Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The First Time I was In Love

This is the prompt from Friday on the NaBloPoMo and I thought I would write about it today.  The first time I was in love I was 14 years old.  It also marked my first kiss.  I was in the ninth grade and so very unsure of myself.  I know I was cute and was developing in the body department very nicely but my self esteem was in the toilet. 
His name was Carry and our whole going together was orchestrated by our mutual friends because I didn't even have a class with him.  I knew him but not well.  It was kind of suddenly we were going steady and I was wearing his ID bracelet.  You know how it is that age at school, all the girls are in a group and awkward and the boys are tough and strutting and awkward.  He was in FFA I was in FHA.  We were a couple, at school.  I remember one week we were all taking the national testing stuff and were outside taking a break, not really recess as we were "too old" for that, a break.  He was leaning on a brick step by a bunch of people and pulled me against him sort of sitting/leaning on his lap.  I was petrified and so nervous I could hardly be still, besides I was wearing a very, very short dress and it was the age of mini-dresses.  He was touching me and I think my body was not only shaking from fear but I think it was humming!  Carry was the nicest guy and so cute and I didn't feel worthy, my insecurity was showing.  I used to remember how long we went steady but have long forgotten.  It was probably only a month or less.  Our youth group at church was going to see a movie one Sunday night, The Cross and The Switch Blade with Pat Boone and Erik Estrada and I wanted to ask Carry to go with me.  I got my brave, big girl panties on and called him.  That was going outside the box as back then girls NEVER called a boy.  I called him and asked if he wanted to go and HE SAID YES!  I was over the moon.  My mom picked him up at his house and drove us to the church and we loaded on the church bus.  I wore a coat that was like a parka, HUGE.  I don't even remember the drive there or watching the movie, although I remember the movie, just not watching.  I think he held my hand during the movie, I think.  That ride home on the bus was dark and crowded.  I knew my friends were watching and I was terrified.  He put his arm around my shoulders trying to get closer around the huge coat and slowly he took his other hand and pulled my head around to face him and he kissed me!!!!!!  OH MY GOSH, my first kiss, his lips were so soft.  I was absolutely giddy.  We arrived at the church shortly thereafter and all piled out of the bus and into the church basement to wait for our rides home.  The girls dragged me into the bathroom giggling and squealing because they saw.  I was so embarrassed but so excited at the same time. 

Back at school a few days later I was walking around on cloud nine but so embarrassed to even look at him.  So young.  Then in a blink of an eye my joy turned to utter disaster.  A guy in our class, Doug, walked up to me and said, "Carry wants his ID bracelet back."  My friends were standing by me and it was like I had been slapped in the face.  I didn't know what to say except to take it off and hand it over.  I was devastated.  I cried and cried and cried and was so distraught that I had to call my mother to come get me and take me home that afternoon.  My world had crashed around me and my heart was shattered. 

I have to say that when I think of that guy my heart still goes pitty-pat a bit.  He's actually a friend now, married a grandfather but I won't forget that first love, that first kiss. 

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