Thursday, September 14, 2006

Time To Myself

I know this sounds weird but I have been trying to get time to myself ever since Momma left us. I just need some space and The Hubby seems to think that this is the time he needs to be close. ARGHHHHHHH!!!!! I work in our business with him, I live with him, we go to the lake place together, we sit at home in the evenings ALONE together. I need space!!!!!!! I never got to go the spa week or two for my big 50 this year and I'm so looking into doing that. I feel like I'm just going to explode if I don't get a break. I'm bored with my life. I'm bored with the marriage...yes I said that. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my Hubby but I need some time to think. I don't want to be like my parents and at the end of Momma's time they ONLY had each other and us kids. I want friends around. I feel like Momma and Daddy were so alone. I know Daddy was and is now. I know it is contradicting to think I need time to myself yet want friends. It's just that I need time to process all that has happened this year and yet I NEED social outlets too. Maybe I need to talk to someone (if you know what I mean). I don't know. I'm just bored. I've hit burnout at the office and don't want to be there or even be around any of it. I can't quit because it is a partnership with The Hubby and it's our livelihood. Maybe I need a side business or project or something....something..............................Can't wait till girls weekend though. That will be nice.

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