How Do You Say Goodbye

It is raining this early, early Saturday morning.  The forecast has it happening off and on all week long.  I'm awake early, yet again this morning, 5 am to be exact.  Actually, my mind has been up and whirring around since about four.  My bladder started all this wake up stuff, then Clayton wanted to be fed, and so the mind started it's usual jumping from thought to thought.  I finally gave in with the encouragement of Clayton to "FEED ME" and got up.  

Coffee and protein bar in hand I go to my home studio to do the first run through of emails, blogs and Facebook.  The first image on FB was my friend Cindy's face with her husband Steve.  I met Cindy a few years ago at a local blog meet-up here in Tulsa, along with the oldest daughter.  We sat at the same table and had a really nice conversation.  We started reading each others blogs and come to find out had a lot of friends in common around here.  She and her husband then started using our electrical contracting services and last Christmas they stopped by our new office digs where she purchased one of my paintings.  The nicest people.  Well, on Thursday I saw on FB under her page a link to CaringBridge and knew that was NOT good.  I logged in to read their recent journey into the world of cancer.  I have been out of touch on her blog and did not realize they, Steve, had been battling cancer.  She posting on CaringBridge all that they had gone through the past year and then yesterday he passed away.  Shocked, SHOCKED.  How do you do that, how do you say goodbye.  My heart breaks for her and she seems to be dealing but I know she is devastated.  

This brings me to our right hand guy Ben and his wife Jamie.  Jamie has been battling stage 4 ovarian cancer for the past 2 long years, very courageously.  They have done radiation, chemo, experimental treatments and traveling to beat this, or at least let her live long enough to meet her first grandchild in July.  Tuesday, her birthday, they traveled the last time to Oklahoma City to talk to her doctors, she made the decision that enough was enough.  That evening, at a birthday celebration for her they told the family that the battle was over.  She is tired and had run out of any steam to fight this losing battle.  Not even the prospect of seeing sweet Aiden make his appearance into this world is enough for her anymore.  Jamie has been a tower of strength and courage in her fight going to work every day, even through all the horrible chemo.  Ben came in the office early Wednesday morning and he and The Hubby talked about it all.  The Hubby said Ben could hardly hold it together.  Oh my gosh, how do you prepare to say goodbye to your partner, your soul mate, your life.  

Seeing what Ben has been going through and my recent scare has made The Hubby very attentive and appreciative towards me lately.  It has scared the hell out of him that our lives are so precious.  Now all he talks and thinks about is retirement.  Well, I am ready but he says another 5 years.  I want to enjoy life NOW!  Not wait till this and that is paid off.  I want to not have to rush out of the house for this and that.  I want to paint, sleep in (good luck with that), to read, to fish, to travel, to play with Rio...I'm READY to begin our golden years early.  Life is too short.