Tuesday's Musings

Finally a bit of art appeared on my easel!  

"Blue Skies"

8x10 oil on linen

The sunflowers were already started 2 weeks ago so I did finish it, but with having 2 weeks since it was I changed the "way" I was painting it, not nearly so realist but a bit more impressionist.  That done I decided to do Blue Skies really impressionistic.  It felt good to just move paint around, get the cobwebs out of my brain.

"Sunshine"

9x12 oil on linen

I wanted to go on but my momentum and a stomach growl stopped me.  Today it is a brief time at the office and then I PLAN on stepping back to the self portrait thing.  It's a fine balance between my real work and my fun work (painting) and today is that balance in play.  So toodles peeps and will keep you updated as my journey seems to zig and zag a lot. 

Weekend Fun

We scooted off to the cabin this weekend for a bit of R&R.  It was cold and dreary but our fireplace helped take the chill out of the air.  The Hubby always turns the heat down when we leave to 50 so it took a bit to warm up but once we got the fire going I was happy.  Notice the skull!  I bought it on Amazon at Halloween thinking it would burn but realized, after hefting the thing in the front door that it was a concrete skull.  It's kind of cool to see it in the back of the fire.  

We haven't seen our cabinite friends for a bit because it's been too cold to do golf-cart-meadow-day-drinking but this weekend we did see some as the majority of us have had the vaccine, or first part of it.  I'm not too worried about them as they are all at least 68 or OLDER and don't go anywhere at all and in fact some live at the cabin world never leaving their corner of the world.  It was nice to chat at safe distances and share the fire and a cocktail.  

The Hubby and I spent most of Saturday doing nothing but be quiet and read with Clayton snuggled between us on the couch.  I finished a book and started another, napped and journaled.  It was a wonderful weekend.  

Back to it this week with a teeth cleaning first thing this morning and with nothing to do at the office I'm taking advantage and FINALLY getting back to my easel.  I've only been able to be in the studio twice in the past couple of months and I hate that.  To be a good artist you HAVE to paint every day.  Practice makes perfect, much like learning piano or any kind of instrument.  My instrument is a paintbrush and I am lacking in my practice lately.  I'm hoping life can slow down a bit so I can really churn out some art, in particular the self portrait project that seems to have stalled.  I have a history of procrastination and not finishing projects and I DO NOT want this to be one of those.  But when you are working in another business, a self employed business it tends to get in the way.  Plus I was wrapping up Daddy's stuff and that took precedence.  

I'm ready for my life to get back to rolling onward, for spring to come, more time at the cabin, more time at my easel...

 

Vaccine Day 2

 Just a quick note to say I was really sore last night and a couple of Advil then back to bed and this morning feel right as rain.  I was sore yesterday when I got home but I was sore before I left the place.  It was a long line and walking on concrete which my hip and knees cannot handle.  Once in bed and asleep for a few hours I woke up and was very sore.  Actually, both of my shoulders were sore BUT that could also be from doing an upper body workout on Tuesday too and the shot just made it a bit worse.  My knees and hip screamed too but once I took the Advil and hit the pillow again, well, this morning I'm all better.  So we will see what the next few days hold but I suspect nothing but good stuff.

Don't be afraid my friends.  We have vaccinations for good reason.  I've been through chicken pox (have the scars to prove it), measles, hard measles, German measles, mumps, there is not one childhood ailment I haven't had, except polio.  I remember the sugar cube and the terror of polio.  Don't be afraid.  

Vaccine Tale

Guess what happened today!  I know I'm not quite 65 yet but I have some health issues, and I am overweight.  After I signed up and they listed me as tier 4 then I received another email that I was eligible now so I worked at signing up for a few days.  Last night I just kept refreshing and even though it said "no bookings available" I clicked it anyway and lo and behold a whole swath of openings were there and I grabbed one.  The only issue was standing outside for about 5 minutes in a cold wind and then once inside the long winding lines for about 15 minutes.  For normal people that isn't much but an obese person with a messed up hip and knee standing on concrete is excruciating.  BUT, I did it and now in 21 I go for the booster.  Good luck everyone.

