Monday, October 30, 2017


Our sweet little Clayton is a very sick boy.  After a night of vomiting and pacing, ALL NIGHT LONG, I took him to the vet on Friday morning first thing.  
This is the second time in 2 weeks that I have met them opening the clinic with Clayton in my arms.  I left him in their capable arms hoping to find out what is wrong with our boy.  I waited till about noon then called to see if the vet had been able to see what was going on with him.  

Pancreatitis!  Our poor baby.  The vet said that he was still vomiting bile and had added diarrhea to the equation.  Luckily that was at the vet, yuck.  Since we were heading to the cabin for the weekend I thought it best he spend the weekend at the vet to get the specialized care he needed and the vet agreed.  But, I can tell you I sure miss him.  Here it is Monday morning and I have to wait till after nine today to check on him and hopefully bring him home.  He will definitely have a new diet and NO BITES FROM THE TABLE!  The Hubby said when he came to live with us that we would not feed him human food but you know who has broken that rule, time and time again, THE HUBBY!  I've tried to tell him that but he's like a kid and doesn't listen to me, maybe now he will.  Those little bites of food are not good for this guys tummy. 

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Another Day of Sadness

My day this morning (should say yesterday morning) as it is 1:30 a.m. that I am writing this.  I got up early, 4:30 in fact because my carpel tunnel was driving me nuts.  Since I was up I decided to work on another gallery application.  That kind of done I decided to clean the kitchen, really scour and do a load of sheets.  Feeling accomplished it was out the door to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions and get a flu shot then gas up the car to head to Daddy's.  I was on deck to be there when the home health care nurse came to see him.  I have to preface this that the day before Sister told me that he drove his car (not supposed to yet or he looses his home health care) to get gas SO he could mow his yard on his brand spanking new riding lawnmower.  

I've been paying his bills for him and keeping track in Quicken on his laptop since his handwriting is so bad.  I was in the middle of balancing his checkbook on the computer when I casually mentioned that Sis said he drove to the convenience store.  He said just to the store around the corner.  I said that he shouldn't tell the home health care lady about that.  He went off, AGAIN, saying I was treating him like a child, that he wasn't stupid that he knew what to say and what not to say.  He was yelling at me.  I sat there blinking and tears filling my eyes.  I told him to stop yelling at me or I was not going to come back.  Then he got up to do something and I continued what I was doing while crying.  I nearly got up and left right then but I knew I needed to stay.  

The HHC lady came and noticed I was upset.  He totally jumped up from his chair and was answering questions and acting like he's all better and doing great, which he really is doing well.  When she was done and left boy Daddy was oh so sweet asking questions about my studio, being oh so kind, NOT!  I said I had to go to the office and I high-tailed it out of there.  

I am absolutely heartbroken by his attacks.  I texted my Bro and Sis and told them what happened for the 2ND TIME!  Sis said he feels like I am trying to take away his independence.  WHAT THE HELL!  I just want what's good for him and safe and safe for the public.  For goodness sake the man has had strokes and should not be driving but I never said he couldn't.  I just don't understand why he keeps going after me.  I have cried so many tears today and am so very sad.

Now we are in the middle of the night and I just dozed off to sleep and then our sweet dog, Clayton is sick, AGAIN, like he was a couple of weeks ago.  Itching like crazy and vomiting and vomiting.  Last time I had him at the vet and the poor guy had hives.  No hives this time but his poor tummy.  He is pacing and pacing and wants to go outside to eat plants and promptly come inside to throw it all up on my floor.  Why is he doing this at night.  Last time he was eating my lemon grass plant but the vet said it wouldn't hurt him.  He's again eating that plant and that is not fun for him to get rid of or me to clean up, several times.  Tonight I turned off his doggy door but that poses another problem where goes to the door and barks to go outside.  Dang it.  So twice now I've turned off the alarm and walked around the yard with him with a flashlight and not allowing him to eat stuff.  He's eating my pansies too and I've had those in the yard for several years now.  

I'm sleepy, exhausted, mentally and now physically. We are in my room with the door shut.  He is pacing, itching and faux throwing up, and I'm typing, wishing for a good nights sleep that is not going to happen.  I had planned to spend the day at my easel but I have an idea that's not going to happen.  No sleep makes a shaky paintbrush.  

