Tuesday, October 27, 2020


The house has been emptied. Emptied of everything.  Not a dust bunny, well, maybe one or two of those are left.  My nephew and a couple of his friends went to town and filled this dumpster.  Honestly The Hubby nor I thought we needed this large dumpster but it was only like $10 more for the month so we did it.  Thank goodness we did.  Can't believe it is so full. 

A few photos and negatives I need to have printed.

When you think you have gone through EVERYTHING you still find more.  The nephew went into the attic, a place we NEVER, EVER went into, except for maybe Brother.  I just never thought of anything being in there, and frankly, there wasn't much except mice bedding!  But...but...but...

As I was going through mostly canceled checks a few newspapers that were pretty chewed up look at this little gem.  
The Hubby found this absolutely fascinating as did I.  The address on the clipping was 1444 N. Denver and of course The Hubby had to go and find the address on Google Earth.  There is a fairly new house on the spot now.  I mean really why did my parents keep this clipping.  Why did they even clip it out of the paper.  Googling you do find a Widipedia article on Nathaniel Reed (outlaw), that he died in 1950 so that must be the date of the clipping, before my parents were  even out of high school. 

Also out of the pile of trash I did find a few negatives and a couple of photos and this little jewel.  It is a baby care book given to my grandma when daddy was born.  He was born at the Flower Hospital that was located on North Boulder in 1935.  

I just love this book and it was in almost pristine condition, considering it is at least 85 years old and in the attic where the mice lived.  The copyright inside said eighth printing, copyright 1936, 1st published 1931.
Don't you just LOVE this artwork!

Not sure if you can read this but one of the things listed to give the baby is cod liver oil and orange juice.  EGAD!  I was born in 1956 and apparently my mother believed in the cod liver oil thing, or at least she listened to my grandmother give that advice.  One day mother decided we three kids needed a huge dose of cod liver oil (she forgot the orange juice part!)  She lined us up, and spoonful after spoonful went into each of our mouths.  What ensued was each of us running to a sink, a toilet or a trash can to THROW UP said cod liver oil.  She never EVER did that again.  

The book was not written in at all but as I thumbed through the pages I found this sweet note written by my daddy to his daddy.  I love it.


Thursday, October 22, 2020

Wow, This Grief Thing

Wow, oh wow.  Today I had to head to the office for a short bit, then the post office, bank, and studio.  Also on the agenda was a trip to pickup groceries and then to Daddy's house.  
The drive down the expressway for some reason I had this grief thing whack me upside the head and I caught myself in tears again.  Don't know where that came from but I'm sure I was running through stuff in my head and realized I was heading to a nearly empty house again.
All these wonderful things that we gave him in his house, the remodel we did a few years ago are gone, he is gone.  That life is gone.
Oh we three kids have taken a few things but the majority of the stuff in the house is gone now.  Salvation Army came yesterday and all the bags of clothing, boxes of kitchen stuff is gone
Now we are left with a lot of dust bunnies, scraps of paper, and the few odd stuff that the SA didn't, wouldn't take.  The couch and one of his chairs are still there because sweet Susie tore them up with her claws.  The garage is full of JUNK and just greasy stuff.  The bedrooms have mattresses and more dust.  We have ordered a dumpster and it will arrive tomorrow and my nephew and his friend will haul off the rest of the stuff that is trash.  He's also going to vacuum, clean, and generally spruce the place up.  He will even clean a wall that has some marks and repaint.  I love this kid.  He has been so helpful and we will pay them for their efforts.  I've even painted his dog and cat with another cat to go for him.  
What we will be left with are memories, good and bad.  We will put the house on the market by the first of next month and it will be gone shortly after.  Life moves on and I have no regrets about what we are doing.  It will just take time to get over the grief of not having a parent anymore, none.  That is kind a scary place to be, you kind of feel lost and flapping in the wind a bit.  I know it will get better, it already has.  You have to move on, move forward with your life, you children, your grandchildren.  Bye Daddy, Bye house, we love you forever.


Sunday, October 18, 2020

Never-Ending Meal Planning

This pandemic thing has amped up my grocery shopping and cooking life like no other.  First of all I feel like I am CONSTANTLY thinking about food.  It's mostly because I don't go inside a store so I have to order and then pick up my groceries, sometimes I have them delivered.  What this means is that I'm in a never-ending meal planning mode.  Yesterday I cleaned out my deep freezer and tossed out most of the bottom of the freezer.  Hated to throw out corn on the cob but it clearly had freezer burn.  I just needed to assess my "stores" in there.  Lo and behold I did find a final fruitcake which we delved into this morning.  There was also a bag of huge blackberries that were good so I made a blackberry cobbler and apple pie because we had guests last night.  I haven't made a good pie in awhile.  

