Melancholia

Good morning.  It's a beautiful morning with the sun blasting through the windows.  Thanksgiving is over and the rush that is Christmas is on.  The past several years I try to get the decorations up the weekend after Turkey day and yesterday the girls, all of them helped to make it happen.  I so appreciate and LOVE my girls, all of my girls.  I am truly blessed.

I just can't physically drag all the boxes and manhandle the tree anymore, at least this year.  Hopefully next year, with a new hip I will be a new woman and able to accomplish.  Not last year and probably not the year before but I have tried to have my sweet MIL, Gloria and bro-in-law and his hubby over for dinner and to help too with this task.  I tried to make it a tradition.  It's sad that this year Gloria is not here to enjoy the season she loved so much.  I could almost hear her humming Christmas carols while choosing the right branch to hang an ornament.  

I fixed spaghetti for all (vegan versions too) and we all ate before the real decorating began.  I have a fully little flashing light necklace that little Min found and ran into the kitchen with it twinkling around her neck saying, "look Granny."  Oh the sparkle in her eye.  She had such a fun time and Snicklefritz is such a huge helper.  She spent the night after everyone went home and we watched the last of Santa Clause 3 before bedtime with a promise of cocoa in the morning with her chocolate chip waffles.  

I just feel so bad that I can't really participate as much as I used to in the decorating but I sat on the walker and hung ornaments to the best of my ability last night.  At one point Af found the stockings and there was the felt one that Momma made me so very many years ago.  She held it up and, "do you want to hang it, I think you should."  OMG, I just choked.  This sadness just fell over me out of nowhere and I started to cry.  I just shook my head no.  I couldn't see it this year.  I seem to really be missing my momma lately, a lot and not sure why.  Could be that with losing my "other" momma that is driving this melancholia.  Plus knowing I may have a surgery coming, hoping I do at least.  I'm also quite aware of the things I just can't do right now.  I want to bake fruitcake, host a Christmas party, shop, wrap presents, DECORATE!  It's just a lot around the holidays I think.  Maybe if I didn't hurt most of the time when I move.  I know it will pass, I just move forward everyday and time does heal.  

What I look forward to is see the babies, their eyes, their love, their joy and awe of the season.  That drives me for sure.  I do love the season and it will be okay.  

TRULY Thanks(giving)

We hosted the family Thanksgiving yesterday and it was a most awesome day.  We were missing a nephew and his family as he had heart surgery last week.  We were missing my bro-in-law's hubby who sadly lost his mother last week.  We were missing our little doggie, Clayton, and Mondo.  Most of all were missing my darling mother-in-law, Gloria and my Daddy.  The nephews also lost their mother a few months ago.  My brother and his family were not able to attend either as they are staying close to home with his new grandbaby.  Too many Covid, flu and RSV germs floating around for comfort there (I so understand that!)  

It has certainly been a very hard time for this family the past year and being able to hang with everyone, to celebrate what we are truly thankful for is, well, just wonderful.  

These girls....Happy Thanksgiving to one and all.  

Giggles and Grands

 Good Sunday morning.  

It's a bit dreary outside this morning but it's fall and the sun isn't our friend as much.  This weekend we stayed in town so the oldest could have a mini reunion with three of her friends at the cabin, the fourth not in the state to attend.  That's okay because I took it as an opportunity to have Snicklefritz spend the weekend with us.  I haven't seen that little stinker in about 5 weeks, the amount of time the Sunday funny papers had piled up.  I save them for her to read and she loves them.  Of course the opportunity was there to allow the other grand, Min, to come and spend time with her beloved cousin.  OMG, these two.  Min absolutely, ABSOLUTELY adores Snicklefritz and they just play and giggle constantly.  Here they are "playing" makeup and (fake) fingernail polish.  

Then I had a couple of Amazon boxes, and what do you do with boxes, you sit in them an drag yourself around or have an older cousin push you around.  They just giggled and giggled and Min laughed a laugh I had never heard her use, it was so full of joy.

