Friday, January 06, 2012

What's Expected

(Lathe-see I actually know what this is)
Do you do what is expected of you?  Do you expect too much from your wife or husband or child?  Sometimes I feel that I do what is expected of me too much, that I try to please to the detriment of myself.  Maybe the word is pleasing someone.  Oh it's such a muddle in my brain here.  When I was a young girl just out of high school without a hint of opportunity or encouragement of college I was expected to get a job, get married, move out, grow up and move on.  For awhile after high school you could not blast me out of bed and my Daddy tried I can tell you.  He would call my Mother from work and ask if I was up and if not then "GET HER UP!"  She has to get a job.  If that didn't work he would call my phone.  I was just enjoying time away from 12 years of solid school but he would have none of it.  Finally, I did what he expected of me and got up and went to work, at his work.  Daddy owned a machine shop and all three of us kids worked there at one time or another, brother following the career to this day.  I got up and dressed in the nastiest clothes because a machine shop is dirty and greasy.  I would pack a lunch and show up to do a little office work for Daddy and then he taught me to put gear boxes together.  I would do that day in and day out and occasionally he would put me on a drill press or punch press and sometimes a lathe.  It was really great fun, but, oh, my hands suffered.  In the end, I did what was expected of me.  I went to work.  I have followed the guidelines that are expected of a woman of my era, at least in my world, in the Midwest, not California or New York.  I am not saying that I'm unhappy with my life, NEVER, but I am just saying sometimes you wonder about the paths you have chosen in your life.  I was expected to not go to college, which I later did.  I was expected to get married and have children, which I did.   [Hmmm, interesting turn of phrase here: - "Am I expected?" or "I am expected."  One is a question and one is a statement of fact.] 

Now, here I am in my 50's, yes 50's, (leaves a bad taste in my mouth), am I expected to act and assume the role of a 55 year old woman!  I say NO, absolutely not.  I color my hair, I listen to modern music (except Rap-Crap), I try to exercise to keep my joints a moving.  I'm fighting off the unexpectedness of being 55 years old.  I know it is a futile battle but hopefully it will be helpful when I hit the 70's and 80's and maybe 90's.  I am expected to do stuff, to live, to honor and obey...hey wait...honor and be a partner and life long friend.  I am expected to be ME!

(How's that for a ramble!)


Yogi♪♪♪ said...

I wonder sometimes just how I got to where I am. Not that I regret it, but just how did I end up being where I am in life. It all seems so accidental.

What surprises me most is how hard bitten and cynical many of my formerly sweet natured friends from high school and college.

Jill of All Trades said...

Oh Yogi, I know what you mean. I found that a lot when I was doing our high school reunions.

carma said...

I'm 10 years younger and I know exactly what you mean. I do not feel or dress as my mom did at my age and I do my best to maintain what I have. You're right - it is a battle!!