Cancer SUCKS

So much going on in my/our lives right now.  First of all, little Min has been living with us since last Wednesday.  Honestly this time around she has been quite enjoyable and probably would be more so if I was feeling better.  Last week The Hubby started getting sick and Friday finally went to minor emergency where he was diagnosed with bronchitis.  Then Saturday morning Little Miss Muffet woke me up at 2:30 in the morning screaming GRANNY!  I rushed in there and noticed my throat feeling a bit weird.  Well, dang it, I'm sick too.  It's been mostly in my throat with just soreness but from Friday to Monday it didn't get better so I did a video call yesterday with my doctor and he sent in an antibiotic and told me to take Mucinex DM for the little cough and congestion that was starting.  Starting it is.  Good GRIEF!  This has been the slowest moving whatever it is.  I believe it's an upper respiratory, not bronchitis like The Hubby.  I am PRAYING, absolutely PRAYING that Min does not get it and so far she seems fine, so far.  Because if she does she will be with us longer than this Thursday.  

Don't mind saying that I'm burning out with this childcare thing right now.  It's probably because I am sick.  Oh, the reason I have her is this little guy, or should I say husky little guy!  Max had to go into OKC for a quick change out of his feeding tube contraption in his belly but they ran into lots of problems.  Finally, they got it going with a different kind but wanted to keep him to see how he would tolerate the feeds back into his stomach that had been basically shut down.  That meant staying until today when they were to do an already scheduled cath procedure to balloon and to check out his lung function to see if he would be okayed for the next surgery in October or put on a transplant list.  We are on pins and needles with this.  At the minute I'm writing this he is in the procedure and we wait.  Such a sweet happy little boy.

Now to the toughest news of all.  I'm not sure if I posted about my little sister, Dana, but Dana has been battling cancer for nearly a year now.  She was diagnosed with lung and liver cancer, terminal, inoperable but was doing chemo and getting ready for radiation.  She first went to the ER because of severe back pain and found out one of her vertebrae was collapsing so they put surgical cement in it and on she went.  I'm telling you, from the beginning I said I thought the cancer was there too.  Well, she's had a couple more stints in the ER/hospital, one with an ambulance ride.  Dana HATES, DETESTS hospitals and for her to willingly go is a big deal.  About a month ago she went in for pain and most of the use of her right hand.  This time it was more pain and loss of use of both hands and she can barely walk.  Her husband has to help her eat, go to the bathroom, etc.  We got news a couple of days ago that the liver was fully engulfed with cancer and it was pushing on the spine...I THOUGHT THAT!  That is why she is losing function of her extremities.  Either today or tomorrow she is being sent home with hospice. My baby sister is dying.  

I am more than devastated by this.  I knew the cancer was terminal from the onset but when it is down to the wire it is hard to take.  I need and want to see her but with a three year old in tow I can't right now.  If all goes to plan with Max I hope to see her one last time.  GOD, that's hard to say.  Both my girls were able to go to the hospital to see her and that makes my heart happy.  My brother flew up there the minute I called him to see her.  Her kids have been with her.  

SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!!

Also, our Aunt Sharon, one of two siblings left of Daddy's is battling lung and breast cancer.  She is to have a mastectomy soon.  I'm really not sure how much more I can take.  My heart is breaking in two.  

Max & Min

Well, this week took a turn.  First of all, Tuesday evening I took Snicklefritz to see The Lion King.  We went to dinner at In The Raw, hers and my favorite, then it was off to the show.  We really had a great time.  The next day they had to take Max to OKC to have his Gtube changed out.  There was a leak or something.  It was to be a quick turn around thing but it has turned into much more.  

Look ma, no oxygen thingy...sometimes!

Hence, we have had Min since Wednesday and with the AWESOME help of Snicklefritz it has been manageable.

