A Couple of Things

This little guy. The weekend we realized that he was doing his weird licking thing and had a bad smell coming from his mouth again.  When he yawned on Sunday I saw that under his tongue was the tumor, back again for round two.  It wasn't as large as the last one that hung out of his mouth but it was definitely back.  Monday morning I called Dr. P and he said bring him in first thing yesterday and they would get it again.  I was scared all weekend thinking that we were just going to hear it was time to let him go but the vet said let's go for it.  So yesterday he got in there and it wasn't near as big but it was affecting two teeth that were loose and falling out and he pulled them along with taking the tumor again.  Dr. P said he is losing more tongue this time too.  I was afraid Clayton wouldn't be able to eat but last night he went in and drank out of his bowl and lapped up some very wet canned food.  That was encouraging.  He was on his pallet on the floor in the living room about 12:30 when I heard him cry.  I jumped up and went in there to check on him, took him outside to potty then put him in bed with us.  That is what he wanted.  He plopped right down and never moved all night long.  Between The Hubby snoring and Clayton snoring, well, sleep was a bit lacking but that's okay, I'll catch up.  At least he's home and we have him for a bit longer.  Dr. P also said that he x-rayed his lungs expecting that the melanoma had spread but they were clear and all the nodules in his neck are too.  That is good.  

I also visited with a friend yesterday talking about all that is going on, especially with me and she proceeded to say I wasn't depressed as much as she was.  She is going through some stuff with family too but she really negated my feelings and that honestly made me very mad.  How dare she say I wasn't depressed.  REALLY!  How does she know what is on my mind that is affecting me in my everyday life.  I know I'm not bad depressed but I am feeling those feelings again and they will get better, I feel that, but don't brush off my feelings like they don't matter.  Good grief.  I've had a rough year, WE'VE all had a rough year compounded with the loss of Daddy, my health (pain), work, and all I'm going through, I have a right to feel what I feel.  Pissed me off.  

Clayton Update and NY's Resolutions?

Life with this poor guy is getting better, thank goodness.  I was able to send a video of him to our vet yesterday and this morning will go in and pick up some more meds for him and see what the vet thought.  I don't know if there is anything we can do or do I need to bring him in for an exam, or maybe some laser treatment.  I'm very afraid he has another kind of cancer possibly in his neck/throat area.  Why I question this is that our whining-barking dog has ceased whining or barking.  He occasionally does it but before these recent episodes it was constant, bark to get up on the couch, bark to get down, bark to go outside, bark to go inside, bark to beg for food...now, crickets mostly.  I do know the area where he is most in pain when it happens is the neck-shoulder area.  Poor guy.  Of course when he's good and better he's real good.  Sunday evening it was steak night and he was begging for a bite and barking for his after dinner treat, running, yes RUNNING to the laundry room where treats are.  It's like nothing is wrong with him all of a sudden.  Yesterday I was giving him his pill in cheese and I thought he was awake but clearly he wasn't all the way awake and he snapped, HARD on my thumb.  Then he yelped and had a spasm.  It's all very confounding what is going on with him, hence the video to the vet.  I need more video.

Yesterday I finally went back to working out.  We (Af and myself) tried it in November with her trainer but that was short as the trainer was possibly exposed to Covid so we all went into quarantine until negative tests were had.  Now the new year has begun and it's back to what I know I must do.  My body is KILLING me and I have a doctors appointment at the end of the month!  It is painful and because I have the issues with my knees, hips and being so overweight, it will be a long process.  I have to push through.  I also decided to give the damn NOOM app another try.  Last time I paid for it and good grief the text messages and emails NAGGING me set my teeth on edge.  I have enough of that with The Hubby and my own conscience going on.  This time I'm just using the free version to log my food, watch what goes in my mouth and My Fitness Pal with the trainer.  I know I can do this.  Yesterday when we were done with workout I went home to have lunch because I KNOW that fast food is a weakness for me and I'm trying to avoid.  During workout I remembered I had a frozen pack of quinoa with chopped veggies in the freezer.  I decided to over-easy a couple of eggs and top the quinoa and let the ooey-gooey drizzle over the quinoa.  OMG, so very yummy and satisfying.  I will do it again today and tonight will be salmon and chard for dinner.  Last night was roasted chicken breasts and broccoli with a 1/2 cup of dressing.  It's going to have to be a meal at a time.  Tomorrow night I will have pot roast, onions, carrots and maybe a small potato.  