I think by the end of the day though Snicklefritz was kind of done sharing and being the play toy of a two year old, but she so loves her too.  I kind of think she wanted Granny's attention and I could see it.  It was a long day, but after they went home to bed I looked at Snicklefritz and said, "you want to play Monopoly (Jr. Monopoly)", and she yelled, "YES!"  So we played a couple of quick games until she was exhausted and quite ready for bed.  In fact, it is nearly 9 am and she is still asleep.  We were up watching Home Alone 2, until 11pm so I'm sure she is tired.  When she wakes I'll fix her breakfast of scrambled eggs (my scrambled eggs, her favorite), pumpkin cinnamon roll, and blueberries.  She's a great eater for me.  She had the same breakfast yesterday.

This week I will prepare for Thanksgiving as I'm still having the whole family here, walker and all.  I can do it because everyone is bringing something and all I'm doing is the turkey, dressing, gravy and probably a relish plate.  I really can't wait!  Then hopefully on Friday we will get Christmas up and I will be ready for the season.  I'm done with shopping and will get it all wrapped and ready under the tree, JUST IN CASE I have the hip surgery.  My appointment is December 6!  

I finished this painting this week.  I think it's a really nice one and I've already got people interested in buying it!  

"Fall Shadow Play"

9x12 oil

IPad Woe's

This week has been a bit un-busy for me.  I've had the opportunity to again watch little Min a couple of times.  She is such a bright light in our lives.  Oh gosh, grandchildren are just wonderful medicine.  Next weekend I will have Snicklefritz all weekend and am really looking forward to that.  This week I went to Min's house one day and got in some cat petting, crossword and Little Bear watching.  

Then Wednesday evening she came to see me for a couple of hours, raincoat and all.  It was an evening of a lot of storms, tornado sirens and explaining thunder to a 2 year old.  Luckily we were safe, away from a tornado touchdown not far away from us.  That was a bit scary.  There were actually three reported but one was only about a mile away!!!  She decided to wear the raincoat for awhile when the rain started and her eyes were great round orbs every time the thunder rattled the walls.  I think my aunts used to say it was angels bowling in heaven, I chose to say that the clouds were bumping into each other and she liked that.  

I've kind of been at a loss for something to do lately.  My NEW IPad got a cracked screen, AGAIN and since I have AppleCare I took it in to a recommended place.  They sent it in and Apple will replace with a new one for $49!  Great, but that means NO IPAD for the entire week.  I can't paint or even play games which I do a lot.  My OLD IPad I took in to but it is a loss.  I had dropped it a couple of times and cracked the screen and had that replaced by a third party but in doing that the display was damaged and the thing has a mind of it's own.  It goes crazy, opens windows/apps I didn't open and you CANNOT type anything in.  I was told I could have the display replaced but the quote was $347!!!!! I thought I would be able to do it cheaper but no so that one is trash.  I wanted to leave one at the studio.  Oh well, I will wait till the new is in.  Supposed to be the end of the week...TODAY, but I don't see that happening before I go to the cabin this afternoon.  

Since no IPad I've really amped up the knitting but NOW, I've caused my elbow to get, well, knitters elbow I guess.  It is so very sore I can't even put glasses on my face or a fork full of food to my mouth.  Good GRIEF...what am I to do.  You can only watch so much TV or read.  If I read too long I get sleepy sometimes and I DON'T want to constantly nap, then I can't sleep at night.  Without my IPad I can't paint either since I mainly paint with it so that's even a bust.  

RATS RATS RATS!  I'm bored.

 

Join or Not to Join

 The past weekend was wonderful and relaxing, but...an issue arose Saturday evening while our group gathered for dinner and celebrate three birthdays.  We were at J&S's cabin and there were seven women and eight men in attendance.  The men typically all hang around the fire pit outside, weather permitting, while the ladies are inside around the fireplace.  My question is, "is it me."  