Honestly she's been a lot of fun and probably would be better but someone is sick here.  Actually The Hubby has been sick and eventually went to minor emergency.  He has bronchitis.  That is hard to shake, I know as I had asthmatic bronchitis over 30 years ago and it took 2 years to beat it, and I'm NOT asthmatic!  Yes he is sick but yesterday morning about 1:30 in the AM I was jolted out of sleep by, "Granny, GRanny, GRAnny, GRANNY!!!!!"  I have never jumped up out of bed so fast.  Good LORD....I ran in there to her saying someone shut her door.  GOOD GRIEF!  I left the door open and told her to go back to sleep.  Surprisingly she did till about 6:30.  But that jump out of bed I realized my throat was sore and felt weird.  I was getting sick too.  DAMMIT!  I still have it this morning but after a cup of coffee and breakfast it is better.  I have a frog voice too.  I thought it might be strep but really doesn't feel streppy, feels viral something.  Even if I could go to the doctor I don't think an antibiotic would even be needed.  So we will see what tomorrow brings.  Don't feel too bad, just wrung out by a busy 3 year old.  I am sleeping good too which is important.  

Birthday This and That

I am a whole year older now, Whoopee!  It was a very nice weekend and birthday all in all.  Except we decided to stay in town the past weekend because I had a meeting on Saturday.  Well, the meeting was pushed to the next weekend because the dear lady, Dian, who's house it was to be was in the ER.  Dian is a gem of a sweet person, in her early 80's, even though you would never know it.  Found out yesterday that her spleen had RUPTURED!  OMG, how does that happen unless you are in a car accident or fall.  Poor thing.  Sure hope she recovers.  Scary.

Birthday weekend started with a drive to south Tulsa to see an old cabinite friend.  I had not seen Peggy's new house that she and Tom had moved too.  She was having some lighting issues and of course Robert was on call to help.  Peggy lost her hubby, Tom, our friend a few months ago to cancer and we told her we were there for her if needed.  True to his word we went to help.  Turns out it was a switch she didn't know about...LOL! Happens.  It was a wonderful visit (love her house and little pool!)  Then, since we had nothing else to do he took me for a cheeseburger (my fav).  We also went to dinner for sushi, another fav, all for my birthday.  Saturday I hung at home and painted some watercolor and Sunday too.  Later in the evening girl two brought her family over for some grandkiddo kisses.  

Happy Birthday to me.

Next week this little guy is to have a heart cath to determine his lung function, open the aortic arch...the lung function hopefully shows he is ready for surgery #2 (if not then he will be put on a heart transplant list.)

Last night I went to my "birthday club" .  The birthday club is four friends (includes me).  We have known each other for over 35 years and gotten together for our respective birthdays and more for those 35 years.  They are my closet friends and we are dear friends who are all of the same mindset.  That is so refreshing.  We first met at church so long ago, they still go, I do not.  I love them dearly and they mean the world to me.  It's not about the birthday or gifts, it's about the thoughtfulness of their love as a friend, their compassion, their caring, our caring for each other.  They are my true best friends.  I have surrounded myself with true friends and distanced myself from those who do not feed my soul.  I am rich with friends.  

One more thing, I did cook my own birthday dinner and I'm so okay with that since we had gone out on Friday evening and lunch that day.  Even had a friend text me that they were going to make my meal!  

Chicken thighs

new potatoes

marinated olives (Whole Foods olive bar)

Olive oil

Lemon juice and slices

Rosemary ( from my garden)

Salt & Pepper

Toss all on the olive oil and bake about 350-400 degrees for 45-60 minutes till chicken is done.

Man, it was so yummy. Had roasted asparagus too. Almost forgot the drumsticks for dessert.

Work, Watercolors and BIRTHDAY

Watercolors...that is what I've been up to lately.

Last week I took off on a Wednesday for the cabin and I stayed until Monday!!!  He didn't join me until Sunday because he was dealing with roofers at the shop and he had several dance things.  I spent my time, nearly all of it on my screened porch enjoying the stunning weather, the birds at my feeders, my fireplace (because the mornings were just downright chilly,) and painting.  I brought my watercolors and I painted and painted on this painting.  I took the photo a few days before at the Tulsa Garden Center where our oldest now works knowing it would be a great painting.  I decided to try my hand at it in watercolor and have not been disappointed.  I've also got it sketched in for oils and will try that as well, but I'm very pleased with this so far.

These watercolors are really quite fun and a bit freeing.  They are the opposite of oil painting so it makes my mind think differently, but I'm up for a challenge, and it seems to pay off.