This morning I'm again meal planning, shopping for the week.  I'm having my book club on Wednesday night and the next Wednesday night my birthday girls.  They are small groups, very small and we will dine on our patio with heater going if needed.  It's just time to see them all.  I decided to cook a pot of veggie soup one evening and chili for the next.  I also have to plan on meals that are pretty quick for The Hubby because he goes to dance classes/lessons 2-3 nights a week and needs to be out of the house fairly fast.  All this going on I'm also still working at the office a bit and dealing with my Daddy's house-estate and all that is involved in that.  I've not spent a lot of time at the house this week.  I did go on Sunday and Wednesday to hopefully gather up the last of his stuff to have Salvation Army take it all away on Wednesday.  

Monday, October 12, 2020

Last week was a busy week.  First of all, I sold a painting!!!
About a month ago one of The Hubby's business colleagues found out I was an artist, he collects art, so he came to the studio to check out some of my paintings.  He had his eye set on one in particular but needed to take a minute to think about it and would be in touch.  My thought was he thought my prices too high and he got his curiosity out of his system just looking.  So I was shocked when a little over a month later, out of the blue he contacted me saying he was ready to buy a painting.  WHAT!!!  He came back to the studio and I was under the belief it was for the painting he originally looked at.  Well, no, because when he walked in he was immediately drawn to this one on the wall.  Gosh, I painted it maybe 2009 or 2010...can't remember.  I've always loved it and others have too but it has remained on the wall.  He bought it.  I was shocked and so glad to see it had a new home.  Absolutely made my day, my week, my month.  

We again headed off to the cabin for some R&R and Friday evening it was planned to have a sandwich dinner at the wigwam by the waterfall.  
The evening air was delightful and we socially distanced ourselves while enjoying the company and dinner.  I so love our home away from home and it re-energizes me every weekend to continue on with the tasks at hand for the coming week.

We finally got Daddy's death certificate (hate that I have to even say that.)  I was very concerned that they (the hospital) might try to slip that he died of Covid because he was moved to the step-down floor, ICU, where Covid patients were.  He DID NOT have Covid, tested negative.  My fears were relieved when it basically said his heart stopped with the secondary of the liver and kidney's shutting down.  With the certificate in hand we were able to file for his life insurance, finish banking stuff and permanently forward his mail to my house.  It's all the little things that need to be done that you don't think of.  I also had to send a copy to his credit card to cancel it but can't call to check on that till the end of this week and I have to call his Medical Alert thing either today or tomorrow to make sure they close that account because it is on my credit card.  Lots and lots of phone calls and little things to do, and I guess that is what an executor does, that's me!  

We're still bagging/boxing up Daddy's stuff.  When I leave I feel so dirty and gritty.  There is so much dust in the air and the kitchen is just greasy.  It's hard to believe that just a few years ago, 2009, we completely cleaned out the house to paint, carpet, CLEAN!  
He was just a modern day "pigpen."  Mother was too when she was alive.  Next week we will have the Salvation Army truck come and haul off as much as they want.  There are still a couple of pieces that we are taking to storage but mostly it's just clothes and kitchen stuff that none of us wants.  Then we will do a few touch up painting spots and put the thing up for sale.  Being on Main Street, not a block and a half off of the Rose District it will be a hot commodity and looking forward to see what happens there. Really anxious to get it all taken care of so we can move forward with our lives, Thanksgiving and Christmas and cute grandbabies.  

Sunday, October 04, 2020

Still Moving On

A bit of an update on this little girl.  Little or should I say "fat" Susie is well.  She spent a week at the vet getting all spa-ed with bath, flea dip, brushing, nails trimmed, lots of love and vaccinations.  Poor thing was so stressed with Daddy gone from her world and all the interlopers in her house tearing it apart that she was beside herself.  So some time away was what she needed and a plan on where she would go to live.  My girls were so upset that she might be put with a family unknown to us so the oldest has taken her in, and so far she is acclimating to her new world with a child, two dogs and another cat.  We will see how she tolerates it all.  
Also we were able to salvage these door facings from Daddy's.  They were on the facings that go from the living room to the kitchen and have recorded the growths of my siblings and myself, our children and now the great grandchildren.  We were all distraught that they might be lost forever once we sell the house because it is likely that it will be torn down.  So the bro-in-law, a trim carpenter by trade, took them down and replaced them and you can't even tell they were taken off.  He did a magnificent job.  Forgot to take a photo of the finished product.

We took the week off from the house and all that needs to be done and I took the weekend to go to the cabin on Thursday.  It was cool in the afternoon so I had to have a fire in our new fireplace.  Cheetos and a Blue Moon and I was quite content.  Some of the ladies came over later in the evening to enjoy the fire, day drink a bit and just visit.  Really needed that.
It was honestly a weird weekend but I just enjoyed time away, lots of napping and watching TV.

Saturday I did paint, trying to get the mind in a better place and I think it helped.  The nephew asked if I could paint his dog and two cats and how much.  I told him absolutely no charge but not sure when I could get to them.  So with nothing else to do I started.  

It's only blocked in.  I will finish it next weekend and then begin his kitties.

The drive home was a bit eerie because I took the route I took exactly 2 weeks ago when the hospital called me to let me know Daddy was close to the end.  