Saturday, October 14, 2017

My Week

This week has been full, it's been emotional and BUSY!  I finished this lovely painting and plan on putting it in a judged show next month along with the next two.  I am immensely proud of these paintings and feel I've come to the next level in my artistic travels.  Next month they will be at The Hive in Jenks.  This month I have five paintings there for a show.  It's a great venue and you OUGHT to go sometime and check it out.  
"Oren's Flowers" 30x24 oil

"Jara's Tulips" 24x24 oil

"Picnic" oil

Today I deliver these skull paintings to The Cottage Gallery for a Skulls show, a prize money show!!! 

I've been hiding away actually in my studio.  Monday was a good day, and not so good.  I got up knowing I was to meet three old high school friends for breakfast and was really looking forward to it, but first was a stop to see my father in the nursing home he is at for his rehab after yet another stint in the hospital.  I'm not sure if I've written about it but he really came close to leaving this earth this time around, and he just does not get it.  Anyway, I went in knowing that Daddy had laid into my brother the day before, wanting to go home.  I knew, KNEW that when he would be feeling better, not good enough to really go home, but good enough that he would be itching to leave and head home to his chair and his cat.  Sure enough he went after my brother.  Bro walked out.  So going in on Monday morning I was ready, or so I thought.  I saw Daddy sitting in the commons area where the residents gather for their meals.  He was sitting with two lovely ladies that he has struck up a friendship with.  I sat down and said, "Hi Daddy." He quickly introduced me as his oldest daughter then he turned and started in on me yelling and banging his hand on his walker.  I was stunned even though I thought I was ready.  He yelled and glared at me and said, "I'M GOING HOME TODAY!" I told him that he was going to stay until he was ready, that he always goes home too soon and then rebounds because he went home too soon.  I told him that this was the third (maybe fourth) time since May he has been in the hospital and he was going to stay until the doctor said go, not him.  He glared and hammered on the walker and yelled again.  I told him he was going to have to quit yelling at me and Bro, that was not acceptable, that we were only trying to help him, that we love him.  That he was acting like a child and was going to stay.  He yelled and whammed his hand again.  I was so embarrassed and was crying and his table mates were whispering to me they were sorry.  His hollering made me realize that he thought we had brought him there to STAY!  Far from it.  I said, "Daddy, when the doctor signs the papers for you to go home, then I will take you home!" He stopped but not before I was so very, very hurt by his words.  His breakfast came, he turned around to eat and I told him I had to go to meet friends and he said "BYE" while eating, I left.  Here it is Saturday morning and I have not been back.  I'm still very hurt and frankly I'm embarrassed to even look him in the eye.  I don't want to face him and probably won't until he goes back home.  You can blame it on his older age, but in reality, that is the old Daddy, one I've seen many times in my life and you cannot blame it on his age, AT ALL!  I then found out that on Thursday my brother got a call from the place that said come quick.  Daddy was railing after someone about going home, that they said he was supposed to be released.  When he goes off, it is not good.  Sis was in the mix too.  Bro got there and figured out (and I told him Daddy only hears what he wants to hear) that he was to be released.  He neglected to glean on the words "released TUESDAY!" He only heard released and he went after that.  Bro let him rail and then said, "Are you through," then went on to explain.  That seemed to settle all of them down, then he left to go back to work.  Bro was in a good place with Daddy up until all this, now he's back to square one.  Daddy can be mean, always could, with words and THOSE EYES!  Scary stuff.  

Monday after the horrible visit I went on to meet three old high school friends and I didn't want it to happen but when I saw Pat and hugged her neck I broke down.  
I just sobbed.  Luckily, they are great friends and it felt good to vent. Pat is a doctor and she told me some stuff that I need to be on the look out for for Daddy.  First he should not even be on any kind of statin drugs at his age!  Second, he needs to find a gerontologist for his care.  Not sure if we can make that happen as Daddy LOVES his stupid doctor, and his stupid care is partly why we are here today.  

Sorry to vent, really, it's just been one of those weeks.

Tuesday, October 03, 2017

Life Goes On

It is done, all is done.  I finished the 30 day painting challenge.  It's been posted on the Strada Easel page and Leslie Saeta, artist page.  Whew.  Yesterday I think I hit a downer kind of feeling that I was done and hit a wall.  Planning on the party for Gloria, painting everyday, Daddy and his health, I was at a loss what to do with myself.  Exhaustion was part of that equation and ended up sleeping most of the afternoon.  
It didn't help with all the news on about the events in Las Vegas, Tom Petty passing and my Aunt Sharon's husband of over 30 years passing away.  Life is short peeps.  Make hay while you can and today it is back to the easel, well after work, delivery of paintings for a show (then installation), then maybe I can put paint to canvas.  Life is busy yet again.