In a few days (Sunday) I will celebrate another trip around the calendar and will turn 67 years old.  GOOD F...NG GRIEF!  So very hard to believe I'm pushing 70 now.  Really do not feel like I'm in my late 60's.  That is just a foreign concept to this brain.  Not going to let anything slow me down though.  I've got too much more to do.

Still working at the office a tiny bit.  The only thing I'm doing in the accounting side of things is try to get the last three customers to settle their accounts.  About 2 weeks ago I sent a letter to them stating that even though we are retired, had closed our doors for doing electrical work, that MY job was not done in wrapping up the accounting and could they kindly settle up.  Well, it worked and two of them paid while I was hanging at the cabin!!!  Now one left and really don't see it coming so will have to write it off and BE DONE WITH IT!  I will contact the accountant in about a week and a half and we may get to shut down the checking account!!! Whoopee!!!!!!  Then I can go in and close out, combine a couple more accounts and be done with it all.  so exciting.  

A Fishin' We Will Go, a Fishin' We Will Go

Thursday we did something.  The Hubby's oldest brother set it up with a fishing guide to go fishing on Lake Eufaula for the day for crappie.  I love fishing, I have a lifetime fishing license.  It's really been years since I've even caught a fish.  I really wasn't too keen on going because I'm not a fan of being on a boat but I knew he wanted to do the experience with me.  So onward.

The drive early, EARLY in the AM on Thursday was a bit sketchy because there was so much fog but it was drivable.  We made it and his brother and wife were excited to show us their new house they are nearly finished in building and to go to breakfast.  Finally, we were headed to the boat launch and we were off.

The water was so very still and quiet that morning.  It was a bit cool as we were speeding on to the crappie spots but I had my shirt and The Hubby found me a great hat that I LOVE!  We slathered on SPF 100 sunscreen and were set to fish.  I caught several but after four hours I was hot and baking on the water as the temperatures started climbing.  

The clouds started coming in as I knew the weather was bringing rain later in the evening.  It made for wonderful photos to paint.  I took lots of pics and then insisted, after the four hours, that I was DONE and needed, urgently, a bathroom.  So they headed in to the brother-in-laws dock area where his wife, sister-in-law picked me up, because they guys were heading back out.

I was concerned for the BIL because he is on oxygen but he seemed to be fine as long as he was seated and he was having such a great time.  I told SIL that we would have to get after them at some point because neither brother wanted to disappoint the other by stopping.  After another three hours they FINALLY came in, only because they ran out of bait...LOL!  

All in all, between the three of us we caught about 40 fish, which the guide cleaned for us.  Friday night was fish for dinner.

After that long day we drove back home, gathered our stuff and food and headed for the cabin for a long weekend, after a stop for a quick dinner.

The drive was just beautiful.

Once there we sure hit the bed early.  I wanted to go on Thursday because I knew it was supposed to rain all day Friday and The Hubby LOVES to be there when it rains.  

We got up Friday morning and of course it was raining.  I got a nice fire going in our porch fireplace and kept it going Friday and Saturday.  So SOOOO very nice.  

Saturday morning the rain was gone and the fire was blazing as the morning was clean and bright.  I filled my bird feeders and kicked back to enjoy the day.  The evening before I went to see my friend Lesa for a drink and she wondered if I was going to watercolor.  She is a novice and I told her I would help her learn.  I got my watercolors out and piddled and she came in the afternoon and we had a great time painting. I really felt like I'm an artist, that I really know what I am doing.  

At some point before she popped over I took a golf cart ride to the meadow and was treated with these beauties.  The club has planted several patches of wildflowers and they are STUNNING!  And they are full of bees just filling the air with buzzing.

It was a most perfect weekend.  I love retirement.

A New Normal

This retirement thing.  It is a bit weird.  Really, I've been partially retired for a long time now, but this duo retirement is a whole new ball of wax.  Every morning for years and years and YEARS the alarm clock has gone off at 5 am.  I roll over, tap the shut off button, and we are off an running for the day.  Mostly he was off and running, but I was still up.  There are still times I roll over and look at the clock dial to see what time it is and it's 4 or 5 am but we don't get up.  I still do occasionally, especially at the cabin in the spring and summer.  I LOVE to wake up and sit on the screened porch and listen to the birds start to wake up, now I can hear them through the windows but I don't get up. 

