(Lathe-see I actually know what this is) |
Do you do what is expected of you? Do you expect too much from your wife or husband or child? Sometimes I feel that I do what is expected of me too much, that I try to please to the detriment of myself. Maybe the word is pleasing someone. Oh it's such a muddle in my brain here. When I was a young girl just out of high school without a hint of opportunity or encouragement of college I was expected to get a job, get married, move out, grow up and move on. For awhile after high school you could not blast me out of bed and my Daddy tried I can tell you. He would call my Mother from work and ask if I was up and if not then "GET HER UP!" She has to get a job. If that didn't work he would call my phone. I was just enjoying time away from 12 years of solid school but he would have none of it. Finally, I did what he expected of me and got up and went to work, at his work. Daddy owned a machine shop and all three of us kids worked there at one time or another, brother following the career to this day. I got up and dressed in the nastiest clothes because a machine shop is dirty and greasy. I would pack a lunch and show up to do a little office work for Daddy and then he taught me to put gear boxes together. I would do that day in and day out and occasionally he would put me on a drill press or punch press and sometimes a lathe. It was really great fun, but, oh, my hands suffered. In the end, I did what was expected of me. I went to work. I have followed the guidelines that are expected of a woman of my era, at least in my world, in the Midwest, not California or New York. I am not saying that I'm unhappy with my life, NEVER, but I am just saying sometimes you wonder about the paths you have chosen in your life. I was expected to not go to college, which I later did. I was expected to get married and have children, which I did. [Hmmm, interesting turn of phrase here: - "Am I expected?" or "I am expected." One is a question and one is a statement of fact.]
Now, here I am in my 50's, yes 50's, (leaves a bad taste in my mouth), am I expected to act and assume the role of a 55 year old woman! I say NO, absolutely not. I color my hair, I listen to modern music (except Rap-Crap), I try to exercise to keep my joints a moving. I'm fighting off the unexpectedness of being 55 years old. I know it is a futile battle but hopefully it will be helpful when I hit the 70's and 80's and maybe 90's. I am expected to do stuff, to live, to honor and obey...hey wait...honor and be a partner and life long friend. I am expected to be ME!
(How's that for a ramble!)
3 comments:
I wonder sometimes just how I got to where I am. Not that I regret it, but just how did I end up being where I am in life. It all seems so accidental.
What surprises me most is how hard bitten and cynical many of my formerly sweet natured friends from high school and college.
Oh Yogi, I know what you mean. I found that a lot when I was doing our high school reunions.
I'm 10 years younger and I know exactly what you mean. I do not feel or dress as my mom did at my age and I do my best to maintain what I have. You're right - it is a battle!!
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