Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Loss for Words & Middle Life

The past couple of weeks I have been at a loss for words here. I will try and write something worthwhile today.

Yesterday evening the storms rolled in and of course I didn't want to cook dinner, so out we went. The Hubby and I had a really nice meal and visit at Rick's American Cafe on 31st. We talked a lot, laughed, and really enjoyed the evening with each other. (Very nice :)! After dinner we ran to the truck and just got drenched but it was fun and we were a laughing. I told you, a nice evening last night. Home for the evening, I messed around on my laptop computer as did he on his computer. A called and we both chatted with her for a bit. She is a little homesick and we are missing her too. Bed at the usual time, around 10 and both of us were sawing logs before the news was over. Then about midnight it sounded like a gigantic bowling ball was rolling across the sky, right over our house. It woke me with a start, so much so that my adrenaline was pumping and I ended up tossing and turning, trying to go back to sleep at about 2:30, man, 4:45 a.m. rolls around way too early. During the tossing and turning stuff I had an idea for some posts and so started writing in my head. That is not good when that happens because I should have just gotten up and written them down right then. If I don't then I usually forget a bunch of it or I just can't shut my mind down.

One thought was about mid life which is where I am right now. I am 53 years old and I don't really feel like it. It's like those early years have just flown by like the speed of light. What gives away the truth is the silver (not gray, I refuse) hair peeking through every 5 weeks; my muscles and bones creaking; the inability to contain certain gases from escaping in the most unflattering way in the most inappropriate places; my eyelids a bit droopier; and the darn fat that has become resistant to diet and exercise. I also fight the thermostat in my body all the time now. We have the house thermostat set at 71 degrees most of the time, especially at night and sometimes 70 if I can sneak it, yet I'm sweaty in my sleep and really most of the time. Really these flashes are not near as bad as my mother's, thank goodness. I will live through it.

Now here is where my mind starts jumping around a lot. This line of thought got me to thinking about the bloggy world. While at BlogHer in Chicago last month the over abundance of Mommy Bloggers was amazing. Please, Mommy Bloggers don't condemn me over this. I thought we, the Baby Boomers were the majority here but we are not evident in the bloggy world. I have a hard time finding people, women like myself: middle-age (yuck bad taste in my mouth) woman-who works with her husband-empty nester-trying to find her place in this world and herself-no grandkids (yet)-woman in the blog world. I'm sorry but I'm not going to look for these "like" people in AARP, I want to find them in this world I have chosen to play in, blog central. So where are you my dears. I know a few and I love to read your blogs and find common ground. Rise up, ladies and let's join together and support each other! Okay, okay, I'm going a little overboard but really most of this is true to an extent and being around the mommy bloggers, well, it made me feel old and I'M NOT DAMMIT!!!!!!! I'm going into this 2nd part of my life kicking and screaming! I'm going to make my mark! I'm going to find myself! I'm going to have fun!


Anonymous said...

Sorry I am a mommy blogger :( - my mom started a blog, but she doesn't keep up with it. If she ever gets back into it I will let you know! For the record I don't think 52 is even close to old!

♥ Kathy♥ said...

Well I might not be a baby boomer, but I sure have the gray hairs peeking in (yeap about every 5 weeks a box of Loreal is purchased). I've no ideal when mid-life starts but I am guessing I am really close. Oh do I know what your saying about the aches and pains. LOL I get up in the morning hurting in places I have never had pains at before.

Char said...

I understand - I'm not a mommyblogger either because I never got to have babies. I'm a wonderful aunt, we have a good time...but in the end, they go home and I miss them.

and I have gray hair.

Kay said...

I didn't kick or scream into turning 60 a couple of weeks ago but then again, I'm not sure what I'm doing either. I'm sort of in limbo.

Cindy said...

Hi. I'm trying to find my way in the blogging world. I'm not a mommy. I will turn 50 in 21 days, not that I'm counting!

I've not been to BlogHer, but I'm planning to go to NYC.

Read me at: http://cindysclipboard.blogspot.com/

Would love to connect with like minded women!