and meals are easy.  I try to cook very good for dinner and have no issue, mostly in that department.  It's like last night for dinner I cooked salmon fillets with 1/2 cup of brown rice and steamed spinach.  It was delicious and I was quite satisfied.  Tonight will be grilled chicken and a veggie of some kind and maybe pan roasted sweet potatoes.  See, I can cook well and lean.  Even going out to dinner I mostly choose well from the menu, salad, lean fish or chicken but occasionally I want a steak and baked potato with all the fixin's and that's okay.  

MY ISSUE IS LUNCH AND FAST FOOD!!! Plain and simple.

I'm determined to get this weight off because with the 20 pounds off I felt so much better and with the 10 back on I'm already hurting again.  My body hurts, hurts, hurts and I'm tired of it.