 

That Dang Sorrow Thing

Yesterday was CRAZY at the office.  I had to clean up my desk first after The Hubby opened a couple of days worth of mail, or partially opened.  I really wish he would leave that to me.  Some things get confusing and he gets confused.  One of the things was an invoice and it said past due on it.  Of course that set him off thinking I am not doing my job.  Upon checking I did indeed pay the bill and the check even cleared the bank.  It is not my fault but the company who sent the bill.  But this is what happens when he ASS-U-ME-S  that I have messed up.  Plus the desk is a mess once he has gone through all the stuff.  Anyway, I cleared the piles and went through what I needed to and then started on the business selling guys worksheets that I did not finish.  KNEE DEEP in forms, digging in old files, ARGHHHHHH.  I really hate doing this kind of thing but I finally finished then headed to workout, post office, bank and then Daddy's bank to deposit the last refund from the gas company.  Next week I should be able to close his checking.  While driving down the Broken Arrow Expressway I was hit with sadness yet again over the loss.  It's funny that it usually hits me on that drive because I know I won't be going to see him anymore, that our chats are nor more, that I won't be driving in the curvy driveway anymore.  I purposely drove by the place and there is nothing but dark loamy soil all dug up waiting to be smoothed and a new house to be started.  Honestly that didn't bother me as much as the drive.  It will truly take time to get over the sorrow of loss but it will never be truly gone.  Momma and Gail have both been gone for nearly 15 years now and that hurt is still there, just not as sharp a pain as it once was.  I mean it has only been a little over 3 months and a lot has happened in that short span.  

Last night I woke up about 2:30 a.m. and of course I could not go back to sleep.  When I wake up like that lately my mind starts going over all that has happened in those 3 months, 6 months, past year.  2020 was the year from hell, not just for me but for the whole world.  2021 is not starting out much better but hopefully with the vaccine and upcoming spring and summer the future will be brighter.  I'm choosing to look at it that way and it really helps having warmer days and lots and lots of sunshine, at least it makes my mind happy.  

Today, I'm going to TRY to get a slot for a vaccine but if I don't I'm not going to stress as I stay to myself mostly.  Then it is off to the studio finally to work on the floral I started the other day.  Tomorrow I have Snicklefritz all day while she is doing virtual school and her mom is in-person working at her new office.  I help where needed and I'm needed for them.  

 

Neverending Meal Planning!!!

Is anyone else having trouble trying to come up with meal ideas.

Since we are trying to only eat takeout food once during the week THAT means I'm trying to meal plan CONSTANTANTLY.  OMG, this is making me crazy, especially when I'm also trying to diet meal plan.  The photo above is my new obsession of quinoa with vegetables and two over-easy eggs.  Can't seem to get enough of this stuff.  BUT, that's a lunch thing when I'm home.  I need more ideas for to-go food besides a package of lunchmeat.  I want, need to have it easy to grab and go.  I spend so much time on planning dinner that I don't want to think too hard on the lunch options.  But I regress, my problem right now is being creative in dinner planning.  I'm also trying to not eat so much red meat but I left with a lot of chicken and I don't want to have chicken every meal.  I also do try to do salmon once a week too.  Tonight we are going to have crab cakes, tomorrow night spaghetti with salad.  I think Friday we will do peel-n-eat shrimp at the cabin which leaves Saturday night.  I have so many cookbooks you would think I could just cook something out of them but I just don't use cookbooks anymore, which is why I'm getting ready to purge most of them.  I'm just rambling here about food that seems to be constantly on my mind.  You know it's the role of my marriage that I have, the meal prepper and I don't want to do it anymore.  It just makes me want to eat all the time. 

I haven't been, actually, I've been really good last week and so far this week.  But you know what the damn scale has not budged one damn ounce.  I am eating about 1200 calories a day and it is the same every single day I step on it.  What the hell is up with that.  Goodness I have gone off on a tangent.  

I have got to get a move on with my day.