I'm still fighting the unreal feeling that both my parents are gone.  I'm just not used to that yet and I miss both of them terribly.  I know Daddy drove us crazy sometimes but I loved him and miss him.

I just took in the scenery and reflected.

Wednesday, September 30, 2020

A day at a time.  Yes it is a day at a time to heal.  It's also a day by day time that you bounce from okay to grief to okay again.  The first part of today was okay and all of a sudden, I'm facing grief again.  I think it's from boredom.  Oh I have stuff do do, but do I feel like doing it, no.  I don't feel like reading, watching TV, cleaning, cooking.  I just want to sit and stare.  I've been down this road before and I do know how to get beyond it but you know, it's only been 9 days.  I'm not going to get on the other side of grief in 9 days.  It will take time, day by day.  This week I've had to work in the office all day Monday, Tuesday and half of the day today and that seemed to keep my mind busy.  Plus I'm juggling some legal stuff with Daddy's trust and his finances.  Canceling credit cards, waiting for death certificates, canceling his paper, dealing with his bank, getting a tax ID, just lots of loose end stuff.  This all helps to keep the mind busy but when I have some down time it catches up.  I will watch Snicklefritz tomorrow then head off the the cabin for a bit of R&R on my splendid screened porch and new fireplace.  Really need that.  I'm hoping to maybe do some plein air painting, I hope just to get the mind going a different direction. 

Sunday we celebrated a bundle of birthdays here, all with masks, outside, safe.  The birthdays celebrated were our oldest, my sister-in-law, mother-in-law, Snicklefritz (tomorrow) and MinMin's Friday.  I thought about canceling it but you just can't cancel kiddo's birthdays and my MIL is 93 today!  You have to celebrate that.  Earlier in the day I was watching some old home movies that our oldest daughter has been working on converting to digital.  I started off with one at my Grandma's and it was inside and then ventured outside (where they could drink as Grandma did not allow alcohol inside) and then all of a sudden in the backyard walking away from the camera with their backs to the camera, there was Grandpa in his wheelchair being pushed by my Uncle Wayne and my Daddy walking beside as they chatted and talked about the yard and Grandpa's rock garden.  Then my cousin, Matthew, Uncle Wayne's son rolled into the photo on his bicycle.  OH MY GOD.....I lost it.  There they were walking away and chatting and it hit me in the face and heart that they were ALL GONE.  Wayne and Matthew too.  It was so poignant and sad and I just couldn't take it.  I was trying to tell The Hubby and daughter later on and I began to cry like I have NEVER cried before.  I had not let loose yet and the flood gates broke.  I still feel like it could happen again but probably not that dramatic. 


Sunday, September 27, 2020


Here we are not even 7 days since Daddy left us and soooooo much has transpired.  We've already been through his house and tossed TONS of junk, broken junk, expired junk...just junk gone.  Everyone I think has picked what they wanted and now we deal with the leftover.  It's sad that's all he left us but when you live to the ripe old age of 85, well, that is it.  There are simple memory things and that we have squirreled away in our minds, stuff is just stuff, we have memories.  Memories of camping at the lake, memories of playing music together and singing, memories of laughter, memories of memories.  Stuff is just stuff.

Funerals in the time of Covid.  So sad you can't hug cousins you haven't seen in over 30 years.  
Wise words spoken for a man he truly admired and loved.
Our fantastic family.  

Saturday, September 26, 2020

A Final Goodbye

Yesterday we said our final goodbyes.  A sad day for sure but we all know that Daddy is no longer hurting and miserable.  He was in pain from his knees, his belly and his broken heart.  He missed Momma every single day and now he is with her and we are glad he is with her again.  
The ray a of light in all this was having all the grandchildren and great grandkiddos all together once again.  The BEST grouping of babies I've ever seen.
I also saw a lot of cousins that we haven't seen in probably 30+ years.  Boy are we old!  It was wonderful to have the support of old friends and family, ours and Daddy's.  His best friend hobbled to the gravesite and even spoke a few words.  They loved each other like no other and were friends from childhood.  The Hubby spoke and his words were healing.  His own father had his own demons and so he leaned on my father to help guide him a bit.  They had a special bond of their own.  

Oh, Daddy had his, let's say, quirks, but he was loving, he loved us three, loved his children with a passion.  No one is given a guidebook on how to raise children, discipline, how to love them, we all make mistakes, sure we do, but Daddy LOVED us and that is what mattered.  We move on, carry on with our lives and love our babies and their babies.  Life moves foward.  

Thursday, September 24, 2020

Happy Birthday to My #1

This kid, THE KID...today we celebrate her.  Today it's her BIRTHDAY!  My life changed forever when she was born and made me a mom.  The most important role in my life was becoming a mom, her Moma.
Wishing her a mighty Happy Birthday today.  I know this week sucks but we must take a minute out of the sucking life to celebrate YOU, you and your life, your accomplishments in this world.
You are making a HUGE mark on this world and I could not be more proud of you.
I love you.....
love you...
love you...
love you...
love you...
love you...
love you...
love you...
Keep taking on the world, you will conquer it!