Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Whew!

Well, my Daddy took his trip. 71 years old and I was on pins and needles the day he decided to drive himself 1,000 miles to see his Sis. As the time for his trip approached I helped him get his financial affairs in order...just in case. You just never know and since it has been so soon after Momma's death I just needed to get it organized for my own peace of mind. Anyway, last Thursday morning he took off. I got a call at about 5:30 pm our time and he had driven 649 miles that day. I couldn't believe it. He said he was so bushed he didn't feel like eating. I panicked a little and told him he HAD to eat. He reassured me that he brought his Ensure's and was OK. The next evening The Hubby and I were at our lake retreat and around 7 pm I suddenly realized I had not heard from ANYBODY whether he had reached his destination yet. I immediately started the phone calling and was on the verge of utter and total panic when I finally got hold of my Sis and she said he was sitting with his sister visiting and reminiscing and totally lost track of time. The first WHEW! I knew he would enjoy his time with his Sis. Now we had to worry again when he would hit the road back home. I got a call Monday evening from my Sis to tell me that Daddy was again on the road. Yesterday my mind was preoccupied with thinking and worrying about him on the road by himself. I just could not take losing my Daddy so soon after Momma. Last night, Halloween, I was relaxing home after work and waited to call him about 6:30, HOORAY! He answered the phone. The second big WHEW! Daddy was Mr. Chatty Cathy about his trip although I could hear the exhaustion in his voice and the sadness. Daddy's sister is older than him, 78 and in terrible health. It had been about 8 years since he had seen her. Her husband is also in horrible health so I think my Daddy realized that it would be the last time he would see them, again reinforcing the fact that Momma was also gone.

It's a total fact that regardless of what we do with diet, exercise, or plastic surgery death is a fact of life. We can try to disguise it but trust me the mirror lies and your mind and eyes lie to you. I look in the mirror every morning after I've done the face painting and think, "Hey, not bad." The fact is the mind sometimes deceives itself. We had family pictures done the other day and I thought I looked pretty good that day, NOT! We got the proofs and amazingly enough I saw fat, wrinkles, skin changes and I HATED it. What has happened to my body and face. I'm not ready to be old yet old is staring me in the face every time I look in a mirror.

Sorry, for being a downer. Just having a bad day I guess.....

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