 

Closet Rehab

What can I say, these two are the absolute air I breathe.  This weekend my other two breaths of life came over and helped to clean out the "Christmas closet."  It needed to be cleaned out so that Christmas could go back in the there.  Small spaces with doors, any kind of drawer, boxes or baskets, especially Longaberger baskets are havens for me to stuff crap away, hidden until totally forgotten.  The more space I have to hide stuff, I will hide it.  We have lived in this house now for nearly 15 years, and before, every house we have owned, we have stayed a total of 10 years each.  That means that every 10 years I am forced to purge and I have not had that happen with this house, so closet cleanouts are now an absolute must.  It's not too bad, just a couple of closets and LORDY, my pantry is awful.  Which is why it gets organizational treatment a few times a year.  

Snicklefritz was such a help with the dismantling of Christmas.  The mommas tackled the closet and she and I took down Christmas and stowed away in boxes until next year.  The girls unearthed a huge collection of albums and I sent them home with the oldest since they are the only ones that have a turntable anymore.  There is no sense of them gathering dust, they need to be listened too.  The closet also had a ton of games, never played that will go into the "games" closet in the other bedroom, which will be tackled next.  Also, in abundance was my collection of Longaberger Baskets.  At one time I thought they would be a legacy, college fund for the girls but the value in the things is absolutely NIL and there is no reason I have them anymore.  Oh, I have many that I use throughout the house and I will continue with that, I love them, but the majority will go into the spring garage sale.  I did keep a select few that I will use as gift baskets for friends birthdays or Christmas next year.  I will fill them specifically with special stuff for each person and give them away.  The girls took some they might use, and finally, some of the larger ones I'm taking to the cabin for use.  What I ended up with at the end of the day was a usable cleaned out closet for Christmas and a section/shelf for wrapping and gifts.  I will put a card table in there and already ordered a nice step stool with a seat for the area.  It's a large closet, could almost put a bed in there.  

The evening ended with the oldest heading home with her haul of albums and leaving Snicklefritz to spend the night (I love to have her over.)  The youngest went for Thai food and to pick up her hubby while we got to play with Min.  It was a wonderful evening, it was a magnificent day and I was absolutely exhausted.  Oh on a side note little Min walked up to Clayton (who is much better) and pointed to his eye and then her eye and said, "EYES!"  Good grief words are now going to start falling out of her mouth.  Oh she babbles and you occasionally catch what you think is a form of a word but that one was plain as day.  I LOVE IT! 

 

My Week In Review

Finally got to sit at my easel on Thursday and I'm quite pleased with what I was able to do.

I was going to work on the self-portrait thing but being gone so long I needed to go back to my first love, flowers.  I was also able to finally see my studio partner.  I haven't seen her since probably the first of November.  She and I have been very socially distanced so no worries there and she has her own space and I have mine but it was so nice to sit a ways from each other and catch up on our lives.  I miss my friends and conversation, in person conversation.  

While in this damn pandemic thing I've written before about no workout and the food thing and the diet thing...yadda, yadda, yadda, but here we go again.

This past week I started back with working out with a trainer and Af.  Just us two so that was fun.  I do struggle because of my hip and knees and the weight.  Honestly I haven't gained since this lockdown thing has happened, thank goodness, but it's definitely not gone down.  So a little exercise and I'm also tracking my food on some food apps and sticking to 1,000 to 1,200 calories a day.  I must say it's not been too hard either.  It keeps me focused a bit.  I did the NOOM app, the paid version I think March, just as the world shut down.  I was not in the right frame of mind, scared, stuck at home with food and the television.  The paid version of the app you are put with a support person and frankly, they drove me crazy with texts/emails, nagging me constantly and I don't need that.  I KNOW what I should and shouldn't eat, I don't need someone over my shoulder smacking my virtual hand.  This time I chose to only do the free version and I like it.  Hey, The Hubby had to have KFC last night and I was honest and put it in my app and guess what, I was only about 100 calories over.  I can deal with that.  So far the scale has NOT nudged one ounce down but I know it will eventually because I feel a bit different in the "fat content" in my body every morning.  I just have to keep plugging away with it and trust it will work if I'm careful.  

Before the end of the year at the office I was able to put the PPP loan forgiveness papers to bed with the bank and hopefully that will be all taken care of!  First thing off my plate.  Then I tackled the rest of Daddy's estate and was able to disburse most of it to my siblings and myself.  Now we are just waiting for the ONG refund to totally close out his checking about and disburse the rest of it.  It only a few hundred dollars.  This month is also gathering the year end 4th quarter stuff for the company and I wrapped that up and took to the accountant yesterday!  