Here's the story:  

While we were all inside chatting I was sitting in the living room in the ring around the coffee table and fireplace in a chair while on the couch two ladies sat chatting.  Then across from me in two chairs sat two other ladies and to the right of me sitting alongside the fireplace sat two more.  These three groups of two all sat chatting away while I sat in my chair absolutely NOT included in any of the talk.  I sat quietly, with my wine glass in hand and just looked around the room catching bits and pieces of each conversation.  It was honestly uncomfortable to be left out of three different conversations.  In fact at one time the lady on the couch closet to me physically turned her back to talk to the other lady on the couch.  Do any of the ladies not see that not including me was weird.  Maybe I'm just being odd myself by feeling this way but the whole thing lasted about 30 minutes of me sitting and sipping listening to the different conversations, not including me.  I felt odd man out in a way.  Then I told The Hubby about it last night and he actually said, "well you kind of don't mingle well."  WTF!  I do too but the way the room was set up I was left out, by no fault of mine actually.  This is not the first time something like this has happened here with these people by the way.  I think it just kind of happens by the way the room is set up, but my problem is do I just step into one of the conversations and join.  I've actually done that on occasion but I feel awkward doing that.  Am I just feeling weird where there is no weird?  In situations like this sometimes I jump in with a story that totally doesn't mix and feel even more awkward as they stare at me.  I'm just trying to fit in somewhere where a lot of these ladies have a lot in common where I do not.  Oh maybe it's just a pity party that no one needs to join.  

Should I feel weird about this?

 

Ho-Ho-Ho...No-No-No...

Ummmm...not sure about all this holiday stuff yet.  I love, LOVE Christmas time.  It is my favorite time of year, BUT...I need Thanksgiving first please.  It is only November 3 and the Christmas commercials and music have begun.  NO-NO-NO, no Ho-Ho-Ho until we get some Gobble-Gobble-Gobble!  Granted I've already started shopping and really am nearly done but WHOA on the commercials, especially Branson and the Andy Williams song.  

I think I posted about the hip doctor stuff.  I've had to reschedule yet again for December 6 so it is a distinct possibility that I will have a new hip for Christmas!!!  I'm all for that at this time.  So what that means is that I will definitely have my tree up after Thanksgiving so that I am ready but it may have to stay up a bit longer as I heal.  All this is speculation and hopeful.  I've really been having a hard time getting around but I suspect it's more driven from the colder weather.  When the air pressure plummented the other day my right knee that I've had arthroscopy on felt swollen and so stiff.  It wasn't actually swollen but the stiffness was definitely there.  Gosh it hurt so bad that I was afraid the knee was first on the surgery schedule but after a couple of days and the weather change it was back to normal.  WOW!  But, all that caused me to kind of step weird on my left foot/ankle and cause it to want to twist and fall.  NOT GOOD!  I got Daddy's cane and started using it then we broke out my mother-in-law's never used walker (still wrapped in plastic,) and I've been using it at home, especially to get up and pee in the middle of the night.  Thankfully today the foot is better.  This is also probably driven a bit by the weather.  It SUCKS getting older.  

Last night we went to the PAC with our friends and our season tickets for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  It was the first time we've been since the pandemic started.  We missed the first one because The Hubby was sick.  I told The Hubby this morning that I had two fears about doing it, the crowds (covid) and my mobility.  I was very apprehensive about the process of it all but it turned out good.  I was dropped at the front door and we used the elevator to the orchestra level.  One of my issues is standing, which can be difficult, then lots and lots of steps down to our seats.  We are close to the front and smack in the middle of the auditorium.  I made it in and I made it out with a bit of effort, but I did it successfully.  All went well and we won't have to try that again until January, AND maybe I'll have a new hip by then! 

Some days I move quite well and some days not so well.  If I can just make it to the first of the year my life should be so much better.  I've really been so hesitant on this surgery but now it is just a must.  I need it to carry on or I will be in a wheel chair in a year, I know that at this point.