Ettiquette 101

I have a question for you.  Do you write thank you notes?  Do you send out graduation invites, wedding announcements, birth announcements, birthday cards, etc?  Do you expect them?  I've written about writing letters before as I love to write and continue to write to friends and my pen pal for nearly 40 years.  Somewhere in my upbringing I learned from my grandmother the importance and proper way of these things.  Granny taught me how to set a proper table and how to iron your pillow cases and sheets.  I was taught manners; no elbows on the table, napkin in your lap, you know all the right things.  Somehow a close member of my family did not embrace those lessons.  This family member has NEVER sent a thank you note or birthday card out in their life and now I find out that they are not going to send out graduation notices for the graduating senior in their family.  Let me tell you something, I send birthday cards to their children every year, with cash included, and one year when I had not gotten around to it I received a phone call wondering where it was, with the money!  What in the world happened here.  We were raised together.  I don't understand, and you know I am very, very tempted NOT to send a congratulatory card and "money" to the senior but that would not be fair to the child.  I questioned why and the family member just said they didn't want to but and the announcements were too expensive.  I think it is sheer laziness and not showing the proper stuff to the child.  For goodness sake you can make your own and at least send them to immediate family.  Am I missing this or are all of these lessons not important anymore!