Thursday, September 02, 2010

My Sinful Relationship

I have a sinful relationship.  I shouldn't talk about it, but it bothers me, most of the time.  I know it is something I just can't avoid and that we all have to deal with it everyday of our lives, some more successfully than others. 

My sinful relationship is with ....................


I know, I know, it may not be so "sinful" but sometimes it is, to me.  Last Monday, I just had this urgent desire for a Sonic Butterfinger Blast.  I only get about one a year, but the pull was driving me crazy for a couple of weeks.  I just decided to feed that desire and DO IT!  Food and I have had this on and off again sinful relationship since I was a child.  I like no LOVE  food of most any kind.  There are only a few food items that I just do not like.

  1. Milk - Mother said I threw my bottle down at 9 months old and never touched the stuff again.  In fact the Sonic ice cream blast had a negative effect on me.  My stomach hurt that night and most of the morning yesterday.  I don't mind it on my cereal or cooking with it but to drink it straight - blech!
  2. Goat cheese - I like cheese, all kinds of cheese and some goat cheese, like feta, but strong tasting goat cheese will make me hurl.
See, I like everything and that can be a problem.  I remember Momma's cooking very fondly.  She was an awesome cook.  Growing up in then small town Broken Arrow we didn't have the luxury (I say luxury but really it's not) of take out.  The selection was just not there.  We had KFC and the local Tastee Freeze, and in my high school years Ken's Pizza.  We ate at home every evening.  Family dinners at home with the "family".   Mom cooked the best fried chicken and gravy, chicken livers, and liver and onions in the area.  She used to bake a lot, like homemade cinnamon rolls or even donuts.  Daddy can't be left out as he was our breakfast maker on the weekends.  We didn't eat fattening stuff, but home style, home cookin'.  We always had fresh vegetables and fresh salads at nearly every meal.  I didn't have a weight problem until I met The Hubby and we spent a lot of time eating out in Tulsa.  Hey to get McDonald's when I was in high school we had to drive to 41st & Yale.  But with The Hubby I had access to all of it.  He introduced me to Taco Bell and I thought I had died and gone to heaven.  Oh my gosh the burrito supreme was to die for and frankly if I had not stopped eatting that kind of stuff that is exactly what would have happened, at an early age.  Don't get me wrong I have been known to hit that drive thru every once in awhile but the last time I realized that it just didn't taste that good.  I think my taste buds have changed.  I just don't crave it anymore.  It was not healthy.  I think I need to remind myself sometimes that it is just not what it was before, the taste.  I've broken the addiction.  I have to remember too that we used to bicycle or walk everywhere when I was young, to school, the grocery store, the dime store, everywhere.  It was a much healthier lifestyle.  We only had one television and that was monopolized by Daddy so we were always outside playing with the neighborhood kids or on the bikes. 

I've given up diet soda.  Let me back up a bit there.  My grandmother always had Dr. Pepper or Pepsi at her house.  The pop cabinets were always stocked with those and strawberry or orange crush.  Her freezer always had vanilla ice cream to go with the crushes too.  Her cabinets and coffee tables filled with candy bowls overflowing, and these were not tiny bowls, they were gigantic bowls.  The house was not safe food wise.  I watched her one time take a Jiffy cornbread mix and add sugar, eggs, milk and flour.  I was shocked but as I got older I understood her addiction to sugar.  When she died we found bags of candy stuffed in her lingerie drawers and closets.  It was really bad and Grandpa was a diabetic who lost one leg to it and died with gangreen in the other one.  I've given up diet soda but that is not to say I won't have one on occasion but I don't buy the 24 packs and drink it up in a couple of days anymore.  And you know it really doesn't taste good anymore either. 

I've changed a lot about my diet and the sinful relationship I have with food.  I may fall back to the bad habits but I don't stay there.  The addiction to whatever is in fast food and diet sodas has changed in my life. 

Do you ever watch a skinny or rather thinner person eat.  Spend some time with them.  One of my good friends is very, very thin and always has been, but they do eat different.  They eat slower, so their stomachs catch up to the brain.  They sometimes forget to eat.  Imagine that.  I would NEVER forget to eat.  They get depressed and don't eat.  I get depressed and I find my head in the fridge and my wide butt hanging out of it wagging my tail if I find something good to eat.  I have to retrain my thoughts to eat more like a thin person.  I don't plan on being thin but I plan on being healthy and have a healthier body style.  It's hard work and not something you can do with a shot or not eating but a lifestyle change.  I've been working for years to make that change.  I don't beat myself up if I dip into the Rotel cheese dip or have a Sonic blast I just take the next moment and move one.  One step at a time on the treadmill!  My sinful relationship with food will never leave me but I can make it a much healthier realtionship. 


♥Georgie♥ said...

loved this post! I could really relate to this statement They sometimes forget to eat. Imagine that. I would NEVER forget to eat. They get depressed and don't eat. I get depressed and I find my head in the fridge and my wide butt hanging out of it wagging my tail if I find something good to eat.

Char said...

so many people suffer with food addictions of one level or another and have to be ridiculed. it's so sad how people are suffering without any pity.


Yogi♪♪♪ said...

Great post. Its not a matter of going on a diet its a matter of changing what and how you eat, and that is hard.

Kay said...

I can relate to this, too. I have a relationship with sugar and salt that's hard to break.

Mom Mayhem says: said...

I must admit to this "sinful" relationship too -I pretty much love all food -except seafood mostly. I love sweets though which is bad since most of my dad's side of the family have diabetes -My Gma who passed away a few mo's ago had to give herself insulin shots even. I wouldn't doubt if in the future I'd have to do the sugar free thing or something.

Debbie said...

It is so hard to have a healthy relationship with food. I'm sorry the Sonic hurts you!