It's all about planning the stuff.  Typically on Thursday nights we have some sort of takeout, high end food.  We might do Saffron, Mediterranean Cuisine.  They have a chicken dish with a saffron rice that I cannot get enough of.  Of course I will then have to think of Friday and Saturday night.  OMG, meal planning is getting old but I've done it for a few years now, nearly 45 for that matter.   

Happy New Year's

A very quiet New Year's we had this year, but not without drama.  We scooted off to the cabin on Thursday afternoon with Snicklefritz on board for a weekend of absolutely nothing but laughter, a warm fire, lot's of playing Uno or Connect 4 and reading.  Oh and a little beauty shop.  I learned to make a fishtail braid on her beautiful hair.  We enjoyed a bit of black-eyed peas for good luck and she said that usually she doesn't like them but that this time they weren't that bad.  Good luck for us in 2021 hopefully.  

Sadly the time was not without the drama or exhaustion.  Our little Clayton, oh this guy.  He is really having a rough time.  Remember he had been having been having those spasms and we upped his meds to help and he truly got better, was sleeping and not having them quite as bad.  Well, bad me decided that maybe cut back again, WRONG MOVE doggie mom!  Oh man, he started having the spasms so bad again on Thursday and the weekend was horrible with him not being able to sleep because of them and wondering around at night causing me not to sleep.  You see we have stairs down to the garage and because he can't see that well and his body contorting and trying to stand on 3 legs I was terrified he would fall down them.  So every movement he made or yelp I was up and once before I could move fast enough, sure enough he was on the edge.  Scared me to death.  The stairs are right next to the door that goes outside and he knows to go outside.  Sleep was not in the cards for me this weekend and it was starting to effect me.  I told The Hubby yesterday that it would be better for us to head to town where he could go outside by himself and wonder to his hearts desire in the house.  I think the wondering around helps to get the spasm to settle down.  

We packed up after a hearty breakfast and headed home.  As it turned out we were needed in town to watch the other little lady in our lives, Min.  A grand time was had by the girls, they so love each other and it's easy to watch her with Snicklefritz around.  They play and play and play.  We did have an accident with a bump to Clayton while he slept on the floor.  Anything that startles him sends him into an episode and screaming and yelping.  He was screaming and yelping and it scared little Min so she started crying and screaming.  EEK!  When he has them so bad I either soothe him while he is on his bed or scoop him and he snuggles in my neck.  Poor guy, all day long I kept thinking we are going to have to "do something," if you get my meaning.  Worried me all day long.  That being said I started the meds back on every 8 hours again.  Last night The Hubby brought him to bed because he wanted to but it didn't last long because he got restless and wanted down again.  I put him down and just went to sleep and he didn't wake me up until about 1:30 when we heard him him screaming/yelping in the living room.  I ran in there and soothed him and he went back to sleep not to wake again until 5:30 when I heard the family three-legged limp into our room.  I got up, fed him, and went back to bed not to hear from him until about 7:30.  He seemed to be just fine, not all crooked and in pain.  Thank goodness.  It's funny how he rallies from these episodes.  I need to make a vet appointment now that I have some video of his episodes to show the vet.  

Happy New Year everyone, more tomorrow on my journey to TRY TO LOSE THIS DAMN WEIGHT!  It is the new year, resolutions and all. 

 

Snow, Snicklefritz and Crocheting

Snow...SNOW...snow...

