Friday, January 04, 2008

Friday night

It is Friday night, 8:33 pm and I'm sitting on the couch in my robe and warm pants watching some show about match making on Lifetime. I would change channels but The Hubby took the controls and I would have to get up. The Hubby is already snoring on the other couch and I know I could change the channel now but if I get up I will just go straight to the bedroom and it is just too early to go to bed, so here I sit watching a show I don't want to see. DAMMIT, I guess I have to get up. BRB........

I don't know why I'm having trouble putting my feelings down here in print but I am. Last night I sort of started to attempt to write about friendship but I'm in absolute fear that I'm going to offend someone I really like. I guess I can just journal by hand since no one would read that, at least until I'm dead. I'm feeling sad I think because tomorrow night The Hubby has set up a "double date" with his best friend and their friend from high school. I'm having a problem with it because for over 30 years we were a foursome with Kelly and his wife Gail and she is now gone. I'm not sure I want to muddy that memory but I know that Kelly needs to move on and so do I. GOD....I miss Gail. She was the only friend that I could TRULY talk to about anything and everything. There is such a void in my life and to lose my mother right after that I'm just not dealing with it well lately. Maybe it's the holidays. I hope it passes when Spring comes around. I HATE, HATE, HATE winter. I get depressed and sad and I can't lose an ounce and I need to because of B's wedding March 29.

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