Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Stubborn, Stubborn, Stubborn

Those three words are how I describe my Daddy.  Stubborn!!!  He went home yesterday from the hospital against what we knew he needed.  It was all my brother could do to get the get the guy even in the hospital in the first place.  The plan was 3-4 days in the hospital with his antibiotic infusion, then to skilled nursing for 60-90 days.  Once the plan was made the battle began and continued until he came home yesterday.  My daddy can be a very, VERY angry man.  You will often see a waving finger pointing at you and more often his fist, which he has used.  That fist was waved at the lady doctor and we had to apologize.  And the look, oh the look will buckle my knees, it's the look of an angry parent.  I am nearly 59 years old and that look still makes me quake in my boots.  On Sunday Bro and I both got phone calls from the hospital social worker telling us that he was going to go home with the pic line and needed to have the infusion done every 12 hours and that it would take an hour or so each.  Asked if we could do it, that he said "Carla can swing by to do it!"  No Carla can not.  He had the nerve to tell Bro that we kids needed to "Step Up."  What in the world does he think we have been doing.  Daddy will be 80 in August and he pretty much has his mind, angry and all, and mostly his health.  He still goes and goes when he wants to.  He is now home with home health care coming every 24 hours because the doctor knuckled and changed the protocol of meds to allow him to go home.  The HHC will only be there for two weeks because of insurance but they will teach him how to change the bag of meds.  Okay, really.  I told Bro that the next time this happens Daddy probably won't tell us, I can guarantee it.  I told Daddy at the hospital yesterday that I was leaving on Sunday for Scottsdale Artist School and would be gone for a week.  His response was, "well, we'll see!" Like I'm NOT going.  He is home with two good siblings to fill in and I have planned this for 6 months.  I am going!!!!!!!  It's funny, Daddy tells all three of us kids different things.  He plays us on each other too.  Not cool Daddy.  Taking a page from his mother's playbook and that was nasty.  He told Sis that he didn't have long to live.  He tells Bro that he can live on his own, that Carla can take of it all.  When he sees me he starts saying he can live with me.  NO!  Not happening Daddy.  I grew up with that anger and not going to live with it again.  Daddy has been hanging around with his childhood best friend again and although I love the guy, Jay has a very nasty mouth on him, a bigoted nasty mouth.  Well, Daddy has started emulating that and it is not pretty.  I think even the anger is being enhanced by it.  

Oh gosh, I am rambling but it is good to vent here and let it go!  Thanks for reading.  


Kay said...

Oh Carla, I am so very, very sorry. It's really hard to be a caregiver and when the parent is difficult, it just adds to the stress. You need time off. Please get some rest.

Linda Kay said...

Jill, my heart goes out to you in dealing with all this from your dad. It isn't pleasant when the roles are reversed and the expectations from the children are assumed by the parents. And it sounds like he has left some memories that aren't the most pleasant either. Stand your ground and don't let him make you feel guilty.

Cindy said...

Bless your heart!

Stand your ground and go to your artist retreat. You need the break and your art will improve as a result of everything you learn.

We love our parents. We are thankful for everything they did for us as children. But, we cannot allow them to rule our later years.

Be strong, my friend!