Lastly, and the one thing I have fought with The Hubby about time and time again is possibly selling our business.  We are having a battle over that.  This next summer we hope to be done, finished, close the doors and totally retired, hopefully.  After nearly 42 years in business we are both done.  I want to just close the doors, sell off the equipment, tools, vehicles, etc.  Call it done.  Oh no, he wants to find a buyer for the thing.  That too would sell off all of the stuff mentioned above plus the customer list.  But, a big BUT, this means I have to gather all kinds of financial info, he does too (inventory) and then deal with one of those companies who finds buyers.  We had a meeting in November with one, against all of my hesitation about it all.  He pushed and pushed and pushed until I just said okay I will meet with them but they knew up front I was not on board with this process.  Yesterday I finally finished gathering up my part of the info to put with The Hubby's stuff and Monday we will turn it in and see what happens.  My thoughts, and I bluntly shared them with the gentlemen, is that our business would not be a business, a successful business without this man sitting here (pointing at The Hubby).  I told them if you could find another The Hubby to take over and make sure the reputation of our business is at the highest level that we've maintained in nearly 42 years then maybe I can be on board but I don't think that can happen.  Our customers trust The Hubby, they depend on him being there, being trustworthy and doing the best job for them.  You can't clone The Hubby and I don't think selling our business is going to work.  They kind of agreed with me but again, The Hubby plugged on.  He is like a dog with a bone and will not let it go.  MAKES ME CRAZY that I feel like he is shoving this down my throat.  So we will let it play out and see what happens.  We either find a buyer or we close our doors.  And with some of the jobs we have going it still may be next year before we close the doors if we don't sell and continue.  Who knows, it's all so fluid at this point.  

Boy is this a ramble but you don't think about stuff like this when you start a business, do you.

 

My Tiny Rant

 All I can say this morning is I am mortally embarrassed and saddened by our country right now.  The spectacle I saw on the television yesterday made my blood boil then turned to absolute embarrassment.  I had Snicklefritz all day yesterday and never turned the TV on, nor did I check my social media, at all.  Imagine my surprise, or should I say my "shock and awe" by what I was witnessing on my television screen.  And yet our top dog basically did nothing to stop the mayhem.  I will admit here that I am a Republican but I am ashamed by my party right now, to support this man and to allow him to continue to insight this kind of violence while he smugly sits in the Oval Office egging it on.  Come on, man we have a new president and I will support the new president no matter what party I am.  I cannot condone the crap our current leader is doing.  While I will still be a Republican as far as political leanings I will not support this kind of crap and I haven't for a long time.  It's tempting to jump parties but I'm not going to fall into that line.  We voted, fair and square and we have a new leader, lets support him to do what is right and I know he will.  Joe Biden is a kind man and will do well.  Let's calm down because there is already enough crap going on in our world, we don't need this.  Be kind to your fellow man, try to stay in your own lane and let us get through this pandemic thing before you tear the country apart, piece by piece.  

Losing Weight Rant and Sob Story

No pictures today but doing a quick post driven by my trainer to think about.  She asked for us to come up with one or more things we could see ourselves doing again, ONCE we start losing weight and getting back in shape. 

Hmmm, the first thing is NOT TO HURT!  I know my joints are full of arthritis and are breaking down but that is mainly because of the weight that I've allowed to accumulate onto my short 5'3" body.  The joints are just over it and rebelling.  I want to not be in pain with every single step I take.   I know losing the weight will make a huge impact on that.

Second, is I want the ability to get up and down off the floor with little Min, play with my granddaughters, not use them as go-fers for me.  Again, this goes back to loss of weight will make it easier for me to move.

I can't really think of anything else except to be able to move better.  It's funny that 2 years ago I was in such good shape but ever since the hysterectomy and the knee procedure the weight has just accumulated by leaps and bounds.  I'm pretty sure part of my issue is hormones or lack there of because of the hysterectomy (hair loss too and dry skin) but I am NOT going on hormones, not ever.  Just going to eat better and that is what I am trying to do.  

Guess this is a weight loss rant and sob story.