This past weekend we jetted away to the cabin, The Hubby, me and Snicklefritz.  She had been out of in-person school 10 days so safe to be around again.  They've yet again gone back to virtual school and I think I heard this morning that will be until the first of  February, so MORE GRANDDAUGHTER TIME!!!  The Hubby was spending the last part of Friday and most of the day Saturday doing a landscape lighting job for one of the cabinites so it was just me and Snicklefritz.  We played Go Fish, Uno and she brushed and styled my hair a multitude of times (I love it.)  Then I told her I wanted to teach her how to crochet.  She's 8 years old and has great dexterity and a great mind so I knew she could get it.  First up was how to tie a slip-knot which she got really quick.  Then it was to a chain.  She chained and chained and chained until it was about 3 feet long...LOL.  I had her pull it out several times to get better and better, practice makes perfect.  Then when I felt she could move on we tackled the single crochet.  Oh it was messy and a bit lopsided but she was getting it for sure.  I was so proud of her and praised her many times.  Her momma said that once home she got frustrated and ripped it all out.  I hope she continues to work on it more.  It just takes practice to really get a feel to how the stitches are supposed to work.  Will have her over again soon and we will take it on again.  I suggested to her Momma that YouTube would have some videos for beginning crochet for children, I was sure.  

The weather forecast called for snow early Sunday morning so we hit the road back to Tulsa a little after 8:30 and it was raining but by the time we were pulling out of the drive the snow was splattering the windshield in huge wet snowflakes.  Before we could get off the back roads it was getting pretty slushy but I knew the highway would be better.  It wasn't much better and we drove slow and careful to get back to town.  OMG, that snow was just stunning to watch.  Of course driving back we were driving right into the blowing stuff.  Looking out at the trees Snicklefritz said, "Granny look how pretty the forest is!"  She was mesmerized.  It was quite beautiful but I want to get home safe and sound.  Normally I would be on pins and needles but you know something I was not scared one tiny bit.  That is really unusual for me.  I seem to have lost a lot of the fear that has always been buried in my gut.  Don't get me wrong, driving on mountainous roads...NO F.....in' way!  Hate those still and they will put me in a panic attack.  I can't even watch videos of driving on them without nearly getting breathless.  YUCK!  But we did get home and it was nice to watch it come down all nice and snug in our warm house. 

Sadly we were without our little Clayton.  When we were loading up the car on Friday afternoon there was something wrong with him.  The Hubby put him in his carrier and as he carried him out to the truck he cried and whined like you wouldn't believe.  We called the vet and they had us bring him in and we left him in their capable hands to see what was going on. 

It was kind of nice not having to constantly have to get up and down to let him in and out all weekend but we sure missed the little guy.  The Hubby picked him up yesterday afternoon.  They wanted to give him a bath first and I suspect it was probably because he fell in his pee or poop.  This tripod leg thing, well, his balance is struggling.  We got him home and he was still crying and now he's all stove-up in his neck.  He keeps having spasms in his neck and back.  I'm sure that one front leg is tired of carrying all the weight and with this cold snap his arthritis is kicking in big time.  I'm not sure they gave him any of his arthritis medicine the whole time he was in there which means we have to let it kick in again.  Last night he whined a bit and couldn't get comfortable in bed, kicking me most of the night.  I got up at 2:30 and took him outside to pee.  I got up at 3:00 and took him outside to pee.  I AM TIRED GUYS!  I'm not meant for an infant anymore.  I dozed back off about 5, just in time for my alarm to go off...  The Hubby put him on our bed again while I was in my chair in the bedroom and when I went to get him off the bed and in the living room (he can't fall off of our very tall bed, it would kill him!) he cried and tried to bite me.  Oh this poor baby is in such pain and he keeps having these spasms that sends him almost standing on his back legs and falling over.  It's hard to watch and I hope by tonight or tomorrow it will be better.  I don't know how much NOT SLEEPING I can take...Today...NAP!