Saturday, July 26, 2008

It's quiet here.

I am writing this at the cabin, technically neighbors cabin using Grumps Internet connection across the street. Harry and Jimbo are gone for the day, actually until tomorrow morning along with Sin and Bare. So it will be very quiet here. The Hubby left to go back to town this morning and won't be back so I'm by myself for the rest of the day and night. It's so quiet here. The holiday is over and it is hot so most are not up here. There are no golf carts zooming by and construction is done for the weekend and since it is so hot and dry the grass is not growing so no mowing. I hear birds and bugs buzzing around. In fact a little hummingbird just buzzed my head under this umbrella and just hung out and stared at me for a few seconds.
I'm going to use this time today to:
* Write this entry
* Write in my paper journal
* Read blogs
* Write letters
* Read my book, finish it and start another
* and tonight maybe watch a movie, The Kite Runner

It's quiet here!
It has been an awful week for me, medically. I had some issues, skin issues in the nether regions that caused me lots of sleepless nights, pain and just plain fear. On one of those nights of sleeplessness I started going over my history of skin eruptions and found a big correlation - STRESS and how I handle it.

1970 - My great grandfather passed away and it was my first funeral. I broke out in horrific hives that apparently were partially internal which made me vomit a lot along with the itching. Stress event 1

1970 - My first formal dance. My date had to bring me home early because I broke out in hives and hives just don't wear well with a formal gown. Stress event 2

2005 - My reluctant acceptance to do the books/accounting of our lake homeowners financial stuff. I developed a rash all over my upper half of my body, especially on my chest. Itch city and many, many visits to the dermatologist and lots of money spent to have it completely gone 2 days after I resigned the position. I was not sleeping and was a basket case with the heaviness of the responsibility of the job, a volunteer job. Stress event 3

Jan-Feb 2008 - B & B2 planning and having a arms were in a constant itchy rash. Wedding over and within a month it cleared up on it's own. I also was sick as a dog with a cold and no voice. Stress event 4

July 5, 2008 - The Hubby is in a very scary fireworks accident which results in a stay in ICU Burn on a vent for 3 days. Stress event 5

I was very strong and calm and handled it all well. The ensuing result is my stress popped out in skin issues and painful skin ulcers in places that are not seen. All this was made worse by my regular doc being on vacation, my GYN is on vacation, my dermatologist is on vacation. I was told to go to a minor emergency. I'm NOT taking my nether region to a minor emergency! Stress is piled onto stress as the skin eruption is getting worse and spreading and I'm even more stressed by this and the worry that I'm not sleeping and I'm very uncomfortable and FREAKED OUT. Finally, after crying on the phone to a nurse in the dermatologist office I am allowed to see the PA, which I thought was a woman. When I did meet Terry, it was a guy, but I was that point of ANYTHING! I'm healing with tons of antibiotics but this has all made me think about how I deal with stress. When The Hubby was first in the emergency room on the vent and I was sitting there watching him all alone I had the intense need for pen and paper. I NEEDED to write what I was feeling but there was none to be had. Maybe if I had written my feelings instead of bottling them up, or even if I had fallen apart the stress might not have manifested itself in the skin stuff. If, if, if. Well, I'm writing now and I'm going to have to keep a little notebook in my purse for the next stress event.


Anonymous said...

I think you are absolutely right with the connection between stress and your body reacting. Great idea to "write it out". We sure can't avoid stress in our lives, just need to learn how to defuse its effects on our bodies--not always easy to do.

Your lake retreat sounds wonderful. Enjoy your time.

*West Coastie*

dani said...

Good luck...there's nothing worse than having itchies especially itchies that you cant publicly scratch..

lily said...

My neighbor came over to my house and yelled at me over my dog!

I have a dog that I can't keep in my yard. I have tried everything and she always finds a way out. Anyway, this lady comes to my home, knocks on my door and when i open the door she points her finger at me and yells obscenities at me. Apparently my dog was in HER neighbors garbage and then pooped on HER NEIGHBORS LAWN! Why didn't she come and talk to me like a civil human being? Why was she a vicious monster attacking me at my door? I calmly went over to HER NEIGHBORS house where the garbage was and picked up every piece, and the dog poop. I agree that I have that responsibility to clean up after my dog. The one thing I don't agree upon is someone coming to my house and screaming in my face about something I didn't know about. Is anyone out there been blessed with a psyco-neighbor?
I don't think anyone remembers the golden rule...Do unto others as you would want done unto you!
I sent them a lovely card from this site I