Now we are trying to renegotiate a new normal in our lives.  He sleeps in, I sleep in.  Before retirement I would hit the stop alarm, turn the TV on the the news and we would get up.  He would fix his bowl of cereal and coffee, and I my coffee and protein bar.  He would sit in the living room eating and watching the news.  I would go to my chair in the bedroom and turn the TV to Charmed, something I've watched every morning for over 20 years.  After a bit it was the bathroom stuff, get dressed, brush teeth, etc.  Now it's cockeyed a bit.  We get up with no alarm, just a normal gradual wake up.  Now it's me with no Charmed, him watching his recorded stuff or on his phone.  It's like 8 maybe 9 am and we are still trudging around.  He still has stuff to do at the shop, mainly getting the units ready to rent, paint the fence, fix a leak in the roof, stuff like that.  I might go and paint, do a little book work, pay some bills, IF I WANT TOO!  

It's also awkward moving around each other in the kitchen, the bathroom.  We had a rhythm, but now it's a bit broken and we bump into each other, are in each others way.  It will take some time but we will work it out, I'm sure.  We need to create a new normal.

I have been hoping to spend more time at the cabin but that has not happen with watching kiddos and stuff, but it will, soon.  Summer will help with that.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day

Honestly it has been a weird Mother's Day.  I haven't seen my girls but I've talked to them.  I also had Snicklefritz stay with us for the weekend and had an awesome time with her.  Lives are very busy in our world and I do totally TOTALLY understand.  I think it's weird because I am really feeling the loss of my momma today.  It's been 17 years but the hurt and loss still creeps up on me at unexpected times, especially on Mother's Day.

 

I'm really missing her because she is missing sooo much in our lives right now.  The birth of three beautiful granddaughters and a grandson.  She would have been a most awesome greatgranny.  It really hurts my heart that she is missing all of that.  

I also miss my sweet mother-in-law.  Gosh she loved her grands, especially the girls because she had three rambunctious boys.

I'm also missing my friend Gail.  She was an awesome mother and was taken just before her first grandchild, a granddaughter was born, something she was so excited for.

I miss her laughter and smile.  I miss the chats we had. 

Happy Mother's Day in Heaven

Workshop and Kiddos

Last Friday was a bit of a whirlwind.  I participated in an acrylic painting workshop at the Art 302 building in Broken Arrow with the incomparable Chantel Barber!  

OMG, acrylics are not in my wheelhouse but I wanted to try it and Chantel was the perfect instructor to help me pull it off.  I haven't finished the painting yet and don't want to share till I do at this point.  The workshop was a 3 day workshop and by the end of the first day I was ready to toss it in and go get my oils, but I decided to stick it out, to learn.  The last time I had worked with acrylics I was 14 years old and hated them then.  I'm still not a fan but it was a great way to reintroduce myself to the medium.

Chantel is absolutely was one of the best instructors I have ever had.  I learned a ton and she was kind and generous enough to share her knowledge.  She's promised to return next year!!!

After 3 longs days of learning art stuff I was then tasked to take care of the 3 year old again.  Sadly Mighty Max Sunday morning woke up not feeling well and by the end of the day Min was dropped off at her Auntie Biff's for me to get later in the day while Max was taken to the emergency room.

A baby with half a heart needs to be watched closely and quickly in the evening his temp was rising.

Poor little guy had pneumonia.  It's a common thing in these heart babies.

They quickly put him on strong antibiotics and they kicked that pneumonia's butt!  By morning Monday morning the pneumonia was gone and he was smiling.  This baby....

Min spent one more night with us but so very happy to be able to hug her little brother again.  She was really so good with us, not the potty training regression (thank GOD!)  With her getting a bit older she is so much more fun to hang around with, yet it is tiring.  I just couldn't get her to leave the house.  I really needed to go to the studio but she did NOT want to leave so we just hung at the house.  

I'm very glad that all is well with this little guy and that they are all home. Today they had to go to OKC to his cardiologist to check the heart with an echocardiogram and all turned out fine!  That's a good thing.