The Final Goodbye

This lady, oh this lady will be sorely missed.  The past couple of days have been a whirlwind of activity as we prepared to bid our final farewells.  Yesterday was her funeral and a beautiful funeral it was.  The boys, her boys put it all together and picked out the flowers, her outfit and coffin.  It was stunning and she looked beautiful.  Lots of pink.  Pink coffin, pink dress and the coffin spray were pink and dark pink roses that draped over the lid.  She would have been so very pleased.  

The boys spoke, each sharing a story showing her strength, tenacity, her drive to protect and survive.  They were funny stories and showed us how she was always able to smile even though she struggled to take care of those rowdy boys and raise them up to be the wonderful men they are today.  

Our two girls each spoke eloquently about their beloved Mimi.  Their words made me so proud.  Their bond with their Mimi was evident in their words and the love they espoused brought me to tears.  It was just a beautiful service to celebrate the life and an amazing woman.  

After the service everyone was invited to come to our house to share a meal of one of her favorites, spaghetti and lasagna.  I ordered Olive Garden and it was delivered hot and yummy.  The food was devoured as everyone enjoyed visiting from near and far.  Cousins flew in and it ended up being a mini reunion.  How wonderful to see everyone and tell the stories we loved most about this mighty woman.  

So now, we carry on, disperse her belongings to family and tidy up the loose ends of her life.  We will share tears and stories as the hearts heal a bit more everyday.  For me it has reopened that last wound so fresh from losing Daddy so recently.  I may not have sobbed but I've cried silent tears for the losses.  She was a mother to me and I feel that loss.  The past couple of nights I wake up to make one of my many trips to the bathroom but getting back to sleep takes a couple of hours because she is all I think of.  Her last moments of happiness seem to be on my mind a lot.  Last night I told The Hubby that I have two last memories of her but I chose to discard one and keep the other.  

That fateful day, Easter Sunday the one I toss aside is the moment of the stroke.  I, instead remember her sitting at the kitchen table at lunch eating her plate of ham, potato salad, green beans, shoving it all together with her beloved roll into a lump, never minding if it is all mixed up.  That is how she ate everything.  If there had been Jello and mashed potatoes on that fork she loved it.  She ate with gusto that day and drank several small glasses of pink wine, laughing and oohing and awing over sweet Min calling her Mimi for the first time.  She was at her happiest at that moment sitting across from me at that table.  I chose that memory to hold onto.  I didn't go to the hospital to see her, I didn't look at her in the casket.  I just do not want to have that be my last picture in my mind.  I choose the vision of her across that table.  

I love you Gloria as my mother-in-law, my mother.  

 

Saying Goodbye

Yesterday I attended a memorial/funeral service.  Daddy's bestie, Jay passed away February 1 but because of Covid they had to wait to schedule his service until February 27.  It was a sweet, short, simple service.  Jay was Navy in his early years so they had the color guard there, two of them.  Since it was in a church there wasn't the full regalia that is sometimes a part but they did walk to the front of the room, saluted and taps played.  That ALWAYS gets me, so tears formed.  Then they took the folded flag off of the mock coffin (he was interred that morning) and unfolded the flag, turning it to the room to show then they slowly folded the flag again, saluted again, then walked the flag to Dino (Jay's son) and handed it to him, saluting again.  It was simple and beautiful and of course, tears.  

This family goes back in my memories to the very beginning.  Momma, Daddy, Jay and Helen always got together to play cards, pinochle.  Dino I think was my brother's age and their daughter was my sister's or younger.  The parents would play cards until very late in the night so they would put down pallets for us to go to sleep then be taken home later.  I can remember making tents with the sheets and one time Dino kissed me, my very first kiss.  Oh gosh, I always had a crush on Dino, think deep down I still do, but really he's more a brother to me.   The very first tattoo I ever saw was on Big Jay's arm.  I was fascinated by it and probably never saw another one until I was well into adulthood.  

Yesterday when I walked in the building the very first person I saw was Dino.  Even though we were masked I recognized him immediately and he said, "Hi Beautiful!"  Oh goodness, I can't lie, my heart fluttered a bit, but really it was love for a good guy, for a good family.  Big Jay had a giant heart to anyone he met always hugging and kissing you on the mouth, even my Daddy every time they parted.  It was so sweet.  Sadly that kissing is probably what took Jay's life because he died from complications of Covid.  I've known several people that have had Covid and survived but he's the first person that I knew who passed away.  Breaks my heart.  

The service went on with a heartfelt message from one of Dino's best friends then a scripture and a slide show.  Goodness, those photos took me back to the young years, the Jay that is so vivid in my memory and his wife Helen.  She was a beauty.  Helen passed away shortly before Momma from COPD, like Momma.  (DAMN smoking!)  There was one photo that showed Daddy, Jay, Dino, my brother, my EX-brother-in-law, and another guy, the bowling team.  Gosh, more tears.  My mask was getting soggy because I didn't have a tissue.  After that I wanted to say goodbye to Dino and waited my turn.  He grabbed me in a bear hug and started sniffling.  I told him to please keep in touch because we are family.  He then did the Big Jay thing and kissed me full on the mouth, of course with masks on...LOL.  

Goodbye Jay

Goodbye Daddy

Goodbye Momma

Goodbye Helen

 

Memories

Here we are not even 7 days since Daddy left us and soooooo much has transpired.  We've already been through his house and tossed TONS of junk, broken junk, expired junk...just junk gone.  Everyone I think has picked what they wanted and now we deal with the leftover.  It's sad that's all he left us but when you live to the ripe old age of 85, well, that is it.  There are simple memory things and that we have squirreled away in our minds, stuff is just stuff, we have memories.  Memories of camping at the lake, memories of playing music together and singing, memories of laughter, memories of memories.  Stuff is just stuff.

Funerals in the time of Covid.  So sad you can't hug cousins you haven't seen in over 30 years.  

Wise words spoken for a man he truly admired and loved.

Our fantastic family.  

A Final Goodbye

Yesterday we said our final goodbyes.  A sad day for sure but we all know that Daddy is no longer hurting and miserable.  He was in pain from his knees, his belly and his broken heart.  He missed Momma every single day and now he is with her and we are glad he is with her again.  

The ray a of light in all this was having all the grandchildren and great grandkiddos all together once again.  The BEST grouping of babies I've ever seen.

I also saw a lot of cousins that we haven't seen in probably 30+ years.  Boy are we old!  It was wonderful to have the support of old friends and family, ours and Daddy's.  His best friend hobbled to the gravesite and even spoke a few words.  They loved each other like no other and were friends from childhood.  The Hubby spoke and his words were healing.  His own father had his own demons and so he leaned on my father to help guide him a bit.  They had a special bond of their own.  

Oh, Daddy had his, let's say, quirks, but he was loving, he loved us three, loved his children with a passion.  No one is given a guidebook on how to raise children, discipline, how to love them, we all make mistakes, sure we do, but Daddy LOVED us and that is what mattered.  We move on, carry on with our lives and love our babies and their babies.  Life moves foward.