Thursday, July 05, 2012

Marriage - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Mama's Losin' It's writing prompts this week are interesting but the one I chose is:

How long have you been married, and which years were the best and hardest?

This, I think I can answer that question with some authority.  The Hubby and I have been married 36 years now.  It's hard to imagine that, 36 years, living with the same person.  I don't feel that old and I don't feel like that much time has passed.  The Hubby and I met on a blind date.  I've written about our meeting, engagement and even our 25th anniversary that was so special here.  The first year was probably the best, but it was also the hardest.  We didn't have a lot of stuff or money, but we had a great apartment and each other.  Songs on the radio can transport me to that year in 1976, a cool breeze through an open window in the spring, certain smells, that year was the best, but for me it was also the hardest.  

I was 19 years old and had never been away from my family for any length of time.  Here I was, married to the guy that swept me off my feet, living in a different town so unknown to me.  I know it was only from Broken Arrow to Tulsa, but at the time that was so far away.  Growing up in a small town, which Broken Arrow was at that time, we rarely went to Tulsa.  I did not know how to get around in Tulsa, and felt so alone and lost, yet I had to be with my husband, the man that I loved dearly.  There were a lot of tears and a lot of laughter that first year.  Again we were mere babes.  We had to learn how to budget our money, manage our household, pay our bills, do our own laundry, cook our meals, grocery shop...the list was endless and never ending.  

We still drive by the apartment building and remember, and that is where we renewed our vows (here).  That was the year we began the foundation of a lifetime together. 

I don't think I could be specific on a "hardest" year.  We've had ups and downs but not necessarily in the marriage.  I'm not to be so naive to say we haven't had some bad fights but they don't last and they don't make our marriage.  Somewhere back in my memory I can remember hearing about the "7 year itch" but we didn't have that.  Actually, by that time we had one child, business was booming, I was going to school, life was good.  Another seven years and we were still trucking along in business and another kiddo.  Probably our roughest years have been when there were hiccups in the business and it made us stronger and more united.  

Marriage is not a bed of roses sometimes, but it is also where I want to stay.  I LOVE MY LIFE!  It's very hard work and if I let the first fight scare me off we would't be here today, 36 years later, two beautiful daughters, a granddaughter on the way, a successful business, etc.  It is endless.  


10 comments:

Veronica said...

Congratulations on a long and wonderful marriage.

Banker Chick said...

I have had a long and pretty much happy marriage for many years as well. Ups and downs are what make marriage interesting. Visiting from Mamakat's.

Winnie said...

Congratulations! It is lovely to read about your great life. It is a great life if you love and are loved. I was widowed at 40 after watching my hubby suffer with cancer. It was the soul crushing for me. I am remarried now, after 6 years and am enjoying an entire "new" life. It is different and work, but I am happy to have another love. Keep doing what you are doing!!

Jessica said...

"I don't think I could be specific on a "hardest" year. We've had ups and downs but not necessarily in the marriage."............I love this comment! It's so true! My husband and I are only 4 years into our marriage, but we have dealt with stuff that could give us the experience of a 50 yr marriage (lay offs, leaving a home you love, dealing with his DEVIL of an ex)....it's true, you can't pin point the hardest year, you just gain experience and build your relationship stronger from it...awesome post!!!

faith said...

I love this... so hopeful. Getting married young can be a little crazy but it can be wonderful too.

keepcalmandloveon said...

I love to hear stories of marriage at it's best...of marriage succeeding...congrats to you and your husband!

Sweet Tea said...

Great memories.
Those first, lean years are some of my favorites too.
Congrat's on a good marriage which has stood the test of time!

Beryl said...

Absolutely lovely - I like realistic love stories.

Kay said...

Congratulations on a wonderful, hard working, loving marriage.

Lady Rynn said...

Thank you for sharing that marriages are worth working through the good and the bad. And that you can make it 36 years with the same person! I'm glad you have such a beautiful life! Congrats on the grandbaby on the way. Visiting from Mama Kat's.