Thursday, June 26, 2008


I'm depressed, I'm sad and just in the dumps this week. I miss my Momma. I miss my best friend. I'm lonely. I feel I'm at the bottom of emotions this week. I don't know what has set me off but probably I have never gotten over the immense loss of the two in a few short months 2 years ago.

Yesterday I tried to get hold of a few people to go to lunch with no luck. My cell phone has not rung all week long except for my daughters. I am lonely for friends. I miss my friends. I miss someone to talk to everyday or so.

Tonight The Hubby and I went out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, The Garlic Rose. {On a side note the group Hanson came in and sat at a table within eye shot.} On our way to the restaurant The Hubby asked what was wrong and I told him, "I'm missing Momma and Gail", but the words were choked. I just couldn't get them out. I was emotionally raw. We talked about it a little at dinner and he seemed understanding. After dinner we decided to run through Utica Square to check out the band and the people. As luck would have it we found a great parking spot and walked over to the band and people area, LOTS of people. It was so very hot I could hardly stand it. I was wearing my jeans and socks and tennis shoes, not the wardrobe for standing in the sun and sweating. Since I had sweat buckets this morning I was not in the mood to sweat again. The Hubby kept hounding me to dance but I was not in the mood. I was not going to dance and shake my bootie in front of all of Tulsa, especially feeling as depressed as I was, AND sweaty. Finally, after standing there for an hour I was able to convince him to leave, but he was giving me crap for not dancing. He said he thought dancing might be the perfect remedy for my depression. WHAT! Really. I don't think so. I know he loves dancing but I don't. He said that making my husband happy might be a nice thing to do and I told him that I was going to concentrate on making ME happy first. It pissed him off but I don't care. It is NOT about him. It is about me for once. I'm tired of knuckling under what The Hubby wants. It is my turn to be happy and dancing is not going to cut it. Dancing...Bah humbag!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hugs to you. Sometimes it just hits you out of nowhere it seems. Take time for yourself. I hope tomorrow is a brighter day.
*West Coastie*