Saying Goodbye

Happy 4th of July

(Max and his Granny, what a darling little boy)

The past weekend was one of the quietest 4th's we have had in many years.  Because of all the rig-a-ma-role that goes into taking Max or even two children anywhere they stayed home for the weekend festivities as did B&B2 and Snicklefritz.  I missed them but honestly I really enjoyed the quiet, or as quiet as it can be on the 4th at the lake.  I NEEDED the rest.  I'm still hacking and coughing up crap and this morning sneezing my head off.  I think it's allergies and took a Zyrtec to help, I hope.  I REALLY don't need another rebound illness to descend on me.  I'm sleeping nearly 8 hours every night now and before it was at best 6 hours.  I think my body, at 67 years young, is saying SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, or I'm going to fight you!

Sunday we headed back to town and went to my brother and sister-in-law's to celebrate the life of Dana.  It was quite wonderful with a meal and family on what was one of the most pleasant weather days for July.  I know some were thinking that we didn't do the memory walk just right but it was my sister and her family, hell, my family and we are just not like that kind of thing.  We don't do the touchy-feely kind of thing and frankly, it was Dana.  Memories, good memories, are kind of hard to bring up with it comes to Dana and have to be honest here, most of my childhood I hated my sister.  Didn't help I shared a room and a bed until I got married and left home at age 19.  We became friends after her marriage and then divorce.  She was a great aunt to my girls and they loved her dearly, but face it she was mostly a mess.  Dana was extremely opinionated and used the word FUCK like it was everyday language.  I had issues with how she raised her children, she was a horrible pet parent (she failed miserably at that), and basically how she saw life, but SHE WAS MY SISTER and I did love her.  We are each individuals and she certainly was.  We were extremely different people, and if you met both of us you would not be able to figure out that we were raised in the same house by the same parents.  But, she was my sister, and I DID LOVE HER.  Life moves on.  I spent most of the weekend dreading Sunday.  I was on the verge of tears most of the day but honestly Sunday worked for me and allowed me to get past that.  It was good to be with family.

Still Reeling

Memories

My eyes popped open about 5 this morning and I was immediately thinking about Dana.  Tomorrow will be day 7 since she left this earth and goodness I do miss her.  It's funny that as much as I was always angry with her, when we were children I loved he wholeheartedly and feel like a hole has been opened in my heart.  My brother texted me on Friday just to check in, he's feeling it too.  I told him it felt like we had amputated an arm.  It's a weird feeling to know you can't call her or text her anymore.  You won't hear her awful rants you hated anymore, now I miss.  Dana was who she was unapologetically.  She really was an open book, no holds bar kind of person.  I feel like crying at any second and when I see my brother on Sunday the dam may break open.  We are having a small family get together at their house Sunday afternoon to just be family and remember.  I look forward to seeing family, yet dread seeing family.  It's weird.  

We are still in a bit of a holding pattern with our family drama.  Still have a huge tree limb on our house, hopefully to be removed on Thursday.  They are still without cars, sort of, and are driving my car to OKC because it is reliable.  Luckily they have friends that have lent them two cars for town driving.  We didn't want them to drive them to OKC as we don't know the cars and transporting babies, just want them all safe.  Supposedly, Max is to be released tomorrow (Tuesday) but we've heard that before.  He is doing great, giggles, laughing out loud, trying to roll over and even attempting the crawling stance.  He needs to come home, NOW!  They need to get some semblance of normalcy back into their lives, so do we.  

We escaped to the cabin this weekend, a much needed escape.  We have both been so very sick that we were in great need of peace and quiet to heal.  Last night is the first night I did not cough all through the night.  We have been sick for 3 solid weeks, I think catching a couple of different bugs or what had been floating around in our house that was filled to the brim people.  

Today I have a brighter outlook as the house was empty and quiet.  Baby Max is hopefully coming home.  Lives are getting back to a sort of normal.